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  • The "Cloudman" intro. "These dudes have got energy to spare! We're talking guys who beat off four times a day!"
    • The same chapter also gives us Travis incessantly pelvic thrusting for absolutely no reason. The fact that Con's viewpoint (assuming you're playing as him at that point) is right about at Travis's crotch level just made it funnier. Furthermore, HUSTLE.
    • Susie, queen of line-crossing Non Sequiturs, gets her moment seconds later:
      Well, hello. Smith (^。^)ノ. How do you like this weather =*^-^*= ? The sun's bright here, isn't it? I think towns in the south are just fab (*'-'*). Because Susie just adores sweet desserts! What? My name? Yeah, that's right, it's Susie! You gotta problem with it? Just what about my name? So what I hate it too! The name Susie just bites... "Susie the doozie". "The queen of prudies, Susie". "Susie packs an Uzi". I despise men! They're all creeps as far as I'm concerned ( ̄Д ̄#). So I rounded up those sons of XXX, and took'em and I XXXX and then I XXXXX. Yeah you bet they were screaming for mercy when I cut of their XXXX! With the shape they're all in now, they can't even go out in public! Oh, here you are, handsome! (^-^) oO
      *gives you MacGuffin*
  • "Yeah. I'm here to kill Mr. Fukushima." MASK de Smith does not care for subtlety. Incredibly, the restaurant workers he's telling this to don't even blink at this declaration; the front guy just says that they'll be delighted to serve him before transforming into their Heaven Smile forms.
    • In the same chapter, MASK deflects an incoming bullet by headbutting it
  • Garcian, while playing Russian Roulette: "This gun holds seven bullets. I'm a professional. You can't fool me, old man."
  • Some of Travis' other animations are pretty funny, although none top the pelvic thrusting. In the second part of "Smile", there is a wall that slides open to reveal a room that contains nothing... except for Travis using an elliptical bike while grinning at the player. He then admonishes you for not giving him privacy and tells you to meet him later. Later still in that level is him spinning a fire extinguisher on one finger as if it were a basketball.
  • Some of the characters' names are so over the top that they're hilarious, especially when they have a lot of plot importance and gravitas. For the biggest example, who is the most powerful man in the entire country? Greg Nightmare! (No, that's not the name of an evil warlord, it's the name of the education minister). It's even funnier that nobody ever calls attention to names like that or "Trevor Pearlharbor", they're delivered totally straight-faced.
  • Matsuoka's response to Garcian beginning to doubt his purpose.
    Garcian: What is United States? What is the purpose of the president?"
    Matsuoka: *I'm Japanese. How the hell should I know?"

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