Funny / JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stone Ocean

As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked as per policy. You Have Been Warned.

That wet head wouldn't last a minute on our turf. Dry land.

The series isn't called JoJo's Bizarre Adventure for nothing, and even with how dramatic this Part ultimately ends up being, there's still breathing room for the hilarious and absurd to squeeze their way in.

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• Jolyne's first appearance... Banging her head against a bed within a prison cell and wishing to die after a guard that looked like Tom Cruise saw her getting off. The anime makes this even more bizarre by having Jolyne mention that the moonlight turned her on for some reason. And Ermes can't help but to react with the traditional "Oh my God!". Even if Joseph Joestar is not present, you can't seem to escape "Oh my God" in the show.
• Any scene involving Loccobarocco and his alligator puppet Charlotte.
• During a full cavity search, Jolyne begins to pose like a model and going on all-fours shaking her ass at them. The two female cops don't seem to mind.
• In the anime adaptation, as Gwess is taking the now-shrunken Jolyne back to their cell, what does she do before chucking her in there? ...Scold her set to the tune of Dolly Parton's "Jolene".
• A bit of Black Comedy: Jotaro and Jolyne are trapped in the visitation room by White Snake's paralytic acid. What does Jotaro do to help them escape? Has Jolyne summon Stone Free and move her closer to him, and then punches her in the face, sending her flying into the control panel for the door and freeing her in the process.
• Ermes tries to cheer up Thunder to keep him from electrocuting himself.
  Ermes: Whenever someone says "This Monday was a bad day," they'll say to themselves that, "Saturday will be better." That's how we continue to live! No one lives a life of only Mondays!
  Thunder: I was arrested on a Saturday.
  Ermes: (stunned silence)
  • Ermes saves McQueen from hanging himself. McQueen says he owes her one, and that he will pay her back one day, making Ermes flustered... Only to immediately try to drown himself afterwards.
  • Even funnier: Ermes offered Thunder her panties. And he was actually interested, too (if only for a moment)!
• How does F.F. hide the Star Platinum disc? Enlarge their breasts and hide it in the cleavage.
• To provide context for the page image: F.F. is still getting used to inhabiting a human body, and they need water to survive, so they bring a large cup full of water with them everywhere they go. When some random prisoner takes the cup and drinks from it. Big mistake. F.F. shoots some plankton into his mouth and forces him to regurgitate what he just drank, only to be overjoyed to see that there's more "water" in the cup afterwards.
• While under the effects of Jumpin' Jack Flash, Jolyne and Weather Report encounter more trouble.
  Jolyne: I... I don't know why this happened so suddenly, but, uh, you know it could happen to anyone! Even the pope probably doesn't have control over this!
  Weather Report: What are you talking about?
  Jolyne: You know, There's that thing, "number 1" and "number 2", has to do with bowel movements, the one that starts with a P! I might do it in my pants! I'm really glad it's not "number 2", but it's still a natural urge! It must have something to do with zero-gravity. If we don't solve this, it's gonna be bad, in a different sense!
  • The sheer fact that Weather Report was so nonchalant about telling Jolyne that he just took a piss and where the piss droplets were.
  • After beating the hell out of Lang Ranger, Jolyne dumps him in a clothing bin. The fact that she did this so the guards wouldn't sound the alarm at the sight of a bloody, unconscious dude doesn't negate this.
  • Pucci has Whitesnake point a handgun at Savage Garden: a literal pigeon◊(no, not a pigeon-shaped Stand or anything, just a regular pigeon) sent to get Jotaro's Stand Disc.
  • When Jolyne gets shot, an injured Weather Report calls down a rain of poisonous frogs to save her. Pucci gets caught in the middle of it while locked outside a gate in the courtyard and starts counting prime numbers to calm himself.
    Pucci: 23, 28... no, it's 29... Dammit! The filthy frogs are clinging to my 800 dollar pants!
  • Take note that this is happening to the Big Bad, especially considering what happens at the end of the story.
• Jolyne giving Foo Fighters advice on how to deal with the other prisoners cutting her in line during lunch.
  Jolyne: Just say, "Don't cut me, Bitch!"
  • F.F. disagrees and just decides changing themselves would cause others to accept her. So they decides to do the opposite of what she's been doing. This extends contemplating on the opposites of food. Jolyne's not even phased and just plays along.
    F.F.: What's the opposite of coffee? Something's that's not coffee...
    Jolyne: (beat) ..Tea?
    F.F. Right! Tea! Atroe's body says it wants to drink coffee, so I'm gonna ask for tea.
  • Then the lunch lady gets on it.
    Lunch Lady: Opposite of pork is salmon. A pig lives lazily, but a salmon opposes the river's current and conquers it!
    F.F.: (with a wide grin on their face) I like it!
