Funny / MARDEK

Multiple Chapters:

  • Practically everything the Governance de Magi says while staging its council meetings. Especially Melchior's lines. In particular:
    (The Governance de Magi is asking for volunteers to go after Rohoph)
    Melchior: I'd go, but I need to wash my hair.
    Gaspar: YOU DON'T FOOLIN' WELL HAVE ANY PRUNIN' HAIR, YOU LAGABOUTIN' SPOUTIN' POUTIN' TROUT!
    Melchior: So it will take a very long time to wash it. You see, mathematically, since I have no hair, and dividing by zero results in infinity, it shall take an infinite amount of time to wash my hair.

Chapter 2:

Mardek: Well, I'd only kill a guy if he killed me first!

Chapter 3:

(Gaspar is talking about how he will kill Mardek's party before they level up enough to pose a threat)
Melchior: But what if they all use their soul transfer thingy-majigs?
Balthazar: I keep telling you: humans cannot do that, myes. They are weak and pathetic and they can't even perceive psychic energy waves or electromagnetic radiation.
Melchior: You have to believe, Balthy. You have to believe.
  • Take Vehrn and Elywen into the Dark Temple. Talk to Elywen. Do the same, but with Elwyen and Solaar. Laughter will ensue.
  • The Warport security is full of these. Answer a question wrong and the security person turns into a giant demon and kills you almost instantly. The best part is that they will call you a terrorist and then kill you if, for example, you say that the color blue is ugly, that you don't have enough legs, or that you don't find them attractive.