Funny / It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

Police Officer: Did he say anything before he died?
Pike: What about?
  • Mrs. Marcus always feels compelled to speak up and argue fiercely, whatever the topic. Then it is pointed out that her son-in-law "is not that good a driver"... and she remains absolutely silent.
  • Even for complete strangers, it only takes a few minutes to know Mrs. Marcus: "We'll get no place if we continue listening to this old bag!" Ironically, she was offering the most sensible deal at the moment.
    • And in a minute: "Good luck and may the best man win! Except you, lady. May you just— drop DEAD!"
      • "All right, we all agree on that..."
  • While figuring whether the treasure should be divided into four or eight shares:
    Melville: Speaking for my wife and myself, we'd be just as happy...
    Dingy: Happy with two-eighths instead of a quarter? Awfully big of you.
  • Russell mindlessly parroting his mother-in-law's words (by a habit acquired long ago, one might surmise):
    Mrs. Marcus: You're overlooking one little thing.
    Russell: Yeah, we're overlooking one little thing...
    Benjy: What little thing?
    Russell: Yeah, what little thing?
  • Pike's changing facial expressions as he's listening to the sound of his cargo falling down.
  • Pike's interactions with Meyer, all of them.
    Pike: "Somebody will stumble over the bicycle in the dark", huh? When I finish with you, they'll be stumbling over YOU in the dark!
  • Pike trashing the gas station. ALL OF IT.
    • "That's it, Irwin— we're gonna have to kill him!"
    • And the nearby police watching the whole thing in disbelief.
      "Holy jumping! They're going back for more!"
    • "My arm! You broke my arm!"
    • Then after the whole thing is over, the police move in:
      Cop: Are you fellas' alright?
      Ray: Now they show up! Where were you when we needed you?
      Irwin: Writing parking tickets, I suppose.
      Cop: (in disbelief) They're still alive!
  • The Crumps' attempts to break out of the locked store room. First the alarm fails to ring:
    Melville: The stupidest burglar in the world could come in and walk away with everything, and we can't even get out.
    • Culminating with Melville making one final attempt, destroying the staircase while he's standing on it:
    Melville: (after Monica digs him out of the rubble) "Monica...now let's forget about the door, huh?"
    • And then:
      Monica: Melville, don't go in there! You'll be killed! You'll be blown to bits!
      Melville: Monica, for heaven's sake! I just want to take a look! Why do you always imagine I can't do things for myself? Don't you think I got any sense at all? Why can't you have a little confidence in me?
      Melville: Sh! SHHHHHHH!
    • Finally, when they blew a hole in the wall with explosives and entered the adjacent crowded room through the wall:
      Melville: You see, the lock didn't work... The owners will pay for everything.
  • Russell's voice and face when he's introducing his mother-in-law to Hawthorne speaks VOLUMES.
  • Russell and Hawthorne's fight. None of their punches connect — they either duck, or just fail on their own (the final shot of them before the intermission has them aim punches at each other only for their fists to collide halfway across). Fantastic.
    Hawthorne: You're not much good without that horrible mother-in-law of yours, are you? (Russell then Eye Pokes him)
  • The climactic montage of catastrophe right before the intermission. All the set-ups come to a fantastic finish here:
    • The Crumps using extinguishers to try and put out the fire in the hardware store basement.
    • Meyer's car sinks into the "shallow" river. The musical sting as the boy waves goodbye to Meyer is the icing on the cake.
    • Russell and Hawthorne fail utterly in their attempts to beat the tar out of each other after Hawthorne's car overturns.
    • Mrs. Marcus wails to Emmeline and Pike that she is bleeding after her ride on the runaway tow truck.
    • Sylvester blubbers frantically as he speeds on his way to "save" his mother from unknown danger.
    • Benjy and Dingy scream in terror as their plane spins completely out of control and crashes through a Coca-Cola billboard.
    • A thoroughly miserable Culpeper holds two phone receivers next to each other as his daughter cries hysterically over one phone and his wife tries to talk her down by blaming Culpepper for everything over the other phone. Leading to one of Culpepper's subordinates coming in and innocently asking if there's anything wrong. Then Culpepper slowly turns to look at him.
    • ... and then a pleasant pause with some nice music while you're picking yourself off the floor.
