"You ever have someone not ask for directions, but demand them? You're just walking down the street, you hear a horn, some guy's just like, "HOLLAND TUNNEL!" Like you were supposed to fax this guy directions? Suddenly, you're wasting his time!"
His bit about Boston beans:
Jim: (in Boston accent) "Yeah, beans are awesome! They're wicked awesome! The Yankees suck and Dunkin' Donuts raaahhhhhhhcks! Dunkin' Donuts! Dunkin' Donuts!" Some people like Dunkin' Donuts a little too much: "Dunkin' Donuts awesome!" Uh yeah, I'm pretty sure they're just making donuts, not curing lupus.