Funny: Jonas

  • Basically the entire halloween episode. Hightlights include this:
    Kevin: It's two minutes past twelve.
    Joe: Two minutes past twelve?! Nick!
    Kevin: Wait, I set my watch eleven minutes fast so we wouldn't be late for school.
    Joe: Kevin!
    • And this:
    Kevin: Maybe the ghost is rocking a baby ghost! (And then ) Don't scream. You'll wake the baby ghost.
    • And the scene were Kevin's running around yelling "Reel me in! Reel me in!"
    • Kevin screaming and then going "I was having a flashback, I'm sorry."
    • "There is no more Nick. There is only Volunteer Fireman Smith."
    • "He's making spooky smoothies!"
    • Both the scenes in the "ghost free safe zone" (A.K.A. Kevin's bed).
  • "They took my socks without taking off my shoes. How do they do that?"
  • Nick in "Double Date", when Joe talks to Stella and tells her to go out with Van Dyke.
    Nick: Stop talking. Stop talking. Stop talking! Oh, for the love of all that is Mike, stop talking.
  • This conversation in "Frantic Romantic":
    Macy: What you need to do is make the sites and mags believe you found someone more attractive than Fiona. 'Joe Dumps Fiona For Mystery Girl'.
    Stella: Yeah, well, you're gonna need pictures.
    Nick: And that means we need a mystery girl.
    Kevin: We can put Nick in a wig and a dress!
    Nick: No, we can't!
    Kevin: ...You're probably right. That's more publicity than we're looking for.
  • From "Fashion Victim", Joe has several reasons why Stella shouldn't date Van Dyke:
    Joe: He combs his hair against the natural part. He has days of the week underwear, and he wears them on the wrong days!
    Kevin: (coughs pointedly in the background)
    Joe: We have gym together!
    Kevin: No you don't.