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** The fact that ''all four teachers'' stayed through the entire scene unfolding before them

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* Specifically, the comparison between Ron and [=McLaggen=] handling their [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything broomsticks]].
** '''Ginny:''' [[BigShutUp SHUT IT!!!]]

to:

* The Quidditch tryouts. Specifically, the comparison between Ron and [=McLaggen=] handling their their...[[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything broomsticks]].
** * Ginny acting as Harry's 2nd in command. When he fails to get everybody to listen to him, she steps in:
-->
'''Ginny:''' [[BigShutUp SHUT IT!!!]]IT!!!]]
-->'''Harry''': Thanks.



-->'''Lavender''': Where is he? Where's my [[EpicFail Won-Won]]? Has he been asking for me? ...What's [[TheSmartGuy SHE]] doing here?!
-->'''Hermione''': I was asking the same question!
-->'''Lavender''': I ''happen'' to be his ''girlfriend''!
-->'''Hermione''': I happen to be his... [[JustFriends friend]].[[note]] And future wife.[[/note]]
-->'''Lavender''': Don't give me that! [[SilentTreatment You haven't spoken in weeks!]] It's nice to make up with him now that he's suddenly all ''interesting''!
-->'''Hermione''': He's been ''[[TamperingWithFoodAndDrink poisoned]]'', you daft dimbo! And for the record, I've always found him interesting!
-->'''Ron''': *groans*
-->'''Lavender''': Ha! See? He senses my presence! Don't worry, [[EpicFail Won-Won]]! I'm here... I'm here!
-->'''Ron''': ...Hermusseh... Er-my-nee... Her...mione... Hermione... Hermione...
-->'''Lavender''': *runs off crying*



--->'''Lavender:''' I happen to be his girlfriend!\\
'''Hermione:''' I happen to be his... friend.[[note]] And future wife.[[/note]]
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'''Harry''': [[CaptainObvious But I]] ''am'' TheChosenOne.\\

to:

'''Harry''': '''Harry''': (''somewhat smugly'') [[CaptainObvious But I]] ''am'' TheChosenOne.\\

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-->'''Ron:''' Final score was three-hundred-and-twenty to sixty.
** And Harry's response.
--->'''Harry:''' [[SarcasmMode Brilliant! Really brilliant!]] When I get hold of [=McLaggen=]--\\

to:

-->'''Ron:''' Final score was three-hundred-and-twenty to sixty. \n** And Harry's response.\n--->'''Harry:''' \\
'''Harry:'''
[[SarcasmMode Brilliant! Really brilliant!]] When I get hold of [=McLaggen=]--\\



-->Slughorn's watery eyes slid over Harry's scar, this time taking in the rest of his face.\\

to:

-->Slughorn's --> Slughorn's watery eyes slid over Harry's scar, this time taking in the rest of his face.\\



"My mother's eyes, yeah." Harry had heard it so often he found it a bit wearing.

to:

"My mother's eyes, yeah." Harry had heard it so often [[NeverHeardThatOneBefore he found it a bit wearing.wearing]].



-->'''Harry:''' I'll just take a mouthful. Two or three hours should do it.
-->'''Ron:''' It's a great feeling when you take it. Like you can't do anything wrong.
-->'''Hermione:''' ''(laughing)'' What are you talking about? You've never taken any!
-->'''Ron:''' Yeah, but I ''[[PlaceboEffect thought]]'' I had, didn't I? Same difference really...

to:

-->'''Harry:''' I'll just take a mouthful. Two or three hours should do it.
-->'''Ron:'''
it.\\
'''Ron:'''
It's a great feeling when you take it. Like you can't do anything wrong.
-->'''Hermione:'''
wrong.\\
'''Hermione:'''
''(laughing)'' What are you talking about? You've never taken any!
-->'''Ron:'''
any!\\
'''Ron:'''
Yeah, but I ''[[PlaceboEffect thought]]'' I had, didn't I? Same difference really...

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Why does everybody seem to use "infer" to mean "imply"? They're opposites!


* When Fleur at first tells Mrs. Weasley that Bill will still love her after he was attacked by Greyback, and then when she does understand what Mrs. Weasley was inferring, raves about how she doesn't care about how Bill looks and that she's "Good looking enough for the both of [them]".

to:

* When Fleur at first tells Mrs. Weasley that Bill will still love her after he was attacked by Greyback, and then when she does understand what Mrs. Weasley was inferring, implying, raves about how she doesn't care about how Bill looks and that she's "Good looking enough for the both of [them]".


