- When Juno breaks the news to Leah that she's pregnant.
Leah: How did you generate enough pee for three pregnancy tests? That's amazing...
Juno: I dunno, I drank, like, ten tonnes of Sunny D! Anyway, I'm telling you that I'm pregnant, and you're acting shockingly cavalier.
- After Brenda and Mac find out Paulie got Juno pregnant.
Mac: Next time I see Paulie Bleeker, I'm gonna punch him in the wiener.
Brenda: Honey. You know it wasn't his idea.
- Trying to reassure Juno in the delivery room:
Brenda: Doctors are sadists who like to play god and watch lesser people suffer.
Juno: That's a wise choice. 'Cause I knew this girl, she had this, like, crazy freak out, 'cause she took too many behavioral meds at once and she just, like, ripped off her clothes and dove into the fountain at Ridgedale Mall, and was like, "Blah! I am kraken from the sea!!"
Su-chin: I heard that was you.
Juno: Well, it's good seeing you, Su-chin.