Funny: Game of Thrones

"What happens when the nonexistent bumps against the decrepit?" note 

"An inspiring sight for the people, eh? Come, bow before your king. Bow, you shits!"
King Robert Baratheon

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    Season 1 
1 — Winter is Coming
  • The first line that King Robert says to his old friend Eddard Stark, after not having seen him for years:
    "You got fat."
    • Ned's reaction to this does not only amount to "I beg your pardon?" but "Look who's talking!" with just a quick glance and raised eyebrows. And you can see Ned struggling not to crack up, which both he and Robert promptly do a few seconds later.
  • Jaime talking about Robert "fucking boars and hunting whores, or is it the other way around?"
  • Almost every single Stark and Lannister is not only drinking heavily in an attempt to get through the coming feast without punching someone in the face, but also cheerfully admitting to their opposite numbers that that's what they're doing.
  • When the royal party arrives at Winterfell and Robb catches Sansa making eyes with Joffrey, he gives a subtle Death Glare combined with a What Does She See in Him? in Joffrey's direction.
  • Catelyn asks Sansa where Arya is and gets a tiny shrug and "how the hell should I know?" look in response. Sansa clearly couldn't care less.
  • Tyrion says he'll be too busy fucking his way through several whores to go to dinner. What does Jaime do? Bring in 4 more so his brother will be done in time to keep him company. And comes this hilarious line.
    Tyrion: (as Jaime is leaving while Tyrion is being smothered by the whores) Close the door! (Jaime doesn't)
  • At the feast, Sansa and Jeyne are giggling and checking out Joffrey, and a bored Arya starts flicking food at her. Robb cracks up, until his mother gives him a pointed look, and then he hastily carries Arya off to bed.
  • "Dothraki weddings without at least three deaths are considered a dull affair."
  • The first time Viserys drops the F-bomb. It's shockingly funny because one, it's in a medieval fantasy setting where you don't expect it (maybe from earthy types like Robert but not from evil princes) and two; he says it in a soft, tender sort of way to his innocent little sister even though what he's describing is something absolutely horrible.

2 — The Kingsroad
  • Joffrey saying he won't talk to Catelyn because he "can't stand the wailing of women." He looks at the Hound all "amirite, bro?" and the Hound, suffice it to say, does not respond with a high-five. Tyrion responds with a high-five across Joffrey's face.
  • Tyrion repeatedly slapping Joffrey across the face for not showing sympathy to the Starks over Bran's fall, while Joffrey's bodyguard Sandor Clegane just stands there, uncaring.
    • After Joffrey has stormed off, the Hound warns Tyrion that Joffrey won't forget getting slapped around. Tyrion shrugs it off, basically saying that if Joffrey does forget, for the Hound to be a "good dog and remind him."
  • Arya trying to show Jon her direwolf (Nymeria) helping her pack.
    Arya: Jon, watch this. Nymeria! Gloves!
    Nymeria: (ignores her)
    Jon: ... Impressive.
    Arya: (Indignantly) Shut up. (clears throat and speaks firmly and clearly) Nymeria! Gloves!
    Nymeria: (tilts her head and looks at Arya quizzically)
    Arya: ARGH!
  • Robert gives us this little gem when he hears about Joffrey and Arya's fight.
    King Robert Baratheon: You let that little girl disarm you?
  • Jaime responds to Cersei asking about what would happen if Robert found out about their relationship, Jaime replies, "I'll go to war with him if it comes to it. Maybe they'll write a song about us: The War for Cersei's Cunt. Cersei slaps him once... and then when Jaime grins at this, she tries to slap him a second time, perhaps giving an indication of where Tyrion picked up the habit.

3 — Lord Snow
  • Jorah and Rakharo have a friendly conversation comparing Dothraki and Westerosi weapons, which moves on to a discussion of their parents. Jorah remarks that he betrayed his father, a man of great honor. Rakharo's resulting facial expression is priceless.
  • In the previous episode, Tyrion said he wanted to stand atop the Wall and "piss off of the edge of the world". Guess what happens in this one?
  • A small one; when Rakharo asks Dany if she wants him to take off Viserys's ear to teach him respect, Dany says no and that she doesn't want her brother harmed. Irri translates this for Rakharo, and he basically gives her a look that screams "Say what?" She in turn gives him the tiniest shrug that clearly says "Yeah, I know, I don't get it either." Meanwhile Viserys is still lying on the ground being choked until he turns red.
    Viserys Targaryen: (petulant, bawling) Mormont! Kill these Dothraki dogs!
  • Littlefinger is very pleased to see Catelyn when she arrives at the brothel he owns, but she makes her displeasure at being escorted to such a place very clear. As he's trying to find words to defend himself two topless whores saunter into the room, and he makes frantic gestures for them to get out again; it's probably the only time (apart from when Ned's choke-slamming him) that we see the man flustered.
  • Ned choking Littlefinger. The fact that Littlefinger's eyes bug out makes seeing the Manipulative Bastard be caught off guard extremely satisfying.
    • When Littlefinger explains through the chokehold that Catelyn is in Kings Landing, Ned doesn't belief the man for one second. After Catelyn sticks her head out the window and tells Ned to stop choking Lord Baelysh, Ned gives the other man a look that screams [My God, You Are Serious]. Priceless.
    • Just watching Littlefinger, who always acts so sly and above it all, freak out and claw feebly at Ned's hands when he starts choking him is quite funny. The body language when Ned dismissively casts him aside is remarkably similar to that of a meek kid getting bullied in high school.
  • In his first few appearances, Littlefinger is quickly established as amusingly slimy and gets stuff thrown at him by Catelyn and choke-slammed by Ned for it. After the latter happens, he gets a great Shakespearean villain aside where he comments, "Ah, the Starks — quick tempers, slow minds..."
  • When Dany's handmaid is trying to find something other than horse for her to eat now that she's pregnant, Jorah cuts into her suggestions with an utterly deadpan: "I don't think she wants to eat dog."
  • Robert asks Jaime if the first man he ever killed had any Famous Last Words.
    Jaime: I cut his head off, so no.

4 — Cripples, Bastards and Broken Things
  • Hearing King Robert roar "YOU SMELL LIKE BLACKBERRY JAM!" (at a prostitute he's with) from inside a bedchamber.
  • Grenn's overacting when he gets Sam to hit him. And we use that verb operatively. "I yield! I yield!"
  • Jon bares his soul to Samwell about being unable to sleep with a prostitute at the thought of fathering a bastard of his own. Samwell's response: "So... you didn't know where to put it!"
  • King Robert Baratheon becoming impatient during the tourney.
    Robert: We've been sittin' here for DAYS! START THE DAMN JOUST BEFORE I PISS ME-SELF!

5 — The Wolf and the Lion
  • King Robert about to walk out of his tent wearing most unkingly attire, before Ned stops him.
    Ned: Robert...
    Robert: Oh. (guffaws) An inspiring sight for the people, eh? Come, bow before your king! Bow, you shits!
  • Tyrion and Bronn having a little conversation on the defenses of the Eyrie, hinting at a beautiful friendship to come.
    Tyrion Lannister: They say it's impregnable.
    Bronn: Give me ten good men and some climbing spikes and I'll impregnate the bitch.
    Tyrion: ... I like you.
  • Bronn sees that Tyrion has killed one of the marauders that attacked Catelyn's party, and brings up the fact that you always need a woman after a kill. Tyrion looks over at Catelyn (who is out of earshot) and comments, "I'm willing if she is."
  • Littlefinger and Renly at the tournament. You can almost suspect Littlefinger of intentionally losing the bet just to have a chance to say it.
    Renly Baratheon: Such a shame. It would have been so nice for you to have a friend."
    Petyr Baelish: And tell me, Lord Renly. When will you be "having" your friend?
  • Baelish and Varys's practice of Passive-Aggressive Kombat.
  • Loras, on Renly's older brother: "Stannis has the personality of a lobster!"
  • The petulance/double entendres (from both sides) all throughout Renly and Loras' conversation.
  • Renly's tremendously snarky description of the Lannisters:
    Renly: You have to give it to the Lannisters. They may be the most pompous, ponderous cunts the gods have ever suffered to walk the world, but they do have an outrageous amount of money.
  • "Jory!"
  • When Catelyn first brings Tyrion to the Vale and finds Lysa breastfeeding her son, who is obviously too old for it. Catelyn is clearly disturbed, but maintains her composure. Tyrion, on the other hand, is standing there the whole time with a look of pure WTF? on his face.
    • Even better, throughout the conversation as Lysa becomes more overtly crazy, Catelyn and Tyrion keep exchanging "what is this I don't even" glances with each other.
    • Catelyn's expression is even funnier in all her interactions with Lysa, a slow realization, "All of a sudden this wasn't such a bright idea after all".
  • Arya's exasperation at being repeatedly mistaken for a boy.
  • Catelyn takes Tyrion prisoner for the attempt on Bran's life and drags him to her sister's domain to stand trial. When they get there, Lady Arryn accuses him of being involved with Jon Arryn's death as well. Tyrion's response?
  • When Loras proclaims Sandor Clegane the winner of the jousting, and the crowd is cheering, the Hound gives everybody an adorably awkward little nod, like he's not sure how he's supposed to behave in such a situation.
  • Ned pulls away when he thinks Loras is about to give him a rose meant for Sansa.
  • A brief moment of dark humor in an otherwise dramatic scene during Robert's conversation with Cersei.
    Robert: We haven't had a real fight in nine years. Backstabbing doesn't prepare you for a fight and that's all the realm is now. Backstabbing and scheming and arselicking and money grubbing. ... Sometimes I don't know what holds it together.
    Cersei: Our marriage?
    *both crack up laughing*
  • The small council meeting is tragic because the politicians of King's Landing are so corrupt they're willing to kill an unborn child, and because of the fallout between Ned and Robert, who were best friends for life. But it begins with Robert doing his best BRIAN BLESSED impersonation.
    "The WHOOOOOORE is pregnant!"

6 — A Golden Crown
  • Tyrion's "confession", and Robyn being completely enraptured by it. The best part is that his "confession" starts off somewhat serious sounding, and it isn't immediately obvious that he's winding everyone up. It isn't until he gets to the anecdote about the servant girl, specifically the bit about her tits, that it's evident he's not taking the trial seriously.
    Tyrion: I once brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel
    Lysa: Silence!
    Robyn: What happened next?
  • Tyrion's Hurricane of Euphemisms.
    Tyrion: When I was twelve, I milked my eel into a pot of turtle stew. I flogged the one-eyed snake, I skinned my sausage, I made the bald man cry!
  • "... into the turtle stew, which my sister ate. At least, I hope she did." And everyone's reactions to that as well.
  • After Catelyn reminds Tyrion that he stands accused of conspiracy to murder both Jon Arryn and Brandon Stark, Tyrion replies with hilariously perfect cherubic innocence "Oh I'm very sorry. I don't know anything about all that."
  • Tyrion channeling Basil Fawlty while trying to explain the concept of notional debt to the dimwitted Mord. "Sometimes possession is an abstract concept—" *thunk*
  • Tyrion, having spent half an episode's worth trying to tell Mord he has gold to pay with, and getting whacked with a cudgel for his efforts, eventually gets a foothold with Mord knowing the phrase "rich as a Lannister". Nothing quite matches the pained look on Tyrion's face as he tells Mord, not believing himself for a second, "You're a... Smart... Man."
  • Bronn's brilliant Deadpan Snarker response to Lysa's criticism of his fighting style:
    Lysa: You don't fight with honor!
    Bronn: No. (nods toward the Moon Door where he dropped Ser Vardis Egan's body through) He did.
  • Syrio explaining to Arya that fighting doesn't happen when you're "dancing in the field with your dolls and kittens" and Arya indignantly insisting that she does not like dolls and kittens.
  • Sansa being snarky with Septa Mordane.
    Sansa Stark: Where are you from, anyway? The north or the south?
    Septa Mordane: (clearly pleased to be asked) I come... from a very small village in a—
    Sansa: Oh wait... I just realised... I don't care.
  • Ned broaches the topic of leaving King's Landing to his daughters. Upon Sansa's reaction to not wanting to leave Prince Joffrey:
    Sansa: I don't want to go, I love him! I'm meant to be his queen and have his babies...!
    Arya: (looks at her sister with disgust) ...Seven hells.
    Eddard: When you're older, I'll make you a match with someone who's worthy of you. Someone who's brave and gentle and strong.
    Sansa: I don't want someone brave and gentle and strong, I want him!
    Arya & Ned: (exchange smirks)
  • There's one truly hilarious moment in the otherwise dark hunting scene before Robert is killed. The king is loudly re-living the good old days, boasting about how he's slept with eight girls, one from each of the Seven Kingdoms and one from the Riverlands, and how you're not a real man unless you've "made the eight". He's really rubbing it in Renly's face, and Barristan Selmy and Lancel are getting more and more uncomfortable. Renly finally snaps and calls into question the so-called nobility of the old days. He then flounces off, leaving behind the most awkward silence imaginable. Lancel's response?
  • Jorah confronts Viserys as he attempts to steal the three dragon eggs from his sister.
    Viserys: If I sell one egg, I'll have enough to buy a ship. Two eggs, a ship and an army.
    Jorah: And you have all three.
    Viserys: I need a large army.

7 — You Win or You Die
  • Maester Aemon's utterly serious warning to a new steward about his assigned master: "Make no comment about his nose."
  • After Jon Snow is appointed a steward:
    Jon Snow: I just, I always wanted to be a ranger.
    Samwell Tarly: I... I always wanted to be a wizard.
    Jon: (Beat starts cracking up)
  • As Littlefinger instructs Ros and Amerca on how to properly pleasure a man including faking their own pleasure, he launches into a Motive Rant, interrupted by him casually tossing out "play with her arse" and then continuing on without breaking stride.

8 — The Pointy End
  • Cersei's reaction when Sansa says she'll be a good, trustworthy queen just like her.
  • "Your meat... is bloody tough!"
  • The second time Robb speaks in a deadly calm tone to the Greatjon, the Greatjon backs down. It may be an editing error, but it sounds like Grey Wind makes a faintly disappointed noise. I guess he's tasty.
  • When Tyrion is asked how he'd like to die, he responds with: "In my own bed, at the age of eighty, with a belly full of wine and a girl's mouth around my cock."
  • Tyrion introducing his "unwashed" allies to Tywin, whose poker face and unamused stance resembles a father who is meeting the completely inadequate suitor of his daughter. The introductions are done in the usual X, son of Y manner, until it's Bronn's turn.
    Bronn: (to Tywin, in all seriousness) You wouldn't know him.
  • Shagga's earnest nod of agreement when Tyrion finishes his Catch Phrase for him.
    Shagga, son of Dolf: Shagga, son of Dolf, will chop off your manhood -
    Tyrion: - and feed it to the goats, yes.
  • Barristan Selmy quitting the Kingsguard.
    Ser Barristan: (strips his cape and gloves off and casts them down) I am a knight. I shall die - a knight!
    Littlefinger A naked knight, apparently.

