- One moment that stands out is in the trailer is when a boy throws a newspaper on the house's front lawn as he's riding past, muttering "Stupid house." The house apparently throws the paper back at the boy from offscreen, knocking him off of his bike.
- Chowder's sadness over losing his basketball in Nebbercracker's yard:
Chowder: I paid 28 dollars for that ball. I raked ten yards and asked my mom for a dollar 26 times. I never worked that hard in my life.
- This dialogue when DJ and Chowder are escaping from the Monster House.
DJ: (as he and Chowder flee back into his house) Don't look back!Chowder: (looks back anyway and the house makes a scary face) AHHHH, I LOOKED BACK!
- Chowder's insults at the house in the climax.
You ain't nothin'! You're a shack! You're an out-house!
Sorry about your wife. .. And your house. .. Your house-wife.
- And DJ's attempt at lightening a situation at the end.
- This gem of a pun:
Jenny: If those are the teeth and thatís the tongue, then that must be the uvula.Chowder: Oh. So itís a girl house.Jenny: *disgusted* What? No. It stimulates the gag reflex. Everyone has a uvula.Chowder: Not me.
- TV spots and trailers for the movie showed the house swallowing the police car whole with the cops inside, and all that there's left is the car's hubcap, which continues to spin in the middle of the street. Trust me, it's funnier when you watch it.
- The house itself, despite being the antagonist of the movie, actually gets a few funny moments, especially in the original script.
- There's one scene where the house shows Chowder his basketball to try and lure him in, and it uses the small staircase in its foyer to dribbleit, and also somehow manages to draw a scary face on it.
- One of the house's antics in the original script involves two characters that were cut from the movie, two neighborhood bullies named Ryan and Cameron, who throw eggs at the house. The house manages to catch the eggs with its tree branches and throws them back at the bullies.
- Another one from the original script includes the house letting out a loud belch right after eating the vacuum cleaner-dummy.
- It may be subject to Nightmare Retardant, but the way the script describes how the house was originally supposed to eat the squad car is strangely funny. It allegedly states that the house is holding the car with two of its tree-hands similar to how a human would hold a hamburger.