Funny / Martha Speaks

  • This exchange in "Martha Spins a Tale":
    Helen: You guys are so irritating!
    Martha: Does irritating mean fun!?
  • This gem from "Martha in Charge", when Helen got Laryngitis:
    Helen's Mom: I hope Helen recuperates.
    Martha: She shouldn't do that! She should get better!
    Helen's Mom: That's what recuperates means.
    Martha: Really? But that sounds like a bad thing! Like "Don't come in, I just recuperated all over the floor..."
    • Heck, the entire episode was hilarious, Home Alone-style.
    • An especially funny part is when Martha phones a psychologist, who thinks Martha is under a delusion that she's a dog.
  • In "Carolina's Gifted," Carolina has a gift certificate that she says she's "squirrelled away" for nearly a year. Martha spends most of the rest of the story desperately trying to find out where the squirrel is. Also, later on, she's asked what she would "splurge on," if she could. She gets very upset, saying that she doesn't splurge on anything: she's housebroken. She becomes disappointed to learn there's no real squirrel.
    • Similarly in "Martha Camps Out", Martha keeps asking "Who's Big Minnie!?".
  • In "Martha Gives Advice", Carolina faints, not because she discovered Martha can talk, but because she's been listening to her advice, which includes dressing up like Helen.
    • Also, the part where Martha starts giving advice that should only apply to dogs...and it also works for humans!
    • Carolina "defending" Helen over how she dressed when really it sounds like an insult.
  • In Oh No, Helen says that if the alphabet soup business closed down, Martha would be in the doghouse. Martha takes it literally.
    • And when Martha's trying to speak in 'o's and Helen gives her a biscuit. Martha says "That's not what I was trying to say, but if you're offering biscuits, I won't turn them down."
    • And when Martha hears that Granny Flo's soup is taking a licking, she says, "Of course it's being licked"
  • In "Wagstaff Races", TD and Alice's kart gets sent off by the wind and off to sea.
  • In "Martha in the Doghouse", TD used his belt to hold something up, but it collapsed and his pants fell.
  • In "The Missing Metal Mystery", TD believes HE stole his own trophy and the metals from the junkyard. He spends the entire episode trying to prove he's guilty.
  • Martha's Blue Period was a bit of a Tear Jerker but had its moments.
    • In the Imagine Spot that has Martha crying she says "All this crying makes it look like I had an accident on the rug"
    • When T.D. comes over and asks "Are you feeling blue?", Martha replies "Nope, still yellow."
    • T.D. meant to text "Martha is eating something inside the sofa." Instead, he texts "Martha is eating the sofa". This leads Helen to have an Imagine Spot of Martha eating the whole house. She phones Truman and asks "Is the house still there?". He says yes, but then sees T.D. dressed as a pirate and Martha and Skits tugging at his boots and says "It's being invaded by pirates. The dogs are fighting them off.", leading to another Imagine Spot.
    • Martha on being called "morose".
      Martha: "Sorry that I'm more ose, I'd be less ose if I knew what ose meant."
    • More Literal-Minded Martha humor.
      Danny: "Why the long face?"
      Martha: "I'm a dog"
  • In "Truman On the Ball", TD picks up a book at the library, and spends the rest of the episode commenting on how "I don't think I should have read this book at my age" and making jokes about the plot. The book? Moby-Dick.
  • In "Dogs in Space", TD wears a jetpack but it flies off into the sky, as he forgot to buckle up. Helen tried to tell him that.
  • In "Alice Covers Up", TD gives Alice lemons to wipe off the orange dye. They don't work, but TD said she smells zesty. Alice throws a lemon at his head.
    • TD has an idea of getting dog-vision sunglasses for everyone at the pool party to wear so Alice wouldn't be embarrassed.
      Helen: Do those sort of glasses even exist?
      TD: No. But it would be nice if they did.
      [Alice slams her head on the table.]
  • Helen gets tired of Martha and Skits bickering over the flying squirrel toy in "Dog Fight" so she makes them watch a video about sharing that parodies Sesame Street. The dogs seem to get the moral when Helen asks them. Later, TD and Alice were still arguing about Martha and Skits' fight so they ended up getting the same treatment. Unlike the dogs, their response started with this:
    Helen: What did you guys learn?
    Alice: I learned that boy puppets are more selfish than girl puppets.
  • In "Perfectly Martha", Martha was watching a demonstration of a "perfect dog":
    Otis: You see, now he's perfect.
    Martha: That's not perfect, that's terrible!
    Otis: Who said that?!
    Dr. Paplum: Otis, calm down.
    Otis: I will NOT calm down!
    (the crowd is perplexed at his sudden outburst)
    Otis: I mean, how can I calm down when I am so excited to train. And by train, I mean, teach your imperfect dogs to be perfect.
    Martha: What is he talking about? Dogs are already perfect.
    Otis: Alright! Who said that? (confronts a random woman) Was it you?
    Lady: I think it was the dog. (points at Martha, who just stands there)
    Otis: "I think it was the dog." (threateningly) I'm onto you, lady.

    Otis: That's the same dog from this morning. Did that woman put you up to this?
  • In "Martha Sings", Helen's dad is obsessed with Martha's singing.
  • In the first episode, Martha kept talking and talking, until she starts saying "blah blah blah...".
    • This dialogue:
    Helen: It's great that she's speaking. But there's speaking, and there's speaking, and speaking.
    TD: Helen.
    Helen: It's great that she can communicate. But does she have to communicate so much? It's like she wants to discuss and discuss and discuss.
    TD: Helen!
