- Josef gets quite a few moments.
- "Sorry, not questioning your loyalties. Vampire solidarity. Rah, rah, rah and all that."
- "Hey, you have a soft spot for the mortal ones. A fascination with all the charming things they do, while listening to the 'tick, tick, tick' of their own looming demise. That's fine. That's good. Everyone needs a hobby."
- "You seriously drink this stuff? What is it, like, non-fat, soy, vegan blood?"
- "Hey look. I know you have morals and scruples and that's fine, sort of."
- Mick comes to Josef on a case.
Mick: Your name came up in connection with a story Maureen was working on.
Josef: Well, was her body found in the La Brea tar pits?
Josef: That was the only person I killed this week.
Mick: Josef, this is serious.
Josef: No, this is stupid. Yes, Maureen called me, and I'll tell you what I told her. Look, I'm on the board of dozens of charities. I can't keep track; my PR man sets it all up. I had no idea this charity was bogus until she told me.
Mick: Okay, then we'll talk to your PR man.
Josef: Remember the tar pits?