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Funny: JonTron
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    Unsorted 
  • His "Reviews?", done in a slurred monotone that is rarely ever broken, talking about things very barely related to the actual game, eventually giving it an ambiguous rating that could may or may not be translated as "buy this game".
    Jon: I give Donkey Kong Country Returns six golden banans plus out of Shigeru Miyamoto.
    Jon: [Reviewing Sonic Colors] If you press A, you'll do a jump, and if you press B while pointing at the screen you'll shoot some star bits... And if you push A and B together you'll accidentally sleep with your boyfriend's best friend after your boyfriend bought you a $600 ENGAGEMENT RING MAGGIE!!
  • After announcing his panel at Magfest, Jon presents a video of himself playing the harmonica. The best part is that - although he's obviously half-assing his way through - the song turns out to be rather good; even Jon himself is impressed!
  • Any time he gets angry or cries, it's so funny.
  • A meta bit of funny: Apparently, Grant Kirhope's son is a fan of JonTron, as Grant revealed on Twitter. When Grant told him they were friends, how did Grant's son reply? By saying that Jon was "way too famous and cool" to be friends with him.
  • The many variations of his trademark "ECH!" are always worthy of a smile, at least. Same when he starts ramping up the Joisey accent.

    Final Hallway XIII 
  • Final Hallway XIII. The entire thing.
    • And its sequel is glorious, with the most beautiful Take That to Square Enix imaginable.
    Jon: To unlock the ending of this JonTron, go to youtube.com/DLC and give us all your money! Did you like this game? Or that one? How about these? Wuzzat? Wh-Wuzzat? You ju- you just want a game that doesn't have six meterosexual Jonas brothers in it? Well FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU! This is what you get, fuck you! Square Enix: Because fuck you guys!

    Gaming in Public Episode 1 
  • From Gaming In Public Episode 1:
    Claudio: Oi gente tudo bem?
    Caption: Oye gents you're all from Maine!

    Stairfax Temperatures 

    Sonic R 
  • In his Sonic R review, Jon demonstrated how goofy the soundtrack was by playing the cheerfully upbeat "Can You Feel The Sunshine?" over a scene in God of War where somebody gets eaten by a Hydra.
  • Also, from the same review:
    Jon: [Pretending to be a stoned Sonic Team member after snorting a line of cocaine] Welcome to Sonic Team! We make games, I think!
    Manager: ...What the FUCK is a "Sonic"!?

    Aquaman: Battle for Atlantis 

     2010 Halloween Special 
  • Part one of his 2010 Halloween Special.
    Jon: [With an ominous tone] Welcome to part one of the Jontron Halloween Special.
    [He goes cross-eyed] THE TOP TEN MARIO KART TRACKS!
    [He flips two bowls of chips onto the floor.]

    Monster Party 
  • The Monster Party review is full of funny moments, but particularly noteworthy is the face Jon makes when actual gameplay is shown for the first time.
    Jon: I tell ya what there sure is some sort of a party goin on over here. Just not sure it's the kind I want to be invited to.
    • The above quote is then followed by a gigantic LOL on the screen itself.
  • And then there's the start of the actual review:
    Jon: You got all your normal kinds of monster madness going on here in the background: killer plants, spiders, minotaurs, tempu—OH...Tempura...Shrimp? Oh......this is gonna be one of those days isn't it?
  • "Who wants a piece of my dick bat?!?"
  • Special mention to reactions to some of the strange enemies in the game.
    Jon: I'm ready for anything.
    [Dramatic closeup of an mashup mook]
    Jon: WAIT, I LIED! I was NOT ready for anything! Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope SO MUCH NOPE. [Accompanied by splatters of that string of "Nopes" that fill the screen]
  • His reactions to the "boss" that's already dead and the pumpkin boss that did not want Jon to hurt him.
    Jon: (reading) Sorry I'm dead. (normal) Okay y'know I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to disturb you. *Beat* ...wait, What? REAALLY? Really? I just...yeah great, grab the freaking question mark and keep moving. It's like war time no time to question this shit.
    Jon: (reading) Please don't pick on me. (normal) Yeah well no. I wasn't planning on it. *boss attacks* Holy shit! *Jon throws the controller through the air* A-are you being serious with me right now? This guy's gonna go around opening with lines like "please don't pick on me" and then immediately jump all over you like Bruce Willis in the midst of a bathroom emergency?
    • Hilariously enough he brings up the pumpkin boss again with regards to the dancing zombies
      Jon: Captain Pumpkin Head says "please don't pick on me" then immediately sucker punches the shit out of you, but no dancing zombies mean business when they say things.
  • His reaction to the tempura boss:
    Jon: When did this game go from a game called "Monster Party" to a game where I fight SHRIMP and ONION RINGS?! WHY?! And what th... why is there a space station IN THE BACKGROUND?!!!
  • After trying his best to tolerate the difficulty of this game, finally Rage Quitting when he dies to the final boss, causing him to pull up a video on YouTube where the boss was beaten and claiming he did that.
    Jon: No one can say I'm not good at finishing games.
    Jacques: Jon, you couldn't finish a cheese danish.
    Jon: Hey Jacques, I keep you naked on purpose.
  • "Then they fused together." WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!
  • "Oh, cool, I took some drugs and became a dragon. [Beat] OK, COOL, WHA'EVER, I'M JUST ROLLIN' WITH IT. TIME FOR YOUR PREPARATION H, SIR!!!"
  • And then there's also his reaction to the upright walking pants.
    Jon: Wait wh—is—Issa—Issat pants? Is that motherfucking starched pants walking around like J. Edgar Hoover on a Tuesday afternoon? No no I-I changed my mind. I can't! I can't! This game is going to be the end of me! *cue Paradise By the Dashboard Light*
  • His reaction to the empty room while trying to find the key.
    Jon: Well, I can tell you one thing. It's certainly not here. GOOD. No no good no. I'm glad. I'm glad they put it in the game. NO. I'm-I'm glad. No! I mean it's not like—*cuts to the next scene*
  • Start of Round 2
    Jon: (said quickly) Fish face on legs! Yup! Yup! YUUUUUUUUUP! Oh, whoa. I-I think I lost my train of thought there for a second.

