Funny / Minamoto-kun Monogatari

Humor and harem stories always go together. The Tale of Minamoto-kun is no exception. When a timid teenager embarks on a journey to become a Casanova, things are bound to get awkward and squeeze a giggle or two out of the readers.

Terumi Minamoto Introduction Arc

• Terumi's very first struggle. On his first day of his college life, he determines himself to regain his ability to drink milk (having a glass full right away), and then he'll bang every chick that comes across! ...And then he throws up the milk.

Asahi's Conquest Arc:

• Asahi reveals she likes reading shoujo manga. Trying to use this as a means to conquer her, Terumi takes a look at one of the magazines. Kaoruko spots him and offers him some more, as she has a full stock of manga for "fujoshi" girls... for research purposes.
• Kaoruko's "special lecture wig".
• Kaoruko suggests that Asahi and Terumi go on a date. When asked why, she makes a sad, abused face and accuses Terumi of lusting for her. Followed by an illustration of Kaoruko as Little Red Riding Hood and Terumi as a big horny wolf.

  (side text): He can't totally deny it.

• Chapter 10 is nothing but bad luck for Terumi. First he gets laughed at by a couple who were having sex in the bathroom, then he yells he'll become a master of sex only to be heard by Tsukiko, and then she turns him into her plaything in exchange for her silence. What kind of plaything? The one that looks awfully cute in makeup and a flower crown. But that doesn't end here. While he's still looking like that, Kaoruko finds him and offers her advice for the upcoming date with Asahi. Naturally, since we're talking about Kaoruko, her help involves lots of teasing and arousal, prompting Terumi to get up and scream...

  Terumi: Fine, I'll bang your brains out!

  Kaoruko (looking smug): Ohhh?

  Asahi: Terumi! What do you think you're saying to her!?

  Tsukiko (thinking): So he really does want to have sex with her!

  • Next panel: Terumi and Asahi are sitting in the cinema... keeping distance from each other.
    • Another thing that's easy to miss for non-Japanese speakers: Tsukiko's thoughts are followed by a "doki-doki" SFX.
• Trying to use the romantic atmosphere to his advantage, Terumi touches Asahi's hand, but nothing happens. He thinks that holding hands is no big deal for her... but in fact, she is "completely frozen in place not knowing how to react". Her face sells it.
  • And if that's not enough, a kiss from him makes her pass out.
    • Thinking this means consent to continue, Terumi proceeds to touch Asahi's breasts, noting how "soft" they are. Next page shows Kaoruko staring with an unimpressed expression at a gloom Terumi, complete with a giant slap mark on his face. Kaoruko then tells Terumi that despite the disastrous result of the date, Terumi has to continue pursuing her or else risk being labeled a "sex fiend" who was after his cousin's body. Terumi's expression to these statements are hilarious.
• Following his experience of sucking his aunt's breasts, Terumi notes to himself in horror how he could have done such a thing before immediately noting how awesome it was. Kaoruko then comes in and wonder what the hell he's screaming about.
• Murakami noting that without Terumi around, he's been lonely at the university. While this may normally be sad, Murakami has proven himself to be a bit of a loser and his expression leads one to laughter rather than pity.
  • Continuing the conversation, Murakami notes that Terumi has too many relatives at his school.
    Terumi: It's just two...That's a lot?
  • Murakami yelling at Terumi for having attractive relatives and wanting to have sexual relations with them. Terumi's expression pretty much says "Are you freaking stupid?"
    Murakami: Don't tell me!! It's not just your aunt, but you've also gone after your cousin!!? After the main dish of your aunt comes your cousin, the desert? I'm so jealous!!
    Terumi: Why is that the only thing you ever think of? Give a rest already.
    Murakami: Man, you're boring.
• In Chapter 19, Terumi and Murakami see Asahi and Tsukiko in business attire after their day of searching for jobs. Murakami's abrupt comment sells it:

  Murakami: That's the kind of ass I like to see. Especially the one on the right.

  Terumi: Don't look at my cousin like that.

