Funny: Madagascar

Madagascar

  • The penguins in general.
    • The penguins' CatchPhrases:
    • When SWAT bursts in Grand Central Station:
      Skipper: We've been ratted out, boys! (all four raise their flipper to surrender)
    • The penguins taking control of the freighter. It's pure awesomeness done by four small, flightless, waddling ninja-birds.
    • They reach Antarctica, a complete frozen wasteland:
      Private: Well, this sucks!
    • Alex thinks they have a few bolts loose:
      Alex: The penguins are psychotic!
      • They don't think too highly of him, either:
        Skipper: Where's that psychotic lion (...)
    • The Penguins are called psychotic even by the other characters. They seem aware of this...
      Gloria: Where are the people?
      Skipper: We killed 'em and ate their livers. (Beat while we see Gloria's look of horror. Skipper just grins) Gotcha, didn't I?
  • Marty shows off Alex his impressive zebra-made shed and he scowls.
    Alex: Shut up spaulding! pan to a basketball with a smiley face
    • While Alex's Lady Liberty signal beacon. Melman is rubbing two planks of wood strapped to his hooves
    Alex: How's the liberty fire goin' Melman?
    Melman: Great! Idiot....
    Alex: I heard that!
    • Immediatley followed by
      Melman: Ah!, Why can't we just borrow some of Marty's fire?
      Alex: That's wildfire! We're not using wildfire on Lady Liberty! NOW RUB!
      Melman (groans in frustration) I can't! I-been trying! I Ju—I CAN'T DO IT!
      (slams the planks down..and they suddenly ignite)
      Melman : Fire! Fire! (laughs...then notices the burning planks are still attached to his hooves) FIRE! AAH!
      (Panics and accidentally lights Alex's beacon on fire; then trips and the planks extinguish in the sand)
      Gloria: JUMP! Alex jump! [Alex does so] Don't worry! Cat's always land on their—
      [Alex lands flat on his face]
      Gloria: FACE?! Man, what kinda cat are you?
    • Then when Alex sees his burned down beacon!
    Alex: YOU MANIAC! YOU BURNED IT UP!! Darn you!!!!! Darn you all to HECK!
    Melman: Can we go to the fun side now?
    • He then tries to create the word "HELP" with bamboo poles, only the P falls apart, leaving the word "HELL"
  • King Julien XIII supplies nearly ALL the moments of funny. The Penguins supply most of the rest.
    • He uses a skeletal human arm as a sceptre. While he's waving it around during the argument on the crashed plane, it constantly makes the appropriate positions as if it were his own hand.
  • The scene with the spider.
    "Well, howdy-do?"
  • I hear Tom Wolfe's speaking at Lincoln Center. [Phil signs frantically] Well, of course we're going to throw poo at him!
    • "If you have poo, fling it now."
  • The animals wash up on the titular country and are reunited. As Alex and Marty are reunited, in slow motion, there's this exchange:
    Alex: Marty!
    Marty: Alex!
    Alex: Marty!
    Marty: Al!
    Alex: [grows angry] Marty!
    Marty: [grows concerned] Alex?
    Alex: [goes into full sprint, angry] MARTY!
    Marty: [Oh Crap! eyes, turns to run away] Oh, Sugar Honey Ice Tea!
    • Earlier, when Alex finds Melman, Melman is stuck in his crate, so Alex then grabs a log to use as a battering ram to get Melman out and tells him he's getting him out of the box, before he smiles maniacally and says, "Relax...Giraffe CORNER POCKET!''
    • Alex then stops inches from Melman's crotch when the giraffe points Gloria's crate to him.
    Melman: Oh hey. It is Gloria. [faints]
  • The palm tree scene. Alex makes an S.O.S. sign called "HELP" made from palm trees. A little bit later, the loop in the P drops down until the message is spelled "HELL."
  • This little exchange after Alex snaps:
    Marty: Excuse me... You're biting my butt!
