- Louis relays the tale of the saddest handjob in America, given to him by his wife.
- The kicker comes near the end - he tries to tell her "Maybe if you lick your palm?", and she thinks he said "You look like your mom".
- His joke about 9/11 and masturbation is so beyond offensive that it becomes unspeakably hilarious.
- His routine on the schedule in Hell. Specifically, he worries that he won't know what to do once he gets there. He imagines a hypothetical scenario in which he blows the first demon who asks, only to be informed by management that he didn't have to.
"You'd better pace yourself, man. I mean, you're down here forever. You're gonna blow a lot of demons, no need to start freelancing in the hallways."