  • As for the cutting in line, F.F. does the opposite of Jolyne's advice ("'Don't fuck with me!' It's faster!") and gives more prisoners permission to cut her... which leads to them cutting each other in line and starting a brawl.
    Jolyne: Oh, hey! Open line! Keep on going!
• Sports Maxx becomes an invisible zombie after getting killed by Ermes. Something he doesn't notice when he tries to bribe a guard and hits on a female prisoner. Speaking of her, she kicked another male prisoner in the gut for touching her... which Sports is guilty of.
  • Believing that the prisoner did touch her (without paying) and still not figuring out that he's invisible, Sports decides to be a gentleman and drags his body out into the cemetery to take any cash he kept hidden.
  • The girl's complete obliviousness to an invisible force magically taking out money from the conscious man's sleeve and stripping him naked, believing that he's the one doing it despite not using his hands and floating in the air!
    Girl: Whoa! Why the hell are you stripping!? You mean you wanna do it with me here?! Right here, right now?! Hey, hey! You know there's a cemetery back there, right?! […] H-hey! Stop spreading you legs! Gimme a break! I'm not into weird fetishes like that!
  • "Those resurrecting from darkness, Limp Bizkit... rise and come with me..."
• The fact that the English localizations originally changed Limp Bizkit's name to Flaccid Pancake. Some even prefer this name over the original, or even its other localized name "Limp Viscuit"; it's just that amazing.
• Pucci uses Whitesnake to put a normal CD in Guccio, turning the latter into a human loudspeaker. Pucci's response? Close his eyes reverently and open his arms wide in praise.
  Pucci: Wonderful! Give due praise to this deep emotion!
  • For some added context, note that this happens after Anasui uses Guccio’s ribs as a trap against D an G. Pucci put a CD into Guccio’s half-dead mangled body.
• Anytime Anasui tries to get a sweet moment with Jolyne; they're either just happenstance that he interprets as romantic opportunities or absurdly contrived set-ups by the man himself (such as getting F.F. to trip Jolyne just so she'll fall into his arms); either way, they usually end at his expense.
  • Anasui attempts to propose to Jolyne in the car while they're driving away from the prison. It's interrupted when Ermes and Jolyne notice the crocodiles on the side of the road and start yelling at them, and Jolyne chucks the ring Anasui was about to give her out the window thinking it was a rock. The best part is she doesn't even realize what Anasui was trying to do and the poor dude is heartbroken.
  • Even moreso when Anasui reveals he's going to rescue Jolyne from the maximum-security building because he fell in love with her, F.F. gives us this amazing dumbfounded expression◊.
• In a flashback during "Guard Westwood's Secret", Pucci asks Dio what was the weakest Stand he ever encountered. Dio proceeds to give a dramatic, philosophical speech about how the idea of strength and weakness is subjective where Stands are concerned. Pucci then corrects himself, and asks the megalomaniacal vampire to lower his perspective to that of children arguing over Sylvester Stallone or Jean-Claude Van Damme getting in a fight. Dio then bluntly answers: Survivor is the worst.
• Jolyne flipping off Kenzō in four different languages.
  • When F.F. fights Kenzō, Kenzō's Stand, Dragon's Dream, tells F.F. their weak points because he's neutral and wants a "fair fight". Of course, since his power is about Feng Shui, he also included mundane info, such as:
    Dragon's Dream: Above your left ear. Right now, this spot is the ultimate red warning sign... Also, your lucky color is yellow and a picture of gold fish will bring you luck... Not that you have one at hand, but...
  • Before that, there's the lovely sight of a stand user and his stand arguing with each other when Jolyne figures out his ability.
    Kenzō: Look, Dragon's Dream! It's because you talked too much that they understand now!
    Dragon's Dream: Shut up, old man! I'm not your lackey! Shouldn't everyone know about Feng Shui?!
  • Kenzō’s utterly humiliating defeat. Anasui uses Diver Down to protect Jolyne the moment the crazed martial artist hits her. Next thing he knows, he's 10 feet up in the air and when he falls back down landing on his feet, he suddenly starts bouncing all over the place complete with a goofy sound effect. Turns out Diver Down compressed and rearranged his bones into springs. This causes him to keep bouncing around while Dragon's Dream gawks until he unceremoniously lands in a nearby bucket.
• Yo-Yo Ma. This derpy looking and obviously evil stand works by lowering one’s guard before killing them with acidic saliva. Translation? Act like a complete suck up.
  • His first meeting with Jolyne, F.F. and Anasui is pretty good too. When he tells F.F. about the different strawberries, their response?
    F.F.: Do you ever shut the fuck up?
• Jolyne, after regaining her memory, sees she wrote a note to herself that says "Don't forget to wear your panties". Her realization is priceless.
