open/close all folders
- Anytime Angel reads someone's mind, and then proceeds to spout off their embarrassing thoughts.
- Anytime Gazzy lets off one of his notorious farts. Especially Max's reactions to said notorious farts.
- Nudge's endless motormouth.
- The three oldest flock members.
- Anything Total says or does.
- Max's occasional use of Buffy Speak, as if to remind us that she is in fact a teenager. Or her more unique minced oaths, such as "Holy mud" or "You are in deep sneakers."
- When any of the flock (more often than not Max or Fang) tries to drive.
Max: Even Fang had winced at that last gear-grinding.
The Angel Experiment
- Max, upon seeing Ella being harassed by gang members:
Don't even get me started on the whole Y chromosome thing. I live with three guys, remember? They're three of the good ones, and they're still obnoxious as all get out.
- Ari getting sprayed with green paint by Nudge. Even better when, next time he appears, it still hasn't come off.
- Max's reaction to her first bite of fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies. And her fetish-y drive to look for another cookie that's anywhere near as delicious.
- The fast-food restaurant in the desert.
Clerk: Feeding a crowd?Fang: Yes ma'am.Max: (thinking) Yeah, him and all his split personalities.
Max: They looked like starving orphan children. Hey! They were starving orphan children.
- And, of course, when the flock is scarfing down hot delicious fast food:
- The entire scene at the Garden Tavern. Full. Freaking. Stop.
- "I shot him the bird. Get it? I shot him the - Never mind."
- This little argument when the flock is getting made over:
Gazzy: I still wish you'd let me get "Bite Me" shaved into the back of my head.Max: No.Gazzy: Iggy got his ear pierced.Max: Nein.Gazzy: (imitating the stylist) But everyone does it!Max: O-nay.
- The schizo hacker fleeing Max and company in fright (the second time).
Fang: I can't take you anywhere.Max: (narrating) I so wish he weren't all banged up - so I could whack him.
- Angel getting to keep Total, and Fang's reasoning to Max:
She made Bambi eyes at me. You know I can't resist it when she does Bambi eyes.
School's Out - Forever
- The flock's encounter with the FBI at the hospital.
- Max forgetting that Fang is going by the fake name of Nick.
Iggy: So, Fnick, can I change the channel? There's a game on.Fang: Make yourself at home, Figgy.
- The reactions to Gazzy's suggestion that the girls take the extra bed.
Max: Excuse me, sexist piglet?Nudge: Yeah. Like, I'm too much of a cream puff to sleep on the floor?
- Total can talk!
Total: Yeah. So? It's not like I lied about it. Between you and me, I'm still trying to get used to the whole flying-kid thing.
- Total getting coffee served in his doggie dish.
- The angry, Large Ham known as Headmaster Pruitt.
- And Gazzy's imitation of Pruitt on the way home from school.
- "If you're ever feeling a lack of middle-aged white men, just pop into the Capitol."
- Sam's description of "hell dinner" to Max.
Mom will try to keep Aunt Phyllis away from the liquor, but it won't work.
- Disney World.
- The patchwork Toyota Echo.
- Clone!Max's first encounter with the flock. She's very shocked that Original!Max doesn't do the cooking.
Max: Did you know that wasn't me, the other Max?
- Even funnier is that this is how the flock realized she was a fake.
Fang: Right away.
Max: How? We look identical. She even had identical scars and scratches. She was wearing my clothes. How could you tell us apart?
Fang: She offered to cook breakfast.
Saving The World And Other Extreme Sports
- Gazzy singing a "Weird Al" Yankovic song exactly like the original. And when you find out what the song is about...
Nudge: Enough with the constipation song.
- Total making a little suggestion: "Let's lift some cards. We could play Texas Hold 'Em. I would kick your butts."
- Which makes Angel wonder how Total could play cards when he has no fingers or thumbs. Unless...?
- Max's dopey profession of love to Fang while under the influence of Valium. This, along with the final result of Max's chip-removing microsurgery leads to a truly epic Mood Whiplash and Humiliation Conga combination attack.
Max: My shriek of appalled rage could have been heard in California, or maybe Hawaii.
- And, later, when Fang delivers an Ironic Echo:
- Roland ter Borcht. Perhaps the biggest source of Narm in the entire series. Seriously, just read his lines out loud in your best Arnold Schwarzenegger accent. You. Will. Die. ROF Ling.
- Turned up to twenty-four when Gazzy imitates his voice: "I vill now eat nine Snickers bahrs, visout bahfing."
- An Itex underling comes to take away Iggy and Gazzy for extra tests during the whole Mind Screw incarceration period. Thirteen words: "Now, skedaddle on out of here, before we turn you into a doorstop."
- Fang really doesn't want to have an Enemy Mine with Ari...
Fang: Choose now. Me or him.
- Nudge: "I wanna go see the Eiffel Towel!"
- Max decides to save the girls and Ari a little energy by having them fly to England...on a plane.
- Since "they're all guys here," Fang complies with Iggy's request to describe the hot beach bunnies, knowing that were Max there they'd get slammed for being sexist pigs.
- The responses from kids visiting Fang's blog. Grammar optional.
- When Nudge wants to see the "Loovra," Max refuses, saying "There isn't enough Valium in the world to get me in there."
- Max and company spot the infamous Max II, as well as Nudge II and Angel II!
- And Total is so offended that he didn't get a clone.
- Nudge points out that there shouldn't be prisons in the new "perfect world."
- Fang's Ironic Echo to the Flyboys: "I am one of many! I am one of many! You have no idea!" Also doubles as a Crowning Moment of Awesome.
- And, in the end, the boys request souvenirs from Europe...