    (beat)
    Alex: No, I'm not.
    • Maurice then states that it's proof that Alex is a predator. King Julien disagrees:
      Julian: What is a simple bite on the butt among friends? (offers his backside to Maurice) Come on, give me a nibble.
    • During the party, Marty says that Alex can sometimes be a "real pain in the butt - and believe me, I know!", and shoves his rear in the camera, showing a double band aid.
  • Alex introducing himself to Mort (from his perspective).
    Alex: Hi theeeeeEEEEEEERE.
  • In a bit of Gallows Humor, when Alex is attacking Marty with the intent of eating him, the Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom theme plays.
  • A bit of Mood Whiplash during the Sad Times Montage, Alex falls down a cliff, landing on uncomfortable objects during the fall. Suddenly, he lands on a field of flowers...and then he falls into a field of cacti. The fall finishes with him landing into a river...which promptly leads him to a waterfall.
    • Also when Marty, Gloria and Melman are trekking through the jungles, they see some pretty scary creatures. They suddenly come across a cute little duckling, and after seeing two other small critters eaten horribly, quickly grab it and rush it over to a pond. They sigh with relief knowing they saved the duckling...only for it to be eaten by a large crocodile a second later. All three are visibly traumatized.
  • When the animals are riding the subway, a frightened man is sitting next to Alex on the seat, hiding behind his newspaper. What he hears is an angry roar, what we hear is "Aw, Knicks lost again!".
    • Another instance of what humans hear is when Alex calls an operator and asks him to get him Missing Animals. The operator only hears roars on the other end. Then Alex realizes that they can't call the people and hangs up. After a second, he then breaks the pay phone and tosses it aside.
    • Alex's first fight with Nana. While everyone else is running in terror, Nana whacks him with her purse, kicks him in the crotch, and sprays his eyes with pepper spray, and flings him to the ground.
    Alex: "Lady! What is wrong with you?! (gets whacked again) Ow! Get a grip on yourself!
    Nana: You're a bad kitty!
    • Then when surrounded by the police and animal control Nana somehow walks right past the officers and kicks Alex in the crotch, before being promptly dragged away by the police.
    Alex: (highest pitched voice imaginable) Oh! Would you give a guy a break?!
  • Alex must have some really bad luck in the wild. First a tree branch smacks him in the face, and he holds his nose in pain. Then he stubs his right foot on a rock, and as he hops in pain, he hops right on a thorn patch! Then he gets tangled in a cobweb. Finally a coconut tree falls on him.
  • After the gang finds out they're in the wild, much to Alex, Melman, and Gloria's horror and Marty's delight
    Alex (calmly): Could you excuse me for a moment?
    —->Gilligan Cut to Alex sprinting back to the beach, sobbing hysterically, with Gloria close behind)
    Alex: GET ME OUTTA HERE! WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE! HELP! (leaps towards the sea, only to be stopped by Gloria)
    Gloria: What are you doing?!
    Alex: I'm swimming back to New York! I know my chances are slim! But I've gotta try!
    Gloria: But you can't swim!
    Alex: I said, "my chances are slim!"
    Melman (with a bound of vines and leaves around his head): AAAH! NATURE! IT'S ALL OVER ME! GET IT OFF! I can't see! I can't see!
    (Gloria steps on the vine Melman's dragging, and the bush on his head falls apart)
    Melman: I can see! (Shrieks and promptly buries his head in the sand)
    • Gloria's demeanor throughout the scene is as hilarious as it is adorable.
  • When Mort finally starts to try Julien's patience, we get this:
    Julien: (to Mort) OH SHUT UP YOU'RE SO ANNOYING!
    (Beat)
    Mort: (giggles sheepishly)

Escape 2 Africa

  • Marty shows off his fountain trick (which culminates in a Spit Take) to the herd. The herd, being practically clones of Marty, instantly learn the trick - and taken to its logical conclusion when thousands of them Spit Take at Marty. Cue tsunami.
