Funny / Howard the Duck

The Comic

  • The 2015 run has a new tagline: "Trapped in a World He's Grown Accustomed To!"
  • Howard's receptionist is a stack of newspapers and a paper bag with a face on it.
  • His advertisement at the movies.
    Advertisement: Who is he? He's trapped in a world he never made.
    Moviegoer: Larry David?
    Advertisment: Who is he? He's a duck.
    Moviegoer: Donald!
    Advertisement: He's Howard the Duck, private investigator.
    Howard: If it's lost, I'll find it. If he's cheating on you, I'll find his *BLANK* *BLANK* in a *BLANK* or a *BLANK*, guaranteed.
    Advertisement: (555)-Duk-Dick, 68 Jay Street, Brooklyn. (If you've passed a She-Hulk, you've gone too far. Do not talk to the She-Hulk). No Website. Not even a tumblr.
    Moviegoer: Never heard of him.
  • A scene from the classic comics had Howard duck into a bus during a monster chase. The hispanic bus driver looks at Howard and exclaims You're a duck!. Howard shoots back with "And you're a stereotype! We've all got our crosses to bear!"
  • In his 2015 series, a perfectly ordinary 'find my lost cat' case winds up with the Duck Detective (and a few other folks, including Rocket Raccoon) being hunted for sport by a crazed billionaire armed with high-tech toys. Howard finds time to bemoan his Weirdness Magnet status while running for his life.
    Howard: All I wanted to do was find a stupid cat! Why is this so hard? Why is everything on this stupid planet so hard?! I can't take it. I can't take this entire planet!
    Rocket: Hey, no argument here!
  • In the second issue of the MAX series, Beverly answers the phone, expecting it to be Dr. Bong again begging her to come back to him.
    Beverly: Hi! Why don't you go fuck yourself?! (Beat) Uh...can I call you back, Mom?
  • The letters page for the final issue of the 2016 series features lyrics to a theme song for Biggs that parodies the theme song to Spider-Man (1967).
    Biggs the cat, Biggs the cat.
    He's so furry and kinda fat.
    Sits on a perch, any size.
    Is that thunder? No, it's his thighs.
    Look out!
    Here comes that big old cat.
    Is he strong?
    Listen bud,
    He'll plow through you
    To get some grub.
    Shake his treats,
    Lose a hand,
    Endless food is his demand.
    Hey there!
    There goes Biggs the cat!
    In the dead of night,
    At the foot of the bed,
    At the speed of light,
    He'll pounce onto your head.
    Biggs the cat, Biggs the cat,
    Friendly neighborhood Biggs the Cat
    Exercise he'll ignore,
    Whatever you're eating is his reward.
    To him, life is a great big banquet.
    Where there's a treat, he'll flank it.
    It is he, Biggs the caaaaat!

The Film

  • "She took my eggs."
  • Howard threatening Ginger's men with "space rabies".
  • In the beginning of the film, after things go downhill following his arrival in Cleveland, Howard ends up landing onto the handlebars of a motorcycle being used by a member of a female biker gang called Satan's Sluts. Howard says "Are you ready for an incredible story?", and then the biker screams "Waste it, man!" while she and her friend try to kill Howard.
  • As a standalone skit, Howard in the unemployment office is actually pretty funny.
  • "If God had wanted us to fly, He wouldn't have taken away our wings!"