9 — Baelor
  • Tyrion inventing "I Never", and Shae kicking his ass at it.
    Tyrion: It's fun! Look at all the fun we're having!
  • Bronn's suggestion of a game:
    Bronn: There's a Braavosi knife game I could teach you.
    Tyrion: Does it involve the potential for losing fingers?
    Bronn: Not if you win.
  • When Shae starts kissing Tyrion, Bronn just gets up and walks out, with "Well, I think I'm outstaying my welcome here," written all over his face.
  • Tyrion gives a Rousing Speech to the hill tribes and they run off to battle... and then one of the tribesmen accidentally hits Tyrion in the head with a war hammer, knocking him out cold.
    Bronn: You're a shit warrior.
  • Bronn's advice to Tyrion before the battle: "Stay low."
    Tyrion: (incredulous) "Stay low"?
  • When Tyrion meets Shae, he asks "what kind of accent that is". Her answer? "Foreign." Tyrion's face after she says it is priceless.
  • Catelyn and Robb's discussion of his being betrothed to one of Walder Frey's daughters. Specifically when Robb asks for his mother's assessment of Lord Frey's daughters and she says, "One was..." and trails off, clearly unable to think of anything complimentary that wasn't a bald-faced lie. Well, Theon found it hilarious, at least.
  • The start of Tyrion's Rousing Speech.
    "Stone Crows! Black Ears! Burned Men! Moon Brothers!"
    "(and Painted Dogs!)"
    "And Painted Dogs".
  • Tyrion never fails to amuse, even when he learns his father is sending his mercenaries (and therefore himself as well) to the front lines:
    "Surely there are better ways of having me killed that are not so detrimental to the war effort!"

10 — Fire and Blood
  • The Mood Whiplash moment when Samwell Tarly hits a tree branch and falls off his horse chasing Jon after he deserts. It breaks the tension neatly for the reveal that it's actually Sam, Pyp, and Grenn.
  • Varys giving as good as he gets in a fantastically passive-aggressive argument with Littlefinger. Anyone who can out-snark Petyr Baelish deserves a medal.
    Varys: I must be one of the few men in this city who doesn't want to be King.
    Petyr: You must be one of the few men in this city who isn't a man.
    Varys: Oh, you can do better than that.
    Petyr: When they castrated you, did they take the pillar with the stones? I've always wondered.
    Varys: Have you? Do you spend a lot of time wondering what's between my legs?
    Petyr: I picture a gash, like a woman's. Is that about right?
    Varys: I am flattered, of course, to be pictured at all.
    Petyr: Must be strange for you, even after all these years a man from another land, despised by most, feared by all.
    Varys: Am I? That is good to know. Do you lie awake at night fearing my gash?
  • Pycelle stretching vibrantly after sleeping with a whore, and then pretending to be frail and slouching before he leaves his chambers.
  • Lancel, Cersei's newest lover, thinking that she actually wants political advice from him and while she sees him as little more than a boytoy/Jaime substitute.
  • Yoren's warnings to Arya as he takes her away to a pack of prisoners bound to join the Night's Watch are funny in a morbid sort of way, especially the last part.
    "Half of them would turn you over to the king quick as spit for a pardon, and the other half would do the same except they'd rape ya first. So keep to yourself, and when you piss, do it in the woods, alone."
  • When Catelyn goes to see Jaime to find out what happened to her son, Bran, the first thing Jaime does is troll Catelyn by offering to sleep with her. Catelyn is already angry because Ned just died, and this just infuriates her even more to the point of beating him with a rock. It gets even funnier when Jaime seems to enjoy being beaten with said rock, offering that she should do it again and again because he likes "a violent woman".
    Jaime: You look lovely tonight, Lady Stark, widowhood becomes you. Your bed must be lonely... Is that why you came? I'm not at my best, but I think I could be of service.
  • When Jaime admits to Catelyn that he pushed Bran off the window and she asks why, his delivery of the line: "I... hoped the fall would kill him." is hilarious (in a dark way).
  • When the northern lords are arguing which king they should pick in the war, Galbert Glover shouts: "Renly is not right!" apropos to nothing. The show creators underline this in the commentary track, and say it was an ad-lib which they kept as a joke because of its ridiculousness.

    Season 2 
1 — The North Remembers
  • Cersei and Littlefinger's verbal pissing contest, where they both passive-aggressively tell each other that they know each other's secrets, and then to one-up him Cersei has her guards seize him and order them to cut this throat, but then changes her mind, has the guards turn around, step forward and back and close their eyes, all to tell Littlefinger that while he has the knowledge, she has the power.
  • The "Warrior of Light" ceremony, in that it centers around Stannis, who has "this has got to be the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life" written all over his face.
    Melisandre: For the night is dark and full of terrors.
    (paaaaause, and then Melisandre gives Stannis a look)
    Stannis Baratheon: (unenthusiastically) For the night is dark and full of terror.
    • It really is a wonderfully hilarious Establishing Character Moment. Not only does he flub his half of the motto, he starts to trudge off before remembering his wife. He makes this awkward gesture to her, then trudges off without her anyway. Next scene, we get to see him dictate a letter.
  • Stannis redacts his claim to the throne:
    • He's passive listening, but suddenly comes to life and snaps to amend Robert being referenced to as his "beloved brother" because, as he points out, he didn't love him; and Davos's tiny "Oh my gods" look in reaction to this.
    • On the other hand he insists that Jaime (whom he's accusing of committing incest and adultery with the king's wife) be called Ser Jaime Lannister the Kingslayer, because, well, "whatever else the man is, he is still a knight."
  • Tyrion's left field comment about Cersei's only redeeming qualities being her love for her kids... and her cheekbones.
  • Ros bossing around other whores with the exact same lines Littlefinger gave to her the previous season.
  • Daenerys insulting her late brother without really trying: "My brother didn't know anything about dragons." (beat) "He didn't know anything about anything..."
  • Tyrion's entire arrival in King's Landing: subtly mocking Joffrey to his face before walking away followed by a bunch of hill tribesman, and thoroughly pissing off Cersei by springing on her during a small council meeting that Tywin appointed him acting Hand. Particular mention to his outraged reaction to learning that they only have one Stark left to bargain with.
    Tyrion: Beloved nephew! We looked for you on the battlefield, but you were nowhere to be found.
    Joffrey: Er, I've been here, ruling the kingdoms.
    Tyrion: And what a fine job you've done!
  • Sam hitching a ride on Grenn's sledge, to which Grenn says that he "killed" it.
  • Seeing Joffrey getting slapped again is more than satisfying, but the one doing it makes it even better: his own mom. His outraged expression right after the fact is absolutely hilarious.
  • Craster to Jon Snow: "You're prettier than half my daughters." It's funny because it's true.

2 — The Night Lands
  • Tyrion inquiring about Bronn's boundaries:
    Tyrion: If I told you to murder an infant girl, say, still at her mother's breast, would you do it without question?
    Bronn: Without question? No. I'd ask, "How much?"
  • Sallador Saan's first scene, in which he agrees to help Davos and Stannis in their assault on King's Landing with his pirate fleet on the condition that he'd get to plunder the city and "fuck the blonde queen Cersei and fuck her well":
    Mathos: (eyes wide in complete disbelief) This war isn't about you! We're not attacking King's Landing so you can rape the queen!
    Saan: I'm not going to rape her! I'm going to fuck her!
    Mathos: As if she would just let you?!
    Saan: You don't know how persuasive I am, boy. I've never tried to fuck you...!
    • And Mathos jumping back a foot every time Saan goes near him after this comment.
      • And Davos, his father, chuckling quietly at him about it.
    • Also
    Saan: (when Mathos starts preaching about the Lord of Light) The one true god is what's between a woman's legs, and better yet a queen's legs.
    • Also
    Saan: (to Davos) You Westerosi are funny people, man chops off your fingers and you fall in love with him!
    • (Which is directed at Davos, but also a Call Back to the North's Greatjon Umber becoming Robb's most loyal bannerman after the latter's direwolf bites off half his hand during an altercation.)
  • The whole argument between the 'lads' about whether having armour on makes a fight a battle and a man a knight. Here's a hint from Gendry; it doesn't in either case. How does he know. "Because I sold armour."
    • A lot of the dialogue between Arya and Gendry in The Night Lands:
    Gendry: You know you shouldn't insult people who are bigger than you.
    Arya: Then I wouldn't get to insult anyone.
    • Maisie Williams' utterly deadpan and despondent delivery of this line makes this scene hilarious.
    • Gendry is shocked to realize he's been pissing in front of a highborn lady.
    Gendry: I should be calling you milady!
    Arya: Do not call me milady!
    Gendry: As milady commands.
    Arya: *shoves Gendry*
    Gendry: Well, that was unladylike.
    Arya: *pushes him to the ground*
  • Theon's expression, when he realises that sassy blonde he fingered on the way up to the castle is his SISTER.
    • There's also something humorous about the fact that every inhabitant of Pyke that Theon meets either trolls him or treats him with utter disdain... yes, even the Iron Islands hates Theon.
    Old man in Lordsport: What you carrying?
    Theon: Myrish oranges, wine from the Arbor and the heir to Pyke and the Iron Islands! (old man stares at him completely unimpressed) The only living son of Balon Greyjoy! (old man keeps staring) Me!
    Old man: Don't like wine, woman's drink.

    Balon: (commenting on Theon's choice of attire) Was it Ned Stark's pleasure to make you his daughter?
    Balon: I'll not have my son dressed as a whore!

    Theon: I told you to wait outside! How'd you get past the guards?
    Yara: Anything with a cock is easy to fool.

    Theon: She can't lead an attack!
    Balon: And why not?
    Theon: (gesticulates at her) You're a woman!
    Yara: You're the one in skirts.
  • Davos seems to excel at dropping snarky comments to his stoic king Stannis:
    Stannis: How's it fare with your pirate?
    Davos: Sallador Saan will join our fleet. Thirty ships; his men know how to fight.
    Stannis: In my experience pirates prefer fighting unarmed men.
    Davos: It does seem the wiser choice.
    • And later when discussing the highborn not respecting lowborn Davos:
    Stannis: You defend these men who insult you behind your back.
    Davos: Well, some are happy to do it to my face.
  • Tyrion, in a conversation with Lord Janos Slynt, implies that he's corrupt.
    Slynt: Are you drunk? I'll not have my honor questioned by an imp!
    Tyrion: I'm not questioning your honor, Lord Janos. I'm denying its existence.
    • It's the tone and the body language that really do it — as if he's saying something placating and friendly.
    • "I hope you enjoy the Wall. I found it surprisingly beautiful... in a brutal, horribly uncomfortable sort of way."
  • After Cersei gives a speech feeling sorry for herself and lamenting how she must be the responsible Lannister sibling:
    Cersei: You've never taken it seriously! You haven't, Jaime hasn't! It's all fallen on me.
    Tyrion: (Beat) As has Jaime repeatedly, according to Stannis Baratheon.

3 — What Is Dead May Never Die
  • Renly's flabbergasted expression and his delivery of "What?!" when Margaery reveals that she knows full well about him and her brother, and is even willing to let Loras share their bed if it helps Renly get her pregnant.
    • Plus, when she first offers herself, Renly's reaction is pretty much "Eww, boobs!"
    • And the moment before that when she came in, a clothed version of Ready for Lovemaking, and he compliments her dress. Talk about a Transparent Closet!
    • There's something comical and cute about Renly's attempt to slow things down by quoting philosophy ("Although some say that the beauty most desired is the beauty most concealed.") Oh Renly, your vast intellect isn't going to help you now.
    • You half expect Renly to run out of the tent screaming about cooties.
  • Shae is complaining about going stir-crazy cooped up in Tyrion's chambers, and when he shushes her because he's reading, she replies "why, you think your father can hear me? He's three hundred miles away!!"
  • "HO! Get up, you lazy sons of whores! There's men outside that want to FUCK YOUR CORPSES!''"
    • Becomes even funnier after Clegane's "rousing speech" before the battle at Blackwater where he promises to do exactly that to any one of his soldiers who dies with a clean sword. Apparently Yoren knew something...
  • Varys on being asked to keep a secret from Cersei: "I love conversations that begin this way."
    • Tyrion's subsequent hazing of the one revealed to be Cersei's snitch, Grand Maester Pycelle. Tyrion and his henchmen are obviously having way too much fun tormenting the guy.
    Tyrion Lannister: ... cut off his manhood, and feed it to the goats.
    Pycelle: Wha-no, no, no!
    Timett: There are no goats, halfman!
    Tyrion: Well, make do!
    • Also amid all of this:
    Tyrion: I don't like his beard.
    (Pycelle's beard is promptly cut off by Bronn)
    • Tyrion leaving a second coin for the whore propels this scene to the top of this list.
    • Bronn reporting on Pycelle:
    Bronn: Filthy old stoat. Almost hate to interrupt.
    Tyrion: No, you don't.
    Bronn: ... No, I don't.

4 — Garden of Bones
  • Two of Stafford Lannister's men playing "Who would kick whose ass" like a pair of fanboys.
    • "How good could he (Ser Loras) be? He's been stabbing Renly Baratheon for years, and Renly ain't dead!"
  • Tywin's unintentional Big Damn Heroes moment, largely for the utterly deadpan way he sees through and calls attention to Arya's disguise.
    Tywin: (to Polliver) This one's a girl. You idiot.
  • Renly snarking on Stannis throughout their parley.
    Renly: Whose banner is that?
    Stannis: My own.
    Renly: (smiles) I suppose if we used the same one the battle would be terribly confusing... Why's your stag on fire?
    Melisandre: The king has taken for his sigil the fiery heart of the Lord of Light / He's the Lord's chosen. Born amidst salt and smoke.
    Renly: "Born amidst salt and smoke?" Is he a ham?
    • Immediately after the ham comment, we cut to Catelyn looking incredibly disapproving... and Loras laughing merrily in the background.
    • Upon seeing Melisandre, Renly snarks that he's relived and now understands that his brother is not a fanatic and the reason that drove Stannis into the arms of a new religion at such old age.
  • The way Renly greets Littlefinger: "Well, if it isn't my favorite whoremonger!"
    • Then there's the moment he drops all niceties and tells his fellow politician exactly what he thinks of him.
    Renly: I don't like you, Lord Baelish. I don't like your face. I don't like the words that come oozing out of your mouth. I don't want you in my tent one more minute than necessary.
  • Dany trying to convince Qarth's council to let her people into their city and mis-pronouncing it "Qwarth" and being politely corrected by their leader.
    • Especially as it's based on Qarth being one of the names that George RR Martin has received the most requests on how to pronounce.
  • The "WTF?!" reactions by non-book readers on Twitter to what happened at the end with Melisandre giving birth to a shadow demon. Including comments like "Did she just give birth to Venom/Hexxus/the smoke monster from LOST?" and "Her vagina is 'dark and full of terrors'" and "Why did Game of Thrones end with the most vile queef I have ever seen?" Carice van Houten's reply was equally hilarious.
  • Tyrion has a few excellent lines while calling out Joffrey and Ser Meryn for their brutal treatment of Sansa:
    Joffrey: You can't talk to me like that! The king can do as he likes!
    Tyrion: The Mad King did as he liked. Has your Uncle Jaime ever told you what happened to him?
    Ser Meryn: No one threatens his Grace in the presence of the Kingsguard!
    Tyrion: I am not threatening the king, Ser. I am educating my nephew. (to Bronn) Bronn, the next time Ser Meryn speaks, kill him. (to Meryn) That was a threat. See the difference?
    • And, naturally, Bronn's input afterward.
    Bronn: (regarding Joffrey) There's no cure for being a cunt.
  • Tyrion blackmailing Lancel into spying on Cersei for him, then saying that he'll let Pycelle go as Lancel initially ordered as a complete afterthought. "I could say I hadn't harmed a single hair on his head, but that would not, strictly speaking, be true."
    • Also Lancel's puzzled look at that comment.
  • Davos and Stannis have a conversation discussing Davos's backstory, and Davos comments that because Stannis chopped off his fingertips, he now has four less finger nails. to clean. Stannis corrects Davos' grammar and tells him he means four fewer finger nails.
    • Stannis objects to Davos using the term "the Red Woman", only to playfully use it himself a few phrases later.
  • A Mood Whiplash moment considering what happens next, but the part where Davos is rowing Melisandre into shore allows them to get some nice digs in at each other. "I am a knight myself, of sorts. A champion of light and life." "That must be very nice for you." Made better by the fact that Carice van Houten and Liam Cunningham are Vitriolic Best Buds in real life.
    • Davos' face when Melisandre is birthing the shadow is also pretty hilarious.

