Funny / Histeria!

• Chit Chatterson plays a boat salesman to Ivar the Boneless, a viking who sounds like John Cleese, who is planning to invade England and has come to purchase a ship with a savage-looking figurehead. Chit shows him boats with figureheads of a kitten, a baby duck, a puppy, and a butterfly, claiming them to be a lion, a dragon, a wolf, and a hawk, respectively, and tries without success to convince his customer that these figureheads are anything but what they actually are.
  Ivar: There's nothing scary here at all, is there? It's like all your ship's figureheads are being designed by a three-year-old!
  Chit: Oh, that's just not true!
  Ivar: No?
  Chit: No! Actually, I don't think he's over twelve months. [camera pans to reveal that Big Fat Baby is designing the figureheads]
• Froggo's reactions to not being given a bag of marshmallows and a crate of leeches, and then a tambourine and a vat of spam, in "The History of Flight".
• Loud's rant to Christopher Columbus in "Around the World in a Daze":
  Columbus: Crow's nest! You see anything?
  Loud: LEMMIE CHECK, CAPTAIN! [peers through periscope] OH MY GOSH!! STRAIGHT AHEAD! YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT!
  Columbus: What is it?
  Loud: GUESS!
  Columbus: Land?
  Loud: [imitates buzzer] OH, I'M SO SORRY, NO! IT'S WATER!! YES, WATER! MILES AND MILES OF WATER! BUT WAIT! WHAT'S OVER THERE?! OH MY GOLLY! MORE WATER! WAIT! HOW ABOUT THAT THERE!? GUESS WHAT! MORE WATER! [tosses periscope away] YESTERDAY, WATER! THE DAY BEFORE, WATER! FOR THE PAST 70 DAYS, WATER! NOTHING BUT WATER! [face turns red] YOU STARTING TO GET THE PICTURE, CAPTAIN!?
  Columbus: I think the crow's nest needs a little vacation.
  • Loud Kiddington's outing as Erik The Red also gave him a funny lookout job, demonstrating how vikings kept land in sight in order to navigate.
    Loud: (quietly as crew sleeps) See it...see it...see it...<gasp> DON'T SEE IT! <crew wakes up and rows frantically> DON'T SEE IT! DON'T SEE IT! <whew> See it...See it...
    • After their journey to North America, entailing weeks if not months of being out of sight of land with Loud's ceaseless screaming...
    Viking crew: (exhausted) We saw it...we saw it...we saw it...
• Anything involving Lucky Bob. For example:
  Lucky Bob: I spy, something that begins with the letter "B".
  Cho-Cho: Blinking lights?
  Lucky Bob: Nope.
  Cho-Cho: Big moon outside window?
  Lucky Bob: No.
  Cho-Cho: Black darkness of deep outer space?
  Lucky Bob: No.
  Cho-Cho: A bagel?
  Lucky Bob: No.
  Cho-Cho: A blitz?
  Lucky Bob: No.
  Caption: 55 HOURS LATER
  Cho-Cho: A bupka?
  Lucky Bob: No.
  Cho-Cho: Big Fat Flying Baby?
  Lucky Bob: No.
  Cho-Cho: A Bob who is lucky?
  Lucky Bob: Uh... no.
  Cho-Cho: Bursting blood vessels in the astronauts' necks?
  Astronauts: TELL HER ALREADY!!
  Sammy Melman: WHAT DO YOU SPY THAT BEGINS WITH A "B"?!!
  Lucky Bob: Chocolate!
  • Makes a little bit of sense (but still not enough, considering Lucky Bob), when he probably meant bite of chocolate. The chocolate bar he showed had a big bite mark on it.
• Bill Straitman interviewing Hakon the Good about how vikings named their swords.
  Bill Straitman: Well, tell us, what is this one called?
  Hakon the Good: Oh, this one here? This is Bob! Bob the Sss-word!
  Bill Straitman: Bob?
  Hakon the Good: Right! And that's Timmy over there! And right here is Greta! Greta likes Timmy, don't you, Greta? [as Greta] "That's right! I want to marry Timmy!" [as himself] But not if Bob has anything to say about it! Right, Bob? [as Bob] "That's right! You can't marry Timmy; I want to marry you!" [as Greta] "But I love Timmy!" [as Bob] "Too bad! You're marryin' me!" [as Timmy] "Over my dead body!" says Timmy! [as Bob] "Oh yeah?!" [as Timmy] "Yeah!" [as Bob] "Well then, let's go at it!"
• Toast delivering pizza to Rene Descartes:
  Toast: Pizza's here!
  Descartes: What?
  Toast: Here's your pepperoni pizza with extra barbecue sauce, hold the anchovies.
  Descartes: I didn't order any pizza!
  Toast: Yeah ya did, I got the order right here.
  René Descartes: That is not my address; this is for Galileo. He lives in Italy.
  Toast: Well, I don't think I can get there in a half-hour or less.
