- Kratos objects to being held up as an example of a Kavorka Man: "Stop using me as an example." "Stop BEING an example."
- Pretty much every comic with Kratos is a funny moment.
Kratos: (ramming a poor sap's head into a TV screen) LOOK AT THE 1080p HDMI CONNECTION! LOOK AT IT!!!
Press O to Show Off the Better Features of This Product.
- Syndrome points out people being mainstream: "HIIIIIPSTERRRRRR"
- This guest strip. Mood Whiplash has never been so adorable.
- Duke Nukem is confused by accusations of the Double Standard until the Commander has Fenix dressed in the same clothing the 'babes' wear: "Yeah, I can see people complaining about this." "I'm complaining about this."
- Jared wanting to get back to his parents because they have his Xbox. The visual reference to Xbox Kid is just the icing on the cake.
- Jared chose a Magikarp as his starter Pokemon. He levels it up...by using it as a bludgeon, eventually defeating enough 'mons to make Magikarp evolve into Gyarados.
I'M THE KING OF EVERYTHING!
- Sesshomaru claims thousands of pages of fan art prove that bishonen are more popular with women than manly men are:
Commander: Does it embarrass you at all that you just measured yer success with women by how much gay porn they've made outta you an' your brother?
- Kratos and Leonidas in IKEA, arguing over tea lights.
Leonidas: WHY ARE YOU BUYING TEA LIGHTS? YOU HAVE SO MANY TEA LIGHTS! PUT THOSE BACK, YOU DON'T NEED ANY MORE.
Kratos: THESE ARE POMEGRANATE SCENTED! WE ONLY HAVE BLUEBERRY! YOU KNOW I HATE BLUEBERRY CANDLES!
- Followed by the Commander's advice to Jared on the matter:
- Third panel, with Solid Snake. Picture David Hayter saying it in the Snake-voice.
- At one point the Commander holds a Zombie Drill and insists on a certain level of... realism. Everyone's reaction to the rules, especially, Cody's, is hilarous.
- Ganon explains that he needs no excuse to mess with link: "When it is NOT FUN to mess with Link?"
- Nier's "fantasy germs" (and Mr. Fish's horrified expression).
- A few updates later, they show the aftermath of Nier's infection of the entire building. Everyone seems extremely angered by their transformation into Bishounen pretty boys...except Marv, who with his crippling self-esteem issues, thinks it's the best thing that's ever happened to him. It helps he looks like a young Marlon Brando due to it.
- In one strip, Mr. Fish's moveset is shown (when he has to forget an old trick to learn Hyper Beam).
- And he still remembers "roll over".
- When learning Hyper Beam, Mr. Fish's accompanying facial expressions are pretty funny also.
- The commander's description of God of War somehow becomes... the big scene in Carrie:
Kratos: That's not how it went...Commander: That's pretty much exactly how it went.
- The Commander defies The Goggles Do Nothing in a horrible new way: "I don't think that's how Moon Tiara Magic works."
- "Why won't you just stay down?!"◊
- One of the very first strips has an unusual crowning moment of bad employment placement, when a Big Daddy is put in charge of a day care center. Gentle, caring, loving... until the parents come to pick up their kids.
- The end of the Nomura Syndrome arc: The infected give all their blood to Canada Guy so he can have it treated at a Canadian hospital. He achieves this by smuggling it all in his veins. At once. The resultant exchanges and sight gags are utterly priceless.
- Jared learns the hard way which two words you don't confuse.
- The Commander promises Jonesy a mammoth steak, and later delivers. Why didn't he turn the mammoth over to science instead? "Science can catch their own damn mammoth."◊
- When all you have is a hammer...
- One strip details the marital strife that slowly led up to the Commander's divorce.
Commander: Whadda ya mean "don't fight Canadian guy to the death on the front lawn"? Why else would I invite Canadian guy over?
Canadian Guy: (just kind of looks at Commander)
- A behind-the-scenes look at the problem Sailor Moon villains have with coming up with evil plans: "You know what? Screw it, I'm just gonna stage a "Best Moon Princess" contest..."