Iggy: Yeah! Like, a French girl!Max: Can we say "sexist pig one more time?
The Final Warning
- Jeb's face when Nudge is discovering her new magnetic ability "looked the way it did on the day he found the frogs in the toilet."
- The flock meeting Congress for the first time. That is all.
- Total: "I got bathed!"
- Reason #52 why Gazzy isn't the flock leader: he dive-bombed the Pentagon.
Max: No, Gazzy, don't! It's a government building! They're even more paranoid than we are!
- Three chapters in a row featuring the Uber-Director are headed Subterranean, Subterranean, Terranean.
- "Frankly, 'research vessel' seemed like a twenty-five-cent name for a ten-cent boat."
- Max feeling jealous of the attention Dr. Brigid Dwyer is paying to Fang.
- Iggy learning he can see whiteness.
Fang: Made Max wish she'd brushed her hair sometime in the last mouth.
- Total unexpectedly growing wings.
- "Angel? Baby penguins eat a regurgitated mixture of partially digested fish, krill, and an oily substance from their fathers' stomachs. Do you want to barf up a mixture of raw fish and krill into a baby penguin's cute, cheeping mouth? Like, every hour?"
- "Sometimes my cold logic astounds even me."
- "Fangalator - U r the coolest. I want a tat of your wings on my back. Like, life size."
- "Unless your back is fourteen feet across, you are out of luck, my friend."
- "Fang. Just - Fang."
- Gozen speaking to the flock for the first time: "We are against global warming. Therefore we are violently opposed to your kind.
- The Uber-Director's attempt to conduct the auction failing miserably. What should be a source of world-class Squick ends up being yet another source of world-class Narm instead. But it's so freaking hilarious...
Max: Uh, you okay, UD? Is it okay if I call you UD? (to Gozen) Is he okay? Does he need a feed bag hooked up or something?
- Especially (and do I mean ESPECIALLY) Gazzy's nuclear fartage.
- The meeting with the Hollywood agents. Full stop.
- "The color of my eyes is like barfed-up chocolate?"
- "...Not in a box, not with a fox! No go to sleep, before I kill you!"
- Dr. Martinez teaching Max to make a Mexican dish. The flock, knowing Max is not known for five-star cooking, considers ordering a pizza.
- The fact that Max is unable to fly at this point in the novel also causes her Berserk Button to be pushed a lot more easily.
- Max's romantically-induced brain fart:
This is my brain: O This is my brain after making out with Fang: • It's very sad.
- "Max-HIH-mum Ride."
Max: I-AM a dumb-bot!
- Max can't spell "doppelganger," so she tries several times, each time getting it hilariously wrong and crossing it out before settling for "look-alike."
- The flock's first encounter with the Navy. Must be seen to be believed.
- And, especially, the whole "BS" testing they have to go through. It should take several days at least, but the flock smashes all records and completes it in only one. And there are several chapters full of all the hilarious results.
- After Gazzy got stung by a man-o-war, Iggy "offered to pee on him, but they said no."
- Max's reasons why boarding a sub is not a good thing:
1. The flock are just about the most claustrophobic life-forms you would ever meet; and 2. We would be trapped in a small, relatively confined space ''with the Gasman''.
- The admittedly non-religious Max being forced to ride in a little submersible...with Gazzy, making her pray "to every deity [she] could think of" for Gazzy not to let rip.
- "Yes, the Gaz-Ig-Nart technique seems to be neutralizing the enemy."
- The Krelp melting Mr. Chu's undersea dome with their body snot.
- Gazzy is disappointed that he can't create snot bubbles that big.
- The Voice: "Beware of Mr. Chu. And maybe Brigid."
- Just like "doppelganger" in the previous book, Max can't get Dr. Gunther-Hagen's name right. Ever. Examples include "Dr. Gub-Hub," "Dr. Hunka-Munka," and (in reference to his suit) "Dr. Seersucker."
- Max's insistence on homeschooling the flock. Results alternate between hilarious and melancholy.
- Max and Fang in Vegas. Especially given how long it takes others to realize they're underage.
- Angel turning up the mind-reading/mind-controlling on the Hollywood agents. We get the literary equivalent of a Gilligan Cut for extra laughter.
- Max's remark on the fact that Jeb is wearing a hospital gown after being shot. Yes, it's the kind with the peekaboo behind.
- And finally, some of the unpublished blog entries and the crazy fan questions ("Do you smoke apples?") that follow up the epilogue. At least we get some giggles, which is a welcome relief considering the unexpected and extremely sad ending.
- Max: My obituary would read "killed by love." If I'd died, that is, and if I'd had such a smarmy obit. Which, please, spare me, I beg you.
- Yet another instance of Dylan provoking a total Squee! bomb by making a public appearance with the rest of the flock.
- Fang's Gang. Especially the interactions between Ratchet and the girls. Especially-especially Ratchet and Kate.
- When Fang's Gang has a Cheese Whiz fight. "the gang burst through the door, howling and armed with… Cheez Whiz."
- Max yelling at Dylan to get ready for school...only to point out Max is still in her pajamas.
- It speaks volumes that, less than twenty pages into the final book, this is the last truly funny moment in the entire series. Goes to show how dark and dangerous the apocalypse truly is.
- The series gets occasional references in other James Patterson YA works. Especially Witch and Wizard, where a fleeting joke about kids with wings is made in the first book.
- The second book, The Gift, includes a Max Ride reference in the list of banned books, one of which is called "Ultimate Armstrong" and is said to have the same plot. Especially funny if you remember how Max claimed in Book 1 to have chosen her last name from the astronaut Sally Ride.
- Is it coincidence that W&W's Sasha is pretty much an Expy of Fang? I don't think so.