Funny / Judge Judy

  • Any particularly egregious Bad Liar.
  • His window hit my elbow.
    • For that matter, everytime Judy laughs.
  • Anytime Judy goes into snark mode.
  • What has been (incorrectly) referred to as her quickest court case: the plaintiff came in asking for restitution from two guys who stole her purse and the items inside, though they denied they had it.
    Plantiff: I had gift cards in there, my earpiece, and a calculator.
    Defendant: [speaking up] There was no earpiece in there, ma'am.
    Judge Judy: I love it! I love it. [to Byrd] That's Dumb and Dumber. Judgment for the plaintiff for the amount of $500. That's what I think it's worth, madam. Goodbye.
    • NOTE: The case is actually standard length. Based on the YouTube clip that has gone viral, people assume the YouTube clip is the entirety of the case. It isn't. Nevertheless, the trope still does apply.
  • This particular exchange, as seen in Judyisms:
    Plaintiff: But he cheats all the time!
    Judge Judy: Are you trying to justify to me the fact that you're an idiot?!
  • In a case from 2007, a woman lost a case against another woman who had shot her dog, primarily because she didn't have a leash on the dog and blew the case out of proportion, realizing she was responsible for her dog being shot (there were signs up too). Judy was full of her usual gems, including this particular gem (when the plaintiff was asked why she kept changing her story about there being no leash):
    Judge Judy: Oh, I get it, it was snatched by the leash fairy!!!
  • In one case, a woman ruined her boyfriend's clothes by pouring bleach all over them. She then goes on a 30 second rant, which consisted of almost nothing but insults directed at him. Judge Judy gloriously and hilariously put her in her place.
    Judge Judy: LISTEN TO ME! (Beat) Where do you think you are? You think you're on Springer? YOU'RE NOT!
  • The cell phone eBay scamming case. After Judge Judy questions the scammer, who claims that the auction was for two photos of the cell phone instead of two cell phones, the scammer insists that that's what they paid for.
    Judge Judy: YOU'RE AN IDIOT!
  • The 1997 case of Williams v. Lydon. Drummer Robert Williams (who played with such bands as Captain Beefheart, Tex and the Horseheads, and Zoogz Rift) was suing John Lydon (aka Johnny Rotten of the Sex Pistols) for assault and lost wages. Lydon's courtroom antics were epic; he even made JJ herself laugh at one point. Here's a few excerpts.
  • A 2015 case saw a former boyfriend and girlfriend against each other. Judy asks when they started dating, but he does not know the answer. She then proceeds to ask him when his birthday was, followed by his mother's birthday. While it may be expected that a son might have a bit of a problem remembering his mother's birthday, Judy then pointedly asks when the girlfriend's birthday was. He doesn't have a clue that her birthday is the Fourth of July! Not even Judy can resist laughing.
  • In a 2015 case, Judy had no patience for a crybaby suing her own son for breaking her Grandma's china.
    Judge Judy: You say no, I say yes. I win. I'm the Judge. Goodbye.
    • The taper even squeezes in one at the end with his reaction: "Murdered".
  • One defendant answers Judge Judy's rhetorical question about rocket science. You know you've really stuck your foot in your mouth when Byrd is shaking his head.
    Defendant: Rocket science is when the scientists find out things about space...I think.