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Funny: Game Of Thrones Ascent
  • Lady Elyana nibbles a small cake. Groat blinks, looks down at his now-empty plate and sputters. From the fireside Gammer Wilde says, "I like her."
  • Kirth tricking Fat Tom to tell he is going to deliver a letter.
    Kirth says, "You were in terrible shape earlier. Glad you're on your feet now!" Tom says, "Thank you, but I'm not talking about the letter. Ah, seven hells!"
  • Gammer Wilde pinching Ser Hugo's ear for insulting the weirwood trees.
    Ser Hugo scowls. "Faces carved by people, not gods." Gammer Wilde is suddenly behind him, pinching his ear. "Oww! Off me, woman! I won't strike you but..."
    • Ser Hugo is already cautious:
    You: "As Ser Hugo says, a vow to the Seven holds more weight that one to uncounted old gods."
    Ser Hugo glances at Gammer Wilde, who pretends not to notice, and says, "Uncounted is a frightening word. Like knowing you have enemies but not how many."
  • Some of Groat's jokes and comments, as well as his occasional picking on Alvyn.
    (On Jon Snow swearing his vows on a weirwood)
    Groat: Aheh, you have to see it through the eyes of a boy raised to venerate the trees."
    You: Groat, I'm a little disappointed. You have no jest for me?"
    Groat looks around, half-smiling. "Just recall, my [lady/lord], if the boy leaves, he'll look like a sap." Groans rise from all sides and Groat takes a little bow.
  • Ser Hugo's Spit Take in the Bonus Quest where your friend's foster daughter tries to pull The Baby Trap on him.
    Maester Lucas: "There's a raven from [Your Friend's House]. It says..." He starts to chuckle. "Oh dear. It says his foster claims she is with Ser Hugo's child."
    You: "Ser Hugo...are congratulations in order?"
    Ser Hugo Flint: The knight looks from where he spit strongwine all over his tunic. "No. Never. I swear, my [lord/lady]. She propositioned, I said no. Three times, in fact."
  • Poor Septa Eleanor's shock when surprising the soldiers in the middle of - *ahem* - moral defilement in the brothel.
  • In "Peril of the Old Ways", Septa Eleanor, in a rather Jerkass moment, argues with Gammer Wilde about dragging your character into a search for a Skinchanger, calling it a mystical fool's errand and mocking Gammer's beliefs. You can make Gammer tell her off... or kick her in the shins.
    "You little—" Septa Eleanor catches herself before she says anything improper, hopping on one foot. Gammer shuffles away.
  • Maester Lucas gestures to the guards, who leave to escort Kirth in. "I hear your cousin is a minstrel. I must warn you—he brought his lute."
  • Maester Lucas sends the guards to imprison Kirth. "We'll confiscate your cousin's lute as well. We don't want him disturbing the other prisoners."
  • "Then we're in agreement?" Terrei says confidently. "We will arrange a marriage." The words cut through your haze of wine. "What?"
  • Caiden's hijinks in your holdings.
  • Rona and Groat shake their heads, then look surprised at their agreement.
  • Groat: "Speak of Viserys, now quite dead! A crown of gold around his head! He grew emboldened, then grew drunk and fell with a metallic thunk!"

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