Funny / Mean Girls

  • When Gretchen kicks the CD player in her boyfriend's face.
  • Karen revealing her "talent".
    Karen: It's like I have ESPN or something.
  • This exchange:
    Janis: There are two kinds of evil people: People who do evil stuff and people who see evil stuff being done and don't do anything to stop it.
    Damian: Does that mean I'm morally obligated to burn that lady's outfit?
  • Cady's mother's triple take when her husband displays a complete ignorance of what being grounded means.
    Mrs. Heron: Where's Cady?
    Mr. Heron: She went out.
    Mrs. Heron: She's grounded.
    Mr. Heron: Are they not allowed out when they're grounded?
  • This exchange:
    Karen: So if you're from Africa, why are you white?
    Gretchen: Oh my God, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white.
  • When Janis underlines "Army of Skanks."
  • "Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant, and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position. Don't have sex standing up. Just don't do it. Promise?" Followed by condoms being handed out.
  • 'Get in, loser, we're going shopping!'
  • Regina's dad pouting at the sight of her Halloween costume.
  • While on the phone, Karen needs an excuse to not see Regina. Cue a hilariously fake cough and "I'm sick" comment to which Regina responds, "Boo, you whore." (the last part of which is almost always edited when shown on TV).
  • "And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals."
  • Gretchen's Backhanded Apology, followed by no one's willing to catch her fall... except Karen.
  • Cady cruising the hall with the rest of the Plastics and accidentally stumbling head-first into a garbage can.
  • Damien is in the girls's restroom:
    Random (short) Girl: Hey, get out of here!
    Damien: Oh my God, Danny DeVito, I love your work!
    • Please note he moves towards her like he's about to hug her.
  • Regina: Gretchen, stop trying to make "fetch" happen! It's not going to happen!
  • The following:
    Bethany Byrd: (about Regina) "One time she punched me in the face. (Beat) It was awesome."
  • "So you think you're really pretty..."
  • A fat girl bumps into Regina (who gained some weight) in the cafeteria and yells at her, "Watch where you're going, fatass!"
  • When we get introduced to the Plastics, Damien says the reason Gretchen's hair is so big is because it's full of secrets.
  • "Four for you, Glen Coco! You go, Glen Coco!"
    • "...And none for Gretchen Weiners. Bye."
  • Karen's, "I'm a mouse... duh." in regards to her slutty Halloween costume.
  • As some random guy, maybe a Jerk Jock, walks past Janis, he asks Janis what her wig was made of, to which she replies, "Your mom's chest hair!"
  • "It's not my fault I have a heavy flow and a wide set vagina."
  • The "apologies" scene.
    Random Girl: (sniffling) I wish we could all be friends again like in middle school. I wish I could bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles and we'd all eat it and be happy.
    Damien: (from the very back of the crowd, wearing his hoodie and sunglasses) She doesn't even go here!
    Mrs. Norbury: ...Do you actually go to this school?
    Random Girl: No... I just have a lot of feelings.
    Mrs. Norbury: ...Okay, go home.
  • Damien "disguising" himself in sunglasses and a hooded sweatshirt so he can attend the workshop that was only intended for girls.
    • Blink and you'll miss it, but him raising his hand when Ms. Norbury asks who there has ever been called a slut.
    • The rather dowdy teacher also raising her hand, too.
    • And Karen quickly shooting her hand into the air with a gleeful smile on her face.
  • "We should totally just STAB CAESAR!"
    • Although it's in Valley Girl speak, the preceding thirty seconds is almost a perfect paraphrasing of the "he doth bestride us like a Colossus" speech from Shakespeare's play, which is the point of the exercise. Gretchen just gets very deep into her rendition.
  • The infamous hallway brawl. Especially when Duvall sets off the sprinkler and a girl yells "Oh, Crap!, my HAIR!"
  • In a deleted scene
    Cady: Then she said it. The worse thing you can possibly say.
    Mrs Norbury: (in Cady's head) YOUR PARENTS WERE EATEN BY CANNIBALS!
  • In another deleted scene
    Regina: Stop making this all about you, I was the one who was hit by the bus!
  • During the hallway brawl.
    Boy: Mom? Can you pick me up? I'm scared!
  • During the Jingle Bell Rock performance, Regina's mother gets out the video camera...and gets up out of her seat to dance along in the aisle. And nobody pays attention to her. She even takes a little bow at the end!
  • The original version of the scene where Cady takes flowers to Regina. In front of the congregation, Regina's mother says she has lost so much weight since the injury the doctor has recommended - you guess it - Kalteen Bars. Regina screams an unearthly Big NO. The congregation flee at the sound of the noise. Cady is met by a stampede of people at the front door and, unable to get inside, throws the bouquet of flowers in the door as she gets swept away by the crowd.
  • This bit, when Regina is "crying" over how mean the Burn Book is.
    Duvall: Good Lord... What's that say? "Caitlyn Carson is a...?"
    Regina: (completely calm) Fat whore.
    Duvall: (gives Regina a quizzical look)
    Regina: (goes back to crying)
  • Principal Duvall: "Aw, hell no, I did not leave the south side for this!"
  • Karen's portion of the montage where the girls prepare for Spring Fling: She's seen putting stick-on rhinestones on her chest in the shape of a K, apparently the final step in her getting ready. Then the camera pans out to reveal that we've been seeing her in the mirror, and thus she had actually just put the K on backwards.
  • The scene where Janis yells at Cady is mostly depressing, but Damien yelling, "And I want my pink shirt back!" as they drive off is worth a chuckle.
  • "Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Regina George." Cue everyone raising their hands. Even the faculty.
  • Kevin Gnapoor's business card:
    Math Enthusiast / Bad-Ass M.C.
    • Plus, his rap song:
    Yo Yo Yo!
    Aaaaaall youuuuu suckah emcee's ain't got nothin' on me!
    On my grades, on my lines, you can't touch Kevin G!
    I'm a Mathlete, so nerd is inferred.
    But forget what you heard,
    I'm like James Bond the Third.
    Sh-Sh-Shaken, not stirred. I'm Kevin Gnapoor.
    The G is silent when I sneak in your door,
    And make love to your woman on the bathroom floor.
    I don't play it like Shaggy. You'll know it was me.
    Cuz the next time you see her she be like "Ohhh! Kevin GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!"
    Random Teacher: Alright Kevin, that's enough!
    • Considering the hit rap songs of today, though, he's actually a really good rapper and this isn't a bad song. Shame it got cut short.
  • After Regina gets hit by the bus, with Cady gaping in horror:
    Cady [narrating]: And that's how Regina George died. [pause] Just kidding.
  • During the hallway brawl, after the allegations about Coach Carr in the Burn Book, Mr. Duvall firmly tells him "Coach Carr, step away from the underage girls." He flees from the school immediately afterwards.