- "Hey! Stop that! Go do some loner junk in the woods or something."
- Jane Austen's reaction to Sense and Sensibility and Mister Darcy and Sharks In Space Riding Motorcycles Plus There Is a Time Machine.
- After the witches tell their prophecy to Macbeth and Banquo:
Banquo: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?Macbeth: (thinking) KILL EVERYONE.Banquo: Haha, our kids are totally gonna hook up.Macbeth: Wha?
- Sexy Tudors, particularly the last panel. Poor William Cecil.
- The Nancy Drew covers. "I don't want to solve this mystery."
- These comics featuring Inspector Javert, especially the third and fourth ones.
- This little exchange:
Tom: You'll never be like us, Gatsby. We're old money.Gatsby: Well, how old?Tom: So old. Old as balls.
- What baby.
- FUCK THE JAZZ AGE
- Jules Verne's letter to Edgar Allan Poe.
- Pretty much all of "Julius Caesar, Part 2," but especially the dogs of war and Cinna's bad verses.
Cinna: Check it - Roses are red, I give them to mom, she makes me cookies, nommy nom noms.Crowd: TEAR HIM FOR HIS BAD VERSES!
- Every comic here.
- The comic with Tycho Brahe has "What if the earth orbits the sun" "WHAT IF YOUR WIFE ORBITS MY DICK"
- Tycho that was uncalled for!
- "But I have the heart and stomach of a king, and the wingspan of an albatross!" Also a Crowning Moment of Awesome.
- Everything involving The Watsons. "Jam!"
- Mystery Solving Teens:
Teen: It was the baker or something.Inspector: The baker?! I knew it!Baker (getting arrested): I'm innocent!
- Mark Antony tries to give a eulogy:
Mark Antony: This was the noblest Roman of them allAnonymous Roman soldier: Was he?? ... Should we be angry with you, now that he's dead?Mark Antony: What? No! No. Fuck no.
Caesar: Antony, you're a big strapping fellow. Next time you run by my wife, Calpurnia, give her a good punch, will you?Mark Antony: Why?Caesar: She's barren.Mark Antony: Is that a thing?Caesar: Well, I'm no doctor, but yes.
- And the first comic on that page:
- How To Win
- Dude Watchin' with the Brontés