    Charlie's Angels 
  • The intro to the Charlie's Angels review. It's obvious he had to rerecord the audio as what is being said in the audio doesn't match with what's being said in the video.
    Jon: (slurred) I don't even know what's going on right now, ya guys, there's some sort of thing in my hands. I don't give a SHIT about this. Fwuh's trophy.
  • "Now all we need is a game to review." Cue the game falling out of the sky from nowhere.
  • His reaction to the Angels' idle animations.
  • "Oh my God, is that a piana?"
  • Jon commenting on the bizarreness of the characters' running animations, noting that they wouldn't seem out of place in SpongeBob SquarePants:
    Jon: (giggles) Just look at...just look at how strange the walk cycle is. They look like they belong more in a SpongeBob cartoon.
    (A clip of one of the walk cycles from the SpongeBob SquarePants episode The Sponge Who Could Fly appears on the screen; it is then displayed side-to-side with the game's walking animation for comparison.)

    The Lost World: Jurassic Park 

    Apples and Grapes 
  • JonTron made a video called "Apples and Grapes" - it doesn't make much sense at all if you're a new fan, but it's still got a few funny moments. Jon plays MySims and finds himself very disappointed by it (nearly going insane, repeating the question "What do you do?" in disbelief). Jon subsequently walks all the way from California to Texas to speak to PeanutButterGamer, resulting in some of the most Surreal Humor that Normal Boots has ever produced.
    PeanutButterGamer: What?
    Jon: [sobbing] I just couldn't bear it any more, PBG, I played MySims. I played MySims, PBG, I had to tell you...I came from California to Texas to tell you I know how you feel. [incoherently] Iss'a worst game I've ever played. [sobs] [incoherent shouting]
    PeanutButterGamer: You came here from California? [camera zooms in uncomfortably close] Like, to Texas from California? I mean, it's freaking cold out, do you need anything?
    [Beat]
    Jon: [with bizarre enunciation] Apples AND grapes.
    PeanutButterGamer: [holding punnets full of apples and grapes] Dude, you lucked out! [Beat]
    [the two begin dancing to bass-heavy electronic music]

    Malkovich's Gaming Game Show 
  • Pretty much the entirety of "Malkovich's Gaming Game Show." Jontron as a Cloud Cuckoo Lander John Malkovich plus Egoraptor in a dress as his "sometimes beautiful" assistant Vitalia is funny enough on its own, but the way it is acted out is just perfect.
    Malkovich: Contestant number you're dead first. Tell me, has the milk gone bad?

    Monster Bash 
  • The intro to the Monster Bash review consists of a disclaimer that Jon failed to keep up with his Halloween deadline... to the tune of the The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air rap.
  • When discussing the various types of games that came out in the MS-DOS era, Jon shows some clips from obscure game Demon Blue when he adds "weird fuckin' games" to the list. Rather than elaborate, he allows the weirdness of the game to speak for itself.
  • When Jon claims that the sound of giggling, falling skulls (in the game) is music to his ears, the sound is featured with a clip from an ad for Mattress Ranch. Something about the surreal nature of this combination and the jump-cut zoom on the man's face towards the end makes this moment hilarious.

    Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts 
  • JonTron's reaction to cars in Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts:
    Jon: Cars...? Cars?! CAAAAAAARS!!!!! AND IIIIIIIII—HOLY SHIT!—WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUICAN'TBELIEVEYOUDIDTHISTOMEGODDAMMITHOWCOULDYOUDOTHISTOME?!
  • Hell, the entire review. Such as the epic buildup to when he realizes what he's actually going to play.
  • This:
    Jon: STOP!
    Jon: STOP IT!
    Jon: STOP TAUNTING ME!
  • His explanation of the disappointment of Nuts and Bolts.
    Jon: I mean, what if after Super Mario World Nintendo came out with a teaser trailer for Super Mario 64, but upon release day, you were greeted with MARIO CITY SIMULATOR?! AND THEN YOU TURNED ON THE GAME AND SHIGERU MIYAMOTO'S GHOST COMES OUT AND IS LIKE "UHHH FUCKIN' WHO LIKES THE OLD MARIO GAMES AMIRITE? BRB, MAKING LEGEND OF ZELDA MODERN WARFARE!!!"
  • "Ladies and gentlemen, I've plucked a whale from the ocean, and he sounds like a seal!" *whale makes seal noises* *cut to Jon smiling and nodding*
  • Rockington being Put on a Bus.
    Jon: What a beautiful day; wouldn't you say, Rockington?
    [Cut to the ground, with nothing in the shot]
    Jon: Oh, yeah. I l- I lost Rockington. I lo- I LOST A ROCK!
  • Jon trying to finish the game early by running over Gruntilda with his car.
    Jon: Maybe I can end the game early by killing Gruntilda while she's in the open! Get 'er! Get 'er! Kick 'er eees! HAHAHAHAH-Seriously. This ain't funny anymore. This is now called DramTron.
  • The way Jon brings Jacques back to life. You'd expect there to be some kind of convoluted way to do it, as this is one of the more plot-driven Video Review Shows (in the Atop the Fourth Wall sense). But then, instead, you get:
    Jon: Jacques! OW-WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO!
    [Jacques just comes back, accompanied by a powerup SFX from Super Mario Bros.]
  • Jon appreciates the subtle Breaking the Fourth Wall in Nuts & Bolts.
    Jon: ... if you spell 'subtly' like this!
  • After he complains about the small pizza thing from the opening this happens.
    Jon: OHHHHHHHM, I'm in da treesh. How did I get dere?

