Funny / It's a Wonderful Life

  • The first few minutes before Bedford Falls is changed to Pottersville, with the bridge warden having a particularly chill conversation with Clarence. The icing on the entire scene is the last lines of dialogue between them, which, paraphrased, goes like this:
    Clarence (to George): ASII.
    Bridge Warden: What?
    Clarence (to bridge warden): Angel, Second Class.
    (Bridge warden falls out of chair in shock and disbelief)
  • The entire sequence after George realizes Bedford Falls is back to normal again and lets the whole town know about it. Both funny AND heartwarming due to how insane with relief and happiness George is now.
    • When he finds the bank examiner and the police commissioner waiting at his house:
    Commissioner: "Mr. Bailey, I have some papers here..."
    George: (happily) "I'll bet it's a warrant for my arrest. Isn't it wonderful? I'm going to jail!"
    • Later in that same scene, as George is hugging his children, the men at the bottom of the stairs look at each other in disbelief, then one of them shrugs and prepares to take a picture.
  • "I'm all right! I'm aaalllright!"
    • If you haven't seen the movie, Uncle Billy has staggered offscreen "drunk", and at the same time a stagehand had knocked over a table of props. He ad-libbed the line to imply that he just crashed into some trash cans in his stupor, and it works perfectly.
  • "He's making violent love to me, mother!"
    • That whole scene, where Mary is doing her best to make George's visit as romantic as possible, and George keeps shooting her down.
    • They then have a huge blow-up fight and he storms out. A minute later, Mary goes to answer the phone and George suddenly comes back in:
    George: (shouting) "Forgot my hat!"
  • The scene when Mary is hiding in a bush after accidentally losing her robe. George is about to toss it back to her—but stops and says, "Wait a minute...what am I doing?" A wicked smirk appears on his face, and he proudly struts around the bush, exploiting the situation for all it's worth.
    George: This is a very interesting situation!
    Mary: Please get me my robe...?
    George: Hmm.... Man doesn't get into a situation like this every day...
    Mary: I'd like to have my robe...?
    George: ...Not in Bedford Falls, anyway....
    Mary: OUCH!—Oh...!
    George: Gesundheit.
    Mary: George Bailey—?!
    George: Warrants a little thought here....
    Mary: Give me my robe...?
    George: I mean, I've read about things like this, but I never...
    Mary: SHAME on you!—I'm gonna tell your mother on you...!
    George: Oh, my mother's way up in the corner, there....
    Mary: I'll—I'LL CALL THE POLICE!
    George: Oh, they're way downtown—they'd be on my side, too.
    Mary: Then—then—THEN I'M GOING TO SCREAM!!!
    George: Maybe I could sell tickets!
  • After serenading George and Mary on their wedding night, Bert the cop and Ernie the cab driver share a tender moment...and then Bert smacks Ernie upside the head.
  • The dance scene in the gym with the pool underneath the floor.
  • George's mother shares this conversation with her maid during George's wedding:
    Ma Bailey: First Harry, now George. Annie, we're just two old maids now.
    Annie: You speak for yourself, Mrs. B.
  • During the final scene where Annie adds her money to the pile, she adds the line,
    "I saved this money for a divorce in case I ever got a husband!"
  • George has a heart-to-heart talk with his father and tells him how great he is, then,
    George: [raising his voice] Did ya hear that, Annie?
    Annie: [behind kitchen door] I heard it; it's about time one o'ya lunkheads said it!
  • Annie is a wisecrack goldmine. When she's listening in on George and his Dad's conversation and George calls her out on it:
    George: Why don't you pull up a chair, Annie? You'll be able to hear everything that way.
    Annie: I would if I thought there'd be anything worth listening to.
    • Then before when Harry tries to kiss her:
    If you lay a hand on me, I'll hit you with this broom.
  • Every time the wooden ball on the staircase falls off. You'd think in fifteen years of marriage George would get around to fixing it, but I guess not. And then at the very end it turns Heartwarming when George actually kisses the thing, he's so happy that he has his life back.
  • The High School principal helplessly trying to regain some order after the floor cover of the gym pool was opened during the dance, until he just gives up with "Oh well" and dives in with the students. The look on his peers' faces at their colleague giving in to the chaos is priceless.
  • The scene in the Alternate Universe Nick's: "Get me, I'm givin' out wings!"
  • Joseph's reaction when Clarence is assigned to save George:
    "Poor George..."
  • Sam Wainwright, on the phone with George, tells George to have Mary to get on her other phone so he can talk to both of them.
    Mary: Mother's on the extension, we can...
    Mrs. Hatch: (hanging up the phone upstairs) I AM NOT!
  • "Ah, youth is wasted on the wrong people!"
  • At one point during George's nightmare vision, after being thrown out of the bar, Clarence looks heavenward:
    Clarence: "How am I doing Joseph? That's what I thought." (beat) "I didn't have a drink!"
  • Something about alternate universe Nick is oddly funny with how humorless he is. After getting fed up with Clarence's eccentricity:
    Nick: All right, that does it. Out you two pixies go, out the door or through the winda!