• After all the foreplay that takes place between Terumi and Asahi, Asahi's mother and Kaoruko finally return home. Asahi is nervous and dresses quickly while Terumi complains that Asahi "shouldn't dress as he has yet to see her..." - the rest of the comment is lost as Asahi slaps Terumi.
• As Terumi and Kaoruko prepare to walk home, Terumi notes to Asahi that he would like to speak privately to her. Asahi retorts that he can say whatever he has to say right there. Cue Terumi looking really pissed and Asahi being freaked out. Kaoruko then comments how "close" the two are.
  • After walking a short distance away, Kaoruko slaps Terumi out of nowhere. The kicker is that she did it not because Terumi made advances on his cousin but because he couldn't go all the way with her.

Aoi's Conquest Arc:

• Following Terumi's experience with Asahi, Kaoruko offers further "training" by telling Terumi he's going to sleep in her bed and he is not to TOUCH her in anyway. Naturally Terumi struggles with this:

  Kaoruko: Already close to your limit?

  Terumi: A-AS IF!!

  • Terumi is further tested when Kaoruko makes out with him and then promptly goes to sleep. Tempted, Terumi proceeds to touch her breasts and then goes a step further by attempting to suck on them, again. What he realizes too late is that she was awake the whole time.
    Kaoruko: What do you think you are doing?
    Terumi: Ah, well...
    Kaoruko: (Steps on his head) DO YOU EVEN WANT TO GET LAID? AT THIS RATE, YOU'LL JUST GET REJECTED AGAIN!!
• Terumi and Murakami are discussing the wonders of being approached by girls, especially slightly older ones. Terumi notes that Murakami lives alone, so he should be able to get to know girls around his area. Murakami agrees and leads into this gem:

  Murakami: Yeah...one brought me some meat stew. She was dang pretty...

  Terumi: EH?!

  Murakami: ...30 years ago she was...I bet.

  Both: (Sitting in silence)

  Murakami: (Rests his head in disappointment) I want to be attacked by a slightly older girl.

• Terumi meets Aoi and is promised a "reward" for helping clean her apartment. When he notes to himself that he is not going to lose control, Aoi says:

  Aoi: So...wanna do it with me?

  Terumi: (Immediately) Yes.

  Both: (Silence)

  Terumi: (Thinking) Oh man...Just when you said not to be greedy and get her to hate you!!

• Kaoruko gets a text message from Terumi that says he's with Aoi and won't be home tonight. Just as she's feeling proud of her nephew, her doorbell rings a few minutes later and she finds Terumi outside, kicked out by Aoi. She notes that that was fast, even for him.
• In a flashback, Terumi was known to not take any crap from anybody, including family. When Asahi was inadvertently poking fun at his mother complex in Pre-K, Terumi flips her skirt and reveals her bunny blommers, calling her childish. She chases him around the classroom until he runs into the protective arms of a teacher and can only seethe in the background.
• When Kaoruko confirms Terumi's mother complex, she takes up a motherly stance and invites Terumi into her bosom, all with a loving smile. This freaks Terumi out.
• While hanging out at Murakami's apartment, Terumi hears kinky sounds coming from next door. Terumi wonders what it is and Murakami responds accordingly, all with a calm look on his face.

  Murakami: It's a slutty girl.

  Terumi: EH?! Wha..?

  Murakami: Not a day goes by that she's not doing it...I wish she'd take me. I had the balls to talk to her yesterday. I wanna get rid of my virginity as fast as I can.

  Terumi: (Thinking) Murakami...

  Murakami: It turned out it was just an old fart watching porn.

  Both: (Sitting in silence)

  Murakami: (Starts screaming at Terumi) GET IT!? THIS IS REALITY! WHAT'S THIS CRAP ABOUT A CHICK NEXT DOOR!?

