- Much of the movie.
- When Juno breaks the news to Leah that she's pregnant.
Leah: How did you generate enough pee for three pregnancy tests? That's amazing...Juno: I dunno, I drank, like, ten tonnes of Sunny D! Anyway, I'm telling you that I'm pregnant, and you're acting shockingly cavalier.
- When Juno tells Mac and Brenda that she's pregnant, they want to know who the father is. When Juno tells them:
Mac: [amused] Paulie Bleeker? I didn't know he had it in him.Leah: [laughing] I know, right?!
- And then:
Mac: Next time I see Paulie Bleeker, I'm gonna punch him in the wiener.Brenda: Honey. You know it wasn't his idea.
- Trying to reassure Juno in the delivery room:
Brenda: Doctors are sadists who like to play god and watch lesser people suffer.
- This bit:
Juno: That's a wise choice. 'Cause I knew this girl, she had this, like, crazy freak out, 'cause she took too many behavioral meds at once and she just, like, ripped off her clothes and dove into the fountain at Ridgedale Mall, and was like, "Blah! I am kraken from the sea!!"Su-chin: I heard that was you.Juno: Well, it's good seeing you, Su-chin.
- "THUNDERCATS ARE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
- The part where Juno talks about Paulie Bleaker's expression when they had sex.