  • The Three Stooges' wordless five-second cameo.
  • Everything about Tyler Fitzgerald and his interactions with Benjy and Dingy.
    Dingy (on seeing snoring Fitzgerald): I think he's got a cold.
    Dingy (on seeing grunting Fitzgerald): That's a head cold.
    Fitzgerald (not being able to open his eyes due to hangover): Just a minute! I can't see! Something's happened to my eyes. I can't see!
    Dingy: Must be an eye cold.
    • Benjy and Dingy are trying to make up a decent story to explain to Fitzgerald why they need to take a plane immediately:
      Dingy: Our grandmother is dying and she's sent for us. She's in Rosita Beach. She's dying and we're up here. She'd like us with her when she goes.
      Benjy: Otherwise she won't go.
    • Fitzgerald's elaborate mechanism for drinking on board. "Just press the button back there marked "booze". It's the only way to fly!"
    • Fitzgerald is leaving the cockpit to prepare himself another cocktail and asking Benjy to take over:
      Dingy: But Benjy can't fly!
      Fitzgerald: Nonsense. Anybody can fly a plane. I'm making an Old Fashioned.
      Benjy: What if something happens?!
      Dingy: I know you don't know what to do, so don't do nothing.
      Benjy: I won't do nothing!
      (cue the plane making a swirl and Fitzgerald being knocked out)
  • Benjy and Dingy in the airplane.
    Dingy: What's this coming?!
    Benjy: That's good, that's cement.

    Benjy: Dingy, don't let this worry you: we're gonna get killed.
    • And the air-control tower trying to talk them down.
    • And how about when the air control tower told them to stay calm? Dingy and Benjy become calm like they're told, but Dingy quickly snaps out of it in time to see Benjy with a goofy expression on his face serenely letting go of the controls.
      Dingy: (Dope Slaps Benjy) Not that calm, you idiot!
    • Also this exchange, when Dingy is trying to snap Benjy out of his frozen fear state:
      Dingy: (Dope Slaps Benjy a few times) Benjy don't freeze! Benjy don't freeze!
      Benjy: [Snaps out of it] You hit me!
    • There's also when the tower tells them that the person at the controls has to be the one on the radio, and Dingy tries to force the headset onto a noncooperative Benjy:
      Benjy: What, you want me to fly the plane and work the radio? What are you, the hostess?!
    • And shortly thereafter, when the control tower asks who's flying the plane:
      Dingy: Who's flying the plane? Nobody's flying the plane!
    • After the return from the intermission, there's a brief recap of where everyone is. Dingy and Benjy's scene shows the plane rolling over and over, while the unconscious pilot gets thrown about in the background.
    • Colonel Wilberforce's long and slow introduction was probably meant to reassure Benjy and Dingy, but it actually made things worse:
      Colonel Wilberforce: Men, this is Colonel Wilberforce speaking. These gentlemen here have asked me to take charge of this situation, so I immediately said that I'd be glad to take charge of it. Before I say anything else...
      Benjy: I don't think he's going to help us, Dingy!
    • And then Colonel Wilberforce's attempt to speak to them in Layman's Terms also backfired:
      Colonel Wilberforce: Now, the stick that you're holding, that is, I assume that... (Beat) Men, are you holding that stick? IS SOMEBODY HOLDING THAT STICK?! OVER!
      Benjy: What stick? Oh, the wheel! I'm holding it.
      Dingy: We're both holding it!
    • Indeed, Colonel Wilberforce is prone to choosing exactly wrong words:
    Colonel Wilberforce's voice on the radio: Just one minute more, it'll be all over. (a flabbergasted look on Benjy and Dingy's faces) I mean, it'll all be over... I mean, courage, men!
  • Russell, Hawthorne, and Mrs. Marcus are having a fight by the side of the road when Jack Benny drives by:
    Benny: Trouble? Anyone having any trouble?
    Mrs. Marcus: Yes! And we don't need any help from you!
    Benny: [offended] ...Well!
  • Joe E. Brown doing what he does best.
    "Hey! Hey! HEEEEEEY!"
  • Sylvester's girlfriend go-go dancing in a bikini, with a stone face that Buster Keaton would envy. They music they're dancing to pauses for a second, they both stop perfectly in sync, and continue once the song does, giving no acknowledgement to the ringing phone.