    Birdemic 

    Bubsy 
  • The moment in Jon's Bubsy video where... I'll let him explain.
    Jon: Jumping. In a car. Killed me. No, it's, I don't really, THAT'S THE WAY WE WASH OUR HANDS! (throws controller on the floor) FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA!!
  • "Bubsy is 3D in Furbitten Planet, because talent."
  • "Watch the fuck out, citizens of Bubsyland. Captain Bubsy is drunk as shit again and heavily armed with puns!"
  • "Good one, Bubsy! Hey, wanna be a cast member on Sat-purr-day Night Live? I know you'll make the MEOWST OF IT! [Suddenly distant] I believe in ya, Bubsy!"
  • "Yeeeaaaah! Bubsy Two! Bubsy Three!...BUBSY FUCKIN' TWO!"
  • "They put FALLING DAMAGE in their motherfucking 2D platform game?" (Cut to a newspaper with the headline "JonTron Quits".)
  • "Did I say that I felt bad? Let me rephrase that: I feel bad for me."
  • The beginning had this gem:
    Jon: [Upon realizing that he's back in his room and Jacques is ticked off] Whoa, whoa, oh no! I-I was reviewing the game the whole time, look! [Laughs nervously while putting the cover of 3D Dot Game Heroes in his SNES, Jacques just looks with flaming eyes and a red-tinted background] Jon, that doesn't go in there, you silly bitch! [Laughs nervously again]
  • "Yeah, Play for Points! Gotta get that high score and post it to SNES-Live, yo."
  • "It's a cat an' ya put him in a shirt an' bam! Is' Bubsey! (Cut to black) I QUIT!"

    King's Quest V 
  • The King's Quest V review is hysterical. From his reaction to the king flying, to the deaths (including bear), it's just an absolute joy.
  • Also, Jon using his Tron-Bunk kit to figure out one of the game's essential flaws:
    Jon: Yeah... yes, I see... oh, that's righteous, that's good. Ah, there it is. It's clear now, I've got it. [Cut to Jon, deadpan] ev'rbuhdy mov' sfuckin' slow! Ev'rybuhdy mov'sssreally fuckin' slow!

    Continue Crossover 
  • The Continue Show crossover. Six games in a row. Adult Chocolate Milk. Hilarity Ensues.

    Top 10 Necessary Game Sequels 
  • The start of his entry on Mega Man in the Top 10 Necessary Game Sequels.
    "Pew pew pew [With accompanying text] pewpewpewpewpewpewpew [With accompanying text] BRAAAAAAAAAP [Picture of Skrillex]"

    Dino City 
  • Jon trying to figure out how to load up Dino City, starting his infamous Running Gag. He tries the PS3, then the PS2, then tries to load it into a PC tray, then into the DS, then on top of his wireless router, then into the dishwasher, then into the dishwasher, then into the... dishwasher... again, and then finally realises the correct console: The SMBS.
    Jon: Now, if I just remembered how to play this thing... [tries to load it into PS3] Oh, no, no, not on the PS3... Silly to think it'd be on the 2... [puts into PC tray] I'll just put it in the PC tray, see what happens... [game falls out] Well that's unfortunate. [opens DS and rams it with the cartridge] Alright, well, the DS can, uh, usually play the games, so... [places game on wireless router] Ohhh, it's a done deal, it's the wireless router! It's... This has not worked... [drops in dishwasher] Dishwasher? No... [drops in dishwasher again] Dishwasher? No... [throws in dishwasher a third time] ...Dishwasher? Yeah, that's what I— [shakes camera at SNES] Oh my God, how could I have been so stupid?! The SMBS! [places game in... upside-down]
  • Jon getting irritated by the fact that the game counts your lives past 9 but doesn't show you and tossing the cartridge back in the dishwasher.
  • At the end, he bursts into a cover of "Firework".

    Nightshade 
  • Jon's response to being fooled during his Nightshade video:
    Jon: Fool me once - I'm mad. Fool me twice - How could you? Fool me three times - You're officially that guy, okay? You know him, you know the one. You go to the bar and he's like, "This suit is, uh, officially it's a Giorgio Armani, actually my dad knows him!" FUCK YOU! I AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIN'T HAVIN' THAT SHIT! *cracks a small grin*
  • Jon's bizarre methods of putting cartridges into their respective consoles reaches its nadir when he just throws the cartridge at his NES. And misses.
  • JonTron's priceless reaction to finding his popularity increased after killing a random policeman.
  • The meltdown at the end.
  • "Nightshade likes it to be night. In the shade. Doesn't wanna acknowledge curtains-uh fuck cut that, just cut that whole..."
  • Jon reading a Hurricane of Puns about "grate/great", not even managing to finish the sentence.
  • [Trying to pick up a crowbar] "A don't do it, and B don't do it, so what do it? This controller only got 2-it...dem buttons..." [Caption to sped-up music: THATWASAJOKETHX4COMING]
  • His inability to spell Sutekh's name, so he called him "HUEGH" or "HEUGH". The second time he did it seems to also gain a little bit memetic status due to how hilarious he delivered it:
    Jon (raising and shaking one hand): DAMN YOU, HUEGH!
  • GROSS
  • Willem Dafoe Basketball.
  • Jon's reaction to starting the game by losing half his health.
    Jon: *squinty-eyed smile* Dis' gonn' be a good game.

