Funny / Meduka Meguca

• From this promo video starring Kyoko:
  Kyoko: And on the third day, the Lord said: I will be lesbian for you, you blue-haired bitch.
  (Cut to her holding some... suggestive pictures of said blue-haired bitch.)
  Kyoko: And so it was done.
• This gem from the dream sequence scene of Episode 1:
  Kyubey: Let me touch you.
  Madoka: Okay, fine.
• The girls' homeroom teacher ranting about waffles, pancakes, and French toast.
  • Also, the infamous Nakazawa being referred to as Random Student C.
• Homura has a serious Freudian Slip problem in Episode 1, but this is the really funny one:
  Madoka: Where are you taking me?
  Homura: To fill my void.
  Madoka: What?
  Homura: Nothing.
• Homura is heard yelling "Ouch!" and ranting after Sayaka throws the fire extinguisher away when she rescued Madoka.
• Kyouko ranting about screen time at the end of episodes are great, Episode 2 in particular:
  Kyouko: [Homura's] just mad because I'm the Seme. I'M THE SEME IN EVERY PAIRING, BITCH, NOW BEND OVER.
• Episode 2, Madoka is just waking up in her bed. She looks over at her shelf of stuffed animals. Guess who's there.
  Kyubey: Hiiii.
  Madoka: MOTHERF-
• Madoka and Sayaka's obsession with candy.
  Sayaka: Seriously, I'm just here for the candy.
  • Kyubey using candy to get Madoka's attention during episode 1 in the creepiest voice possible.
• Mami and Sayaka accusing Madoka of being a drug addict whenever she questions a plot device.
  Sayaka: Again, Madoka?! Goddammit, I see you lighting up!
  Madoka: What the fuck-! I'm not smoking!
• Later in Episode 2, Mami is explaining what the whole magical girl schtick is about.
  Mami: So basically, you can kick ass in totally inappropriate clothing in exchange for any wish if you make a contract with this alien space ferret.
  (Madoka and Sayaka stare blankly)
  Mami: No, there is no candy.
  Sayaka: MOTHERFU-
• The conversation of sorts between Mami and the witch she battles in episode 2.
  Mami: Time to, like, kick some ass.
  Gertrud: Oh no you didn't!
  Mami: *Summons Muskets*
  Gertrud: Oh no you didn't! You're shitting guns?!
  Mami: They're called rifled muskets, motherfucker.
• There's a particular gem from the beginning of episode 3, during Sayaka's visit to Kyosuke at the hospital. She brings him a novel on a CD, leading to this exchange:
  Kyosuke: Did you want to listen to [the novel on the CD] too? It's an amaaaaazing story.
  Sayaka: Sure, what's it called?
  Kyosuke: Fifty Shades of-
  Sayaka: WHAT- (gets cut off by opening)
• Kyubey bursting into laughter after Mami dies.
• The onslaught of head jokes in episode 3.
• In Episode 3, there's a sequence of flashback scenes after Mami's death. At first it starts out sad, showing her previous fighting scenes while set to emotional music. Then it dissolves into hilarity when a hilariously Off-Model image of her appears in scenes of the show that she never showed up in (and even her own death scene), and then even more hilarity when she starts popping up in completely different series (Elfen Lied, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Cowboy Bebop, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann (complete with Kamina shades), even My Little Pony), all while the sad music is still playing.
  • Afterwards:
  Sayaka: So, wanna get some head cheese?
• At the end of Episode 4, we have Madoka and Sayaka arguing about what the show's intended audience is, and Madoka being accused of being a homophobe on top of the drug addiction.
• This exchange between Kyoko and Mami's head:
  Kyoko: Knock-knock.
  Mami's head: (Sigh) Who's there?
  Kyoko: Mami.
  Mami's head: Mami who?
  Kyoko: Exactly.
• Kyoko's rant; as awesome as it is, Madoka's crying keeps interrupting:
  Kyoko: [To Madoka] Interrupt me again, and I will force feed you glass and throw you under a bus- is that what you want?! Now shut up! [...] CRAM IT WOOBIE!