Funny / My Fellow Americans

  • Be glad you're not with Gerald Ford, we'd be lying in a heap at the bottom of the stairs!
  • The gay Secret Service guy arranges for the ex-presidents to ride with some "friends" of his. Cut to the presidents (who are not the largest of men) holding on for dear life on the back of motorcycles driven by a "Dykes on Bikes" motorcycle club, seated behind two women who look like they could bench-press half the NFL.
    Kramer: (shakily) I ought to change my stance on gays in the military. The Army could use a few of them gals.
  • As they rummage around Kramer's presidential library, Douglas notices a copy of Time magazine with Kramer on the cover.
    Kramer: There's something you don't have. I was Time magazine's Man of the Year.
    Douglas: So was Hitler.
    Kramer: Not twice!
    • One of the items in the library is a talking pull-string toy of Kramer
      Kramer Toy: Don't you fall into the trap, Democrats are full of crap!
  • When Matthews reveals his obsfucating stupidity:
    Matthews: "Funny thing is everybody thinks I'm this big idiot, and its all a big facade (pronouncing it fah-kade)."