    Space Ace 
  • Jon's initial reaction to the Space Maze level in his Space Ace review: he yells "JESUS, WE'RE GOING IN HARD, STRAP IN," puts on a Daft Punk helmet (which makes a squeaky toy noise), and starts firing a toy laser while holding an Atari joystick as an alert sounds and screaming incoherently.
  • Space Walken.
  • The follow-up.
    Jon Literally, with the motherfuckin' humming and the... bring on the Mariachi band! [Fleshgod Apocalypse plays] That's not Mariachi!
  • Jon claiming that he has some of the original cels from Space Ace and Dragon's Lair... Except he's in his friend Ross' house.
  • Jon asks for a hi-five. Words cannot do it justice.
  • "HMM HMM?"
  • Space Maze (Pictures of corn in space appear)

    Top 20 SNES Games 
  • In the intro to the Top 20 SNES Games, Jon quickly goes from his usual demeanor to this:
    Jon: These are my Top 20 favorite, in no particular order, this is just the way they happen to fall on my [Climbs on table] EMOTIONAL SCALE, AND YOU'RE GONNA ACCEPT I- [Cue "Number 20" card]
  • SUPERMETROID? ONLYNUMBERTWELVEONDALIST? *cue a scene of a riot happening in a town*
    • It's the delivery of this line that really sells it.
  • In his Top 10 SNES Games video, at the end of the Earthbound part where he's talking about Earthbound as an experience. "I mean, look at Heavy Rain!" Cue yet another mockery of Press X to Jason, except the last one crashes. And then it shows up again at the end of the Super Mario RPG part. "So to cap it off, I'll just say-Jason!"

    Kinect Star Wars 

    Jon Tron State of Affairs 
  • JonTron State of Affairs, aside from being a reassurance that he hasn't stopped unannounced, also contains some funny moments, both scripted and non.
    • Jacques attempts to bite Jon's lip repeatedly. Once he gets tired of it, he moves him to his hand. Where he then poops. Jon moves him to the computer monitor, citing that he can't cause much trouble there. Jacques proceeds to flutter off of it and behind the computer. Jon just gives up and doesn't have him in the rest of the video.
    • At one point Jon is interrupted by Jacques plummeting from the monitor, next shot is of Jon's back to the camera as he says in a pseudo-baby voice, "Did ya fall down over hurr?"
    • Jon dancing a little boogie in front of his favorite Halal food cart, while "Nessun Dorma" blares in the background.
    • "I wanna make the videos for ya, but I'm not fast enough, daddy, stop beatin me, please!"
    • "YOU LYING SACK OF SHIT YOU WILL PAT FOR THIS"
    • "You know, I'm the little guy! I'm the Mom-and-Pop shop, that's who you're yelling at! You're going to Mama Roroso's at the corner bakery and saying 'Fuck you! Not as much pepperoni on this pizza as the other place, Pizza Hut!'"

    Hercules 
  • At the start of Hercules Games, Jon is talking about Hercules. It then cuts to him playing a Disney Tarzan game.
    Jon: I'm playing a game based on my favorite Greek legend, Heracles!"
    [Cut to Disney's Tarzan start screen on the television, an instrumental of Two Worlds playing in the background]
    Jacques: I'm glad to see nothing has changed around here.
    Jon: (Singing the Tarzan theme) Two worlds, one family...
    Jacques: Fuck this shit.
    Jon: (Heavily slurred) SON O' MAN LOOK TOOOO THE SKY *Jacques explodes*
  • Also, Jacques delivering a laser-guided Take That to Jon.
    Jon: I don't wanna stop playing games, or doin' the things I love to do with you, or even making this show!
    Jacques: Hasn't stopped you before.note 
    Jon: I want to become immortal, too, Jacques, just like Hercules: by playing the twelve games of Herc- wait, what'd you fuckin' just say to me? [Stares]
  • His introduction to the first game.
    Jon: So to make an example of my point, I'm gonna play a Hercules game on the Commodore 64. 'S called Hercules. What a name. Guess they didn't have to worry about names back then, it was the '80s, all they had to worry about was RONALD REAGAN TALKIN' 'BOUT GORBECHEV!"
  • His reaction to the shuffling skeleton enemy in one of the games.
  • "I'll get my suuuuuu-orrrd for you, Danny."
  • Zeus' warning of Hades and his minions.
    Zeus: Hades has many allies. In fact, there a couple of hundred of them just up ahead.
    Jon: Couple of what of them?
    Zeus: Couple of hundred of them.
    Jon: Couple of hundred of them?
    Zeus: COUPLE OF HUNDRED OF THEM just up ahead.
  • This moment:
    Hades: [very quietly] ᴴᵉʰᵉʰᵉʰᵉʰᵉʰᵉʰᵉʰᵉ⋅⋅⋅ᴵ ˢʰᵃᶫᶫ ᵈᵉᶠᵉᵃᵗ ʸᵒᵘ⋅ ᵃᶰᵈ ᵗʰᵉᶰ ʸᵒᵘ ˢʰᵃᶫᶫ ˢᵉʳᵛᵉ ᵐᵉ ᶦᶰ ᵗʰᵉ ᶫᵃᶰᵈ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᵈᵉᵃᵈ⋅⋅⋅
    Jon: Excuse me, Hades? Would you mind speaking up a bit?
    Hades: ʸᵒᵘ ˢʰᵃᶫᶫ ˢᵉʳᵛᵉ ᵐᵉ ᶦᶰ ᵗʰᵉ ᶫᵃᶰᵈ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᵈᵉᵃᵈ⋅⋅⋅
    Jon: "ʸᵒᵘ ˢʰᵃᶫᶫ ˢᵉʳᵛᵉ ᵐᵉ ᶦᶰ ᵗʰᵉ ᶫᵃᶰᵈ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᵈᵉᵃᵈ⋅⋅⋅" [Beat] That's how he talks.
  • The Star Wars-like text crawl.
  • Jon finds out Herc can eat gyros to get stronger. He goes into an epic opera-ballad about going to buy a gyro from a local Greek food stall. It then cuts to this.
    Jon: Ugh...my stomach...
    Offscreen: Dude, are you all right?
    Jon: Dude, SHUT UUUUUUP.
  • Jon explaining why he doesn't want to play Herc's Adventures as Atlanta or Jason.
    Jon: One's a...city in Georgia, THE OTHER'S A REGULAR NAME!
  • Jon's analysis of people saying they only talk to sailors:
    Jon: Well if that's the case, then you're probably gonna be pretty much limiting yourself to port towns honestly, and even then they're out to sea most of the time. Why aren't you on a boat? A boat would really be a better fit for you, also what the fuck, who says that?
    Jon: Okay, first of all, what kind of occupation is stroller? What kind of town is this? How did anyone learn speech if everyone only talks to sailors and there AIN'T NO SAILORS 'ROUND TOWN?
  • Hercules Does What Nintendercules.
  • Jon's reactions to Phil from the PS1 Hercules game apparently spouting gibberish at one point (including trying to phonetically spell it out with captions.)
  • Jon getting killed in the first five seconds of the first Commodore 64 game.
    Jon: *blank smile* ...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
    • Look closely at Jacques at that moment. It looks like he is biting Jon's ear. It could be why he was making that sound.
  • "Hercules... remember the scent of mother."
  • Jon tries playing a Commodore 64 cassette game in a cassette player. It plays loud static as Jon stares ahead with the caption (ACTUAL NOISE IT MADE) at the bottom of the screen.
  • Jon's claims that the games he's reviewing just appear in his house, and the increasing worry in his voice every time he switches from game to game.
    Jon: And it's all thanks to- The Military Industrial Compelx.
    • "THESE GAMES JUST KEEP SHOWING UP IN MY HOUSE WHEN I'M SLEEPING, MAN."
  • Jon talking about how a random NPC is too busy to throw out his seemingly dead cat, while constantly cutting to the NPC in question rapidly jerking his arm up and down in a way that looks like he's masturbating.
  • Jon's description of one game's Hercules' walk animation:
    "He looks like Eric Cartman trying to cut a jig!" *Proceeds to cut a jig of his own*
  • Jon noticing that the Legend of Hercules game looks an awful lot like another game.
    Jon: Should have just called it Legend of Hercules: Ocarina of Time if you catch my cold! Achoo!