5 — The Ghost of Harrenhal
  • That awkward moment after Jorah told Dany that "There are times I look at you and still can't believe you're real."
  • Rickon endlessly smashing nuts on the table as Bran holds court. And note that this is the first time he appears in the entire Season.
  • After Lancel tells Tyrion about Cersei's stockpile of wildfire, Tyrion screws with him a bit before lamenting that it's boring, then makes him ask Bronn to kill him if anything happens to Tyrion.
    Lancel: Please kill me if anything should happen to Lord Tyrion.
    Bronn: (smugly) It will be my pleasure.
    • Another Tyrion moment, this exchange from his conversation with Cersei:
    Cersei: Always so clever, with your schemes and your plots.
    Tyrion: Schemes and plots are the same thing.
    • Tyrion's reaction upon finding out from Bronn that the "Demon Monkey" controlling Joffrey that the people are talking about is in fact him.
  • Tyrion talking to the alchemists about their wildfire stockpile:
    Tyrion: I remember reading an old sailor's proverb. "Piss on wildfire, and your cock burns off."
    Wisdom Hallyne: Oh! I've not conducted this experiment...
    • This is followed by:
    Bronn: If I could tell you how many crazy old men I've seen pushing carts around army camps making grand claims about jars full of pig shit...
    Hallyne: Our order does not deal in pig shit!
  • Two of the Dothraki casually discussing the best way to loot Xaro's palace, starting with an enormous golden, bejeweled peacock, while Jorah just looks like he'd like to watch. And Dany's reaction, which can be summed up as "No! No stealing!". Then Kovarro takes a cup from a waiter just to empty it and keep it as a consolation prize.
    • While we are at Dany's entourage, her two handmaidens obviously fighting over her attention and approval.
  • Jorah wearing a bright blue ascot/scarf underneath the dirty shirt he's worn since episode eight of the first Season. It looks like the sort of thing he had to be coaxed into wearing. (he continues to wear it until he loses it in the smoking sea in Season Five!)
  • Tywin's war council at Harrenhall showing him hopelessly Surrounded by Idiots
    Reginald Lannister: We've worked through the night, my Lord. Perhaps we'd profit from some sleep.
    Tywin Lannister: Yes, I think you would, Reginald. And, because you're my cousin, I might even let you wake form that sleep! Go! I'm sure your wife must miss you.
    Reginald Lannister: My wife's in Lannisport...
    Tywin Lannister: Well, then you'd better start riding. (pause) Go, before I change my mind and send her your head! If your name wasn't Lannister, you'd be scrubbing out pots in the cook's tent. Go!

6 — The Old Gods and the New
  • When Theon storms into Bran's room and tells him to surrender Winterfell, Bran confusedly asked why, Theon clarifies his men are taking Winterfell for themselves, and Bran's casual "No I won't." response. Just the look on Theon's face when he says that is priceless. He invaded Bran's castle with an army and is standing in the crippled boy's room with armed soldiers and he still doesn't get any respect. He has to sit down on the bed like an annoyed older brother and cajole Bran into surrendering the castle. Very few people can remain such total losers even when heading up a conquering army, but Theon is a very special case.
    • There's something hilarious about the look on Theon's face when Osha takes off her clothes in front of him. The combination of the wide eyes and the way he's still chewing on the apple makes him look surprisingly goofy considering the situation.
  • Robb watching Talisa walk away and being caught by Catelyn (who has a hilariously knowing spark in her eye).
    Robb: I've missed you.
    Catelyn: Yes, you looked practically forlorn.
  • The scene where Sansa is about to be raped goes from absolute, teeth-clenching horror to pitch-black humor the moment Sandor Clegane arrives. Specifically the moment he grabs the leader of the thugs and lifts him up, and the expression on the guy's face as he realizes he's face-to-face with a none-too-happy Hound invokes the kind of dark "Heh, that guy is so screwed" sense of schadenfreude.
    • Shortly before that, the moment where the rioters tear apart the fat priest comes so unexpectedly and is so over the top it just ends up being funny, not to mention comparisons to a Zombie Apocalypse.
    • That one rioter who actually manages to hit the Hound with a rock... and ignores his exposed head in favor of his armored chest. What was he thinking?
  • The Spice King constantly taking the wind out of Dany's sails as he refuses her his ships.
  • Tywin casually insulting Littlefinger:
    Petyr: It is my belief that a moment of chaos affords one opportunities lost soon after.
    Tywin: You say that as if you were the first person to think it. Yes, a crisis is an opportunity. What other brilliant insights have you brought me today?
    • When Littlefinger first walks in and loudly addresses "Lord Tywin", Tywin just rolls his eyes and mutters, "Baelish."
  • Yet again, Joffrey gets Imp-slapped.
    Tyrion: We've had vicious kings and we've had idiot kings, but I don't know if we've ever been cursed with a vicious idiot king before!
  • Tywin bollocking Amory Lorch: "My cup-bearer can read better than you."
  • Jaqen H'ghar letting his emotionless front drop with an exasperated sigh when Arya insists he kill Amory Lorch immediately. It's also almost dark slapstick, when Lorch slams the door of Tywin's chamber open to inform his lord of Arya's crime, only to drop dead on the spot without saying a word.
    • The shift on Tywin's face from surprise to annoyance as he calls for the guards. He seems less concerned with the fact that one of his officers got assassinated and more that he has to find another idiot to replace him.
  • Jon's growing exasperation with Ygritte, not to mention her grinding against him, just to screw with his head.
    • Ygritte providing Jon Snow with the words that will eventually be his new Great House's motto: "You're brave. Stupid, but brave."
  • It's Black Comedy, but when the Lannisters are saying farewell to Myrcella, Cersei tells Tyrion that she wants him to know what it's like to love someone and have them ripped away from you. Tyrion's expression of disdain is priceless, it's like he's just thinking, 'Seriously?'.

7 — A Man Without Honor
  • The hilarious conversation Ygritte and Jon have, concerning men's "stones" and "bones", and whether or not they "get all swollen and bruised when you don't use them". Of which the crowning moment is definitely:
    Ygritte: Aren't there any girl crows?
    Jon: There are no women of the Night's Watch, no.
    Ygritte: So the lads just do it with each other?
    • And after being told that they don't:
      Ygritte: (Beat) Are there sheep at the Wall?
  • Theon tries to keep up his leader act by punching one of his men who talks back to him. The man goes down, but Theon's hand doesn't fare much better.
    • Luwin then snarks at him while they're trying to hunt down Bran and Rickon, pointing out that "So far, hunting seems little different from riding". Having remained a complete loser in front of a crippled boy in the last episode, Theon now has to endure helpless old men snarking at him, despite holding all the cards both times.
  • When Tywin tells Arya the story of how Aegon Targaryen and his dragon burned Harrenhal and its king she reminds him that his two sisters also were responsible and proceeds to name them, the dragons they rode and their swords. An impressed Tywin tells her most girls prefer to be like the pretty maidens of songs with flowers in their hair. True to form, Arya retorts without missing a beat...
    Arya: Most girls are idiots.
    • You know you've dropped a good one when you manage to make Tywin bark out a laugh.
  • Jaime's endless river of snark, intermixed with his biting assessment of Catelyn. Especially his reaction to Brienne.
    "Is that a woman?"
    • Even better, her presence seems to confuse him so much he interrupts one of his speeches to ask about her again.
    • The crowning moment comes when Catelyn orders Brienne while Jaime tries to remember Jon Snow's name. Catelyn first says "Brienne" to which Jaime responds without missing a beat "No, that's not it" and continues trying to remember the name.
  • This little bit when Cersei and Tyrion discuss how they plan to defend King's Landing from Stannis Baratheon's forces:
    Cersei: We have strong high walls. We'll rain fire down on them from above.
    Tyrion "Rain fire on them from above?" You're quoting father aren't you?
    Cersei: And why not? He's a good mind for strategy doesn't he?
    Tyrion: (Sotto-voce) We call it tactics, not strategy, but yes, he does have a good mind for it!
  • Jon's horror on waking up in a certain position with Ygritte — which she then proceeds to milk for every single bit it's worth:
    • Pretty much every scene with Jon and Ygritte. She needles that vow of celibacy relentlessly:
    Ygritte: Do you have sheep at the Wall? ... With your hands then? No wonder you're all so miserable...
    • Her threatening to lie about Jon breaking his vow is epic and hilarious:
    Ygritte: I swear it old Master King Crow sir! We were only close together for warmth, and then, I felt it! Right up against me backside like a club! I can show you the bruise on me tailbone. And before I knew what was where his... his... Well it was all out in the open all angry as you like and I didn't want to want it, but ohhh! I did! And he spread me legs and... ruined! The shame of it! Now I can never marry a perfumed lord! What will me poor savage father say?
    Jon Snow: Turn back around.
    Ygritte: And I thought we were done but he said: (deep voice) "Turn back around."
    • Best part about the whole thing is the expression on Jon's face. He's caught somewhere between being embarrassed, laughing, and pissed off, and doesn't know how he should feel while she's mocking him.

8 — The Prince of Winterfell
  • Jaime and Brienne's entire interaction, with Jaime constantly needling Brienne and her constantly verbally slapping him down (and also taking the opportunity to force him to his knees for the 'horses' comment as well as the need to hide.)
    Jaime: Have you known many men? I suppose not. Women? Horses? Ahh...
  • "Are you the dumbest cunt alive?" Why, yes, Yara. Yes, Theon is.
    • Yara mocking Theon by wondering who gave him the tougher fight: the six year-old or the cripple?
    • And this is after she arrived at Winterfell by riding a circle around him, having her men totally ignore him, and start scoffing down his food without, apparently, any sort of greeting or invitation.
    • Honestly the entire What an Idiot speech Yara gave Theon after he revealed that he got tricked by Bran and company.
  • Tyrion, Bronn and Varys planning how to combat Stannis' forces. Well, Tyrion's trying to; Bronn and Varys aren't exactly helping. They do give us some great quips, though.
    • Specifically, Bronn just wants to clean his nails, much to Tyrion's frustration. And when Tyrion asks him to wear the goldcloak, Bronn argues it incessantly until Tyrion gives up. Then, when Varys arrives, he goes right back to picking his nails.
    • Also, even Tyrion can't pronounce all of George R.R. Martin's elaborate names! What makes it especially funny is that Bronn and Tyrion go back and forth for a few moments trying to figure out how to pronounce this particular author's name, and then Varys comes and (naturally) pronounces it correctly without a second thought, as if were the easiest thing in the world. Tyrion and Bronn exchange an exasperated look. "Of course you'd know how to pronounce it, smartass."
    • Also:
      Varys: If Stannis does attack the Mud Gate, what is our plan?
      Bronn: We can throw books at his men.
      Varys: We don't have that many books.
      Bronn: We don't have that many men either.
    • And again, when Bronn explains how he secured King's Landing's food supply against theft in the event of a siege:
      Bronn: Me and the lads rounded up all the known thieves.
      Tyrion: For questioning?
      Bronn: Ah, no. It's just the unknown thieves we need to worry about now.
  • After Joffrey boasts that he'll kill Stannis:
    • This is after Joffrey has declared that "now is the time to strike", and Tyrion is trying to politely get him to understand that they are in fact preparing for a siege, as evidenced by all the men around them loading catapults and shoring up the walls.
    • Incidentally, if you look closely, you see Lord Varys himself struggling not to laugh as Tyrion makes those sarcastic comments to Joffrey.
      • When Joffrey states that "now is the time to strike" while all the men are preparing for Stannis' siege you can quickly see him open-mouthed looking at Tyrion as if he is in disbelief of how stupid their king is.
  • An insightful discussion on theology in Westeros:
    Tyrion: The Lord of Light wants his enemies burned. The Drowned God wants them drowned. Why are all the gods such vicious cunts? Where's the god of tits and wine?
    Varys: "In the Summer Isles they worship a fertility goddess with sixteen teats.
    Tyrion: We should sail there immediately!
  • Cersei explaining what makes Varys so dangerous:
    Cersei: He doesn't have a cock.
    Tyrion: Neither do you.
  • A recollection of the dire moments during the defense of Storm's End has some oblique funny bits thanks to Stannis' deadpan, monotone delivery.
    Then we ate the cats, never liked them, so fine... I do like dogs, good animals, loyal, but we ate them.
  • Stannis recounting how when Davos got through the siege at Storm's End with food:
    Stannis: You slipped right through in your little black-sailed boat with your onions.
    Davos: And potatoes, and some salted beef, I believe.
    Stannis: "Every man on Storm's End wanted to kiss you that night.
    Davos: I was relieved they did not.
  • When Arya sees Jaqen after failing to get him to kill Tywin and furiously asks him where he's been:
    Jaqen: A man has patrol duty.
    • "Unname me." "No." "Please?" You know things are getting a little out of hand when a full-fledged master assassin is begging a little girl for his life.
    • The above exchange leads to:
    Jaqen: A girl lacks honor.
    (Arya shrugs as if to say "Yeah, so?")

