Funny / Hook

The movie stars Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, and Bob Hoskins — it's a given that each scene gets funnier the more of them are present for it. For specific examples.

  • Jack's drawing of a plane crash with him and his family wearing parachutes — except Peter, who's just falling to the shark-infested ocean.
    • The picture freaks Peter out, which didn't help him one bit when the plane is experiencing turbulence.
      Moira: You're not gonna die without a phone and fax machine.
      Peter: I'm halfway there! I've got the phone in the briefcase!
      Moira: Talk to him!
    • Maggie showed Peter the picture, pleased with her drawing, not realizing the context.
  • Tootles slamming the door in front of the Banning family because he's so excited to find that "It's snowing!" when he opens it.
    • Jack laughs, then starts choking on his gum. Peter pats him on the back.
    • This all happens immediately after Peter calls England "the land of good manners."
  • Peter's Paper-Thin Disguise of a pirate costume, complete with an eyepatch over his glasses.
  • "Don't try to stop me this time, Smee. Don't try to stop me this time, Smee, don't you dare try to stop me this time, Smeetrytostopme. Smee, you'd better get up off your arse. Get over here, Smee! Stop me! THIS IS NOT A JOKE! I'M COMMITTING SUICIDE!"
    • This wasn't the first time Hook attempted to commit suicide.
    • The novelization of the film not only makes it clear that this has happened before, but it's a game to them; Hook is so bored without Peter that he fakes suicide attempts for some excitement.
    Hook: Even this isn't as much fun as it used to be.
  • During the baseball game, a pirate fan in the bleachers shouts out that one of the pirates playing is attempting to steal second base. The player in question is then shot by the catcher.
    • The musket ball seems to travel straight through Smee to hit the player stealing second. Smee spends a few seconds trying to figure out how that happened.
    • After all of which, Hook only calls them out on the above because "they're playing by Master Jack's rules." Apparently getting shot for rules infractions is standard procedure in Neverland Pirate Baseball.
    Hook: Very violent sport, isn't it, baseball?
    • Say it with me now. Three, two, one... "MY — JACK!!!"
      • "My Jack?"
  • When Tinkerbell finds Peter after so many years and began flitting about around his head. Peter tried to swat at her with a rolled up newspaper, then to his shock, Tinkerbell actually snatches the newspaper and began smacking him with it.
  • As the final battle begins to turn for the Lost Boys, Hook yells "Smee, do something intelligent!" Cue Smee fleeing into Hook's bedroom and starting to loot the place.
    • When he first enters the cabin, he spends several seconds running in circles around a table, panicking.
      Smee: Smee. Smee. What About Smee? Smee! Smee! Smee. Smee. What about Smee? (stops in place, looking confused) Smee's me. What about ME?!
  • "I've been shot!"
  • Rufio and Peter, Volleying Insults.
    Peter: Nearsighted gynecologist.
    • Especially funny at the end, where Rufio runs out of insults and devolves to screaming, "MAN! ST-STUPID, STUPID MAN!"
    • And then it all degenerates into an equally-hilarious food fight.
  • The Lost Boys' response to Peter explaining that he's a lawyer.
    Rufio: Kill the lawyer!!
  • "I WANT MY WAR!"
    • Followed by this absolutely hilarious zinger.
    Hook: Gentlemen, I'm afraid I've decided... To cancel the war.
    • Cue the pirates all letting out a groan of disappointment.
  • Just after Peter is first revealed to Hook, the Captain tells him to draw his weapon for a duel. At this, Peter draws a chequebook to bribe him, only for Hook to promptly shoot the chequebook, hitting a pirate behind Peter.
    • Made funnier by the fact that Peter and the other pirates turn to watch the shot pirate slowly fall backwards.
  • Peter is trying to climb up to save his kids. Time for a Call-Back...
    Peter: Somebody give me a hand.
    Hook: I already have.
    Pirates: Oooooohh!
  • Maggie yelling at Hook towards the end.
    Maggie: You need a mother very, very badly!
  • Peter's rant trying to justify Tinkerbell flying in and talking to him, likely all a Throw It In! by Robin Williams on the spot.
  • This dialogue:
    Tootles: *scrounging around on the floor* Lost, lost, lost...
    Peter: Lost what?
    Tootles: *looks up, dejectedly* I've lost my marbles.
    • Peter sighs. Before they went inside, he told his kids to respect the elders, and Tootles isn't helping his case.
  • Smee tries on one of them fancy words he's heard the Captain use.
    Smee: I've just 'ad an apostrophe.
    Hook: I think you mean "epiphany."
    Smee: Lightning 'as just struck my brain.
    Hook: That must have hurt.
  • This exchange:
    Pirate: (as he and Peter cross swords) Wait... ain't you - ?
    Peter: Peter Pan.
    • And this:
      Peter: AARGH!
      Pirate: AARGH you!
      Peter: NOT BAD! YOU?
      Pirate: NOT BAD!
      Peter: ALRIGHT!
  • Tinkerbell breaking character as she pretends to be dying to get Peter onboard. "Louder, Peter!"
  • "Not being on this slingshot! That would make me very HAAAAPPPPYYYYYYYYY!!!!"
    "He's going up! He's going up!"
    (Peter crashes into the deep mud hole)
  • Let's not forget about the dinner prayer...
    Rufio: Everybody say Grace.
    Peter: Bless us, O lord -
    Lost Boys: GRACE! (everyone but Peter then pigs outnote )
  • Hook's "classroom" scene, when Maggie tells Hook that her parents love her very much.
    Hook: Love? Smee, isn't that the, uh—
    Smee: The 'L word'?
    *both shudder in horror*
    • Also, Maggie's offense at being flunked.
  • Glenn Close's memorable Large Ham cameo as a pirate who gets a morbid consequence for questioning Hook behind his back.
    Hook: You. You doubted your Captain didn't you? Yes, you made a boo-boo.
    Gutless: ... (suddenly sobbing) I did, I deed...
    Hook: The boo box.
    Gutless: WHAAAAAT?! NOOOOO!!!
  • "What is this, some Lord of the Flies preschool?!"
  • Peter de-pants Rufio in front of the Lost Boys while flying.
  • Thudbutt sitting on the bench, causing all the Lost Boys to slide towards him.
    Don't crowd me!
  • During the final fight, the lost boys arrive with a machine designed to fire eggs at people. Hook's expression is pure "What the fuck is this?!"