- The opening, in which a man in a bird-like costume leaps off a building to fly. The heroic music builds, people clap in amazement...and then he smashes into a cab and dies.
Dave: That's not me, by the way. That's some Armenian guy with a history of mental health problems.
- Damon shooting Mindy in her Kevlar pillow protected torso, (as part of her training), sending her flying onto her back, all while acting like it's the most ordinary father-daughter bonding moment in the world.
- The ice cream parlor scene that follows.
Mindy: I'm just fuckin' with ya, Daddy!
- Dave's early attempts at armchair heroics: posing in the mirror, shadow fighting, (read: flailing) rehearsing banter, training to jump from roof to roof.
- 'FUCK YOU, MR. BITEY!'
- Dave's face when the woman in Rasul's apartment starts rubbing her tits together.
- Damon's little laugh after he conceives of the idea to change our protagonist's name to Ass-Kick.
- Big Daddy and Hit Girl paying Dave a visit in the middle of the night.
BD: Your call, but, you know we're around if you need us.
KA: How do I get a hold of you?
HG: You just contact the mayor's office. He has a special signal he shines in the sky. It's in the shape of a giant cock.
- When Frank spies from his limo who he believes to be Kick-Ass; brazenly walking the streets after apparently murdering his men. His increasingly unhinged rambling to himself is just priceless.
Frank D'Amico: Holy... Shit. I don't fuckin' believe it. Follow him, around the corner. Not too fast... What's with the high-fives?! I'll give you a motherfuckin' high-five! High-fivin' bull-shit!
- Followed by the mob-boss beginning to lose it: (little kid voice) "Mommy! I want a Kick-Ass party!" (Mark Strong voice) "Dumb little fucks!" *snorts mountain of cocaine*
- Joe and Chris' banter is hi-lar-i-ous.
Chris: It - It's everything I need. And you might have to screw someone over, like Louie, or something.
Joe: Louie? Hey, Chris -
Chris: Or somebody, it doesn't have to be Louie.
Joe: ... Tony!
Chris: I hate Tony.
Joe: Yeah, fuck Tony. He's a scumbag.
- Chris D'Amico's entrance as Red Mist, jumping down dramatically from a dumpster, only to do what all of us have done from a low fall to our feet at one point or another and land awkwardly, hurting his ankle.
- Red Mist and Kick-Ass in the Mist Mobile for the first time. You hear Gnarl's Barkley's "Crazy" and see Kick-Ass head bobbing to it at first and then a few seconds later we see Red Mist and him both dancing to it.
- "That's right! We're superheroes! You love us!"
- Chris, as the Red Mist, smokes a joint while driving in the Mist Mobile with Kick-Ass. Kick-Ass's face when he sees Chris smoking one makes it even funnier.
- Red Mist holding a teddy bear camera.
Chris: You need to see this!
Everyone Else: *Stares at the teddy bear*.
- When Kick-Ass breaks into Katie's house and she starts giving him a royal beatdown for it.
- One of the objects she hits him with is a tennis racket, most likely a nod towards Katie's tennis hobby in the original comic.
- Dave, who's been playing up the gay card to be close to Katie. After the Kick-Ass reveal and courtship, the gang is in the comic shop comparing Kick-Ass and Red Mist, when one of them asks what Katie thinks:
Katie: "Mm... I dunno. I think Kick-Ass is cute."
Dave: (arches eyebrow) "Really."
Katie: (nodding) "Mmhm. I, for one, would definitely fuck his brains out if I got the chance."
Dave: ('oh really?' look) "You would?"
Katie: (smiles knowingly at Dave) "Definitely."
Dave: "You uh... mind checking out that new Kate Hudson movie? Cause I was thinking of seeing it and we can totally make the next showing."
Katie: (stands up) "Hell yeah." (both rush outside)
- During the torture scene as Todd and Marty watch via internet, Marty gestures silently to Todd to look at Erika holding onto him in fear, and Todd gives him a double thumbs up.
- Dave thinking about what he'll never do due to dying. "Like learn to drive, or see what me and Katie's kids would look like, or find out what happened on Lost."
- "A bazooka?... Okay."
- "UNDER CONTROL? YOU'RE GRABBING A BAZOOKA, you dumbass!"
- Kick-Ass' Big Damn Heroes moment on the jet-pack, complete with "An American Trilogy" playing.
- Followed by Frank D'Amico saying "That is one weird-sounding bazooka."
- "Hey, I have one of those!"
- Frank D'Amico's reaction after Hit-Girl barges into his office and disarms him: "FUCK!"
- In case you didn't notice, the whole bazooka scene. It starts with Hit-Girl cornered behind the kitchen's massive counter and without ammo but still dangerous due to her aim with the nearby fillet knives, so Frank's bodyguard, Stu, says he's had enough and is going to recover the bazooka. The other henchmen are wondering if it's not overkill, Hit-Girl cries "The bazooka?!", then there's Chris' reaction to him grabbing the bazooka after declaring he had everything under control...
- The guy who 'received' Hit Girl's knives just prior to the bazooka sequence is a whole load of funny. It starts with him being the last guy in a hallway full of mooks that Hit Girl brutally takes out. When she runs out of ammo, she chucks her gun at his head, grabs his gun and tries to shoot him while he's on the ground - only he was also out of ammo. Then, after she's forced to retreat, he's too scared to face her even with fresh backup - so he's given a big gun and sent out against her at gun point where he randomly unloads his clip at the counter she's behind. When that runs out of ammo, he's got the dumbest nervous grin on his face, looks to his buddies for confirmation... and then receives two knives, points first to the chest.
- Mindy smiling and cracking her knuckles after the bullies demand her lunch money at the end of the movie.