9 — Blackwater
  • Tyrion's understated "Oh, fuck me" when he sees the men he's just defeated were only a small part of Stannis's Stormlanders charging up the beach at his little force.
  • Sandor's brief but memorable Rousing Speech to his men as he bulls out of the gates
    "Any man dies with a clean sword, I'LL RAPE HIS FUCKING CORPSE!!!!"
  • "Any of those flaming fucking arrows come near me, and I'll strangle you with your own guts."
  • Many of Sandor's lines after retreating behind the lines:
    (being given water as a refreshment, he spits it out) "Fuck the water, bring me wine!"
    "Eat shit, dwarf."
    "Fuck the Kingsguard. Fuck the city. Fuck the king."
  • Sansa's entire pre-battle exchange with Joffrey, doubling as a Crowning Moment of Awesome as she tries to goad Joffrey into fighting in the much more dangerous vanguard position by saying that of course he'll ride in the vanguard, since Robb does and he's "only a pretender."
  • Sansa's conversation with Tyrion, in which she subtly lets him know exactly what she thinks of the Lannisters.
    Sansa: I pray for your safe return.
    Tyrion: (pleased) Do you?
    Sansa: Yes. Just as I pray for our king.
  • As they're preparing for the battle, Bronn asks Tyrion if he knows how to use the axe he's armed himself with. Tyrion's response?
    "I chopped wood once. No, wait, I watched my brother chop wood."
  • A moment that manages to be both funny and heartwarming; Tyrion calls Bronn his friend.
    Bronn: Oh, are we friends now?
    Tyrion: Of course we are. Just because I pay you for your services doesn't diminish our friendship.
    Bronn: Enhances it, really.
    Tyrion: Ooh, 'enhances'. Fancy words from a sellsword!
    Bronn: Been spending time with fancy folks.
  • After Bronn and some soldiers sing The Rains of Castamere in a tavern before the battle, one of the men asks Bronn where he learned "the Lannister song". Bronn's reply? "Drunk Lannisters."
  • The exchange between Joffrey and Tyrion on the ramparts just prior to the battle, where they pass comments and insults to each other via the Hound and Lancel.
    Joffrey: Hound tell the Hand that his king asked him a question!
    Sandor: (sighs) The king has asked you a question.
    Tyrion: Ser Lancel, tell the Hound to tell the king that the Hand is extremely busy.
    Lancel: (to the Hound) The Hand would like me to tell you, to tell the king—
  • Varys' comment about the bells.
    Varys: Always hated the bells. They ring for horror. A dead king. A city under siege.
    Tyrion: A wedding.
    Varys: Exactly.
  • Cersei's reaction to Sansa leading prayers.
    Drunk!Cersei: (amused yet incredulous) What are you doing?
    Sansa: Praying.
    Drunk!Cersei: (voice dripping with contempt and bile) You're perfect aren't you?
  • Cersei lamenting Stannis's rigidness: "I'd have a better chance of seducing his horse."
  • The disinterested yet gloating way Cersei delivers the line: "I'm afraid these fine ladies are in for a bit of a rape".
  • Drunk Cersei complaining bitterly about how when she and Jaime were young not even their father could tell them apart but that they were still treated differently as they got older.
    Drunk!Cersei: Jaime was taught to fight with sword and lance and mace and I was taught to smile and sing and please. He was heir to Casterly Rock and I was sold to some stranger like a horse to be ridden whenever he desired.
    Sansa: You were Robert's queen!
    Drunk!Cersei: And you will be Joffrey's. Enjoy.
  • Tyrion's quips to Joffrey:
    Joffrey: I could tell the Hound to cut you in half!
    Tyrion: That would make me a quarter-man. Just doesn't have the same ring to it...
  • Tyrion's inspirational speech to rally his men before taking the fight to Stannis.
    Tyrion: Those are brave men knocking on our door. Let's go kill them!
  • Tyrion waddling onto the screen and hacking a man's leg off with an axe and killing him is darkly humorous.
  • Stannis suddenly realizes that the men are looking up to him so he has to say something... so he produces a straightforward one-line-speech: "Come with me and take this city!"
  • When he takes off his helm, Loras should be covered in blood, sweat and grime after slaying a large number of Stannis' soldiers, yet he looks like he just stepped out of a hair salon or a teen magazine! In addition to being clean, not a single strand on his curly head is out of place (and he even performs a mild Hair Flip). A popular animated gif on tumblr pokes fun at this highly improbable moment.
    • Loras' pristine condition becomes even more ridiculous when Tywin walks in moments later because the old man is covered in blood, sweat and grime.

10 — Valar Morghulis
  • Tywin's horse taking a dump in the Red Keep.
  • A very small moment is Sansa's reaction o her engagement to Joffrey being revoked. She acts like she's heartbroken and depressed about it, but when she turns and walks out of the court, she smiles and giggles to herself in sheer relief at the prospect of being free at last! And seeing as we hadn't seen Sansa smile or laugh in a long time, it's very pleasing as well.
  • Varys's "Bitch, please" look when Ros feels between his legs.
  • Jaime is completely gobsmacked at Brienne's swift massacre of the rapists — and he even partakes in a Quizzical Tilt as she finishes off the last one.
  • Everything involving Theon and the Bolton hornblower in the Season Two finale.
    Theon: (while trying to sleep) I will kill that man. I don't care how many arrows they feather me with, how many spears they run through me, I will kill that horn-blowing cunt before I fall!
    (later) I will kill that man. I swear it to the Drowned God, the old gods, the new gods, TO EVERY FUCKING GOD IN EVERY FUCKING HEAVEN, I WILL KILL THAT MAN!

    • It takes a sharp turn into morbidly hilarious when the hornblower in question is revealed to be Ramsay Snow himself in Season Three.
  • Theon and Maester Luwin discussing his situation:
    Theon: Send more ravens!
    Luwin: (tiredly) You killed all the ravens.
  • Theon's speech as a whole as he tries, once more, to be pretty awesome and just falls flat. Not necessarily because the speech itself wasn't completely kickass, but right at the end, when he gets whacked on the head by his own man.
    "Thought he would never shut up."
    "It was a good speech. I didn't want to interrupt."
    • Theon's ridiculous face as he does his battle cry. Looks like pure Narm is inbound, but then... THUNK.
    • Because the hornblower is probably Ramsay Snow, whoever kills him probably will be immortalized in bronze on the shores of Pyke (and quite a few other places) if they succeed.
  • Varys asking Tyrion why he would suspect him of lying.
    Tyrion: To create strife between my sister and me.
    Varys: Where before there was nothing but love?
  • Varys explaining to Tyrion what he missed while he was out.
    Varys: The Gold Cloaks are now firmly in the hands of your father. Or your sister. ... It varies from cloak to cloak.
  • It turns out, the Dothraki actually can carry that golden peacock statue out.
  • Dolorous Edd's ever-growing annoyance with Sam. "Before I die, please stop talking."
    • Edd has a wonderful ongoing commentary of these.
      Sam: If you step back and think about it, the thing about Gilly that's so interesting is...
      Edd: Just bloody kill me.
      Sam: No, truly. The thing about her I that find so interesting is that after all that Craster's done to her, she still has hope life might get better.
      Edd: The thing about Gilly that you find so interesting is that she said six words to you.
  • When Arya, Gendry, and Hot Pie find Jaqen, we get this exchange:

  • Some of the History and Lore DVD extras is comedy gold, especially Ygritte.
    "If a man wants a woman, he has to prove he can give her strong and cunning sons. If she tries to slit his throat, he don't let her."

    Season 3 
1 — Valar Dohaeris
  • When Tywin chides Tyrion for "bedding harlots and drinking with thieves" in the middle of one of his storms of insults, Tyrion still has the spirit to insert one of his classic retorts:
    • He then is going to say something but shuts himself up and seems to be about to laugh (before Tywin continues to chide him). The gesture is often theorized by serious fans to imply Tyrion almost accidentally said "bedding thieves" but managed to stop himself.
  • When Tywin recriminates Tyrion for bringing a whore into his bed, the little lion retorts with the aside but confident technicality that it wasn't Tywin's bed at the time.
  • When Jon's in the Wildling camp, he sees a rather interesting sight — a frickin' giant. Ygritte casually asks if it's the first time he's seen one; all he can do is nod with the most amazing pole-axed expression on his face.
  • Tormund Giantsbane's amused reaction when Jon mistakes him for the King Beyond the Wall.
    Tormund: "Your Grace?" You hear that? Now all you better kneel every time I fart!"
  • Bronn's look of complete and utter irritation at being called away by Podrick with an urgent message from Tyrion, just as he was about to remove his prostitute's remaining undergarments with his teeth.
    Bronn: I will murder you, boy!
  • Bronn trolling Meryn Trant and his fellow Kingsguard mook.
    Bronn: Ah! Look at these two shining warriors! Ser Taryn Mant and... Ser Whosit of Whocares.
  • Bronn asking for his wages to be doubled since he's now a Knight.
    Tyrion: I don't even know how much I pay you now.
    Bronn: That means you can afford it.
  • The entire back and forth between Kraznys, the owner of the Unsullied slave army, and his translator Missandei as Dany looks over the soldiers, as she has to invent most of his entire side of the conversation off the top of her head, as he's spent most of it insulting Dany and Jorah. In particular, the bit after she translates Jorah's comment about all men fearing death.
    Kraznys: Tell the old man he smells like piss.
    Missandei:...Truly, master?
    Kraznys: Of course not! Are you a girl or a goat, to ask this?
  • Davos asks Salladhor Saan a favor as a friend, saying Saan was at his wedding. He replies that Davos was at four of his.
  • The dinner scene with Cersei, Joffrey, Margaery and Loras. Just witnessing two of the most loathed characters in the series be in such an uncomfortable and awkward position (while still seeing fit to spew snark and contempt for each other) simply because the Tyrells are smugly playing up their Incorruptible Pure Pureness image for all its worth, as well as the fact Cersei and Joffrey are both majorly in their debt, is just epic.
  • Joffrey having to think for a moment before saying "charitable works" like the concept was completely foreign to him!
  • Joffrey squirming in his tiny litter (which resembles an undersized medieval TARDIS) at being back where he was nearly lynched and his utter terror of being near to his subjects again is hilarious, as is his Oh Crap! face when he realizes his new fiance is going to be far less submissive and easy to push around.
  • The Dothraki traveling by boat for the first time and getting seasick.
  • When Cersei makes the same joke as Pycelle last season: "You must be proud to be as funny as a man whose balls brush his knees." Cersei seems so proud of herself for saying what she probably thought was the most ingenious jab against her brother ever. Tyrion's unimpressed reaction sells it.

2 — Dark Wings, Dark Words
  • Joffrey trying on wedding suits in a scene that appears more like something from Project Runway, plus Cersei saying a rejected fabric sample should be enough for Margaery's dress.
  • As Loras walks away, Sansa is so distracted by his cute butt that she almost forgets that Margaery is there.
  • Olenna Tyrell is a nonstop source of this, tossing off bon mots worthy of the Dowager Countess of Grantham, including calling her son an idiot for getting them involved with Renly, and only reacting with mild disappointment when Sansa reveals what a monster her soon to be grandson-in-law is.
    Olenna: Loras is young, and very good at knocking men off horses with a stick. That does not make him wise. As to your fathead father...

    Olenna: (to Sansa) "Come sit with me, dear, I'm much less boring than these others."

    Olenna: We should have stayed well out of all this, if you'd ask me. But, once the cow's been milked there's no squirting the cream back up her udder, so here we are, to see things through.

    Olenna: (to a servant) Are you going to bring the food, or do you mean to starve us to death?

    Olenna: Do you know my son? The lord of Highgarden?
    Sansa: I haven't had the pleasure.
    Olenna: It's no great pleasure, believe me. Ponderous oaf. My husband was an oaf as well, the late lord Luthor. He managed to ride off a cliff whilst hawking.

    Sansa: The king is as brave as a lion.
    Olenna: Yes, yes, all Lannisters are lions. And when a Tyrell farts it smells like a rose.

    Olenna: Tell me about this 'Joffrey.' Has this boy mistreated you?
    Sansa: ...
    Olenna: Has he ripped out your tongue?
  • Thoros of Myr and Anguy speaking in reaction of Hot Pie:
    Anguy: (looks at Hot Pie attempting to climb a small wall) "Half the country is starving and look at this one."
    Thoros: (looks at Hot Pie and chuckles) "Maybe he is the reason half the country's starving."
  • Gendry playing the Audience Surrogate for how badly Arya played Jaqen's deal of three deaths.
  • Margaery: "The subtleties of politics are often lost on me."
  • Mance Rayder describes the impossibly complicated enmities between the Wildling tribes, including that all the others hate the Cave People (apparently the equivalent of the Greyjoys).
  • Jaime's snark almost reaches critical mass when he's needling Brienne about Renly having been gay:
    Jaime: It's a shame the throne isn't made out of cocks, they'd have never got him off it.
    • Jaime also says he knew Renly was gay ever since they first met as little kids.
    • Crowning Moment of Funny earlier, when Jaime noticed that Brienne fancied Renly, he comments that Renly wouldn't have been interested in her, since she looks too much like a man, and Renly prefers curly little girls like Ser Loras Tyrell.
  • An unusually flustered Tyrion struggling to explain that just because he thinks Sansa is objectively attractive, that doesn't mean he's attracted to her.
    • And earlier when Shae realises how and why Tyrion knows Ros.
      Shae: (Death Glare) She's a whore.
      Tyrion: Yes well, we shouldn't be judgmental about these things...
  • Jaime trying to negotiate with a Bolton commander (Locke) who clearly knows how lords deal with subordinates:
    Jaime: Let us go, my father will pay you whatever you want.
    Locke: Enough to buy me a new head?
  • There's something darkly funny about Joffrey acting like a schoolboy with a crush around Margaery due to her talking about murdering things.
    • Also Margaery hinting/explaining to Joffrey why she and Renly never had sex because he was gay. She first says that Renly always made excuses to avoid sleeping with her... except one night when he got drunk and "suggested something that sounded very painful and couldn't possibly result in children."
    • Also hilarious is watching Margaery pretending to be eating out of Joffrey's hand, after seeing how politically-savvy she is. After several seasons of him abusing Sansa, it's satisfying to watch his next betrothed play him like a violin. Especially funny is the fact that while Joffrey is someone who is horribly misogynistic, he's completely willing to let Margaery go on a hunt with him (and says that women hunting "is not unheard of") just because she expressed interest in going with him. Also murder.
  • Listening to Cersei Slut-Shaming Margaery is hilarious because really, what's some cleavage next to cheating on your (admittedly even more promiscuous) husband with your twin brother and then cheating on your twin brother with your first cousin whenever he's out of town?
  • There is something funny about Jojen never losing his affable tone of voice even when he has a spear on his neck, without shame admitting he's a Non-Action Guy and his sister was a much better fighter and continuing his conversation with that same friendly tone.
    • Later Meera's fondly amused look on her face when she sees Bran and Jojen talking and her glib snarky "why don't you ask them" answer to Osha's question of what where Jojen and Brann talking about. She seems quite aware her brother comes of as mysterious and a bit of a Creepy Child at first glance and is fully capitalizing on it.
  • Lord Commander Mormont's succinct and successful method of getting Sam back on his feet, when he hears from his cohorts how Sam's struggling to go on.
    Mormont: Tarly, I forbid you to die.
  • Tyrion wonders "Is there an idiot in any village that trusts Littlefinger?" Oh, Ned...

