Funny: Minority Report
- The Precops send iris tracker robots to search around the apartment Anderton was hiding, they came upon a couple fighting each other, they stop so the robots could check them, then continue fighting after it finished.
- The revelation that Cops is still on in 2054.
- When the Precops enter the apartment building, there's a guy dancing in the lobby. As soon as the Precops pass, he gleefully gives them two middle fingers.
- Anderton had eye surgery, the eyes belonged to a Japanese man as it was revealed later on.
Hello Mr. Yakamoto, welcome back to the Gap. How did those assorted new tank tops work out for you?
- Then follows up with Anderton trying to find clothes to fit Agatha, and uses a woman with her back turned as a way to check if the clothes he has are the right size for her.
- A good bit of the scenes involving Rufus falls under this. Two in particular are his telling a client that the requested killing-my-boss hologram is very popular and the part where Anderson asks him to slow down the memories being streamed from Agatha's mind. Rufus gives him a confused look and asks "How do I slow this down, I should hit her on the head?"
- Just the realization that in a world where murder becomes impossible that killing your hated boss becomes more in-demand than good clean porn.
- "Those thoughts about my cousin Elaina, they were JUST thoughts!"
- "You're the man", "No you're the man".
- "I like you, Wally, so I don't want to have to hurt you or hit you with anything hard..."
- When Witwer compares the Precogs and society to deities and priests, Anderton turns to his nodding peers and retorts:
Anderton: You guys are nodding your heads like you know what the hell he's talking about.
- On the other hand, setting up the hobo to be an unwitting booby trap to the pursuing cop, now THAT's funny. Anderton and Agatha are fleeing from a cop in hot pursuit, down a narrow hallway. Just past a door, they encounter a hobo that begs for money. Agatha instructs Anderton to drop some money-literally, DROP IT, and close the door. Anderton does, and they continue fleeing. The hobo takes a moment to complain (and lampshade) the fact that Anderton could have put the money right in his hand, but instead he has to sprawl across the hallway to collect this loose change...cue the cop barging through the door and plowing straight into the hobo, who serves as a very effective tripping hazard.
- The singing cereal package annoys Anderton so much that he angrily throws it away.
- When he gets his eyes he has to endure temporary blindness. At the apartment set up for him in recovery he was told a fresh sandwich and drink were in the fridge for him. What makes it funny is that while there are fresh food, he accidentally finds rotten food and eats it instead.
- Some great Deadpan Snarker exchanges with Dr. Iris Hineman:
John Anderton: That's all, huh? Just walk right into Precrime, go in the Temple, somehow tap into these Precogs, and then download this Minority Report.
Dr. Iris Hineman: If you have one.
John Anderton: And then walk out.
Dr. Iris Hineman: Actually, I think you'll have to run out, but yes, that is what you have to do.
Dr. Iris Hineman: Find the minority report.
John Anderton: How do I even know which one has it?
Dr. Iris Hineman: It's always in the more gifted of the three.
John Anderton: Which one is it?
Dr. Iris Hineman: The female.
- When Anderton pulls a gun on Witwer in the middle of Pre-Crime, Witwer says, "Put the gun down, John. I don't hear a red ball." Then the alarms go off. The Oh Crap! look on Witwer's face is priceless.
- The scenes with Anderton and Dr. Solomon are blackly humorous as well:
Anderton: You set your patients on fire.Dr. Solomon (defensively): I put 'em out.Anderton: I'd like to keep the old [eyes].Dr. Solomon: Why?Anderton: Because my mother gave them to me.
- The jetpack sequence once Anderton and the cop crash into an apartment complex, crashing upward into a family dinner (the family slowly backs away at the first bump), and finally into a kid's room while he's practicing the sax.
- Anderton running after his eyeballs. That scene became meme-worthy on YTMND.