- Basically the premise of the entire freaking show is to have at least three of these each episode. And boy, does it deliver!
- "Dubstep, careful! You can't use that type of language on this show."
- "They just call me Intern 2...Because I was the second intern they hired..."
- Indie: (makes pained face) "Kombucha? No? More for me." (makes another pained face)
- "Dammit Intern 2 you are working!" (throws up Kombucha on self) "Intern 2, get me a new scarf!"
- The Rat-Protector scene
- "Why are you attacking me? I'm supposed to be protecting you!"
- Metal panicking at the alarm and the others being completely nonchalant.
- This whole scene:
: "There's never going to be a fire." (Description Cut
of the MyMusic building on fire)
Indie: "Alright, first item: Fire Safety. To avoid any future confusion, I've removed the alarm system completely."
Indie: "Don't worry. I got a fire owl. Never seen an owl burn, so I'm pretty sure they're good at preventing fires. (Owl hoots)
Indie: "That wasn't an alarm. It was just hooting."
Metal: "Well, how can you tell when there is a fire?"
: "There won't be a fire 'cause we have a fire owl." (Description Cut
of the MyMusic building on fire)
- Metal has gotten over his anger management issues.
Metal: "I've actually got some anger management issues but, uh, I've gotten passed that. It's just a little bump in the road. No problem! (Scene accidentally smacks him with a boom mic) What the hell?!
Scene: "Sorry! I'm just practicing!" (makes indistinct noises)
Scene: "OMG really? Indie, if you let me do it, I'll work real close with you to make sure your music is represented!Please, please, please?"
Indie: "I think I'm gonna throw up.
Intern 2 ( whispers to Scene): "Probably from drinking all those fungus based beverages.
- Scene smacking Metal yet again with the boom mic and her sheepish "Sorry".
- Indie ignoring Scene's "Good Morning, Indie!"
- Metal says they haven't given him a desk, Indie says it's next on his to-do list and the to-do list appears on screen with the words "Actually it's 2nd on the list" accompanied by a ding and a pointing arrow.
- Indie says that metal and pop can coexist and to just look at Linkin Park. Idol begins a rather...rendition of the band's song "Crawling in My Skin" which makes Metal leave. Once he leaves she reveals she was purposely trying to make him leave.
- Hip-Hop telling Metal to pick up his soap, referencing the whole "don't drop the soap when showering in prison" thing. Metal says it's "a bit much".
- Metal sets up his office in the bathroom.
- Metal exclaiming "What?!" when Indie knocks incessantly on the stall door and Indie saying he didn't know he was in there.
- Scene rambling about social networks and Indie telling her to "Shut up, shut up, shut the *bleep* up.
- Indie knocking all of Intern 2's stuff to the ground, smashing his laptop and then slapping him for giving the "nonverbal 'Get-a-load-of-this-guy' face"
- Indie overreacting and saying threatening to fire Intern 2 for just getting started on finding Bigfoot.
- Another "Shut up, shut up, shut the *bleep* up
- Metal's first "Say What?"
- A sort of Stealth Pun:
Intern 2: See?
- Metal thinking the piles of scarves is a man.
- Metal's reaction to Indie talking about his family tree.
- And then still thinking the pile of scarves is a man.
- The other company members' profiles.
- When Idol tries to take "sexy" pictures of Scene, they always turn into something innocent, like Scene's face covered in butterflies.
- "Katniss and Peeta. Don't even get me started."
- Indie freaking out at his shirt.
- Scene bursting into tears, Metal thinking he did something and Scene abruptly stopping her crying when the time changes to 2:01.
- Whatever Techno and Dubstep were doing with the bracelets, Idol's face during it is quite hilarious.
- Indie claims that anyone who doesn't think Downton Abbey is the greatest TV Show ever is a moron and a piece of garbage....Unless they're referencing Season Two.
- "Dammit Intern 2! Get out of my office and go protect the rats!"
- Indie was apparently singing the Taylor Swift song from The Hunger Games.
- Idol struggling to make lemonade. Just...that entire scene.
- The duck face pictures at the end.
- Idol creeping up behind Techno
- Bidets are apparently "French butt-washing machine[s]."
- Scene's off-screen wail of "I'M NOT EMO!"
- Indie's dad's gratuitous Vomit Indiscretion Shots.
- Rebecca Black quitting and leaving while mumbling indistinctly.
- Indie trying to grow a mustache...and then falling over either from exhaustion or distress
- Metal doing his usual "SAY WHAT?" while Indie looks at him.
- On Idol's list of shows "'REALITY' SHOW THAT IS CLEARLY STAGED" is followed by "OH WAIT THAT'S EVERY REALITY SHOW".
- Idol's "YEP" at the auction show part.
- At the survival show part, Idol drinks from a canteen and then points to it. Written on it is the words "MY PEE".
- For some, Cancer Dancers. For others....
- Techno freaking out at being called J-Pop
- Intern 2 being blamed and then told to shut up.
- Scene getting a little too excited. Twice.
- Everyone over-dramatically doing something so that they (Metal and Rayna) doesn't think they were watching them.
- Except for Indie. Too mainstream.
- Indie doing a spit-take before Metal says anything.
- Rayna shouting out her friends and being yelled at for it.
- Metal proclaiming his daughter to be dead to him for asking what a "sevendust" is.
- Idol's video. All of it. And the cover for it. And it's title.
- Hip-Hop being startled by Idol and Rayna's shrieks.
- Idol is Rayna's best friend "this week".
- Intern 2 is apparently a great conversationalist.
- Metal calls his daughter a ree-ree to which she responds "Ree Ree Rihanna!"
- Idol and Rayna's failed high-five
- Indie says Techno and Dubstep told him that the louder the music they play, the harder they're working. Cut to Techno and Dubstep asleep.
- Scene claims she's not emo. Her watch beeps and she bursts into tears.
- Indie fires Idol for not replacing the Fair Trade Blend. Idol rewinds time, tells her she's on her period and gets a raise.
- The illustrations in the Metal Mystery.
- The results of the Metal Mystery algorithm.
- Idol's date with the Guess Guy.
- Metal freaking out about the lip-gloss and then beating up Intern 2.
- Idol live-tweeting her date.
- Idol is about to kiss her date, until a Daughtry CD falls out of his coat and she yells at him to get out and him submissively doing so.
- Also how she starts drinking directly from the wine bottle after he leaves.
- Idol talking to Metal and Intern 2 while the former is strangling the latter.
- The Stinger
- Just how done Chip is with Idol, rolling his eyes when she starts crying
- Indie interrupted himself to ask if he should be offended by Portlandia
- Hip Hop singing and then hurriedly taking off his headphones and flipping over his iPod when Scene comes to talk to him
- "That's the name of our company"
- Hip-Hop intently listening to Scene until he realizes she's not talking about the glitter incident.
- Indie putting his hand on Scene's shoulder....and then pushing her into the wall.
- "But there's no front door in here to shut."
- Rayna: "So what will it be? Lady Blah-Blah over here... or would you rather have something more dangerous? I'm underage...!"
- Rayna doing the "SAY WHAT?" thing while Intern 2 stands there losing his patience.
- Rayna punching Intern 2 in the gut.
- Camera-Man zooming in to Idol.
- Hip-Hop has a "dice game" with "the homies".
- "SPARKS WILL FLY FOR SCENE AND INDIE TONIGHT!"
- "Everyone at my school watches this!"
- Metal losing his cool when Rayna says she apparently wasn't good enough for him.
- And how he resolves it...
- "Wait, what just happened?"
- The "party"
Episode 12.5 (Sitcom Version 2)