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Funny: Mystery Men
  • *FWOOSH* "Excuse me!"
  • When Mr. Furious tries to bail out during the Power Walk.
  • About the lack of villains:
    Vic: Look, I'm a publicist, not a magician. You want big news, you have to have big fights. A superhero needs a supervillain. And thanks to you, we've got none left.
    Captain Amazing: Then get... the... Death Man!
    Vic: Death Man is dead.
    Captain Amazing: Okay Father Doom.
    Vic: Life without parole. Apocalypto's doing fifty years. Armagezzmo's in exile. Baron von Chaos got the chair
    Captain Amazing: (legitimately surprised) Really?
    Vic: Casanova Frankenstein is locked up in a nut house...
    • Captain Amazing has sewn-on patches of various brand name logos of corporate sponsors on his suit.
  • Anything the Sphinx says.
    • "You dress in the manner of a male prostitute!"
  • "What do you mean 'we'? I was standing right over here."
    • "...I don't think he's gonna pull through."
  • The superhero tryout scene.
    • The Waffler (Dane Cook):
    "I...am the Waffler, with my griddle of justice I bash the enemy on the head or...I burn like so (presses it to his face)."
    • Pencilhead and Son:
    "Evening, I am Pencilhead"
    "and I'm Son of Pencilhead".
    • "I'm...the BALLERINA MAN!!!"
    • "PMS Avenger. I only work 4 days a month. You got a problem with that?!"
    Everyone: "No!"
  • Michael Bay's sole line: "Dude....can we bring the brewskis?"
    • "Yes, of course, you may absolutely bring ze brewskis!"
  • Mr. Furious injuring himself in the process of starting his motorcycle.
    Mr. Furious: ...Testicles...rising...
  • From the training montage:
    Mr. Furious: (balancing a tack hammer on his head) Why am I doing this, again?
    The Sphinx: When you can balance a tack hammer on your head, you will head off your foes with a balanced attack.
    Mr. Furious: And why am I wearing the watermelon on my feet?
    The Sphinx: (looks at the watermelon on Mr. Furious' feet) <beat> I don't remember telling you to do that.
  • When asked by a reporter what his superpower is, he says in a 'super amount of pain.'
  • When sneaking into Casanova Frankenstein's place, the group trigger something out in the yard that starts making an ominous noise. While they're freaking out over what kind of death trap it could be...the sprinklers go off.
  • The aftermath of Invisible Boy finally getting to use his powers. All his clothes fall off.
  • "Eyyy sucka when you gonna tear down dat jeep like I told you to?"
    Roy: That 'jeep' is actually an armoured car of some kind; I can't just rip it apart with a crowbar-"
    Sally: "Jus' junk it."
    Roy: Well maybe if you gave the proper tools, I could-"
    Sally: Junk it!
    Roy: All right, you know what? I'm willing to have this discussion with you, but I think we should deal with it like two people who resp—
    Sally: "I want it junked."
    Roy: Okay right now, I'm kinda like a powder-keg, and you're the match. If you tell me to junk it one more time-"
    Sally:"JUNK IT NOW! Y'got that?"
    Roy: [crushes the life out of a tension ball] "...that little sucker just saved your life!"
    Sally: AHAHAHAHA! Jus' junk it, y'miserable cuss!
  • This exchange:
    The Shoveller: All right, I'll take point, you two flank. Let's triangulate.
    The Spleen: Equilateral or isosceles?
  • The Blame-Thrower is exactly what it sounds like. Anyone fired upon start spouting blames to other people in the vicinity.
My Fellow AmericansFunny/FILMThe Naked Gun

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