    Goosebumps 
  • The pumpkin with a goofy-looking face drawn on it.
  • Jon's candy corn masterpiece: a pile of candy corn
  • Jon trying to share the Halloween spirit with everyone.
    Jon: *Goes outside* Hey everybody! Isn't it such a wonderful feeling?
    Cabbie: Outta the way, asshole!
    Jon: Jesus!
  • Jon counting in Jacques:
    Jon: Okay. One.
    Jacques: What even.
    Jacques: Go to fucking hell.
  • Jon's introduction of the Goosebumps book series, listing off some of the more notable stories, such as...
    Jon: The Haunted School...The Headless Ghost! Y'CAN'T SKYEH ME! DEGHEUGHEUCLAKEVDOOM! Why I'm Afraid of Bees—well, that's obvious, innit? PIANA LESSONS CAN BE MOIDAH. The Beast...From the East...? Like, are we talkin', like, Asia, or Philadelphia?
  • Being excited about seeing the show again, hoping it will be as good as he remembers:
    (Jon turns on the TV, the scene of Spidey falling off the stairs from "Say Cheese and Die!" is shown)
  • Jon's bucket list:
    [x] Make fun of a kids show.
    Jon: "Man, I am just blazing through these!"
  • Jon's wonders in technology don't just apply to games: He's able to watch "Don't Go To Sleep!" by shoving the book into his NES.
    Jon: Get that in there; you gotta do it- you gotta do like a taco, 's a method.
  • After Matt's mom says he won't be 12 forever:
    Jon: Or will he? (dances to Spooky Scary Skeletons)
    • Earlier, after Matt's mom shuts down his request to sleep in the attic: "You dirty bitch!"
  • Jon noticing the dick-flashlight.
  • "Someone wake up the camera man."
  • His attempts to decipher the hockey coach's rambling.
    Jon: We have Hockey Coach Man over here just makin'- OH! -just m-makin' a scene for everyone to enjoy!
    • TEN MILLION DOLLARS
    • AVADA KEDAVRA
    • "Get blown out there, don't be like that guy, fucks like a little kid out there." *Non Specific Orgasm*
    • Not to mention his theory concerning his acting:
      Jon: I feel like they gave this guy specific lines, but he just said "Fuck it." and did whatever he wanted and they were like "(mumbling) Lunch break, (mumbling) I don't care, just leave it."
      • It's even funnier if you know the hockey coach is played by Don Cherry, a real life hockey commentator in Canada known for being controversial and being difficult to censor. So Jon's theory probably isn't that far off.
  • Jon's growing confusion over the different alternate realities Matt jumps into.
  • "IN TROUBLE" IS NOT A LOCATION.
    • Supplemented by his attempt at drawing out being "In Trouble".
  • Jon takes on the use of cinematography in the Reality Court.
    Judge: [face in extreme close up] Will the defendant please rise?
    Jon: [face also in extreme close up] If the judge backs up a bit.
  • "I'll be the judge of that." TRUE HORROR
  • 17 LIFE SENTENCES!! 5 LETHAL INJECTIONS!! TEN DECADES OF FAMILIAL SHAME!! Just for hating reality.
  • His idea of what the moral of the episode is:
    Jon: The moral of this story is "Never think, or else the secret police might catch you and kill you no matter what." (beyond pissed) It's good for the kids, it's good for the adults!
  • "Jon, can you feel it? Magic is in the air. I'm going back in." *unintelligble noises*

