Funny / Malazan Book of the Fallen

Deadhouse Gates

  • When Felisin asks Gesler when he had sex the last time, Stormy chimes in to happily recount the evening he dressed up as a Kanese harlot and seduced Gesler:
    Stormy: I had him fooled for hours.

House of Chains

  • This piece of dialogue in House of Chains, when Torvald and Karsa meet Keeper:
    Keeper: Splitting one's head open with a single blow? With a wooden sword? In deep water? And what's that other one? Catfish big enough to swallow a man whole? Hah, a good one.
    Torvald: (stares at Keeper) Both true. As true as a flooded world and a ship with headless Tiste Andii at the oars!
    Keeper: Well, I believe all that, Torvald. But the shark and the catfish? Do you take me for a fool?

Reaper's Gale

  • Hood's and Shadowthrone's mutual hate of advocates and what they, even as gods, can or cannot do about them:
    Hood: You two are worse than advocates. And you don't want to know what I do with the souls of advocates.
    Menandore: Shadowthrone, what are advocates?
    Shadowthrone: A profession devoted to the subversion of laws for profit. When I was Emperor, I considered butchering them all.
    Menandore: So why didn't you?
    Shadowthrone: The Royal Advocate said it'd be a terrible mistake.

Toll the Hounds

  • In the Dramatis Personae section, Barathol Mekhar is described as "a tourist"
    • And Lady Envy as "a bystander".
    • Also, Mogora is described as 'Iskaral's occasional wife'.
  • And during the finale the duel between Iskaral Pust and Kruppe:
    And here then, at last, arrives the shining, blazing, astonishing nexus, the penultimate pinnacle of this profound night, as bold Kruppe nudges his ferocious warmule into the path of one Iskaral Pust, mule, and sundry spiders and bhokarala.
    Mule sees mule. Both halt with a bare fifteen paces between them, ears at bristling attention.
    Rider sees rider. Magus grows dangerously still, eyes hooded. Kruppe waves one plump hand in greeting.
    Bhokarala launch a mid-air conference that results in one beast landing awkwardly on the cobbles to the left of the High Priest, whilst the others find window sills, projections, and the heads of handsome gargoyles on which to perch, chests heaving and tongues lolling.
    The spiders run away.
    Thus, the tableau is set.

Dust of Dreams

  • The gradually escalating series of pranks and get-backs between Captain Kindly and his atache (for a time) Lieutanant ( later Master-Sergeant) Pores are a source of endless entertainment for the reader as the series goes on. They are always presented as an aside to whatever drama is taking place in the main plot and serve as a way to remind the reader that that despite the Bonehunters being in whatever horrible situation, it is still an army with thousands of real people who have to do something with their time.

The Crippled God

  • Shadowthrone's rant in The Crippled God:
    Shadowthrone: Are you done with your moment of doubt? Good. It ill-suited you. Listen, she's a woman, and that alone makes her the most terrifying force in all the realms.
    Cotillion: Yes, I am well aware of your longstanding fear of the swaying sex.
    Shadowthrone: I blame my mother.
    Cotillion: Convenient.
    Shadowthrone: I don't know which of us dreads more our visits–-
    Cotillion: She’s still alive? Don't be ridiculous, Ammanas.
    Shadowthrone: Listen, I wasn't always this old, you know. In any case, every time we end up in the same room I can see the disappointment in her eyes, and hear it in her voice. "Emperor? Oh, that empire. So now you're a god? Oh dear, not Shadow? Isn't it broken? Why did you have to pick a broken realm to rule? When your father was your age-–" Aagh, and on and on it goes! I've been on the run since I was nine years old, and is it any wonder?