  • King Julien is the first to suggest a volcanic sacrifice with a long and complicated argument with himself. Finally he finishes with:
    Julien: Quickly! Before we all come to our senses!
    • Other Julien lines include:
    Julien: (to Private, hanging from the light-fixture) You, in-flight slave... Bring me my nuts on a silver platter.
    Julien: If I, King Julien (that's my name), only had two days to live, I would do all the things I have ever dreamed of doing. I would love to become a professional whistler. I'm pretty amazing at it now, but I wanna get, like, even better. (Makes fart sounds, spits attempting to whistle) And you know what else I would do? I would invade a neighboring country and impose my own ideology on them, even if they didn't want it!
    • One has difficulty imagining anything Julien had ever dreamt of doing that he had not done.
    • When he is on the plane he's sitting on a skeleton's lap. Once again, the skeletal hand makes the same motions as his own.
  • The launch, flight and crash of the 'plane' is a twenty-minute long moment of funny. Possibly because the penguins feature heavily in it.
    "Pray to your personal god this hunk of junk flies."
    "Place the bag over your face to hide your terrified expression from the other passengers."
  • The entire "Pass it on" scene.
  • The fight between Alex and Nana (the old lady from the first movie). A remix of Ennio Morricone's score for The Good, the Bad and the Ugly is playing as they beat each other up with increasingly dirty moves.
    • Also, the No-Holds-Barred Beatdown Nana gives Makunga when she sees him with her tote. Just before that, there's Alex giving Makunga said tote. This is funnier if you imagine it in Alec Baldwin's manly, sinister voice.
    "Does the strap adjust? It does... yes I imagine this will be perfect for me when I'm out jogging."
  • When the Penguins steal the first jeep, they smash Nana through the windshield and leave her behind:
    Private: Is she dead?
    Skipper: No!
    (Kowalski promptly reverses straight into her)
  • Nana: "Ohh... that was beautiful... Now let's eat!"

Europe's Most Wanted

  • The Car Escape: between the Crazy-Prepared penguins and the Crazy Awesome DuBois, there's not a moment to breathe.
  • Everyone looks on in horror as their van falls off a building with King Julien still inside... and a hopeful smile creeps onto Maurice's face.
    • Becomes funnier as he comes back up with the penguins' chopper, and while Mort is delighted, Maurice's smile fades.
  • "Why can't we ever just make a normal landing?"
  • Vitaly comparing Alex to a lioness with a beehive.
  • Julien stealing the Pope's ring as an engagement ring for Sonya.
    • And then immediately selling it to a motorcycle dealer. Sonya roars out of the shop, riding a brand new silver Ducati... right before the police aim their guns at the hapless motorcycle dealer.
  • Skipper revealing he spent the last of their money on gold teeth so he can eat apples... only to find out that he doesn't really like them.
    • On a related note, when he wants to buy an airbus made of solid gold, Kowalski points out that such a plane would fall from the sky. Skipper's response? "We'll be rich, Kowalski! The laws of physics won't apply to us!"
  • During Alex's Rousing Speech to Vitaly, the two get in a tussle that inadvertently results in them batting around a ball of yarn.
  • Marty's "Afro Circus" song may be annoying, but it's so ridiculous it just builds the laughter out of you.
    Eric Darnell: We came in with this idea that Marty would hum that classic circus tune while he danced around with a big on his head. And Chris came up with this song that is just...amazing!
    (Cue a split screen of showing Chris Rock in the recording booth singing "Afro Circus").
    Darnell: And that's the kinda thing you'll only get by bringing someone like Chris Rock in.
  • As Alex and Gia practice his made-up trapeze act, she follows every move he makes, which includes flying face-first into a pole. And catching onto the platform with their teeth.
  • When Julien brings the news that the other Zoosters have been captured by DuBois, Gia wants to rescue them because "circus folk stick together". The horses remind them all that the Zoosters lied to them, that they aren't really circus folk and don't belong. Vitaly's response is a hilarious literal Getting Crap Past the Radar that is also heartwarming and awesome:
    Vitaly: That's Bolshevik!