3 — Walk of Punishment
  • Tywin's first small council meeting is both funny and interesting because it's a psychological portrait of the various characters. First Varys, Littlefinger, Tyrion, and Pycelle all step into the chamber and see that Tywin has rearranged the seats: whereas before they were all spaced fairly evenly around the table, now there is only one chair located at the head of the table (Tywin's), and all the rest are arranged in a single line down one side of the table. Tywin takes his seat and stares at them intently, while they all remain frozen, unsure what to do. Finally Varys seems about to make a move, but before he can act Littlefinger suddenly darts forward, and takes the seat nearest to Tywin. Varys and Pycelle follow, taking the next two seats. Cersei now enters the room and observes the situation. She wordlessly strides over to the table, picks up the fourth chair, carries it around the table, and sets it down next to her father on the other side, and takes her seat. All eyes now turn to Tyrion. He too wordlessly strides over to the table, and slowly and methodically begins to drag the last chair to the opposite end of the table, and sets it up directly facing his father. Finally, Tyrion speaks:
    Tyrion: Intimate. Lovely table. Better chairs than the old small council chamber. Conveniently close to your own quarters, I like it!
  • When Littlefinger starts talking about his plan to wed Lysa Arryn, Varys does his trademark "Oh my god" eye roll.
  • Tyrion points out that sending out Littlefinger, the Master of Coin, right before the most expensive event of the season (the royal wedding), is troublesome at best, to which everyone responds with silent, annoyed agreement. Then, Tywin one-ups Tyrion by naming him the new Master of Coin to his son's utter perplexion — since everyone in the room, including him, know that considering his liberal attitude towards money he is the worst possible candidate. They smugly wish him luck, with Pycelle ending it with a "hear, hear".
  • At Lord Hoster Tully's Viking Funeral his son Edmure attempts to fire a flaming arrow to set the boat on fire and misses. Three times. While the boat is getting further and further away. After the third time Blackfish just shoves him out of the way and hits with the first shot, and then tosses the bow back at his nephew with a look of utter disdain. Hilarious and a great Establishing Character Moment for both of them.
    • Blackfish doesn't even wait to see the boat catch fire. As soon as he fires his arrow, he turns around and tosses the bow to Edmure, proceeding to walk off, an Unflinching Walk without the explosion.
    • Robb could barely keep from laughing during Edmure's failed attempts. And Catelyn shoots him an absolutely perfect Death Glare when he does and gives a massive side eye to her brother. It's also a great reminder that despite being King Robb is still only a teenager.
    • It's not only Robb, as you can hear several people in the background desperately trying not to laugh.
  • When Mance sees the spectacle made by the White Walkers with the re-arranged corpses of their victims, he remarks, "Always the artists."
  • Littlefinger's advice to Tyrion on becoming the new Master of Coin? "Keep a low profile."
    Tyrion: If I had a gold dragon for every time I heard that joke, I'd be richer than you are.
    Littlefinger: You are richer than I am.
    Tyrion: (beat) Good point.
  • Bronn calling Littlefinger "Twatbeard."
    • That's Lord Twatbeard, thank you very much!
  • Tyrion trying to explain the concept of borrowing money to Bronn. When it comes to explaining how he'd possibly force his badass sellsword to pay his debts, Tyrion just gives up and says with irritation, "This is why I don't lend you money."
  • Tyrion gives the virgin Podrick a night with three prostitutes as a reward for loyal service. Pod returns later, coin-purse in hand.
    Tyrion: (as Podrick walks into the room) Ah, the return of the conquering hero. Does he have a bit of a jaunt in his step?
    Bronn: The lad's practically skipping.
    Tyrion: You were gone a long time. I trust you got your money's worth. Or should I say my money's worth.
    *Podrick places the purse of gold Tyrion gave him on the table.*
    Tyrion: (confused) It was a gift, Podrick. This is more than I give you in a year.
    Bronn: He's a squire. You don't pay him.
    Tyrion: Oh. Then it's much more than I give you in a year.
    Podrick: They wouldn't take it, my lord.
    * Beat*
    Bronn: Maybe they're trying to curry favor with the new master of coin.
    Tyrion: Have you ever known a whore to turn down gold? They're happy enough to take it when I give it to them.
    Bronn: What did you tell them?
    Podrick: Nothing.
    Tyrion: What did you do to them?
    Podrick: Lots of things.
    Tyrion: (overly patient) And they seemed to like these things?
    Podrick: Yes, my lord.
    Bronn: Of course they seemed to like it, they're paid to seem to like it.
    Tyrion: Only they weren't paid.
    Bronn: What are you saying? That these ladies enjoyed him so much, they gave him the time for free?
    Tyrion: Is that what you're telling us?
    *Podrick giving Tyrion a magnificently satisfied little smirk; Tyrion looking at him in disbelief.*
    Tyrion: Sit down, Podrick. *pours everyone a cup of wine * We're going to need details. Copious details.
    • And one of their techniques is called the Meereenese Knot. Anyone familiar with George R.R. Martin's posts while writing A Dance with Dragons laughed their asses off.
    • It's the look that Bronn and Tyrion exchange just before Tyrion tells Pod to sit down that really sells it: a combination of stunned disbelief and intense curiosity on both sides.
  • Anguy the Archer taunting Sandor, one of the deadliest killers in the land.
    Anguy: [Placing a bag over his head] Sorry about this, but you're an ugly fucker, and I don't want to see you no more. [Smacks his head against the frame of a door] Watch your head.
  • Though the scene as a whole is a big Tearjerker or Moment of Heartwarming, Gendry and Hot Pie's incredibly awkward goodbye is hilarious.
    Hot Pie: Don't get stabbed.
    Gendry: Don't...burn your fingers...
    • Also Hot Pie's goodbye gift to Arya — a piece of bread shaped (somewhat) like a wolf.
  • For once it's Brienne who's getting in some digs at Jaime, who gets rather petulant: "I've been sitting in a muddy pen wrapped in chains for the past year!!!" Also, "You were not beating me!". Jaime gets so irritated by being one-upped by Brienne his only retort is to mutter that she will be raped by the Boltons tonight... and at that point all humor decidedly leaves the scene.
  • Reverse Mood Whiplash when a metal cover of The Bear and the Maiden Fair is played over the credits after Jaime's hand is chopped off.

4 — And Now His Watch is Ended
  • Olenna continues to snark at everyone and anyone in sight over everything.
    Olenna: Are you here to seduce me?
    Varys: A little obvious perhaps...
    Olenna: Oh no please, seduce away! It's been so long. But I rather think it's all for naught; what happens when the nonexistent bumps against the decrepit? (Varys looks down at his groin and up again in shock) ...A question for the philosophers.
  • Olenna's off the cuff burn of Sansa.
    Olenna: Why shouldn't I take an interest (in Sansa)? She's an interesting girl.
    Varys: Is she?
    Olenna: No, not particularly.
  • Olenna's rant about Sigil Spamming, especially since the Tyrell sigil and motto isn't as Badass as that of Houses Stark, Greyjoy or Lannister.
  • A discussion of Mace Tyrell's military prowess:
    Cersei Lannister: I seem to recall he laid siege to Storm's End for the better part of a year.
    Olenna Tyrell: All he laid siege to was the banquet table in the command tent.
  • Dolorous Edd sadly remarking about how he "never knew Bannen could smell so good."
  • The fact that Varys, the spymaster/spider, and Ros his confidant prostitute double agent are discussing Pod's prowess in bed is hilarious in a way.
  • During dinner, Cersei is trying to convince Tywin that the Tyrells are a threat to their power, pointing out how easily Margaery is manipulating Joffrey. Tywin responds with a "The Reason You Suck" Speech, pointing out that Cersei has done a terrible job at trying to control Joffrey, and that she's not nearly as smart as she thinks she is. It's just the way he so bluntly explains it to her which makes it so damn funny.
  • Joffery excitedly giving Margaery a tour around the sept while giddily telling her about how various Targaryens died there.
  • Grenn and Dolorous Edd shoveling pig shit.
  • Partially a Crowning Moment of Awesome, but the look on everyone's faces when it's revealed that Dany speaks fluent Valyrian, and knew exactly what the slaver was saying was rather amusing.
    • And as she sacks the city the looks Jorah and Barristan give each other. They look like a couple of adoring fanboys gushing over their Khaleesi, especially when you contrast their behavior around each other previously. Fan art has naturally run with this.
    • When the Unsullied bang their spears in allegiance to Dany, we see Jorah begin bobbing his head to the beat, with a look of "Oh hells yeah!"

5 — Kissed by Fire
  • Some of Jaime's old self starting to return, when he decides to annoy Brienne by sharing her bath.
    • After insulting Renly once more, Jaime's utter shock when Brienne furiously stands up in front of him, completely stark naked. What makes it funny is that his eyes go completely wide and he honestly doesn't appear to know where to look!
  • Littlefinger being able to completely destabilise a Tyrell plot, seemingly in less than a day. He sends an attractive man to seduce Loras, who then manipulates the Knight of Flowers into joking about his engagement to Sansa. Littlefinger then passes the information back to Tywin and Cersei. Also doubles as a CMOA.
  • Tyrion's comment on the plot to marry Sansa to Loras. Based on their interaction in "The Climb", Tyrion's joke is actually an accurate assessment of the kind of marriage Loras and Sansa would've had.
    Tyrion: She's a lovely girl. Missing some of Ser Loras' favorite bits, but I'm sure they'll make do.
  • Cersei's Oh Crap! moment when she finds out Tywin plans to wed her to Loras Tyrell, especially since it's a complete 180 from her smug expression at Tyrion being forced to marry Sansa.
  • Stannis's conversation with his daughter, Shireen, is an odd mixture of funny and sad. Starting but not ending with his awkward inability to return the favor when she hugs him.
    Shireen: Mother said you fought in a battle. Did you win?
    Stannis: No. [[Sighs]]
  • Jon and Ygritte's sex scene starts out with some Self-Deprecation, mocking the show's previous tendency to only have the women naked during sex scenes with Ygritte asking why Jon isn't taking off his clothes.
    • Ygritte mocking Jon with her catchphrase just as she receives the "Lord's kiss" from him: "You know nothing, Jon Sno-oh-ohhh!"
    • Jon acting incredibly cocky upon realising he's impressed Ygritte with his bedroom prowess, despite being a virgin... only for his smugness to quickly disappear when he inadvertently leads Ygritte to list all of her previous lovers, in copious detail.
  • In a darkly funny way, Roose Bolton trolling Jaime about the fate of King's Landing and Cersei.
    "You haven't heard...? Stannis Baratheon laid siege to King's Landing. Sailed into Blackwater Bay. Stormed the gates with thousands of men. And your sister... How can I put this... your sister... *agonizingly long pause* alive and well. Your father's forces prevailed."
  • Beric muses that he's now been killed by a Clegane twice. Thoros comments to Arya "You'd think he'd learn."
  • Ser Jorah recalling how his Knighting ceremony took over 16 hours and he desperately needed to pee. Ser Barristan says it was the same with his Knighting ceremony.
    • The battle took 16 hours, not the knighting ceremony. Not that it makes the punchline less funny.
  • Before it becomes utterly emotionally-wretching, there's a part where Cersei smiles smugly at Tyrion who snaps at her and tell her to stop it because she's making him uncomfortable. For a brief moment, Cersei and Tyrion are five year olds, bickering at each other, despite being children of one of the most powerful Houses on Westeros and holding direct power over the entire country.

6 — The Climb
  • Olenna even gets some great barbs on Tywin, cheerfully admitting that Loras is "a sword swallower through and through" and asking if he didn't dabble with other boys even once in his youth, which almost causes Tywin to lose his composure.
    • After hearing various people use various euphemisms to describe Loras' homosexuality, hearing her finally come out and call it "a discreet bit of buggery" is hilarious.
  • Loras and Sansa making awkward small talk about brooches and pins, as well as talking about their wedding and the clothes and food... while almost forgetting to mention the most important part, the bride. How is anyone surprised that he's gay?
    • Only Sansa... which is both funny and sad.
    • It also doubles as a Tear Jerker when you recall that Renly wore a cloak of green brocade while watching Loras joust. Since they cannot openly express their love for each other at the tourney, Renly dressed himself in one of the sigil colours of his boyfriend's family as a subtle romantic gesture. In Loras' imagination, Renly as his "bride" would be decked in the green and gold of House Tyrell.
  • Tyrion's comment to Cersei on Tywin's plan to marry them to Sansa and Loras respectively: he has no idea which of the four is getting the worst end of the deal.
    Tyrion: Probably Sansa, but Ser Loras will certainly come to know a deep and singular misery.
    • After Tyrion rhetorically asks what they can do about their situation, Cersei (watching Loras and Sansa from a window) answers tonelessly "We could have them both killed". Her wistful expression clearly says "Don't I wish..."; Tyrion ignores her.
  • The start of Tyrion's very awkward and apologetic explanation to both Sansa and Shae about the marriage situation:
    Tyrion: [sighs] Where to begin...
  • Tyrion's indignation that Joffrey's plan to kill him was to simply order a member of the Kingsguard to attack him during the siege, when others would surely see, rather than being discreet with something like poison. He sounds more annoyed with Joffrey's stupidity in his methods than the fact he tried to have Tyrion killed.
  • This exchange:
    Arya Stark: (about Melisandre) I don't like that woman.
    Anguy: (he and Gendry leer at Melisandre) That's because you're a girl.
    Arya Stark: What does that have to do with anything?
  • The scene where Jaime frowns because Roose refuses to drink any of the wine offered when Jaime offers to pour it for him. Olenna refuses Tywin pouring her wine in the next scene. In both cases it's because it might be poisoned.
    • Note that in the books it is explained that Roose only drinks medicinal wine (hippocras); this is not explicitly remarked upon in the TV show though but he does say "I don't partake."
  • As they are climbing the Wall, Ygritte asks Jon if he is staring at her ass.
  • Roose commenting on Jaime having overplayed his... (beat)... position (i.e. overplayed his hand).
    • Jaime also trying to cut his meat with one hand wielding a knife. Brienne looks on exasperated till she helps with her fork, bringing it down very hard to hold the meat steady with a definite air of 'Oh, for god's sake. '
  • Varys and Littlefinger are looking at the Iron Throne and agree it is an "ugly old thing" yet has a certain attraction. Varys then calls it "The Lysa Arryn of chairs".
    • Littlefinger says that while the Iron Throne is rumored to have over 1000 swords, it really only has about 200. He counted them himself because he was bored. Also a nice Mythology Gag, as the throne Martin envisioned in the books is much, much larger than the one used in the series.
  • The fact that Littlefinger used a king to get rid of a prostitute is a pure Black Comedy.
  • Edmure declares that no law can compel him to marry someone he hasn't chosen, then Blackfish says, "The Law of My Fist is about to compel your teeth!" Edmure is forced to agree.
  • Osha and Meera's childish bickering over who is a better hunter and nearly starting a catfight over the subject.
    • Also the tired and mildly annoyed "Hodor?" when their argument wakes up the big guy.
    • Bran attempts to settle the argument with a weary resigned "You're both good skinners", and reminding Osha after she complained that when she met Meera, Meera had a knife to her throat, that this is exactly how Osha met Bran. And she sort of shrugs like she's resisting the urge to say "that's different!"
  • Thoros and Melisandre's first meeting and their snarking off about each other.
    • Melisandre's complete invasion of Beric's personal space while she and Thoros chat like he's not even there.
  • While a truly nasty and horrifying scene, Theon's Torture scene opened hilariously with Ramsay Bolton proving what a troll he is by waking Theon by way of Westeros's answer to the vuvuzela.
    "The Boy": Sorry! Were you sleeping?
  • Ygritte telling Jon Snow that she is with him until the end... but if he ever betrays her, she will chop off his cock and wear it on a necklace.
  • When Edmure is reluctant to marry Frey's daughter, and Robb reminds him that he wanted to make amends for the failure at Stonemill, Blackfish leans to Edmure and asks in a loud dramatic whisper if Edmure recalls that "heroic engagement". Then everybody just stares at Edmure, while he stutters, babbles and finally conceeds to the marriage.
    • "I had something less permanent in mind."
  • Tyrion's perfect definition of his otherwise gloomy situation. Greatly delivered: "Jaime or not, I'm truly fucked."
  • Cersei referring to Margaery as "the little doe-eyed whore."