  • At the time Jolyne wrote that (along with a bunch of other notes) on her body because the effects of Miumiu's Stand. She asks Gwess if she knows who she is, and was told that she just passed, and waiting by their cell ominously staring at Jolyne. Then Jolyne turns back to Gwess and tells her to describe what she looks like.
    Gwess: She's got really pale skin, bright blonde, ratty hair. She's a whitey girly pig. She's about 175cm tall... she was wearing fishnets. And she just walked by!
    Jolyne: (looks back at Miumiu, who looks exactly how Gwess described)
• Anasui's desire to find Mickey Mouse.
  Anasui: Fuck's sake! If there’s no Mickey, this shit ain't Disney!
  • Not that Anasui's gonna be very successful, seeing as Orlando is a good 100 miles away from Port St. Lucie.
• Weather Report comes up with a way to defeat Bohemian Rhapsody, a Stand that makes characters and their stories real, which is to create your own story, of course. They just happen to be in a hurry so his character is a quick doodle of a superhero named "Put Back Man"... and the story is just he "sucks all the fantasy heroes back into their stories". The fact that he got a painting of Vincent van Gogh to draw it for him just adds a touch of absurdity to the whole thing.
• When Jolyne confronts her ex-boyfriend Romeo, the same guy who betrayed her and sent her to prison at the start of the Part, he seems remorseful. Jolyne sneaks a Kiss sticker on his tongue and overhears him giving the police false information to get them off her tail. She realizes he really has changed and was being truthful to her... only to ruin the moment by removing the sticker anyway and have the tongue violently snap back. We can hear Romeo's sudden shout of pain off-screen, and that's the last we ever see of him.
• Just the simple fact that the entire group left the task of driving both a car and a helicopter to Emporio, a literal child.
• In the English dub, Ermes refers to Rikiel as a, "bastard with a boob window."
• During Jolyne's battle with Versus, she desperately calls Emporio and asks him to help her and Ermes. However, the way she describes the situation leaves Emporio dumbfounded.
  Jolyne: (panicked) I'm inside a hole at the hospital! Ermes is on a commercial plane that crashed years ago! I'm on a fighter jet! We're about to crash! Search for ways to help us!
  Emporio: ...What?
• One scene shows the whereabouts and status of several characters during the events of Heavy Weather. Anasui's description is "Doesn't really understand what's going on. Just kind of following Weather to find Jolyne."
  • Out of context, Ermes' situation counts too.
    Touched the rainbow and for some odd reason is transforming into a snail.
  • "Pucci: Needs DIO's bone to go to heaven."
• During the car ride to Cape Canaveral, Anasui finally plans to work up the nerve to express his feelings to Jolyne and slips a ring on her finger while she is asleep; one that he claims to have saved up a hefty amount of money from his time in prison. A few seconds after, she wakes up to join Ermes in mocking the local alligators, by proxy of the gators in prison. Jolyne then throws something at one of the larger ones to scare it away. It turns that "something" was the same ring Anasui just gave to her and he freaks out.
  Anasui: (sobbing) JOLYNE! WHAT DID YOU JUST THROW?! LET ME SEE! SHOW ME YOUR HANDS RIGHT NOW!
  Jolyne: Huh? Wait, what?
  Ermes: Yo chill, what's your deal Anasui?
  Anasui: I'M TELLING YOU TO OPEN UP YOUR HANDS AND SHOW THEM TO ME IMMEDIATELY!
  Jolyne: Hey what the hell?!
  Emporio: Seriously, why are you getting so upset Anasui?
  Anasui: DID YOU REALLY JUST THROW IT? PLEASE DON'T TELL ME YOU DID! YOU DIDN'T JUST THROW IT AWAAAAAAAY!
• Later during the same car ride, Emporio asks Ermes to hold a map for him. He grabs a little bag, Ermes cups her hands expecting something small, and then Emporio dumps a whole 1990 computer into her hands.
• Anasui going from somewhat creepily explaining why he likes Jolyne so much to asking why the Green Baby is eating his hair, without changing his tone at all.
• The journalists at the end. Time may be speeding up abnormally and increasingly fast, but they're gonna show you these goddamn commercials no matter what.
• While the accelerated time is in effect, most of the consequences shown get more serious and terrifying as the effect amplifies, but in the manga, there's a short scene of a couple who take advantage of it to have sex for 4 hours straight.
• During the effects of Made In Heaven's time acceleration, we see a mangaka fretting over his rapidly approaching deadlines. When he calls his editor to ask who could even work within these deadlines, the editor responds, "Rohan Kishibe".
• Even though the creation of the new universe is a harrowing experience, the fact that everyone in the world ends up Naked on Arrival adds a little bit of levity, especially when a Green Dolphin Street Prison security guard notices that he's being filmed by the security camera and covers his crotch with his hands.
• The face of the Alternate universe Jotaro is funny in itself.
  • Even funnier when Pucci barges into the visitation room with Not-Jolyne and Jotaro (the latter aptly named "Qtaro" by the fanbase) and just spitefully sucker punches them.

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