Funny / Kingdom of Heaven

  • Balian and Saladin at the end.
    Balian: What is Jerusalem worth?
    Saladin: Nothing...[grinning] Everything.
  • Reynauld de Chatillon may be a complete Smug Snake Jerkass, but his deliciously hammy performance is hilarious.
    • Exemplified in the Director's Cut. After his arrest he's seen pacing in his cell just shouting his name, amusing himself with the echo... and pissing the guard off enough that he shuts the door, and only slightly muffles the endless shouting.
  • Godfrey justifying sparring with the wounded Balian.
    Hospitaller: His hand is wounded.
    Godfrey: I once fought two days with an arrow in my testicle.
    Hospitaller: [nodding] Ah, yes.
  • While Balian is preparing to offer terms to Saladin after the battle the Bishop has some choice advice.
    Bishop: Convert to Islam... repent later!
    Balian: You've taught me a lot about religion, your Eminence.