7 — The Bear and the Maiden Fair
  • Margaery explaining to Sansa what it takes for a man to please a woman.
    Sansa: How do you know all this? Did your mother teach you?
    Margaery: (gives Sansa a long look) Yes sweet girl, my mother taught me.
    • Did her brother teach her?
    • Given her open attitude towards Loras' orientation, we can wonder if Olenna let Margaery herself freely experiment. For an aspiring queen-to-be like Margaery, the significant advantage of possessing that kind of knowledge on top of political savviness simply cannot be underestimated.
  • Margaery's experimentation in general. As someone on Tumblr put it:
    [monotone] gentle men, rough men, ugly men, pretty men
    [enthusiastically ecstatic] PRETTY GIRLS
  • Osha is so pissed off at having to do all the work at camp that she's driven to ask Hodor why the Reeds aren't helping. Hodor gives the inevitable response, but is also as irritated as we've ever heard him, like he's trying to say "yeah, I guess...?"
    • More like "Seven Hells, woman! I only say one thing? Can't you people go five minutes without asking me for my opinion?!"
  • Blackfish telling Catelyn that "I've seen wet shits I've liked better than Walder Frey". He then promptly apologizes to Queen Talisa who's in the tent with them for his foul language.
  • After Robb and Talisa have sex, Robb tries to plan a war strategy, then asks her to put some clothes on or else he will "attack" her again. She stays as she is and says playfully, "Attack. Attack."
    • Robb's Delayed Reaction to Talisa announcing her pregnancy. You can see him going, "That's nice, honey, now about the wa—wait, WHAT?"
  • Ygritte mistaking a windmill for a castle, then revealing she has no idea what it means to "swoon". When Jon explains:
    Ygritte: [dramatically] Oh, a spider! Save me Jon Snow! [collapses into his arms] My dress is made of the purest silk from Tralalalala-li-day.
  • After Joffrey complains that Tywin has moved the Small Council Meetings nearer to him so he cannot attend (even though he never bothered before) and making veiled threats about making a King climb a tower to attend a meeting, Tywin totally deflating his ego in seconds, but politely suggesting that if it's that much of a problem, they'll have him carried there! Embarrassed, Joffrey immediately tries switching the subject to Dany and her Dragons, which Tywin mocks him for being worried about... again.
    • Then on his way out, Tywin feels the need to add a last-second pleasantry, so he turns back and utters a condescending "Your grace" which sounds like "here endeth the lesson, puppet king."
    • This scene would be funny if not for the fact that Tywin keeps dismissing his grandson's orders to look into the whole "Daenerys Targaryen having dragons" thing. For once, viewers are on the side of the boy king.
      • It becomes funny again after watching Season 4, where it's made clear that Tywin is taking Daenerys and her dragons and army seriously as a potential threat. He just doesn't trust Joffrey one bit to be able to help.
  • Tormund Giantsbane giving Jon sex advice while they're on a guerrilla mission, that he should wait until a girl's "as slick as a baby seal" before he fucks her.
  • Bronn's "helpful" advice for Tyrion is to just accept having both Sansa and Shae.
    • After Bronn suggests that Tyrion secretly does want to "Fuck that Stark girl", we see Tyrion's eyes briefly glaze over for a second as he ponders this, before quickly jumping back to his senses, a little disconcerted at the thought.
    Tyrion: I don't pay you to put evil notions in my head.
    Bronn: No, you pay me to protect you. The evil notions are free.
  • Jaime, being Jaime, just couldn't resist that last snark at Locke after he snatched Brienne away from under his nose.
    Jaime: Sorry about the sapphires.
    • What makes it better is that Jaime noticeably hesitates before he makes that snark almost like he tried to resist making one last smartass remark and just couldn't. Maybe it's a Lannister genetic impulse...
  • Locke gets two rather hilarious lines in "The Bear and the Maiden Fair".
    Locke:(to Jaime whose attempting to bribe him into releasing Brienne) So go buy ya'self a golden hand and fuck yourself with it!
    • As Jaime rushes to the edge of the pit, Locke chimes in with a disappointed shout of: "Well, this is one shameful fuckin' performance. Stop runnin' and fight!" in an utterly side-splitting tone as he already grows bored with the entertainment.
    • And this one when Steelshanks wounds the lumbering beast with a crossbow bolt to help Jaime escape.
      Locke: (Rounds on Walton as he loads another quarrel) DA FACK YOU DOIN' TO MAH BEAR!?!
    • And then this gem.
      Jaime: You gave her a wooden sword?!
      Locke: We've only got one bear.
    • The similarity to the bear fight in Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy has quickly become memetic.
  • Despite once again veering sharply into utterly horrifying Nightmare Fuel, the scene where "The Boy" once again trolls the almighty fuck out of Theon by first having two beautiful women seduce him in a scene reminiscent of a stereotypical porno, and then interrupting him mid-orgy with a blast of his Troll-horn before apologizing profusely for the "bad timing" is almost farcical... until the aforementioned nightmare fuel happens with him using this as an excuse to Castrate Theon.

8 — Second Sons
  • Olenna trying to figure out the new ways Loras, Margaery, Tyrion, Cersei, and Sansa will be related to each other thanks to the three weddings Tywin has planned.
    Olenna: So their son will be your nephew. After you're wed to Cersei, of course. And you will be the king's stepfather and brother-in-law. When you marry the king, Joffrey's mother will become his sister-in-law and your son will be Loras' nephew? Grandson? I'm not sure. But your brother will become your father-in-law.
    • Loras' expression is equally hilarious since he clearly wants her to just shut up, but doesn't have the guts to tell her to.
  • Loras instantly getting shot down when trying to make small talk with his bride-to-be.
    Cersei: No one cares what your father once told you.
    • Loras being teased by Olenna (see above example) and Cersei giving him the cold shoulder is made even funnier when we remember both women have every reason to be mad at him. If he could have just kept his mouth shut, none of them would have got caught in Tywin's trap.
    • It's Cersei's fault as well, so the idea of her and Loras making each other miserable is quite a bit funnier than it probably should be.
  • Mero's douchebaggery knows no bounds when he is invited to parley with Daenerys. Dany's deadpan reactions and blunt rejoinders to the flurry of vicious innuendos that the Titan's Bastard hurls at her are so stoic that she evokes laughs of admiration. No other ruler has her unflappable reserve.
    Mero: In the Second Sons we share everything. After the battle maybe we'll share you.
    Dany: (amused smile, checks out the Lieutenant, Daario)
    • Plus Dany's loyal Bear delivering a fabulous Take That to the SOB.
      Mero: The Second Sons have faced worse odds and won.
      Jorah Mormont: The Second Sons have faced worse odds and run.
  • Crossed with a crowning moment of awesome and a tearjerker, Tyrion gets extremely drunk and bitter after his wedding, and when Joffrey threatens to rape Sansa as part of the wedding ceremony...this happens:
    Tyrion:There will be no bedding ceremony.
    Joffrey:There WILL be if I command it!
    Tyrion: (slamming his knife into the table and deadly serious) Then you'll be fucking your own bride with a wooden cock. (cue mass stunned silence)
    Joffrey: ... What did you say? (utterly enraged) What...Did you...SAY!!!!???
  • Missandei correcting Daenerys' Dothraki, making it clear that Khal Drogo's praise of her ability to speak it was at least partly him flattering his new wife, which is actually quite cute.
    • Made funnier by the Call Back; they use the same "Ath Jahackar" phrase Dany was taught by her handmaidens, and in the first season they told her she'd gotten it right, even though her intonation was audibly different from theirs. Presumably, they were just fed up of trying to teach her, since Missandei keeps repeating it until her intonation is correct.
  • Davos having problems with his tangled first book :
    V-v-visenya Targaryen rod— rode Vhagar— Vhag—... (looks at the ceiling, frustrated) Fuck me.
    • Possibly some Self-Deprecation at the difficulty in pronouncing some of Martin's names. Made funnier when he actually manages to read the damn thing and shows a very brief glimpse of satisfaction. He's so incredibly proud of himself, as if he almost won the entire damn war by finishing that phrase.
  • Sam's failure over the course of several episodes to light a fire, and his exasperated "how hard can this be?" reaction to it.
  • Daario's answer when Daenerys asks him if she's supposed to be in awe of his killing abilities when he rolls out the severed heads of the other leaders of the Second Sons.
    Dany: And this is supposed to impress me?
    Daario: Yes.
  • Tyrion's relentless trolling of his father when the latter confronts him about being too drunk during his wedding feast.
    Tyrion: I am the god of tits and wine! I shall build a shrine to myself at the next brothel I visit.
  • When Tywin is asked if he remembers calling Tyrion "a drunken little lust-filled beast" (a suddenly advantageous trait in a wedding day), Tywin simply growls "more than once."
  • In order to defuse the tension after he threatened to castrate Joffrey in a moment of anger, Tyrion pretends to be even more drunk than he actually is, falling over and admitting to having thrown up on a woman during the act. Leading to this gem as he quickly escorts Sansa out of the room;
    Tyrion: Come, I'll tell you all about it, to put you in the mood!
  • Shae tormenting a very hungover Tyrion by slamming doors and making a huge racket with a serving tray. Plus, her yanking his pillow away from under him so his (presumably pounding) head thumps unceremoniously onto the divan he collapsed on during the night.
    • Look again, Tyrion's impromptu cushion is actually Sansa's new nightgown balled up! Shae promptly relieves Tyrion of it for the early bird.
    • And after Shae exchanges a look with Tyrion when she realises that he didn't consummate the marriage with Sansa, the look Tyrion gives her is essentially boiled down to "Yes, I can be a decent guy sometimes. Don't make a big deal out of it. And return my unconventional head support!"
  • Though it quickly suffers from Mood Whiplash, Sam explains the difference between a Family Name (Tarley) and Birth Name (Samwell), mentioning that his father's name was Randyll. Gilly comments that Randyll's a handsome name, resulting in a beat, and Sam saying "Please don't name him Randyll."

9 — The Rains of Castamere
  • The Hound's face after Arya knocks out the pig trader with a chunk of wood. This was right after he accused her of being 'too kind.'
  • Walder Frey's "You could have been tapping that" look at Robb after the beautiful Roslin is revealed, followed by the Blackfish looking hopefully towards the other Frey women... only to immediately turn away upon realizing that Roslin is the only pretty one of the bunch.
    • And with that smirk he flashed at Robb, one might wonder if he had intentionally saved the best girl for last to surprise Robb and Edmure, considering he only brought out unattractive daughters and granddaughters earlier.
  • Walder struggling to remember one of his granddaughter's names.
    Walder: ...My granddaughter Wertha. Walda. Waldina?
    Girl: I'm Mary.
    Walder: Fine.
  • Edmure's increasingly miserable expression upon seeing the various daughters and grandaughters introduced. You can practically hear him wondering which of them he'll be forced to marry.
    • Later when he finally sees his bride's face, the look of surprise and delight that she's beautiful! Quite a change of behavior for a groom who "complained the entire ride from Riverrun".
    • Edmure wasn't the only husband to be surprised. Later within earshot of his wife Robb (teasingly) pondered "Perhaps I've made a terrible mistake".
    • Finally, Edmure's "I'm getting laid!" facial expressions during the bedding ceremony.
      Careful now, ladies! Once you set that monster free, there's no caging him again!
  • In fact, most of Walder's comments during that little meeting:
    (About the twin grandaughters) You could have had either. You could have had both for all I care.
    (About his youngest grandaughter) She hasn't bled yet... clearly you don't have the patience for all that.
    (About Talisa) Prettier than this lot, that's for sure.
    Your king says he betrayed me for love. I say he betrayed me for firm tits and a tight fit! (Robb tries to move forward, Catelyn holds him back) And I can respect that!
  • During Robb's apology to the Freys, he assures said daughters and grandaughters that "any man would be lucky to have any of you"... and in the background the Blackfish can be seen giving Edmure a dubious look.
  • The look Jorah and Grey Worm exchange in response to Daario Naharis bragging about his whistling proficiency. It all but outright shouts "What in seven hells have we done to get stuck with this guy."
    • Keep in mind, we don't actually know that Grey Worm speaks Westerosi, so it's possible his look of confusion and irritation was directed at both of them, because they're stopping to have a dick-measuring contest when they're supposed to be waging war.
    • Jorah (caked in blood) hoping to gain the admiration of Daenerys with the good news that Yunkai has been successfully taken. The bashful grin on his face when she favours him with a small smile slides straight off his beard when she asks worriedly after Daario; a younger — arguably handsomer, and certainly more deadly man.
      • Hilarious in Hindsight because poor Mormont puts everything he has into that battle in order to impress his queen, competing with Daario for better kills while his young rival made it seem so — effortless.
      • This got to the point that people meshed an old clip from The Simpsons when Bart slo-mos Lisa's rejection of Ralph, saying "You can actually pinpoint the second when his heart rips in half" to this scene.
  • Rickon's comment about how, according to Old Nan's stories, the Wildlings make people drink blood from their own skulls. He says this while Osha's standing right next to him. Osha's expression is priceless.
    • Later, when they are heading to the tower to wait out a storm, Osha suggests that they might drink some blood, while they are in there, pats horrified Rickon and cheerfully assures him that she only needs a little.
  • Arya berating the Hound for only having the guts to kill helpless little boys and weak old men and how she knows a real killer who could kick Clegane's ass seven ways from Sunday. Sandor's brilliant comeback is to point at the star-seeing farmer he's recently clobbered and ask:
    Sandor: That him?
    Arya: (Glances back) ... No.
    Sandor: Good. (Moves to kill him)
  • Bran's attempts to keep Hodor quiet before he accidentally wargs into him instead:
    "Hush, Hodor! N-no more Hodoring!"