    Goosebumps, Part 2 
  • Once again, Jon is able to watch the Goosebumps episodes by shoving them into various video game consoles; he watches My Hairy Adventure by inserting it into his Super Nintendo, and Ghost Beach by shoving it into his Dreamcast.
  • Jon doesn't like Larry.
    Jon: (cheerfully) Oh, Larry. You jus- a- st- you're a fucking asshole.
  • Jon shooing away a hand coming at him out of nowhere as he attempts to put Ghost Beach into his Dreamcast.
  • Stroke that cat. STROKE THAT CAT.
  • The re-edit of Larry Boyd looking at his... er... "new hair."
    Larry: [screaming] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
    Jon: [singing] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
    [YOU SICK FUCK: This program has been suspended indefinitely.]
  • This moment is disturbing as hell, but also hilarious
    "Can't a guy get SOME PRIVACY!? HMM HMM HMM, HMM HMM HMM" *said as he stabs something or someone*
  • "The moral of the story is real good on this one - it's 'Don't be unlucky and be a dog.' ... Thassa good one."
  • Jon's reaction to one of the kids from Ghost Beach in a monster costume.
    Jon: Aw geez, it's Whoopi Goldberg!
  • Jon's Gilligan Cut reaction to the creepy skeleton faces on Ghost Beach:
    Terri: *screams*
    Jon: Oh come on, Terri, lighten up, what are you screaming at?
  • Just like the last Halloween special, evil scary forces don't faze Jon.
    Jon: I'm going to enjoy this Halloween even if it kills me.
    Pumpkin: (distorted voice) And it WILL kill you, Mr. Tron!
    Jon: (calmer) That's okay, just... think about how I feel next time, maybe.
  • Jon compliments the nature of the Goosebumps series while mutilating the books in various fashions.
  • STOP!
  • The "undoctored footage" of the enthusiastic keyboard kid.
  • Jon noticing how excited Larry is about the Instant Tan Lotion.
    Jon as Larry: (creepy voice) MM. YEAH. 'S MINE.

    Magfest 2014 
  • The video opens with Jon having David Tennant over for Jesus' birthdaynote ... and then killing Matt Smith over what he did to David in "The End of Time".note 
  • "I also have a Kim-Jong Il one; I didn't use him for the video. (draws a Hitler moustache on it)"
    • He also punches him in the face.
  • Trying to get David to say "Allons-y!"... by smacking his crotch.
  • His decision to sing "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town" as he begins cutting up Matt's body in the shower.
  • Just the fact that the video abruptly cuts from Jon jumping a duffle bag containing Matt in the river to Jon announcing he's going to Magfest.

    Comment Hate Panel 

    Home Alone 
  • The start of the review:
    Jon: Nothing like the smell of nog on Christmas Eve, eh Jacques?
    Jacques: That's racist.
    • Prior to this, we have Jon preparing his drink by cracking an egg over a glass of eggnog and using the shell as a garnish.
  • Jacques' interpretation of the term 'get nuts'.
    • Hearing Jacques' Machine Monotone voice saying "Hell yeah, boyee! Let's get nuts!"
    • There's also the adorable "Oopsie" when Jacques drops his nut.
  • Jon cooking nuts.
    Jon: (singing) I see friends shakin'-
    (A nut explodes, creating a loud pop and sparks)
    Jon: Jesus! (Continues singing) Singing how do-
    (Another nut explodes)
    Jon: Fuck!
    • Then later (a few days, or not, later) Another nut explodes.
    Jon: AH! What is it with these fucking nuts?!
  • Jon's analysis of the Home Alone face throughout each of the movies.
    • Following this, Jon's insistence that "Home Alone 5: Holiday Heist" is a masterpiece. Because it has one of the best instances of the face.
  • Jon's reaction to when the robbers start going exclusively after Kevin.
    Jon: OH JESUS HE'S IN MY HOUSE! Okay, so that's terrifying. In the movies, the villains are in it for the valuables, but here they seem to be only interested in Kevin. Where's Chris Hanson and that suspiciously benign plate of cookies when you need'em?
  • After Kevin gets caught, the Game Over screen is merely a cloud that says "Oh no!"
    Jon: Ah, yeah. That's just- that's just about right! That's appropriate, a boy is captured and will likely be found dead in the coming weeks, and all you got is "Oh no." That's good, it's a good message.
    (A newspaper appears with horrifying music, headline reading BOY FOUND IN SHALLOW GRAVE while the picture is the "Oh no!")
  • "I dunno, waddya put on goiter? SAAAAAAAAALVE!? (Beat) (begins rubbing arm) SAAAAAAAAAA-
  • Jon's sudden excitement at being able to powerslide in-game, and getting caught up trying to name powerslide scenes.
    Jon: Yeah! Pete Townshend! Risky Business! End Of Platoon! [Beat] Risky Business again!
  • Jon's insistence that the elderly woman enemy from the NES Home Alone 2 game is a witch. Why? Her jump arch is a parabola.
    Jon: Only a witch can pull off a parabola of this nature.
    • Jon's pronunciation of witches: "HHOI-tches!"
  • The cartoonish mobster in the SNES version.
    Jon: Who is this cartoon mobster here, and why does nobody care that he's in my house? Is he just a weird family member? Is he my dad? Is that my- Is that my game dad?
  • The sound the water gun makes in the SNES version of the game.
  • Jon saying the mobster in the Game Boy Home Alone game becomes Michael Jackson Moonwalker when you shoot him, complete with 16-bit Smooth Criminal.
  • Jon pointing out the high-as-balls teddy bear in Home Alone 2 for the SNES.
  • Home Alone on the PS2, with its atrocious artwork and little connection to the film.
    Jon: Oh! OH! Are you serious? Is that something that someone who calls them-self a professional artist made and handed it to their boss and the boss went "Yeah, that looks good, do that."
    "Yeah, that looks good, do that." -Someone bad at life
    Jon: Don't you remember these iconic characters from the film? Kelly? Carl? Carly? My-My favorite scene with them was this one.
    (Explosions)
  • How the review ends: after Jon finds some good Home Alone gamesnote , Jon tries to wake up Culkin from the stove corn... only for a realization to occur:

    Bootleg Pokemon Games 

    Foodfight 

    Conan the Barbarian 
  • Starting off the video reenacting the famous scene from the movie.
    Jontron! What is best in life?
    Jontron: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.
    Wow, I was gonna say a day at the beach, but what did you say? Something about maiming? Jesus Christ!
  • After summing up Conan's backstory, Jon enthusiastically blurts out this while he is not even facing the camera:
    Jon: That's fuckin' metal as fuck, dude!
  • Jon's reaction to the one long note on the Conan: Hall of Volta title screen.
    • Conan: Hall of Volta, "presented by a bunch of white guys named Eric".
    • Seeing that one of the characters in Hall of Volta is an "Avian Ally," Jon tries to call Jacques over, but then remembers he left him upstairs. It then cuts to Paul Ritchie coming into Jon's house with life saving medicine, and getting killed by lasers fired by Jacques.
      • His reactions to some of the unhelpful Game Over messages.
    Your struggles are in vain.
    (The screen zooms in on the message and starts turning red.)
    Jontron: Who wrote this game, Nietzsche?
    You beat a heated retreat...
  • During his review of the MS-DOS game, his over-the-top reaction to an attractive woman leaning out a window with her cleavage showing.
  • His increasingly enraged rant about the NES game's ridiculously cryptic gameplay, which he finishes by uttering Chevy Chase's immortal line:
    "HALLELUJAH! HOLY SHIT!!"
    • Before that is his rant about the controls.
      Jon: But you better make sure that you hit A and then down a bit after that, because if you just hit down you'll jump to a fiery death because DID I MENTION THAT DOWN ALSO FUCKING LONG JUMPS?! *furious* WHO DID IT? WHY'D THEY DO IT? ARE THEY- ARE THEY STILL ALIVE? Can I go kill them? Let's go do that right now.
  • The ending of the episode ends with Jon playing a modern Conan game that he actually likes, when it suddenly cuts to Jon pointing at a jar of horseradish.
    Jon: (talking very fast) There's a jar of horseradish up there I don't know what it is but its scary.
    (Epic music plays while the camera zooms in on it.)

    Diablo III Hardcore! 

    Takeshi's Challenge 
  • What Jon surmised after the famous Takeshi Kitano tried his hand at video game design.
    Jon: After that, the sea floor split open and swallowed the Caribbean. Earthquakes ravaged the west coast of America and goblins were still really, really scary! (cut to Jon) Ew, I don't like 'em! I don't like goblins! ...Waaaaugh!
  • When he finally begins showing off the game:
  • A small bit of humor: when Jon is made aware of the Famicom's small controller cord length, he tugs at it for a few seconds, says "Fuck it.", and grabs the whole thing.
  • Prior to starting the game proper, Jon decides to show off an... unusual Non-Standard Game Over. Which can be done by punching the man at the password screen.
  • After getting yelled at by the video game boss:
    Jon: Oh, yeah? You gonna yell at me? Well, this is a video game, I can do what I want! (punches the boss)
  • Jon gets the first hint that the game isn't quite going to be a thrilling, saccharine ride.
    Jon: (notices a sales chart that bottoms out past the bottom of the graph) (voice trailing off as the music gets distorted) Oh... Merry Christmas, Japan, 1986...
    • Even better is that he stopped the game character in such a way that he has the silliest face.
  • His reaction to the "Grilled Mormons" shop:
    Jon: Grilled Mormo—Mor—MORMONS?! Oh what's going on, I had no idea it was okay to eat those guys... I better be sure to check the Broble to see if that's okay.
  • "Also, I'd just like to point out that THERE IS A LICENSED NINTENDO GAME WITH DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN IT!!!"
    • And then he follows that up by showing that you can murder your in-game children.
  • Jon putting on a suit to properly play the game, backed up by a remix of his theme.
    Jon: Let's beat Takeshi at his own game, goddamn it!
    • Before that, there was this:
    Jon: Now, at this point most people would do this:
    cut to him dropping the Takeshis Challenge cartridge into the trash, and then dropping a lighter into the trash, setting it aflame
    Jon: *wielding a Crucifix* OUTTA THIS HOUSE! OUTTA THIS HOUSE!
    Jon: *now burning incense* Spirits begone from this house!
  • Jon makes a revelation late into the game.
    Jon: Y'know, It's only just dawned on me right now, but do you realize that this is a Nintendo game in which you quit your job, divorce your wife, and go treasure hunting? ... TEN OUTTA TEN. TEN OUTTA TEN, HUNDRED OUTTA HUNDRED. BEST GAME. BEST GAME.
  • His reaction to the game's ending: Writing a letter to Takeshi Kitano asking him why he made Takeshi's Challenge, even saying he's going to mail the letter when he's finished recording, in the letter. In Japanese.
  • "*unintelligible* Bad game! Two outta ten!" (flashing GameSpot logo accompanied by heavy metal)
  • "Never in my life have I said 'God damn it, I shot the wind again!' And meant it."

