Funny / Goosebumps

The Movie

  • As our heroes are running from the Lawn Gnomes:
    Stine: The basement's locked!
    Zach: I picked it!
    Stine: That's breaking and entering!
  • The cops seem to carry a reputation:
    Champ: Dude, we should call the cops...
    Zach: Have you met the cops in this town?
    Champ: ...fair enough.
  • "Who are you calling dummy, dummy?"
  • Chased by a giant praying mantis, with everyone screaming indications at him, Stine delivers this line:
    Stine: Does someone else want to drive? 'Cause I'm pulling over right now.
  • The running gag:
    Stine: Your name is Champ?
    Champ: It's short for "Champion."
  • This:
    Zach's Aunt: You're a—
    Slappy: Don't do it.
    Zach's Aunt: —Talking—
    Slappy: Don't say it.
    Zach's Aunt: —Dummy.
    Slappy: ...You said it.
  • The numerous times romance in horror films and books was mocked by, "Now's not a good time!" or a variation of it so the protagonists could focus on taking down the monsters.
  • Most of Slappy's one-liners.
    • Anything Slappy says as he goes throughout the town in The Haunted Car and throwing the opened books out of the car and releasing the monsters.
    • Peaking when one of the cops aims a gun at him and tells him to shut his mouth. Slappy closes his mouth and answers, "Okay, but it won't stop me."
  • Zach's aunt crashing into the Werewolf of Fever Swamp, unknowingly saving the heroes.
  • During the climax, Stine has to find a place to write in the school and goes into the auditorium. What play does the school have set up in there? The Shining.
  • At the end when the monsters are getting sucked back into the book, Slappy tries to get one last hit in by attacking Stine. And what does Stine end up doing? He dropkicks him into the vortex. Doubles as a Moment of Awesome, especially for every adult in the audience who grew up terrified of that evil little bastard.
  • At the beginning, when Zach is intent to follow Hannah and the Abominable Snowman, Champ grabs his arms and puts his whole weight trying to prevent Zach from doing so. Zach is able to keep walking anyway, dragging Champ with him.

The Books

  • Billy describing Dr. Deep's Fish out of Water behavior in Deep Trouble when he was stuck on land once during the holidays. "Billy, sit up straight! Sheena, swab the deck!"
  • In "Don't Wake Mummy", Kim scared her little brother Jeff by dressing as the mummy. He started fighting her until their mom stops them by threatening to ground them both.
    Mom: I want all of you back in bed on the count of 3! One... two...
    [Kim, her friend Shawna, and Jeff run back to their rooms.]
  • From Go Eat Worms!: "And the winner of the science fair is...Danny Fletcher and his Balloon Solar System!"
  • The entirety of A Holly Jolly Holiday is hilarious, especially the main premise. It's about a girl whose older sister loves a completely sappy and corny Christmas special, and manages to find a video tape of it at the mall. But the video magically transforms the viewers into the movie's main character, Susie Snowflake, and the girl is horrified as her parents, sister, and even her dog turn into redheaded baking-obsessed idiots. In fact, it starts happening to the girl as well, who mentions she tried to swear at one point but could only say "Oh sugar cookies!"
  • As mentioned by Blogger Beware, the ending of Marshmallow Surprise can be considered one. Basically the story builds up to a climax where Mrs. Spooner reveals that Marsha and her brothers are going to melt into goo as revenge for the pranks they've pulled on her, and then out of nowhere the kids turn out to be werewolves and eat her. It's so completely stupid it's hilarious.
  • Strained Peas was about a kid who discovered his baby sister is actually a monster. The story ends with the reveal that his actual sister, who'd been switched by accident, apparently picked up some tips from her monster mom and threatens the kid. Now in the story, the kid's horrified. In the TV show, he basically rolls his eyes and can't believe he has to go through this all over again.
  • In Attack of the Mutant, as Skipper finally faces off against the Masked Mutant, he tries to bluff his way out by proclaiming he's really the hero known as the Colossal Elastic Boy. At which point the Mutant exclaims, in complete sincerity, "Elastic Boy! I thought you looked familiar!" At no point was there ever a character called Elastic Boy mentioned before that moment, and that just makes it even funnier.

The TV Show

  • "How To Kill A Monster":
    [the monster lies dead after Clark had his hand in its mouth]
    Clark: Is it really dead this time?
    [The monster explodes, covering Clark and Gretchen in slime.]
    Gretchen: I'd say yes.
  • The end of Piano Lessons Can Be Murder, where the ghost haunting an old piano is actually the mother of the Shreek Piano School teacher and forces him to practice forever.
    • The way Mr. Toggle yells "How much LONGER?!"
  • While the last bit is scary, the Salesman in Welcome To Dead House desperately making offers to make the Benson family staying as if they matter compared to the town being full of blood thirsty zombies. Before giving up and revealing his true intentions.
  • The TV adaption of One Day At Horrorland really hams up the Horrors, especially when the Morrises are being prepped for the "Raw Deal" TV show.
    Horror Make-Up Artist: Honey, we may be monsters, but we're not monsters.
    • And then there's the commercial for Greatest Monster Love Songs. It must be seen to be believed.
  • In The Haunted Mask 2, when Chuck asks Steve to remove his creepy mask (not knowing it's attaching to him and changing his mood)...
    Chuck: Would you take off that mask please?
    Steve: (in a mocking falsetto) "Please?" "PLEASE?"
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