10 — Mhysa
  • Tyrion's opening salvo at a (madly grinning) Joffrey during the Small Council meeting.
    • Disturbingly accurate in hindsight.
  • How Tyrion feels about Walder Frey's coded message about the Red Wedding:
    "Is this bad poetry, or does it actually mean something?"
  • The (admittedly very dark) humour of the following exchange; the fact that Joffrey is such a twisted little bastard that even Cersei is trying to reign him in is pretty hilarious. Also, Joffrey's "mwa-ha-ha" grin as he delivers the lines.
    Joffrey: ... Command Lord Frey to send Robb Stark's head. I'm going to serve it to Sansa at my wedding feast!
    Varys: (in a desperate attempt to bring this whole discussion out of Psycho-land and back to the real world) Your Grace, Lady Sansa is your aunt by marriage.
    Cersei: A joke. Joffrey didn't mean it.
    Joffrey: (slightly confused) Yes I did. I'm going to have it served to Sansa at my wedding feast!
  • After Joffrey's line "Everyone is mine to torment!", Cersei rolls her eyes and Tywin glances sideways, sharing the silent sentiment of being fed up with his petty cruelty. And when Tyrion starts to retort, Varys smirks to himself. No one other than Tyrion snaps back at Joffrey, but their reactions speak louder than words.
  • When Joffrey attempts to call Tywin out for "hiding under Casterly Rock" during Robert's Rebellion, everyone in the room (Cersei included) immediately gives the same "Oh no you didn't" look towards Joffrey. Made even more hilarious by the background music swelling as if to let everyone know that Joffrey pushed Tywin's Berserk Button. And instead of losing his temper, Tywin calmly tells Joffrey to go to bed. Followed by Cersei holding Joffrey's hand and bringing him upstairs to more or less tuck him in, all the while talking to him like he's a six year old.
  • After Tywin sends Joffrey to bed and asks Grand Maester Pycelle to give him essence of nightshade, only Tywin, Tyrion, and Varys remains. Varys, without being asked or bidden, immediately stands up to leave as if to say "Screw This, I'm Outta Here!".
  • Joffrey's final screeching outburst as he tries to assert his authority in the most pathetic way possible after being sent scuttling to his room by Tywin.
  • A Call Back to Season 1: after Joffrey challenges Tywin at the Small Council meeting, everyone turns to leave. The last one to do so is Tyrion, and he is once again stopped by Tywin's "Not you". It's the "you know the drill" tone of Tywin's words that makes it hilarious.
  • Tyrion describing how Tywin acts to Joffery in the meeting.
    Tyrion: You just sent the most powerful man in the kingdom to bed without his supper.
  • Tyrion's face after Tywin mocks his sympathy to the slaughtered Starks.
    Tywin: You want to write a song for the dead Starks? Go ahead, write one.
    Tyrion: (Looks to seriously be considering it)
  • Nearly the entire discussion between Walder Frey and Roose Bolton, in the aftermath of The Red Wedding.:
    Walder Frey: The late Walder Frey, Old Tully called me — because I didn't get my men to the Trident in time for battle. He thought he was witty... Look at us now, Tully! You're dead! You're daughter's dead! Your grandson's dead! Your son spends his wedding night in a dungeon... And — I'm Lord of Riverrun.
  • This exchange:
    Walder Frey: Must have been torture, following that stupid boy all over the country.
    Roose Bolton: He ignored my advice at every turn. If he'd been a trifle less arrogant...
  • Frey and Bolton's (almost horribly fond) recollections of Robb Stark.
    Walder Frey: Well, here's to the Young Wolf! *Arooouuuuu!*
    Roose Bolton: Forever young.
    The pair of them: (Laughing at their own cleverness)
  • In an extremely dark funny scene, Ramsay eats a sausage in front of Theon, who he has castrated not long before, as he continues to talk about the deed. When he figures out what's being assumed of his meal his reaction can be summed up as "Oh come on, I'm not that evil!" (Granted, he absolutely is that evil, but he isn't actually a cannibal... as far as we know.)
    Ramsay: What? ... No...! Pork sausage! Do you think I'm some sort of savage?
  • Ramsay trolling Balon Greyjoy by sending him Theon's "Dick in a Box". That scene is about as dark and horrible as it gets but still remains funny due to Ramsay's wording in his letter:
    "In the box you'll find a special gift — Theon's favorite toy. He cried when I took it away from him."
  • This zinger.
    Ramsay: Sorry, I shouldn't make jokes. My mother taught me not to throw stones at cripples... But my father taught me — aim for their head!
  • Sam realizing he just said "I know how this must look" to a blind man.
  • Sam's barely restrained skepticism upon hearing that Bran's group is going up against the White Walkers.
    Jojen: The Night's Watch can't stop them. All the kings of Westeros and their armies can't stop them.
    Sam: (surveys the group of Bran, Meera, Jojen, Hodor, and Summer) But you're going to stop them?
  • Hodor shouting "Hodor!" into a well to hear the echo.
  • Hodor's joyful reaction to Sam recognizing him from Jon's stories. He sounds as if he wanted to say "Oh you...".
  • Seeing the group preparing to be attacked by something horrifying... only to crash into one of the most generally nonthreatening pairs in the show. And while they all are trying frantically to cover up who they are, for fear that this strange dude might sell them out, Sam's reaction can be summed up as "Hey, aren't you Jon Snow's little brother? Fancy meeting you out here!"
  • When Sam looks at Summer and says "I've been around Ghost enough to know a direwolf when I see one", you can see Summer visibly (and hilariously) hang his head.
  • When Podrick meets up with Tyrion and Sansa, some girls can be seen giggling and gossiping about him. Tri-Pod strikes again!
  • Gilly calling Maester Aemon "Master" despite Sam trying to correct her.
  • Sansa and Tyrion conspiring to put dung in the beds of some nobles who were mocking them. Followed by Sansa once again displaying her naivety by revealing she believes that "Shift" is the rude way of saying dung.
    • "Anyone named Desmond Crakehall has to be a pervert."
  • As they walk through the garden, they notice two men laughing at them. Sansa notices Tyrion muttering their names to himself, and asks if he plans to have them killed. Tyrion's response? "Do I look like Joffrey?"
  • The Onion Knight has learned to read, but still has a little trouble. His suspicious tone and expression are perfect, as if he suspects that someone is playing a trick on him.
    Davos: Why is there a 'g' in "night"?
    Shireen: There just is.
  • Gendry and Davos briefly discuss Melisandre's "female attributes". And both of them try not to giggle like little boys over the comment on how Melisandre "knows her way around a man's head."
  • There's something darkly funny about the Frey soldier who put Grey Wind's head on Robb's body bitching about how hard it was to pull off, discussing how he did it as if desecrating the body of someone whose right to Sacred Hospitality your lord just violated in the worst way possible was the most normal thing in the world.
  • Arya killing a grown man for the first time and looking at the coin that Jaqen gave her is a pretty chilling scene, but at the very end it turns funny when you see that The Hound is sitting down at the campfire of the dead soldiers in the background and eating their food. Between this and the salted pork scene, the Hound is slowly turning into a Big Eater. While the Hound clearly is disturbed over Arya stealing his knife, without even himself noticing, and using it to kill some soldiers, all he does is give a bemused "Next time you do something like that, give me some warning first."
  • Davos' advice to Gendry on handling a boat:
    Davos: Do you know how to swim?
    Gendry: No.
    Davos: Don't fall out.
  • Davos' blunt rebuttal over Gendry's concerns over being considered a fugitive in Westeros.
    Davos: Do the Gold Cloaks know your face?
    Gendry: No.
    Davos: Then I'd be more worried about the Red Woman.
  • Davos lampshading that the Goldcloaks are ridiculously incompetent, since they've been after him for most of his life.
  • An unflappable Davos counseling against his own death sentence:
    I understand, but since you have not un-named me Hand of the King, it is my duty to advise you against it.
  • The irony of Melisandre/R'hllor saving Davos' life makes Stannis laugh. If you look closely when Stannis starts laughing, you see Melisandre shortly tilting her head in his direction. This is probably the closest thing to a "Wait, what?" we have seen from her so far.
  • Tyrion instructing Pod in the art of getting sloshed. "It's not easy being drunk all the time. Everyone would do it if it were easy."

    Season 4 
  • The HBO descriptions continue getting creative in their attempts to avoid spoilers, with "Arya runs into an old friend" and "Tyrion lends Jaime a hand."
    • The simple description of "Dany gets pointed to Mereen" is arguably the most gloriously dark and twisted joke on the part of HBO, given what book readers know will be pointing her there...

1 — Two Swords
  • Hey, remember back in Season Three when Locke told Jaime to "buy himself a golden hand" to replace the one he lost? Well guess what Qyburn attaches to Jaime's hand in the first episode.
    • When Jaime is trying out his new golden hand. If you didn't know he was trying it out for the first time, you would swear he was doing 'the robot'.
    • Plus pointedly waving goodbye to Qyburn with it.
    Qyburn: A work of art, really. The craftsmanship is exquisite.
    Jaime: You like it so much, you're welcome to chop off your own hand and take it.
    Cersei: You're such an ingrate. I spent days with the goldsmith getting the details just right.
    Jaime: (Incredulous) Days?
    Cersei: ...Better part of an afternoon.
  • Tyrion realizing that he's been literally anxiously waiting for hours at the outskirts of King's Landing in hope of defusing a volatile situation; cordially welcoming an enemy of his family... Who in truth arrived early that morning. Worse, Tyrion learns it's not Prince Dorannote  who came to the capital but his Hot-Blooded Blood Knight brother, Oberyn. His fake smile drops instantly:
    Tyrion: We must find Prince Oberyn before he kills somebody. Or several somebodies...
    Bronn: How do you plan on finding a single Dornishman in a city this big?
    Tyrion: You're famous for fucking half of Westeros, you just arrived at the capital after two weeks of bad road, where would you go?
    Bronn: I'd probably go to sleep. But I'm getting old.
  • During the Red Viper's Establishing Character Moment...
    Oberyn: The two girls can leave.
    Olyvar:: (snaps his fingers to dismiss the women)
    Oberyn: You stay.
    Olyvar: I'm afraid I'm not on offer, my Lord.
    Oberyn: Everyone who works for Littlefinger is on offer. (gazes directly at Olyvar)
    Olyvar: (looks down at the floor)
  • Rather dark humor, but Tyrion and Bronn managing to walk in on Oberyn right when he's ripping a dagger out of a Lannister minion's wrist, complete with blood spurt and agonized scream.
    Tyrion: Prince Oberyn, forgive the intrusion, we heard there might be (Oberyn pulls the dagger out of the man's wrist) ...trouble.
  • Bronn's cheerful response to Oberyn's little dig about his being a hired killer:
    Bronn: Started that way, aye, now I'm a knight.
    Oberyn: How did that come to pass?
    Bronn: Killed the right people, I suppose.
  • Oberyn suggests that they bring in more prostitutes to accommodate Tyrion and Bronn (and apparently inviting them to have an orgy with them). Bronn just nods in agreement, while Tyrion shakes his head.
    Oberyn: You don't partake?
    Tyrion: Oh, I partook. Now I'm married.
    • The best part is that Oberyn has a puzzled frown, as if to say, "Huh? What does marriage have to do with it?"
  • A grand piece of Mood Whiplash as Tyrion tries to comfort Sansa in the wake of the Red Wedding, talking about how much he respected her mother... despite that whole falsely arresting him and trying to have him thrown off a mountain thing.
  • In a blink-and-you-miss-it bit, Janos Slynt scoffs at Jon talking about giants, but is shut up by one look at Alliser's face.
  • Olenna's dismissal of all the potential bridal jewelry she and Margaery are presented with, including throwing one off the balcony.
    • It gets better, her line before tossing it away? "Your grandfather gave me a necklace for my 51st nameday, just like this one." And the necklace goes over the railing.
    • How she ensures that Margaery will get the absolute best necklace available in King's Landing, as well as proving herself to be a tough, but awesome boss: she sends out their troop of handmaidens with instructions to milk the Tyrell name for all it's worth, with the promise that whoever brought back the best necklace would get to keep the second-best.
  • Jon Snow putting Janos Slynt in his place.
    Janos Slynt: I commanded the City Watch of King's Landing, boy.
    Jon Snow: And now you're here. You must not have been very good at your job.
    • This hilarious reminder from the Maester of Castle Black.
      Aemon: If we beheaded every ranger who lay with a girl, the Wall would be manned by headless men.
    • Later, Alliser Thorne asks Aemon how he "acquired [this] magic power" to tell when someone is lying.
      Aemon: I grew up in King's Landing.
  • The statue of Joffrey standing triumphant over a slain direwolf, especially the obnoxious way the shot lingers.
    • Could also count as a Tearjerker or Crowning Moment Of Hatemongering. Especially because he's holding the damn crossbow...
    • "Yes yes, one guard at the...thing."
    • The cut from the statue to him standing almost the exact same way minus the crossbow.
  • Barristan Selmy and Missandei exchanging smirks when Daenerys asks for Daario Naharis...again.
  • Jaime sarcastically asking Brienne if she's a Lannister (because she was annoying him after he was also annoyed by Tywin and Cersei). Given the Ust between Brienne and Jaime, this seems to be an Ascended Meme of a joke to the effect that Jaime's version of a pick-up line is to tell a woman that she reminds him of his sister.
  • Daario and Grey Worm's competition to see who could hold their sword out the longest and have been doing it the entire night, all for the honor of riding at Daenerys' side. Then Daenerys, who is not amused, tells them that they'll be riding at the back of the convoy for making her wait. She also jokingly adds that the last man to be holding his sword would have to serve a new queen, prompting both men to immediately drop their swords at the same time so as to not forfeit. Ser Worm wins though, as he doesn't elicit a groan of pain from the night's Repetitive strain injury like Daario does!
    • The very fact that a stoic, utterly badass killing machine like Grey Worm happily engages in such immature and pointless yet humanising antics when off the job is both hilarious and heartwarming especially given how his backstory was basically him getting the Ramsay Snow treatment (and all the unspeakable horrors this implies) as a child.
    • When Daenerys walks away, Missandei raises her eyebrows at Grey Worm in a silently snarky "I told you so" way.
  • It's a nasty Kick the Dog moment that pushes a range of buttons, but Joffrey taunting Jaime about his poor record as a knight is funny thanks to Jack Gleeson perfectly nailing the mock look of concern when he says:
    "Someone forgot to put down all your great deeds!"
  • Daario needs to talk to Daenerys about something important...
    Dany: Alright, what is this matter of strategy?
    Daario: (flourishes flower) A Dusk Rose.
    Dany ... Would you like to walk at the back of the train instead of riding?
    Daario: And this one's called Lady's Lace.
    Dany: Would you like to walk without shoes?
  • The Hound's laconic disdain for Named Weapons and those who name them.
    Sandor: Of course you named your sword.
    Arya: Lots of people name their swords.
    Sandor: Lots of cunts.
    Arya: ...
    • Fridge Brilliance makes this even funnier; the Hound would know all about this, given where he's spent the last several years of his life.
  • The Hound's conversation with Polliver at the inn is like something out a medieval Pulp Fiction, complete with the Hound drinking Polliver's ale.
    Sandor: ... You're a talker. Listening to talkers, makes me thirsty. (Drains Polliver's tankard in one long draught.) And hungry. Think I'll take two chickens.
    Polliver: (Checks his friends have his back.) You don't seem to understand the situation.
    Sandor: I understand that if any more words come pouring out of your cunt mouth, I'm going to have to eat every fucking chicken in this room.
    • And he does get that chicken after the fight.
    • And Arya gets her pony.
  • The Hound and Arya bickering before their arrival at the inn, is just golden.
    Arya: (about Polliver) He captured us at Harrenhal. He killed Lommy.
    Sandor: (completely deadpan) What the fuck's a Lommy?
    • Moments later:
      Arya: He killed my friend.
      Sandor: I don't care if he ate your friend, we're not going in there.
    • Sandor has a rather odd version of Even Evil Has Standards:
      Arya: So you murder little boys, but stealing is beneath you?
      Sandor: A man's got to have a code.
    • This becomes even more darkly hilarious given the outcome of their next adventure in the third episode...
  • As usual, Tywin has the need to criticize anything and everything and contemptuously defines Ned Stark's sword as absurdly large.