    • Later, on Mrs. Marcus's third attempt at calling him they're finally dancing to soft, slow music and so are able to hear the phone. Sylvester just keeps dancing to the ringer.
  • Jerry Lewis driving over Culpeper's hat, after it got thrown out the window by accident.
  • Don Knotts's cameo as an (of course) nervous driver, especially since he's paired with con-man Phil Silvers, who covers by pretending to be a secret agent ("Can you handle a gun?").
  • A wonderful quiet moment in all the noise - as they all frantically dig for the treasure, Benjy suddenly notices the unfamiliar Culpeper next to him. He stares fixedly, then Culpeper turns, stares back...and slowly breaks into a big friendly smile. Benjy slowly smiles back, then turns away with a big, goofy 'yeah, this is good' grin.
  • Mrs. Marcus in stunned disbelief at how badly her call to Sylvester has backfired, before snapping out of it. "EXACTLY LIKE YOUR FATHER! A big, stupid, muscle-headed moron!"
    • Also the moment when the other treasure-seekers foil her Victoria's Secret Compartment moment with the car keys by turning her upside down and shaking her.
  • Pretty much any time Sylvester opens his mouth due to his different manner of speaking. Particularly his last line:
    Sylvester: You could've taken a fair share like the rest of us, but no...you had to... grab up the whole scene, baby.
    • Then there's the part where he catches up with Russell and Hawthorne, whom he believes mistreated (and possibly raped) his mother. It's basically a slapstick version of No-Holds-Barred Beatdown.
      Sylvester: Are you English?! Just answer me, ARE YOU ENGLISH?!?!
      Hawthorne: Well yes, as a matter of fact I am.
      Sylvester: (starts to hyperventilate with rage)
      Hawthorne: What's the matter, don't you like the English?
      Sylvester: AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! (tosses him from a low bridge)
    • And a minute later:
    • While he's chasing them:
      Sylvester: "Boy, are you bugging me, man! It...I'm getting bugged here, woah man!"
      Sylvester: "I'm coming to save you, Momma! It's why you had me!"
  • Pike's growing enmity with Mrs. Marcus:
    Pike: Listen, anything you can say about your mother in law, you don't have to tell me! You know what I mean? It's like, if she were the star of a real crummy horror movie, I'd believe it!
  • Melville Crump assuring his wife Monica that the plane from 1916 is perfectly safe. Then it bounces off the ground a couple times before taking off properly.
    • Another pilot giving them a sign of the cross before taking off. The look on their faces is priceless.
    • The sight of the cars beneath moving faster than their plane.
  • Pretty much everything the two cab drivers say, especially the one played by Columbo.
  • The scene earlier on when everyone tries to figure out what the big W is.
  • Pike finally discovering the big W.
  • "Who're they?!" "I don't know!" "Mama this is like a convention!"
  • Mrs. Marcus whacking anybody in the crowd who tries to grab the money.
  • Every frame where Jimmy Durante is on screen.
  • Meyer's Rage Against the Heavens before driving into a river, interrupting his tirade to the kid to simply look up and shout "Why? WHY!?!?"
  • The whole final chase sequence, where the thirteen treasure hunters pile into two cabs to chase down Culpeper. Poor Pike keeps almost getting left behind.
  • The miner 'convincing' Mr. Meyers to help him bring medicine to his wife:
    Miner: "LISTEN! Don't force me to get ROUGH!" (rips off the steering wheel).
    • And it's obvious he's trying to be reasonable, too.
    (Beat) Oh, I'm, uh... sorry about the car.
  • Mrs. Marcus's Eureka Moment: She, Russell, and Emmeline, are being given a ride by Col. Hawthorne. Everything is perfectly calm and quiet, then:
  • "I said it before and I'll say it again...I didn't wanna move to California."
  • Culpeper's wife trying to have her daughter speak to Culpeper on the phone (while he's listening): "Don't be ridiculous. Whatever else he is, he is your father".
  • The final chase, that ends in a fire truck ladder and prime cut slapstick.
  • As you could see, there are scads of them, but the Banana Peel example ends the film on a truly classic note.


http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Funny/ItsAMadMadMadMadWorld