- Machete jabbing a mook in the neck with a thermometer = not funny. Whole house explodes and mook is hurled outside burning = not funny. Thermometer still in mook's neck and going up till it's all red = funny.
- One of Booth's security guards, confronted for the second time by Machete wielding a weaponized weedwhacker, immediately says "I quit," hands his gun to Machete, and walks away. Possibly he is the smartest Mook in the history of fiction.
Clueless Mook: Hey, who are you?Machete (holding up a mean pick axe and weedwhacker): New gardener.
- This is after that Mook, alongside a more clueless Mook, allowed Machete to visit Booth's home earlier in the movie:
- Pretty much everything Cheech Marin says as Padre.
Padre: It's not safe for you to be here.Machete: I'm not looking for safe.Padre: No, I mean it's not safe for me for you to be here!Padre: (Makes the Sign of the Cross) I absolve you of all your sins. (gestures to the door) Now get the FUCK out!
- Machete don't text.
- Except when he finally does, sending a message that makes Booth pretty much say Oh, Crap.
- One of the Mexicans barging into battle was running with an ice cream cart.
- "Machete... will return... in... Machete Kills! And... Machete Kills Again! "
- "THEY JUST FUCKED WITH THE WRONG MEXICAN."
- How about the scene where Machete jumps out of building using the intestines of the Mook he just disemboweled as a rope? Crosses the Line Twice indeed.
- From the trailer for Machete Kills: And introducing Carlos Estevez as The President!
- In the second trailer, "Machete don't tweet."