Funny / Grey Knights

  • Bjorn the Fell-Handed gets some really great and funny lines when he shows up near the end of The Emperor's Gift. We would also like to remind you that Bjorn is considered the biggest Grumpy Old Man in the setting. Clearly, the 10,000 years of his life hasn't dulled his wit.
    • After meeting Lord Inquisitor Kysnaros and his accompanying fleet of warships:
    Bjorn: "What brings you into the night sky above Fenris, and why shouldn't I break your little fleet into tiny pieces with this castle's many, many guns?"
    • After Kysnaros expresses shock that he walked when the Emperor still lived:
    Bjorn: "Walked, ran, pissed and killed. I did it all. I met the Allfather, you know. Fought at his side more than once. I do believe he liked me."
    • Preparing to leave after teleporting on board the Grey Knights vessel and bringing hostilities to an end:
    Bjorn: "I have never, in all my years, stepped into a teleporter before now. No wonder Russ hated them so much. If I still had skin, it would be crawling."
    • And his views on how the 41st Millenium came to be such a miserable place:
    Bjorn: "God-Emperor? Calling him a god was how all this mess started".
  • Inquisitor Jarlsdottyr's warband have spent several years serving with Hyperion, having fought and lived side-by-side in the close confines of starships. This even includes sharing post-battle showers and after being seen naked Hyperion is mystified by their claim that it is "disappointing" that his training and gene-therapy has left him utterly asexual.
  • Hyperion overhears part of a transmission spoken in a warning tone from Logan Grimnar to the Inquisition fleet requesting they stand down from their plans to purge the population of Armageddon. Grimnar notes that he is asking this as a request, and that it would be unfortunate if he has to make it a threat. Captain Castor's reaction says it all.
    Captain Castor: If they really lose their temper, we won't have time to shit ourselves before we die.