Funny / Lake Placid

  • Every single line between Hank and Hector.
    Hector: (holds up a severed toe) Is this your friend?
    Hank: (deadpan) He seemed taller.
    • "Why does the Big One heckle me?"
    • When Sheriff Hank gets caught in the crocodile trap and then subsequently chases Hector with a big stick after they get him out of it.
    • A lovely moment before Hector goes underwater to find the croc:
      Hank: I brought a porkchop for luck. Maybe you can hang it around your neck.
      Hector: That's sweet. Maybe later you can chew the bark off my big fat log.
      (He dives underwater. A beat.)
      Hank: Was that like a homosexual remark?
  • All of Mrs. Bickerman's lines.
    If I had a dick, this is where I'd tell you to suck it.
  • Kelly's response to having a decapitated moose head thrown in her direction.
    Don't throw heads at me!!
  • The climax, where our heroes discover that there's a second crocodile.
    Hector: Two! There's two of them! Two!
    • What makes it so funny is Sheriff Keough's reaction, he promptly blows it's head off with his big gun , and retort.
      Keough: Back to one.