- Basically the entire halloween episode. Hightlights include this:
Kevin: It's two minutes past twelve.Joe: Two minutes past twelve?! Nick!Kevin: Wait, I set my watch eleven minutes fast so we wouldn't be late for school.Joe: Kevin!
Kevin: Maybe the ghost is rocking a baby ghost! (And then ) Don't scream. You'll wake the baby ghost.
- And this:
- And the scene were Kevin's running around yelling "Reel me in! Reel me in!"
- Kevin screaming and then going "I was having a flashback, I'm sorry."
- "There is no more Nick. There is only Volunteer Fireman Smith."
- "He's making spooky smoothies!"
- Both the scenes in the "ghost free safe zone" (A.K.A. Kevin's bed).
- "They took my socks without taking off my shoes. How do they do that?"
- Nick in "Double Date", when Joe talks to Stella and tells her to go out with Van Dyke.
Nick: Stop talking. Stop talking. Stop talking! Oh, for the love of all that is Mike, stop talking.
- This conversation in "Frantic Romantic":
Macy: What you need to do is make the sites and mags believe you found someone more attractive than Fiona. 'Joe Dumps Fiona For Mystery Girl'.Stella: Yeah, well, you're gonna need pictures.Nick: And that means we need a mystery girl.Kevin: We can put Nick in a wig and a dress!Nick: No, we can't!Kevin: ...You're probably right. That's more publicity than we're looking for.
- From "Fashion Victim", Joe has several reasons why Stella shouldn't date Van Dyke:
Joe: He combs his hair against the natural part. He has days of the week underwear, and he wears them on the wrong days!Kevin: (coughs pointedly in the background)Joe: We have gym together!Kevin: No you don't.
- That one joke about Joe not being able to take out the trash without risk of being torn to pieces by a mob of rabid fangirls.