  • This makes the following conversation even funnier when Terumi then explains his current love life at the moment is being a slave to a hot neighbor; in this case, Aoi. Murakami has tears of anger flowing down his face.
    Terumi: A-Are you okay?
    Murakami: (Throws a tissue box at him) SCREW OFF!! Why isn't spring coming to me? I wanna be pawned off, too! I wanna be the slave of a hot neighbor! Please let me hang out at your place next time!! It's filled with those hot babes!!
• Aoi and Terumi finally proceed into foreplay with each other. During the process Aoi wants Terumi to lick her fingers.

  Aoi: Fufu...You're like a dog. A dog I used to have always licked me...just like that.

  Terumi: Your...dog?

  Aoi: From long ago. Dogs always show it on their face if they want something, right? That's what I love about them. It's similar to your desire-filled eyes.

  Terumi: (Thinking) D-Don't tell me she had the dog lick...

  Aoi: (As if reading his perverted mind) ...No. You were thinking of something vulgar, weren't you?

• When Terumi loses control again and starts licking Aoi through her panties, her protests stop after a while, making Terumi think he's actually skilled. Aoi gives him a smile before telling him outright that his technique sucks.
• Finally losing his virginity, Terumi finally cuts loose and has his way with Aoi...for about ten seconds. Aoi is naturally disappointed and Terumi starts screaming at his little "Johnny" what the hell does it think it's doing.

Tsukasa's Mini-Arc:

• Tsukiko's expressions when she's "found" out Terumi's relationship with his aunt is pretty hilarious.
• Walking Tsukiko home, Terumi can't help but stare at her beautiful profile. When she calls him out for behaving in a perverted manner, Terumi just states that an erotic novelist like her should understand before thinking to himself that he's an idiot.
• The return of Asahi shows that she still hasn't gotten over her experience with Terumi yet. Her expressions sell it.
  • Afraid of leaving Tsukiko alone with such a "beast", Asahi tags along and threatens Terumi with a beating if he makes a move on her. Terumi is flustered but notes that he has zero trust. Who could blame her?
  • Tsukiko is no fool and notes the tense atmosphere between the cousins.
    Tsukiko: (Sees that both Terumi and Asahi are flustered) Why are you faces so red? W-Was I interrupting you?
    Asahi: (Grabs Tsukiko's arm as she turns away) YOU WEREN'T!
• Asahi and Tsukiko run into Aoi in the street. Terumi has no clue what to do or say except stand there like an idiot.
• Kaoruko correctly guesses who Terumi's former tormentor is, mentions that she's attending the same university as Terumi and notes that she has a picture of her.

  Terumi: You even got a picture? What kind of connections do you have...?

  Kaoruko: That's a trade secret...

  Terumi: (After thinking in silence for a while) It would be better to avoid...

  Kaoruko: (Gently raps him on the head while smiling) No.

• Terumi asks Murakami where Tsukasa is.

  Murakami: (In smug disbelief) You've been searching for her for a whole week? Just ask me, especially when it comes to beauties.

  Terumi: (Sitting there with an expression that says "Doubt it".)

  • After Murakami finds out that Terumi knew Tsukasa since middle school
    Murakami: Aw, I can't take this! Why is it only you!?
• On Tsukasa's popularity:

  Murakami: Chuujou-san is quite popular, you know. As far as I know, countless people have failed in courting her.

  Terumi: ...You too?

  Murakami: No, I haven't tried yet.

  Terumi: ...

• After witnessing Tsukasa's dirty little secret and getting caught, Tsukasa reveals that she doesn't remember who Terumi is. Kaoruko notes that's how offenders are. Doesn't stop Terumi from looking hilariously pissed.
• Terumi wrestling with the prospect of meeting up with Tsukasa, especially after her secret has been discovered. He's sweating and shaking all over the place; a few students around him wonders if he's sick.
• Tsukasa makes out with Terumi in an attempt to keep his mouth shut about the affair going on between her and Professor Konoe. Terumi is not having it and notes that being seduced by a girl he hates doesn't do anything for him. Tsukasa looks down and notes that his "little friend" thinks otherwise.
• The sheer irony of Terumi telling himself to "man up" as he goes to seduce Professor Konoe is hysterical. Becomes even more funny when Tsukasa realizes who he is right away where the idiotic Konoe has to be shown that he was basically flirting with a man.
• After Terumi stands up to Tsukasa at the cafe and walks out like a boss, Professor Konoe realizes who the guy making out with his mistress is. Terumi even gives him a wink!!
• What does Terumi do when he realizes that Tsukasa isn't as scary as he believed? Masturbate while thinking about her! Of course.
• Terumi's expression when Kaoruko tells him to forget about Tsukasa, only introducing her back into Terumi's life to get him to conquer his trauma. Terumi is pissed that it won't go beyond that point.