- Random thoughts◊, with Jared.
- So...ice cream cake?
- Kenshiro working at a burger joint.
- As noted by the comments, the page becomes even more (darkly) hilarious if read right-to-left.
- The Commander explains that he has a weak point: a strong dislike of millipedes, ever since his squad had to stay on Millipede Planet during millipede season. Though it may count as nightmare fuel to some.
Ace: I'm not going to pretend I was expecting that but I mean really dude what good did you think was going to come from standing under it.
- There's something funny about a husky badass man cowering in fear from a millipede.
- Jared is inexplicably overjoyed to discover 'The Fattest Pigeon.'
- The Commander's wrecked from doing Jaeger Bombs all night. No, it's not alcohol and Red Bull.
- Sten getting addicted to Cookie Clicker.
- "Pokeball, go!"
- Uh... Best you don't talk to him...
- Jared, the resident Cloudcuckoolander being the Only Sane Man among the Pokemon Professors.
- The absence of Commander Badass has created a temporary alternate present where everyone follows cult leader Jared. As Bird Jesus.
Bird Jesus!Jared: PRAISE HELIX!
- It gets better. Kratos is the False Prophet.
- "Well if that ain't just the least historically accurate thing I ever did see."
- Commander Badass prefers free-range fire. Not because he's not a Pyro Maniac, but because he can glare a chemical reaction into obedience.
- "That is a MEDICAL CONDITION thank you very much!"
- The Warden's reaction to Iron Bull.
- "Cyndi Lauper is banned by the Qun."
- Sometimes they just do that fer 20 solid minutes. I got no idea why.
- "He healed around them and now they're stuck."
- "You are a DUDE growing out of an ELEPHANT."
- Evidently, Ganondorf's trolling isn't limited to just Link.
Ganondorf: Look in my defense I'm from the desert, I had no idea it worked that fast.
- All Raiden wanted to do was register his son's Nintendo
- Raiden and the Commander have a friendly chat over the former's "lovingly feathered hair".
Raiden: Believe me, if they amputated your entire body from the molars down and this was all you had going for you, you'd make the time to pretty the hell out of your hair.
Commander: I can respect that.
- Cherry of the cake being the Commander's utter lack of arguing against said point.
Robocop: You are a very fortunate man, Jack.
- And then the last panel:
- Why backsassing about Terminator timetravel mechanics leads to the upper brass forcing you to wear Christmas onesies.
- In a flashback, which Cate explains how Commander is a goof when he doesn't need to be the boss, Angel is shown hugged between (hairy and topless) Commander and Jet for warmth, which weirds her out. Which leads to this glorious line:
Jonesy: Oh my god...Commander is Angel's fuzzy, 300lb. Jared.
- Ace hams it up as he manages to outwit Jet during the Survival Games.
Jet: Wh-what? How could you get them all in tiny bespoke tuxedos that fast?
Ace: I'M YOUR SHADOOOW!
- The Commander's grand entrance in strip 300.
Jones: Is that a Megalodon? Did you knit that sweater for it?
Commander: Correct on both counts, Jones.
- Miles Edgeworth's reaction to the news that Phoenix Wright's first case after getting his badge back is to defend an orca.
Edgeworth: Of course he is! Of course Phoenix Wright is using this amazing opportunity I fought for to represent an orca!
- Jared spotting for the commander.
Jared Second question, not really related, why am I spotting you? What do you think I'm going to do if you drop this?Commander I figure yer th' most likely t' actually get help instead'a take photos on yer phone an' laugh.
- "This is almost completely without exaggeration the plot of Hyrule Warriors."
- Cable can't find his car keys.
- Jared playing Pokemon Go.
- Wot am I doin', that ain't me spray!
- Commander pokes a hole in Team Skullís logic on how heís gonna move them off his porch without pokemon.
- "Well t'be fair, it ain't exactly like you know what it's like t' lose yer left arm."
- Jonesy's realizing that the Commander has enough eccentric hobbies to be a Chippendale dancer.