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* Upon returning from Christmas, the Gryffindors find out that the new dormitory password is ''"abstinence."'' And no, it's not because of the teenage romance shenanigans that have been going on the entire book. Hermione explains that the Fat Lady and her friend Violet drank all the wine in ''a portrait of drunk monks'' over the Winter Break, implying that the password is referring to [[AccidentalInnuendo abstinence from alcohol specifically.]]
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'''Snape:''' You just... ''know.''

to:

'''Snape:''' You just... ''know.'' '' Once again, [[StealthInsult you astonish me with your gifts, Potter]]. Gifts mere mortals could only dream of possessing. [[CantArgueWithElves How grand it must be, to be the Chosen One]].

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* Dumbledore playfully scolding Harry for not following the Ministry's idiotic advice leaflets, and making sure he was an imposter, by asking his favorite type of jam ("raspberry, by the way.") Then he adds that if he ''were'' a Death Eater impersonating himself, learning his favorite jam types would've been the first thing he'd do.

to:

* Dumbledore playfully scolding Harry for not following the Ministry's idiotic advice leaflets, and making sure he was an imposter, by asking his favorite type of jam ("raspberry, by the way.") "). Then he adds that if he ''were'' a Death Eater impersonating himself, learning his favorite jam types would've been the first thing he'd do.do.
* After Harry gets to the Weasleys' house, Arthur insists on following the silly Ministry protocols when he gets home from work. Molly is clearly exasperated by this, partly because of the specific questions they use. Harry proceeds to start eating as loudly as possible so he can pretend like he didn't hear Molly's EmbarrassingNickname.

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* Dumbledore playfully scolding Harry for not following the Ministry's idiotic advice leaflets, and making sure he was an imposter, by asking his favourite type of jam ("raspberry, by the way.") Then he adds that if he ''were'' a Death Eater impersonating himself, learning his favourite jam types would've been the first thing he'd do.

to:

* Dumbledore playfully scolding Harry for not following the Ministry's idiotic advice leaflets, and making sure he was an imposter, by asking his favourite favorite type of jam ("raspberry, by the way.") Then he adds that if he ''were'' a Death Eater impersonating himself, learning his favourite favorite jam types would've been the first thing he'd do.



'''Hermione:''' ''(gives Harry a scandalised look)''

to:

'''Hermione:''' ''(gives Harry a scandalised look)''scandalized look)''
* Harry also tells Kreacher to stalk Malfoy, and he gets as ludicrously specific as possible in order to make Kreacher actually do what he wants. Kreacher fails to find any LoopholeAbuse, and clearly isn't happy about it.



** Harry mentally notes that Dumbledore seems to be having way too much fun trolling the Dursleys.



'''Ginny:''' A Pygmy Puff, but I didn't say where.\|

to:

'''Ginny:''' A Pygmy Puff, but I didn't say where.\|\\

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-->'''Vernon:''' WILL YOU GET THESE RUDDY THINGS OFF US?
-->'''Dumbledore:''' Oh, I'm sorry. (Vanishes the glasses) But it would have been polite to drink them, you know.

to:

-->'''Vernon:''' --->'''Vernon:''' WILL YOU GET THESE RUDDY THINGS OFF US?
-->'''Dumbledore:'''
US?\\
'''Dumbledore:'''
Oh, I'm sorry. (Vanishes the glasses) But it would have been polite to drink them, you know.



* The fact that a) the Order's reaction to Hagrid getting to care for Buckbeak is literally just to rename him "Witherwings" so that the Ministry won't guess it's the same hippogriff and b) ''that it actually works.'' YMMV if this is RefugeInAudacity or if it's just one more instance of wizardry's complete lack of anything resembling common sense, but either way, it's hilarious.
** One wonders if perhaps the Order could have hidden Sirius in plain sight just by giving him a pair of glasses and a different name.
*** Roonil Wazlib, perhaps.

to:

* The fact that a) the Order's reaction to Hagrid getting to care for When Buckbeak is literally just to rename transferred back into Hagrid's care, the Order renames him "Witherwings" so that the Ministry won't guess suspect it's the same hippogriff and b) ''that it that escaped death. ''This actually works.'' YMMV if this is RefugeInAudacity or if it's just one more instance of wizardry's complete lack of anything resembling common sense, but either way, it's hilarious.
** One wonders if perhaps the Order could have hidden Sirius in plain sight just by giving him a pair of glasses and a different name.
*** Roonil Wazlib, perhaps.
works''.