• "Hi gang, Pop Quiz here! We ask several historical questions for our players then act flabbergasted at their overwhelming ignorance!"
• From the Superwriters sketch:
  Edgar Allan Poe: I've just completed a rewrite we can all be proud of! Jonathan Livingston Seagull is now a bloodthirsty vampire bat named Caroline, who is mysteriously compelled to fly into the propeller of an airplane, on the first page! [laughs evilly]
  Basho: It is still too long! [screams and slices Poe's book in half]
  • Not to mention Emily Dickinson summoning Death itself to dispatch Sappho. She then tells Death to get her some tea, and he complies!
• "Super Amazing Constitutions":
  Andrew Jackson: Now listen up! I'm General Andrew Jackson!
  Aka Pella: Oooh, are you related to Michael Jackson?
  Andrew Jackson: No! Although I do have an uncle who looks a lot like Tito. Now clear out! This here's no place for children.
  Aka Pella: It could be if you put in swings and a jungle gym.
• At the end of the sketch where Elmer Fudd, as Gutzon Borglum, and Loud, as his son Lincoln, build Mt. Rushmore:
  Elmer: Aah, finished! West and wewaxation at wast! And thanks to your help, it only took fouteen yeaws to compwete.
  Loud: Aww, you're only saying that because I'm your son.
  Elmer: No, I'm saying that because working awone, I could've finished it in six yeaws!!
  • Loud Kiddington putting Big Fat Baby's face on Mt. Rushmore.
• From Presidential People, a catchy YMCA-style number starring George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt and Thomas Jefferson as the Motorcycle Cop, the Cowboy, the Construction Worker, and the Native American.
• In the sketch about Napoleon, they have this to say about his choice to invade Russia:
  Father Time: This was called—
  Loud: A BIG MISTAKE!
• "Histeria Around The World (Part 2)" opens with a Teletubbies parody called "The Histera-tubbies" with Charity, Loud, Aka and Toast playing Skanky Wanky, Louh-Louh, Sassy, and Toe, respectively. Needless to say, their reactions to their surroundings are priceless, as well as their reaction to the sun-baby (played by Big Fat Baby).
• The Green Eggs and Ham homage with Loud and George H.W. Bush.
• Lydia Karaoke objecting to the use of "Damn the torpedoes" because you can't say "damn" on an American kids' show. The captain decides to put Lydia on a boat and send her out to sea, only for her to get hit by a torpedo and cling onto whatever was left of her ship.
  Lydia: Okay, now I know why they said "Damn the torpedoes"!
• "Great Women Of History In Group Therapy." Which includes:
  • Lizzie Borden as a raving Ax-Crazy lunatic espousing she's the O.J. of 1892. The short even ends with her chasing after everyone and trying to kill them.
  • Joan of Arc thinking Martha Washington has an Electra complex.
    Martha Washington: I'm married to the father of our country.
    Joan of Arc: But as we all know, marrying your father is illegal in most states.
  • Cleopatra as a Big Eater who casually mentions her family was so close she married her brother.
    Joan of Arc: That's close.
    World's Oldest Woman: And also illegal in most states.
  • The second installment of "Great Women of History in Group Therapy," where Margaret Thatcher fights with Evita Peron and Golda Meir and the World's Oldest Woman states that "if I wanted to see a bunch of floozies fight each other, I'd stay home and watch Jerry Springer.
• History gets around the problems of explaining why Henry VIII got fat... but just making him fat for ''all' the song.
• "My Buddy Stalin". All of it, really, but special mention to the KGB agents putting a surveillance mic in the spaghetti.
• Nostradamus' poem in "The Know-It-Alls".
  Nostradamus: Mary had a little lamb, its fleece was white as snow. And everywhere that Mary went, THERE WAS A SCARY MAN NAMED HITLER!
• Loud Kiddington's mangled version of the Pledge of Allegiance. Especially when he gets the whole crowd to recite it.
  "I pledge Ally Sheedy, to the slag, of the united skates of Emilio, and to the repugnant, for Richard Stands, one naked, undergarments, invisible man, with Liberace and puffed rice for all!"
• The scene in "The U.S. Civil War, Part 2" where the Union soldiers get annoyed by Mr. Smartypants playing the violin.
• "Theme from Taft". It's a parody of exactly what you think. Especially funny is how the song doesn't really relay very many factoids, other than Taft apparently did nothing in the oval office but play golf, eat a lot, and sleep. An annoyed Father Time asks, "Can we do a little more research before we start these things?!" and stomps off.
  Loud Kiddington: SHEESH! WHATTA GROUCH!
• "Malibu Ike", a surreal parody of Barbie commercials featuring Eisenhower in swim trunks.
• The entire sketch about how the calendar had two more months added in "Return to Rome", especially when Father Time appears to be accepting the World's Oldest Woman's suggestions to name the new months January and February, but then reveals that he actually mistook Big Fat Baby's babbling for name suggestions.