  • There's just something about the Phil/Mason "King of Versailles" Totem Pole Trench getting a little too into the keyboards and keytar, like a cross between Elton John and the musical Amadeus.
    • The fact that the chimps used that kind of flamboyant getup for their disguise for no good reason.
  • DuBois arrives to take Alex. The penguins take care of her and her cronies in less than 20 seconds!
    Skipper: Incoming! (smacks DuBois in the face with a 100 kilo sack)
    (she falls in the fully charged cannon; they tie her up with they already knocked-out guys)
    Skipper: (as Rico lights a match) Outgoing!
    DuBois: Wait! (blam!)
  • The penguins after the Third-Act Misunderstanding, quietly creep away, pretending they didn't know the Zoosters weren't circus and had lied to them too.
  • Julien referring to Sonya as 'his hairy queen' was absolutely hilarious. As is most of his dialogue.
  • The scene where Julien, Maurice and Mort go into Sonya's train car and meet her for the first time. Cue creepy 'na na na' music in the voice of a child. The effect is reasonably creepy until the camera pans to Mort, showing that he was the one singing it.
  • This bit:
    DuBois: When in Rome...VIVE LA FRANCE!
    (steals a police motorcycle...which is chained to other motorbikes, dragging them along)
    • Then the officers pull the chain, causing Dubois to sail into a fountain with Julien and Sonya nearby. As the the oblivious lemur and bear leave, Dubois readies her tranquilizer gun at them, only to have a police cuff her wrist.
    Cop #1: You're in a big trouble— (Dubois shoots a dart at him, sending him to the ground)
    Cop #2: Now you're really in a big troub— (DuBois shoots him, sending him to the ground)
    Cop #3 Now you're really really in a big troub— (Dubois shoots him, sending him to the ground)
    Cop #4: I'm new! (DuBois trys to shoot him, but her gun is empty; she growls)
  • Also this:
    Skipper: I hope you know what you're doing. You're risking Private's community college fund.
    Private: (coloring a book) I'll never be president!
  • It's a fairly minor one but Alex and Marty argue over who should be the leader of their group early on in the film. This issue comes and goes up until they meet Vitaly for the first time and he threateningly demands to speak to their leader. Cue Marty using an exaggerated gesture to point to Alex as their leader. Alex's eye-roll is understandably funny.
  • "Initiate warp drive!"
  • The circus dogs. One particular moment:
    Alex: Circus is in here.
    (points to one dog's heart, and he looks inside his dress; another dog looks in there)
    Dog: How come Freddie gets all the circus?
    (Freddie punches other dog square in the face)
  • The Music Train scene has the penguins operating the train, which includes Kowalski jumping on Private who's holding up the bellows.
  • After the animals arrived at Europe through scuba diving, Melman says something behind his diving mask, which sounds like blabbering. But it turns out that he just had something to say. Same with Alex. Then Marty says some blabbering behind his diving mask, but when he takes it off, he really was blabbering!
  • The Penguins pillow fighting in the Monaco hotel
    Skipper: You pillow fight like a bunch of little girls!
    (Rico jumps from behind and hits Skipper with a pillow that went through him, sending feathers flying everywhere)
    Skipper [horrified]: Chimichanga! These pillows are filled with baby birds!
  • During the Rome disaster, One of the kids in the audience starts pelting an elephant with spitball, causing the elephant his balance. No prize for guessing where the kid ends up.
  • Near the end, when the Zoosters finally reach the Central Park Zoo gates, after the long Tear Jerker moment & a Rousing Speech from Alex, they get hit with DuBois' tranquilizers. Their reactions are hilarious!
    Alex: Feel my fur. It's so soft.
    Gloria: It is soft!
    Melman: Is my neck getting longer?
    Marty: I'm like a candy cane in a black-and-white movie!