-->'''Madam Pomfrey:''' No more than six visitors at a time!
-->'''George:''' Hagrid makes six.
-->'''Madam Pomfrey:''' ''(clearly having mistaken Hagrid for an entire group of people)'' Oh...yes..

to:

-->'''Madam Pomfrey:''' No more than six visitors at a time!
-->'''George:'''
time!\\
'''George:'''
Hagrid makes six.
-->'''Madam
six.\\
'''Madam
Pomfrey:''' ''(clearly having mistaken Hagrid for an entire group of people)'' Oh...yes..



--->'''Ginny:''' You'd think people had better things to gossip about. Three dementor attacks in a week, and all Romilda Vane does is ask me if it's true you've got a hippogriff tattooed across your chest.
--->''(Ron and Hermione both bust out laughing)''
--->'''Harry:''' What did you tell her?
--->'''Ginny:''' I told her it's a Hungarian Horntail. Much more macho.
--->'''Harry:''' Thanks. And what did you tell her Ron's got?
--->'''Ginny:''' A Pygmy Puff, but I didn't say where.
--->''(Ron scowls at her; Hermione laughs even harder)''

to:

--->'''Ginny:''' -->'''Ginny:''' You'd think people had better things to gossip about. Three dementor attacks in a week, and all Romilda Vane does is ask me if it's true you've got a hippogriff tattooed across your chest.
--->''(Ron
chest.\\
''(Ron
and Hermione both bust out laughing)''
--->'''Harry:'''
laughing)''\\
'''Harry:'''
What did you tell her?
--->'''Ginny:'''
her?\\
'''Ginny:'''
I told her it's a Hungarian Horntail. Much more macho.
--->'''Harry:'''
macho.\\
'''Harry:'''
Thanks. And what did you tell her Ron's got?
--->'''Ginny:'''
got?\\
'''Ginny:'''
A Pygmy Puff, but I didn't say where.
--->''(Ron
where.\|
''(Ron
scowls at her; Hermione laughs even harder)''

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** The [[DeathGlare enraged glares]] that every girl in the main hall gives to Harry when he goes to Slughorn's party with [[CloudCuckoolander Luna Lovegood]].

to:

** The [[DeathGlare enraged glares]] that every girl in the main hall gives to Harry when he goes to Slughorn's party with [[CloudCuckoolander ''[[CloudCuckoolander Luna Lovegood]].Lovegood]]''.


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** Not to mention all the people trying to avoid taking a seat near Grawp.
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** Hermonie admits that she considered asking out Zacharias Smith instead of Cormac to really piss off Ron, but she had to draw the line somewhere. Harry has a BrainBleach reaction to the thought of Hermoine on a date with Smith.


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* The mostly grim scene of Marvolo Gaunt making a racist ass of himself to Ministry of Magic member Bob Ogden has one HilariousInHindsight moment after the next book reveals that the supposed Peverell coat-of-arms Marvolo was bragging about is actually the symbol of the mythological Deathly Hallows, something that Ogden (an implied pureblood) likely knew. From Ogden's perspective, Marvolo was claiming that a children's story symbol was proof that he was descended from the oldest families in Britain, which likely made Marvolo seem like an even bigger madman/idiot than he actually was.

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* Before arriving at Hogwarts, Ron purchases an enchanted quill from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes to help with his spelling, but only a few chapters later, he's complaining about how it's malfunctioning and actually making his spelling ''worse''. Much later, after Harry tries the Sectumsempra curse he found in his used copy of ''Advanced Potion-Making'' on Malfoy, Snape uses Legilimency to read Harry's memories and orders Harry to bring him the book. Not wanting Snape to take the book away, Harry hastily asks to borrow Ron's, and clearly didn't check the book before handing it over.

to:

* Before arriving at Hogwarts, Ron purchases an enchanted quill from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes to help with his spelling, but only a few chapters later, he's complaining about how it's malfunctioning and actually making his spelling ''worse''. Much later, after Harry tries the Sectumsempra curse he found in his used copy of ''Advanced Potion-Making'' on Malfoy, Snape uses Legilimency to read Harry's memories and orders Harry to bring him the book. Not wanting Snape to take the book away, Harry hastily asks to borrow Ron's, and [[BrickJoke clearly didn't check the book before handing it over.over]].

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* Harry hastily procures Ron's book:

to:

* Before arriving at Hogwarts, Ron purchases an enchanted quill from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes to help with his spelling, but only a few chapters later, he's complaining about how it's malfunctioning and actually making his spelling ''worse''. Much later, after Harry tries the Sectumsempra curse he found in his used copy of ''Advanced Potion-Making'' on Malfoy, Snape uses Legilimency to read Harry's memories and orders Harry to bring him the book. Not wanting Snape to take the book away, Harry hastily procures Ron's book: asks to borrow Ron's, and clearly didn't check the book before handing it over.