• Quite a lot of the episode "Writers of the Purple Prose":
  • Big Fat Baby's indignation at William Shakespeare not understanding his Baby Talk, followed by laughing at Shakespeare mentioning that some of his plays were comedies, crying when some others he mentions are said to be tragedies, and being cheered up when Shakespeare talks to him about sonnets.
  • When they talk about John Steinbeck's troubles in writing Of Mice and Men, he muzzles Fetch to keep him from eating the book, only to find Big Fat Baby making paper dolls from it.
  • William Blake reads aloud his poem "The Lamb", only for the whole thing to start becoming a surreal reference to Dolly the cloned sheep.
  • The entire sketch about when Samuel Johnson wrote "A Dictionary of the English Language", especially the punchline where Samuel objects to Sammy Melman's proposed cover on the grounds that it could be misleading to the reader, only for the two to share a laugh after pointing out that most people in their time are illiterate.
• "Communuts":
  • Pepper Mills has an interview with Vladimir Lenin where she confuses him with John Lennon of The Beatles. Every time Lenin tries to get it through to Pepper that he's not who she thinks he is, she keeps Comically Missing the Point.
  • The dramatic reenactment of the Cold War... which is just the kids having a Snowball Fight.
• The Rosa Parks sketch from "Heroes of Truth and Justice". All of it. To wit:
  • Miss Information's narration is interrupted by Forrest Gump sitting on the same bench as her. She is annoyed by his sudden appearance and shoos him off.
  • Rosa Parks (a black American) is demanded to move to the back of the bus she's in when a white American goes on board...except it's occupied by Big Fat Baby and nearly everyone from the Kid Chorus who are being rowdy in general.
    1. Big Fat Baby is rollerskating along the narrow aisle. Everyone is confused by his antics.
    2. Toast is rocking out on his electric guitar. Cho-Cho is enjoying it thoroughly, and asks if his rocking has a name. She even comments she would change her name to Yoko Ono and be a singer when she grows up. And then, Toast's guitar explodes.
       Toast: Oh, man! That's the third time this week!
    3. Aka and Froggo are engaged in a spitball fight. It ends up escalating such that water balloons are involved, which causes Lucky Bob to become a sitting target. He just shrugs it off, unplugs his nose and lets whatever water that got in to be released. Froggo at one point charges towards Aka but is repelled by a water balloon, only to renew his attack in a deep sea swim suit and a snorkel.
    4. Speaking of Lucky Bob, he later engages in one kinda funny moment when he eats some gum under his seat and thinks it's delicious.
    5. Pule Houser is sick from eating too much food such that he continuously regurgitates. A lot.
       Pule: If hotdog soup wasn’t bad enough, why did I have to top it off with seconds on the Liverwurst Surprise?!? (throws up)
    6. Pepper Mills approaches Rosa Parks for her autograph, thinking she's Whitney Houston. Her reaction throughout her part is priceless. Oh, and she's doing some metal shop homework later on, which involves using a welding blowtorch on the metal pole on the bus.
    7. Loud sings "99 Bottles of Root Beer on the Wall" at the top of his lungs. Charity apparently dislikes the song, but when she tells him to shut up, Loud forgets where he was and has to start over, forcing Charity to tolerate his singing.
       Loud Kiddington: ♫ You take one down, pass it around; 27 bottles of Root Beer on the wall! 27 bottles of Root Beer on the wall, 27 bottles of Root Beer! ♫
       Charity: (covering her ears) La-la-la-la-la, I'm not listening!
    8. Apparently, the kids' antics in the bus has terrorized everyone in there, because during Father Time's narration after Rosa Parks leaves the bus, everyone, including the bus driver, frantically evacuates the vehicle.
  • After Miss Information and Father Time finish their parts ("And you know what that means..."), we return to the bus, where Cho-Cho's yelping to Toast's rocking, Loud, Aka, Froggo and Charity pair up for a water gun battle (with a stray shot hitting the bus driver), Pepper is doing more metal welding, Lucky Bob think's he's a walrus with two pencils up his nose, Big Fat Baby is still rollerskating and Pule is still vomiting.
• The apollo 13 segment of "Histeria goes to the moon". After Miss Information leads a tour with the baby, The world's oldest woman, Cho-cho, and Lucky Bob onto the ship as it blasts off, the crew tells them to simply sit off to the side and sing to themselves. Cut to the five singing "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves!"
• "The Invasion Song" is, as the title suggests, a song about how the various countries and regions invaded one another. It seems to take a middle ground not focusing on one country for too long...and then we get to Germany:
  "The Germans invaded the French. The Germans invaded the Czechs. The Germans invaded the Netherlands, and they invaded North Africa next. The Germans invaded the Balkans, and they almost invaded in Spain, along with the Soviet regions, the Poles and Norwegians, The Belgians, The Brits, and the Danes!"

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