    CONKER IS TOTALLY BACK GUYS 

    California Games 
  • The opening of the episode.
    Jon: Oh my God! Summer's almost here! But I haven't lost my winter weight!
    [Jon glances over to a bikini hanging up in his closet]
    Jon: Ahh! I can't look. Jacques, what am I gonna do to lose all this weight?
    Jacques: Stop inventing and eating things like cheesecake pizza.
    Jon: Oh, that was in the past, Jacques, cheesecake pizza's in the past! I suppose I should bring up your shortcomings as well! [Jon nonchalantly bites into a piece of cheesecake pizza]
  • This part:
    Jon: California Games was made to capture and emulate the rhythms of the sun-bleached Pacific Coast. [snapping into his New York accent] If- First up, traffic on da 405 freeway, HA!
  • The way Jon puts the game into the NES: he places it on a skateboard, which zooms toward the NES, and the game just hops into the slot.
  • "Waddya- Waddya like? STREET HOCK?"
  • Jon laughs at how the girl in the roller-skating game trips over anything...well, almost anything:
    Jon: This girl falls over everything. Cracks in the cement, tiny tufts of grass in the sidewalk, sand particles.
    (The girl successfully skates over a chalk drawing in the sidewalk.)
    Jon: Oh, she made it over the chalk on the floor. Gotta be honest...didn't expect her to clear that one.
  • For some weird reason, Alcatraz Island is in the background of one of the games, which Jon proceeds to riff on.
    Jon: Oh man, I mean, when I think of the beauty and majesty of California, the first thing, the first thing I think of is the maximum security correctional facilities. Gotta see it.
  • This little moment.
    Jon: It seems to me that this is a perfect representation of California sportery. (Beat) IF YA SUCK!
  • Jon playing the frisbee game:
    Jon: [Trying to catch the frisbee and speaking in a bored, slurred voice] I'm gonna get it... I'm gonna get it... I'm gonna get it!... [the frisbee hits the ground] Oh no, I didn't get it.
  • Jon reads a text bubble that says "Let's drop in on a grommet." His over-the-top response is hilarious.
    Jon: Oh! "Grommet"! I used to say it all the time back in Cali! You couldn't STAP me sayin' dis word! "Grommet" dis! "Grommet" dat! Da FUCK DOES GROMMET MEA-
    • This joke comes back when Jon sees some graffiti in the skateboarding part of the game.
    Jon: "Vertical Hunger." Yes, absolutely. Because Horizontal Hunger IS FOR GROMMETS!
  • Jon's reaction to one of the graffiti phrases in the game.
    Jon: Oh, and all our favourite Cali phrases are here too, such as "The Most Smooth", "Raaad" and "Sw-" ohhh... "S-"... "Swood"? DEY JUST COULDN'T STAP ME! I'M GOIN' ALL UP ON DA ROOFTOPS, SWOOD DIS! SWOOD DAT! [leans back] Just...fuck it, y'know? I don't give a shit, it's a fuckin' show... [pulls down part of the lighting] What's the...fuckin' light.
  • Jon decides he doesn't need these depressing-ass games, and goes to have fun by himself outside... what follows isn't something that can be put into words, but it's most definitely a jewel of Cringe Comedy.
    • What can be said is this: Jon's gleeful laughter doubles as both a Crowning Moment of Funny and a Most Wonderful Sound.
  • His reactions to how dark and graphic the death scenes are.
    • The fact there even are death scenes in a game like this. Especially the skateboard one. In Jon's words:
      *Shocked laughter* ...I died! For real, funeral and all!
  • Whilst playing the surfing game, a shark appears:
    Jon: That is the cutest goddamn shark I've ever seen, I love him and he's mine now.
    • When Jon wipes out, we are treated to a scene of the surfboard washing up on shore, with music implying that the surfer died. Now, this isn't funny (and neither is Jon going to the bathroom and looking at himself in the mirror in shock)... but what is is that apparently, if you wait long enough, the upbeat level music starts back up again. Cue Jon Corpsing.
  • The Stinger:
    Jontron: But to keep-
    Jacques: SQUAWK!
    Jontron: But to keep the show free and-... but, to-
    Jacques: SQUAWK!
    (Beat)
    Jontron: ...but, to keep the show-
    Jacques: SQUAWK!
    Jontron: ...are you fucking serious?

    How to Play Valiant Hearts 
  • Despite being a sponsored video, the Valiant Hearts video is still unbelievably hilarious.
    • Prince Franz Ferdinand:
    Narrator: After the assassination of Prince Franz Ferdinand...
    Jon: That's horrible, I don't like that band that much anyway, though.
    • The first in-game step:
    Jon: First step: Don't g- don't go to war. Not a good idea.
    • Later...
    Jon: I don't even have to listen to you, do I? You're just gonna keep doing that, alright, I'm going the other way [turns around, walks away from building] Fuck this, I'm not doing the war, fuck you! Yeah, step four, didn't change, don't go to war! I'm serious! Get outta here, this is not- this is- [reaches invisible wall] oh nooo...! [beat] Step 5: You gotta go to war.

    Titenic 
  • Jon briefly goes over a computer game based off the Titanic which Jon describes as having that "old, quirky, 90s' PC game vibe", complete with cutscenes that involve cutouts of live-action people animated in a surreal manner. During these cutscenes, Jon is actually seen in one of them, digitally edited in unexpectedly well.
    Man on ship: It is good to see you up and about; you've been in your cabin the whole voyage.
    Jon: I bought the ticket, I'll do what I want!
  • The title, Titenic, isn't a typo. The second game he plays is deliberately named "Titenic" to avoid copyright, even though they directly stole the likenesses of the film's two leads.
    Jon: Oh my God, what is that?!
  • His reaction to the fighting:
    Jon: Oh, the first thing when I saw the movie, the first thing I said out the theatre, I interrupted the whole group, I said... "Where's the fightin'?"
  • Apparently, chefs are natural pacifists according to Jon...
  • His great Meat Loaf impersonation when he first loads Titenic up.
  • "Man, 1910 times were weird."
    • "Man, 1910 times were scary!"
  • The healing items in Titenic are lobsters and wine. Cut to Jon in a stereotypically fancy outfit, complete with monocle:
    Jon: The bourgeois-iest of beat-em-ups!
  • His referring to an enemy as "a mix between Mr. T and Donatello from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles."
  • The ending:
    Jon: Yeah I don't think it's gonna work... But I got one for you better! Schindler's List: HD Remix!
  • Now, how would you expect Jon to play these two games in this episode? If you said by putting them in his Famicom and then dropping the Famicom into his fishtank, then you're clearly aware of Jon's shenanigans by now.
  • Jon's reaction to the very existence of the first game is somewhat hypnotic.
    Jon: Titanic came out in 1997, I mean the N64 and the PS1 were already out, who was this meant to be marketed to, really? Moms? Kids. Anyone. ICEBERG FANS. Anyone at all?! *Turns to face someone off-camera* Would you buy that?! None a'yall would'a buy that, you're not fuckin' stupid!
Jesse CoxFunny/WeboriginalJosh Scorcher

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