** The best part is how much of a BrickJoke this is. Before arriving at Hogwarts, Ron purchases an enchanted quill from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes to help with his spelling, but only a few chapters later, he's complaining about how it's malfunctioning and actually making his spelling ''worse''. Much later, after Harry tries the Sectumsempra curse he found in his used copy of ''Advanced Potion-Making'' on Malfoy, Snape uses Legilimency to read Harry's memories and orders Harry to bring him the book. Not wanting Snape to take the book away, Harry asks to borrow Ron's, and clearly didn't check the book before handing it over.
*** Also, Snape's line "I understand what a nickname is" becomes even funnier (and maybe a little harsher) when we remember "Snivellus."

to:

** The best part is how much of a BrickJoke this is. Before arriving at Hogwarts, Ron purchases an enchanted quill from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes to help with his spelling, but only a few chapters later, he's complaining about how it's malfunctioning and actually making his spelling ''worse''. Much later, after Harry tries the Sectumsempra curse he found in his used copy of ''Advanced Potion-Making'' on Malfoy, Snape uses Legilimency to read Harry's memories and orders Harry to bring him the book. Not wanting Snape to take the book away, Harry asks to borrow Ron's, and clearly didn't check the book before handing it over.
*** Also,
Snape's line "I understand what a nickname is" becomes even funnier (and maybe a little harsher) when we remember "Snivellus."
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* Hermione is considering buying a love potion until she sees [=McLaggen=] give her a flirtatious grin. She immediately [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere puts it down and walks away.]]
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* After Harry and Ginny start dating:
--->'''Ginny:''' You'd think people had better things to gossip about. Three dementor attacks in a week, and all Romilda Vane does is ask me if it's true you've got a hippogriff tattooed across your chest.
--->''(Ron and Hermione both bust out laughing)''
--->'''Harry:''' What did you tell her?
--->'''Ginny:''' I told her it's a Hungarian Horntail. Much more macho.
--->'''Harry:''' Thanks. And what did you tell her Ron's got?
--->'''Ginny:''' A Pygmy Puff, but I didn't say where.
--->''(Ron scowls at her; Hermione laughs even harder)''
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** A few chapters later, Harry and Hagrid have a drink with Slughorn, who was partly responsible for Ron's poisoning before and he assures that he tested all of his wine tested to make sure it wasn't poisoned...by having a house elf take a sip from every bottle he had. Harry imagines what Hermione's expression would be if she'd heard that and decides to never, ever tell her about it.
* Just before Harry takes the Felix Felicis:
-->'''Harry:''' I'll just take a mouthful. Two or three hours should do it.
-->'''Ron:''' It's a great feeling when you take it. Like you can't do anything wrong.
-->'''Hermione:''' ''(laughing)'' What are you talking about? You've never taken any!
-->'''Ron:''' Yeah, but I ''[[PlaceboEffect thought]]'' I had, didn't I? Same difference really...

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* Ron is accidentally poisoned and ends up in the hospital wing. Harry and Hermione and most of the Weasleys of course come to visit him, but Hagrid (who's been spending time with a slowly-dying Aragog) doesn't hear about what happened until very late in the day and runs up to the ward to see if Ron's okay, leading to:
-->'''Madam Pomfrey:''' No more than six visitors at a time!
-->'''George:''' Hagrid makes six.
-->'''Madam Pomfrey:''' ''(clearly having mistaken Hagrid for an entire group of people)'' Oh...yes..



* When Ron is under the Love Potion, Harry immediately brings him to Slughorn to get him fixed up. Slughorn is surprised that Harry (who's done quite well in his Potions classes) would need the help. Harry said it was an emergency. Slughorn takes one look at Ron's dopey face and quickly agrees.
* Harry tells Ron he will take him to see Romilda Vane, but instead takes him to Professor Slughorn. Ron hugs him thinking he is actually Romilda because he has no idea who she actually is.
* The face Ron makes as the Love Potion wears off goes from vague delight to dull horror.

to:

* ** When Ron is under the Love Potion, Harry immediately brings him to Slughorn to get him fixed up. Slughorn is surprised that Harry (who's done quite well in his Potions classes) would need the help. Harry said it was an emergency. Slughorn takes one look at Ron's dopey face and quickly agrees.
* ** Harry tells Ron he will take him to see Romilda Vane, but instead takes him to Professor Slughorn. Ron hugs him thinking he is actually Romilda because he has no idea who she actually is.
* ** The face Ron makes as the Love Potion wears off goes from vague delight to dull horror.

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