    Helen: And it's not even a discussion. Cause when you discuss, the other person gets to express her opinion too, you know what I'm saying?
    TD: I think you—
    Helen: It's like she's giving a lecture. Doesn't she know how annoying it is? (we pan out to see their teacher Mrs. Clusky standing besides Helen) Just hear someone jabbering on and on and— (Helen sees Mrs. Clusky with her hands on her hips glaring at her) Oops.
    TD: Class started five minutes ago.
    (Helen lowers herself in her seat in embarrassment.)
  • In "Martha's No Dummy", Helen's dad laughs loudly at T.D. and Martha's knock-knock jokes. Helen's mom is embarrassed.
  • In "Martha's Dirty Habit", all the dogs in the neighbourhood chase after Martha for getting them in trouble for digging up their owners' front lawns.
    • During the chase, one dog walks up to Martha's bowl, eats from there, and walks away in a dignified manner.
  • In "Skits Behaves", T.D. tries to show who's boss by making eye-contact with Skits. After 10 seconds of glaring at each other, T.D. gives Skits his other half of the sandwich.
    TD: I wasn't hungry anyway.
  • In "Camp Truman", Truman tries to get Milo to see how awful camping would be, so Milo wouldn't find out the camp he wanted to go to has been closed.
    • Truman forcing Milo, Truman and Helen to wash dishes, but Truman and Milo were having fun with the soap bubbles.
    Truman: Alright, kitchen patrol is over!
    TD: Aww, but my fingers were just starting to get wrinkly.
    • While swimming:
    TD: I got this great new comic book.
    Truman: (blows whistle) No talking about comic books!
    Milo: This is really nice. Just hanging out and relaxing.
    (Truman blows whistle again)
    Helen: Alright Truman, this is gone far enough!
    Truman: (*whistle*) No standing up and saying "This is gone far enough!"
    (Helen groans)
    • After finding out Camp Winneka is opening at a new place (Truman made the page talking about that into a pirate hat):
    (Helen, Martha, and TD glare at Truman)
    Truman: Well, we can all learn something today.
  • In "Never Forget to Remember", after Skits remembered where the ball was:
    T.D.: If only we were as smart as Skits.
    Martha: That sounds so wrong.
  • In "T.D.'s Myth Take", Martha (as Medusa) decides to go to the palace party. She asked "who's with me?", the snakes nod in agreement, except for one who shakes its head, which Martha frowns on.
  • In the show there are a few times when a word is defined, however this is justified as the characters are kids and a dog and would therefore not know the meanings of some of the larger words. However, in the movie they are watching in "Martha's Pickle", a grown woman is asking for the meanings of synonyms for "weird", which most native English speakers her age should know (such as 'unusual', 'odd', and 'bizzarre').
    Truman: "What's really strange is how this movie keeps defining things."
  • In one episode, Martha wins a competition and has to stay at the hotel with the rest of the Lorraines except Skits. Trouble is, pets aren't allowed, so Martha is dressed up in a wheelchair as Helen's grandma. This leads to three funny moments. The first is when an old man refers to himself as an "old sea-dog" and Martha says "really? What breed?". The second is when Martha is seen sleeping next to her wheelchair, dress, hat, and boots and also near her are some bones because she'd eaten some meat. The janitor thinks a mad dog has eaten Martha. And later, when everyone is in the lobby, hiding from the alleged "mad" dog Martha, she says something and a little boys says "Hey, cool, the mad dog talks!".
  • In "Martha, Blah Blah", half the alphabet is subtracted from the soup, meaning Martha can only say the remaining letters. This leads "I want a burger" to sound like "I ug" and "Hello, Grandma Lucille, how's it going?" to sound like "H o g! u ow go g!", which sounds to the family like "you hog!".
    • And there's also this:
      Danny: "Martha's speech is becoming diminished!"
      Helen: "Diminished? Is that another language? I thought Martha only spoke English and Dog."
  • Hilarity Ensues in "Martha Gets Spooked", because an old couple have recently moved into a spooky old house that used to belong to the woman's great-aunt Martha, who died and when Martha delivers flowers to them, she says "It's me, Martha."
    • Which leads to this
      Martha: "Can you please let me out? I'd do it myself, but I don't have thumbs"
      Mrs Parkington: "I didn't know ghosts didn't have thumbs!"
  • This show has a habit of defining words. Most of the time, it's a logical time to define words (seeing as how the main characters are children and animals), but when someone or something defines a word and the other person actually knows, then Hilarity Ensues. Take this scene from "Secret Agent Dog".
    Computer: "Initiating self-destruct sequence. Are you sure you want to self-destruct? "Self destruct" means something destroys itself so nothing will be saved. Are you sure you want to do it? Press 'yes' or 'cancel'."
    Man: "Yes. And I know what it means."
    Computer': "Okay, then. Self-destruct in ten seconds, but don't say I didn't warn you."
  • Martha's daydream in "Secret Agent Dog". She's daydreaming about being a spy and gets given a drink of toilet water. She says the line "Shaken, not stirred", and then notes she didn't order a drink and throws it away. She orders another one, but this time hold the poison.
  • In "Itchy Martha"
    Danny: "Mind if you scratch somewhere else?"
    Martha: "That won't work. It's my ear that's itchy."
  • The hotel's name is funny: The Come On Inn.
  • Alice's leotard, which reads "Careful-I make wide turns".
  • In "Martha Fails the Course"
    Alice: "Why is Martha not moving?"
    Helen: "Because she fell down and was made fun of"
    Alice: "If I stopped moving due to falling down, I would have stopped moving since I could walk. Once, I even fell down while standing still in an empty room."