Abner reading Cedric the story of Pinky Winky. Lum scolds them for reading childrens literature, but secretly listens in anyway.
Abner writes out a public service slogan for Diogenes: "Him what helps his momma is a good boy." Lum thinks it is the stupidest thing he's ever heard. Diogenes hears it and, much to Lum's shock, thinks it's poignant and brilliant. Then, to Lum's utter horror, he orders Lum to pass out pamphlets with this ridiculous, embarassing slogan.
Grandpappy accidentally picking up and reading a romance novel instead of his beloved almanac and not being able to tell the difference until someone points it out to him.
Abner can't find his wedding license, and has to remarry Lizabeth so he can inherit a small fortune. Abner can't tell her why he's doing it, and he's not sure she will want to remarry him. Lum: 'Jest tell her it's for business reasons.' Abner: 'That's what I told her last time.' This must have been an adlib on Norris Goff's part, and you can hear Chet Lauck (who played Lum) trying to hold his laughter as they continue with the show.
The deadpan readings of Lum's radio scripts and wartime plays.
Abner(reading a commmercial for the barber shop): I can always tell you've been to Moze Moots'...(turns page) By the way, you smell!