Funny: Glenn Beck
- Pat Gray's impressions are always a riot, especially if you don't like the person he's making fun of.
Glenn: What—why...why is everything always jumbled, with Yoda?Pat (as Yoda): WISE, he is!Glenn: Okay—Pat (as Yoda): Learn how to SPEAK, did he—over 900 years like this! Yes. ...When 900 years old YOU are, speak like this YOU will! Hmm? Yes! (Beat) Yes!Glenn: So is this—is this what Moses sounded like?! Do the Ten Commandments, like this!Pat (as Yoda): KILL someone, you shall not! Let GO my people, you should! Yes. (Beat) Yes.
- Senator Arlen Specter. Which led to, of all things, a rendition of "Happy Birthday"....
- Al Gore. Especially when he works in "Mah Ehs-Yuh—vay". (That's "SUV", by the way....)
- Some lady talking about how bad their family has it because they only have dial-up internet.
- And Yoda. Full stop.
- In the wake of the "Balloon Boy" fiasco, the Glenn Beck program broke a major news story: The Box Kite Kittens.
- Gloat Fest 2010. Be warned: there's a lot of gloating.
- The trend was started with Gloat Fest 2004, which was just as funny.
- GET OFF MY PHONE!!
"KATHY, GET OFF MY PHONE!!! GET! OFF! MY! PHONE!, YOU LITTLE PINHEAD! IIIIIIIIIIIII DON'T CARE?!? 'YOU PEOPLE DON'T CARE ABOUT THE TRILLIONS'—GET OFF MY PHONE!!!" (Beat) "I'M GONNA LOSE MY MIND, TODAY!!!"
- Check out the context: a woman calls in and starts off trashing him to no tomorrow...kicking off some Snark-to-Snark Combat between the two. Things go downhill, reaching Ham-to-Ham Combat, until finally she accuses him of not caring about the bank bailouts (a subject he'd been talking about A LOT by then). Glenn's Berserk Button is hit, and thus...
- Trying to attack Glee. The funny thing is that he doesn't go after anything we'd expect, like the big damn (gay) kiss, but actually takes one part of one song (by My Chemical Romance, no less) and tries to make it sound like Glee is anti-establishment.
- In a couple recent shows he began referring to Air Force One as Barack Obama's "flying penis."
- In response to a news report that feeding Ensure to Guantanamo prisoners was torture, Stu was Ensure-boarded.
Stu: IT'S TOO CHOCOLATEY!
- 7/16/12: An audio clip from Barack Obama caused Pat to scream so loudly that the mics still picked him up from the opposite end of a 16,000 square foot studio!
- From GBTV: Pat's mocking of Chris Matthews' asshatery toward two representatives from Americans For Prosperity who appeared on his show after an infamous incident in which union activists attacked several members of their organization and tore down their tent in Lansing, Michigan. What's That? Who Pays Your Salary!?
- When the trio launch into an IMMENSELY Ho Yay-filled satire of Alex Jones...reflecting on his visit to Charlie Sheen's house. Words cannot do the sequence justice.
"Hey, 'membuh?" "'MEMBUH?!?"
- Every dang time Pat launches into his high-pitched, scratchy-voiced, deliberately-tone-deaf rendition of "Happy Days Are Here Again"!
Amid intense guffaws:Glenn: Okay—stop—stop—stop—stop....Stu: Is that your natural singing voice?Pat: Yes! You should hear me in church!Stu: That is beautiful!Glenn: That is really great...! Sing a hymn for us, will you?Pat: I would, but it might not be very reverent....
- Amid a big gloat-fest over the Left's hasty Dewey-Defeats-Truman-style predictions about the 2010 midterms. Pat can't help himself.
- In celebration of Osama Bin Laden's all-too-timely death. Bonus points for him and Stu couching it up in a Serious Business conversation about whether it's okay to celebrate a person's death.
- "The Bees...Know!" (Oooooooo—OOOOOOOOO!!! Oooooooo—OOOOOOOOOOO—ooooooooo...!)
- When the gang uses the Bees gag to mock Bilderberg Theorists. Bonus points for Stu building on it by posing as a scratchy-voiced caller who "agrees" with Glenn that instead of wasting time on "secret meetings", people should focus on things "right out in the open—like the Illuminati!"
- Along those lines, the bit about the flies and Obama, and whether or not that means Obama is Doctor Dolittle, or if he in fact has a voice like the bug from Men In Black, or whether said voice could be used in the singing of songs from Doctor Dolittle, or what-have-you.