  Terumi: (Thinking furiously to himself) Was all that fapping to Chuujou-san still not enough?!

Hanada's Conquest Arc:

• Kaoruko and Terumi shop for a better bed at a store for the sole purpose of inviting girls to his room and sleeping with them. Kaoruko rolling around on a bed in a seductive manner complicates things, especially when Terumi starts getting flustered and a crown starts to gather around them.

  Terumi: What were you thinking, Kaoruko-san?

  Kaoruko: I wasn't really doing anything strange.

• Anytime the perverted kid makes a pass at Hanada, it leads to him getting punished by his mom; even Terumi smacked him upside the head once. The kid doesn't learn of course and keeps doing it. He only really starts behaving meekly, when Hanada starts treating him coldly, albeit unintentionally.
• Tsukasa's expression when Hanada correctly deduces her growing feelings for Terumi.
• Hanada's reaction to learning what Terumi does to her aunt at times and him asking her opinion.

  Hanada: ...To be honest, I shuddered.

  Terumi: I'm sorry.

• Terumi is ecstatic that he has a girlfriend as awesome as Hanada despite it being a "trial" and welcomes the possibility of a "pure" relationship. Kaoruko walks in on him while he's jacking off and notes with a HUGE SMUG SMILE:

  Kaoruko: Seems your body isn't interested in a pure relationship...

• After defending Hanada from another perverted pass courtesy of the kid, Terumi laments that unless Hanada learns to properly reject others, she's going to be taken advantage of by weird, lewd guys...like himself.
• Aoi shows up again while talking with Kaoruko and notes her experience with Terumi in bed, stating that he had eyes like a wild beast. She quickly states that her father is "better" though, since Daddy is the most important...of course.
• Terumi's reaction when history repeats itself with Hanada the same as it did with Aoi. Good thing Hanada doesn't really mind. As a result of that, Terumi is later seen rolling happily on his bed and doesn't notice Kaoruko watching from a distance.

Rokujou's Conquest Arc:

• Terumi's reaction to finding Marriage registration papers on Rokujou's desk after he has sex with her.

Shian/Semi's Conquest Arc:

• When Kaoruko is driving back home along with Terumi, she starts saying that she can't introduce Terumi to the next target in his current state, explaining that it would be rude to her...while casually grabbing Terumi's crotch.
• Kaoruko's impersonation of Semi.

Yuu's Conquest Arc:

• Everytime Yuu seems so non-chalant about things that she's mistaken for being experienced and unfazed...when she's in reality so petrified that she can't emote or say anything...until Terumi breaks it by accidentally touching her hand while they're walking through a street loaded with love hotels.
• Yuu confesses that frail men like Terumi aren't really her type, then embraces him from behind saying she doesn't want to let him go, despite what she just said. It's a Heartwarming Moment until Terumi mentions being in agony from having her body pressed against his back...And Yuu looks town to see that, in her words, "a mountain has..." emerged.
  • And then Kaoruko nonchalantly does the same embrace step-by-step when casually asking "You talked to her calmly while embraced like this?" while Terumi is trying his hardest to keep his cool.

Beauty Pageant Arc:

• Terumi appears in crossdressing to compete in the pageant, and he REALLY can pull it off well. The last panel of the chapter in question shows Tsukiko and Asahi happy with the results of their production, Murakami has a confident smirk, Chuujou is visibly stunned, Kaoruko seems pleased, Yuu is absolutely stunned and Rokujou...is pulling off a perfect Yandere Trance expression at the sight of Terumi.