2 — The Lion and the Rose
  • Tyrion's summation of his family.
    Tyrion: A toast, to the proud Lannister children! The Dwarf, the Cripple, and the Mother of Madness.
  • After Joffrey gets up from his seat to inspect his new Valyrian sword, Mace Tyrell raises his eyebrow at Tywin, and the expression on his face reads like a mixture of "Are you sure it's wise to give that maniac a deadly weapon?" and "Damn, my gift looks super-lame now!"
  • Joffrey tears apart Tyrion's wedding gift (a book) with his new Valyrian steel sword and surprises everybody, including the 67 year old Tywin. Joffrey then asks the guests a name for the cool weapon. The names proposed are pretty cool: Stormbringer, Wolfsbane, Terminus, and finally (possibly joking) Widow's Wail. Guess which one Joffrey pick...
    • Also funnier if you remember Arya and the Hound's discussion about Named Weapons from the previous episode.
    • And also an amusing bit of Foreshadowing for Joffrey himself later in that same episode, although slightly subverted in that upon becoming Joffrey's widow, Margaery pointedly doesn't wail...
  • A subtle Brick Joke set up one episode before: Olenna set up a minor competition among the Tyrell handmaidens about who would bring her granddaughter the best necklace for her wedding. The winning one is so unadorned it's barely noticable.
  • Olenna and Tywin walking hand in hand to the reception, with Olenna attempting to get the normally grumpy and stoic Tywin to lighten up for the occasion.
    • And when Mace tries to butt into the conversation, Olenna's response is basically "Quiet sweetie, the grown-ups are talking."
    Olenna: Not now, Mace. Lord Tywin and I are talking.
  • Olenna's comment to Sansa, simply for its Refuge in Audacity considering what happens next:
    Olenna: War is war, but killing a man at a wedding... horrid. What sort of a monster would do such a thing? As if men need more reasons to fear marriage!
  • Olenna's teasing of Tyrion, which is a reference to his request for her financial assistance in paying for the royal wedding last season.
    Olenna: Perhaps if your pauper husband were to sell his mule and his last pair of shoes, he may afford to bring you to Highgarden for a visit.
  • Olenna's last line in that conversation is the cherry on top:
    Olenna: Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time I... et... some of this food I paid for.
  • When Jaime threatens Loras by telling him that Cersei would murder him if they married, but Loras would never get to marry Cersei anyway, Loras smugly replies with one of the snappiest comebacks on the series:
    • Patting Jaime's arm and leaving like a boss afterwards make Loras' Stealth Insult that much more hilarious!
    • Jaime's own bewildered reaction is also funny, as he has become the Butt Monkey of King's Landing since his return. He tries to regain some of his old swagger by insulting and snarking at Loras, only for it to backfire spectacularly. He clearly thought Loras would be easy pickings, and is astonished that the young knight has taken a level in Deadpan Snarker. Yup, Jaime's still not back to being top dog.
    • Earlier in their exchange, Jaime cracks an amusing joke at the expense of their dads.
      Jaime: Our fathers are both very keen on the prospect.
      Loras: They certainly are.
      Jaime: Perhaps they should get married.
  • Tyrion figures Oberyn is saying hello to him. Turns out it's to the contortionist.
  • While Oberyn talks with Cersei, he takes every opportunity to remind her that she's the former queen regent.
    • Oberyn then subtly points out that Cersei is a hypocrite for judging Ellaria due to her bastard status because Cersei herself has mothered three of them.
      Oberyn: Bastards are born of passion, aren't they?
    • There is also this little gem:
      Oberyn: I expect it is a relief, Lady Cersei, giving up your responsibilities. Wearing a crown for so many years must have left your neck a bit crooked.
  • In a blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment, when the guests at the Sept of Baelor are clapping for Joffrey and Margaery, Oberyn turns his head slightly to the left so that he can catch a glimpse of Loras. Oberyn swings both ways, and Margaery is a gorgeous woman, yet he clearly thinks that her brother is more attractive. This is a Mythology Gag, as some of the characters in the novels consider the Adonis-like Loras to be prettier than his classically beautiful sister.
  • Oberyn and Loras eye-sexing each other at the wedding feast; their Erotic Eating leaves zero doubt over the two men's desire to "eat" the other for dessert. Loras, who is normally reserved, isn't even trying to hide it anymore, is he?
  • The pink rose patterns on Loras' sleeves and Oberyn's wrap around belt are identical. The only difference is the fabric's background colour (teal vs. green — it's odd that the Dornish Prince is dressed in one of the House Tyrell colours that is missing from Loras' outfit). They say that imitation is the highest form of flattery; did Oberyn talk to Loras' tailor and decide to copy a part of the Knight of Flowers' style?
  • While the "Dwarf War of Five Kings" is a cruel joke from Joffrey, there are some Actually Pretty Funny bits:
    • "Stannis'" mount is actually a dummy Melisandre (with large cleavage to boot) bending over on his crotch.
    • "Renly's" mount is Loras, and Renly has an exposed backside which gets rammed.
    • "Joffrey's" mount is a lion with stag antlers on its head.
    • "Balon Greyjoy" has a kraken mount.
    • After "Robb" smacks down "Balon", the latter yells, "I'm drowning, I'm drowning!"
    • After "Joffrey" shoots "Stannis" with a fake arrow, a "spray" of green wildlife emerges from "Melisandre." "Stannis" then cries like a baby as he leaves the stage (which is something the real Stannis would never do).
    • After getting accidentally hit on the head by one of the riders, the normally unflappable Lord Varys closes his eyes in complete exasperation for a moment, his expression practically screaming "Oh, for fuck's sake... why didn't I help Ned Stark escape when I had the chance?"
    • Though not as funny, Tywin's facial reactions are also something to watch. He seems amused but trying to hide it to keep up appearances, and at other points looks confused and not sure what to make of what he's seeing.
  • Bronn reassuring Jaime that no one will hear them practicing by telling him that he comes down there to sleep with another knight's wife — and she's a screamer.
    Bronn: If they don't hear her, then they won't hear us.
    • A subtle one from the same scene: Bronn says to Jaime, "[Tyrion] tells me you shit gold, just like your father." Almost on cue, Jaime removes a coin pouch from inside the back of his pants to toss to Bronn. He is literally pulling gold out of his ass.
  • And also his blunt and simple response when Jaime complains about him attacking a man when his guard is down.
  • The eternally glum expression on Varys' face throughout the reception. He is definitely NOT enjoying the festivities.
  • Melisandre's completely awkward expressions as Selyse tries to include her in the already completely stilted dinner conversations.
    • The whole dinner scene is hilarious in its awkwardness. Stannis barely speaks to Selyse and only to remark that the meat is stale. The mood seems to improve once Selyse tells Melisandre about how Stannis kept her fed during the siege of Storm's End... until she suggests to punish Shireen for being "heretical" and affected by greyscale. Stannis's Death Glare, as usual, is priceless.
  • Joffrey declaring he wants to knight the person who killed Renly. Would that be before or after you gave him that red smile?
  • Tyrion's retort after his nephew tells him to join the dwarf battle is so good that some guests try hard not to laugh.
    Tyrion: Climb down from the high table with your new Valyrian sword and show everyone how a true king wins his throne. Be careful, though. This one is clearly mad with lust. It would be a tragedy for the king to lose his virtue hours before his wedding night.
  • Jojen and Meera are helpless to wake Bran up after hours of Warging. So what does do the trick? "HODOR!"
  • Joffrey's death is this as evident by quite a many reaction videos on Youtube. All other feelings aside, the scene was insanely satisfying.
  • On a meta level: remember the musicians that Joffrey heckled for their performance of The Rains of Castamere (a funny moment in its own right)? They were played by an Icelandic post-rock trio... who can be said to have snuck back into the Purple Wedding right after Joffrey's death to reprise it for the end credits! Sigur Rˇs sends their regards.
  • Just before Ramsay sets his dogs on Tansy, there's a bit where he explains that she has to die because she made his girlfriend jealous. Said girlfriend angrily asks "Me, jealous, of her?" Ramsay's facial expression manages to beautifully convey 'Oh shit, I fucked up'.

3 — Breaker of Chains
  • Tyrion dismissing Cersei from his list of suspects.
    Tyrion: She is the only one I'm certain had nothing to do with this murder. Which makes it unique as King's Landing murders go.
  • Tyrion taking some intellectual indignation to being held as suspect of a very half-assed assassination.
    Tyrion: I would like to think if I were arranging a royal assassination, I'd plan it in such a way that I wouldn't be standing there gawking like a fool when the king died.
  • Arya trying to hide her and Sandor's identity from a pious farmer. The Hound does not cooperate.
    • Also the Hound once again showing his obsession with meat by physically perking up when the farmer mentions his daughter's rabbit stew during their first meeting.
    • And as they're waiting to eat said stew, the mock-indignant way Arya remonstrates her 'father' for getting impatient during the dinner prayer. Meanwhile both of them are hungrily eying the stew, then scoff it down while their hosts look on in bemusement.
    • The Hound interrupting the very long and thorough prayer with a contribution of his own: "May the stranger not kill us in our beds tonight for no damned reason at all."
  • Tywin's Comically Serious no-nonsense nature creates some unexpected moments of humour. The scene in the Sept of Baelor after his incredible speech to Tommen, ends with a sudden segue towards Tommen's knowledge of "The Talk". Especially the way he tells Tommen, "It's actually quite straightforward". Moments like that, you get a sense that Tywin really is Tyrion's Dad.
    • Telling Tommen what wisdom is and then saying "Your brother was not a wise king, your brother was not a good king. If he had been, he might still be alive." Normally this would be a Kick the Dog moment, but 1) Everybody agrees with Tywin that Joffrey was a horrible ruler, and 2) His delivery of the line is laced with such great snark it becomes awfully entertaining. Plus it seems to be a not-so-subtle way of telling Cersei, "Gods, you suck at parenting."
    • That cold look of disgust that he gives Jaime as he passes him and Tommen is also funny. His body language is essentially, "This kid is the last best hope this family has for sanity."
    • His slowly eroding dignity when he goes to a whorehouse to see Oberyn, and orders everyone else out. Oberyn doesn't help matters when he asks Tywin to take a seat on the very same bed that he and Ellaria had just had a bisexual orgy in. Tywin's reaction to this is a simple deadpan, "No, thank you."
  • The suicidal overconfidence of Meereen just continues getting worse; as they send a champion out to insult Dany, who has already since been driven to homicidal Tranquil Fury by their mass child slaughter of two episodes prior. He starts by taking out his penis from a few hundred feet away (much to Dany's mild horror), pissing in her general direction before then launching into a tirade, which poor Missandei once again has to go translate for her bemused queen.
    "He says that we are an army of men parts. He claims that you are no woman at all but a man who... (gulps) hides his cock in his own arsehole."
    • Dany's reaction is just to roll her eyes and quietly discuss who gets to kill him with her inner circle, while the idiot's loud speech continues ignored.
      • Considering that Dany lived among Dothraki and had a Horselord as her husband, her reaction could also be seen as her dismissing the champion as small time both in terms of insult and his "size".
    • It gets better. According to linguist David Peterson, what the champion is actually saying is "a Low Valyrian translation of the French guy's insults in Monty Python and the Holy Grail."
  • The scene between Davos and Shireen is packed with this:
    • Shireen being the schoolmarm to poor tardy Davos. "You are your father's daughter, make no mistake. Bloody relentless, the both of you."
    • Shireen crossly reminding Davos that he thinks "knight" is pronounced "kuh-niggit" after he is late for his reading lesson, which Davos claims, "That happened once, weeks ago."
    • Davos on the difference between pirates and smugglers: "If you're a famous smuggler, you're doing it wrong."
      • And his general indignation about being called a pirate. He has standards, thank you very much!
    • And his brief story about how he was nearly beheaded by a First Sword of Braavos who failed to appreciate the difference.
      • Which for all we know, that could have very well been Syrio Forel.
    • And finally:
      Shireen: My father says a criminal is a criminal.
      Davos: Your father lacks an appreciation of the finer points of bad behavior.
  • Stannis contemptuously hails Davos with the line "You are a literary man now", and when Davos relates he has recruited some minor houses to the cause, Stannis complains that "they don't have enough men to raid a pantry."
    • In the same scene, Davos accuses Stannis of being a hypocrite because he doesn't want to hire sellswords, but he has no problem using magic. The truth is, Stannis doesn't have the money to pay sellswords. But the blink-and-you'll-miss-it Death Glare Stannis has on his face when Davos is accusing him of being a hypocrite is pretty priceless if you can catch it.

4 — Oathkeeper
  • Littlefinger's casual throwaway line about his "new friends" who wanted Joffrey dead, in which he informs Sansa precisely who they are without spelling it out (even though it is spelled out for the viewer afterwards with a Gilligan Cut).
    Littlefinger: As for what happened to Joffrey, well, that was something my new friends wanted very badly. Nothing like a thoughtful gift to make a new friendship grow strong.
  • Margaery's attempt to seduce Tommen is this and a Heartwarming Moment given how adorkable and obliviously innocent (and terrified) poor Tommen is. Especially when his pet cat "Ser Pounce" interrupts them; the knightly feline appears to be defending his young master's virtue!
  • Podrick, desperately trying to impress in his new role as Brienne's new squire, is confused as to whether he should address her as a knight or as a lady.
    • Brienne, after Pod correcting himself, gives Jaime a 'You're kidding me, right?' look.
    • Jaime foisting Pod off to Brienne, like a salesman trying to sell a used car.
    • The gigantic goofy grin he wears when the scene changes to him is just adorkable incarnate.
  • Jaime visits Tyrion in his prison cell. Levity ensues
    Jaime: To tell you the truth, this isn't so bad. Four walls. A pot to piss in. I was chained to a wooden post covered in my own shit for months.
    Tyrion: The Kingslayer brothers... you like it? I like it.
  • Tyrion's opinion on his trial and one particular judge:
    "I know that one of my three judges has wanted me dead more times than I can remember. And that judge is my father."
  • Bronn cheerfully referring to Joffrey as a twat that no-one is going to miss, to his "Uncle" Jaime of all people. Doubles as yet another moment of Refuge in Audacity from him, since there is absolutely no way that Bronn is the only person in Westeros not to have heard the rumour, and even less than he doesn't believe it to be true.
  • There's also his practice session with Jaime, where Jaime grows very cocky at how good he's getting with his left hand and even bring Bronn into a Blade Lock, only for him to take off Jaime's fake golden hand and smack him down, with Jaime lying on the floor with a "How did I not see that coming?" expression on his face.
  • Olenna Tyrell talking about how she seduced her late husband; it involved "accidentally" stumbling into his room when she was "lost" one night, and doing something that meant he couldn't even walk the next morning.
    • She reveals she was originally slated to marry a Targaryen — "Marrying a Targaryen was all the rage back then!" — and soundly mocks the Mystical White Hair look the family was known for. Apparently, she finds silver hair ludicrous.
    • The idea of marrying into a certain family being on the same descriptive terms as a fashion trend. Plus, the fact that the "trend" ended because said family was brutally slaughtered.
  • Locke training with Jon at Castle Black, after which he guesses Jon is high-born. When Jon confirms it, Locke says he thought at the Wall he'd be done sucking up to "highborn cunts". Jon laughs, and it takes Locke a moment to join in because he clearly wasn't saying it as a joke.
  • Olenna isn't exactly broken up about leaving King's Landing.
    Olenna: If I have to take one more leisurely stroll through these gardens, I'll fling myself from the cliffs.

5 — First of His Name
  • Robin nonchalantly throwing Petyr's gift out the Moon Door.
  • Everything about Lysa and Petyr's wedding... just everything. Lysa's insanity is finally played for first.
    • Lysa had a Septon ready to marry them right in the next room. She must have planned on getting married with Petyr fast.
    • Poor Sansa lying horrified in her bed as she hears her aunt shrieking in orgasm on her wedding night.
    • After asking Lysa to let him bathe and dress appropriately for their wedding, she swings open the doors to the room to reveal the Septon waiting and walks back to Petyr telling him she's going to scream when they make love. Petyr's facial expressions are hilarious to behold.
  • The conversation between Sansa and Lysa about Petyr is also funny, when Lysa tells Sansa that she should be very grateful to him, Sansa pauses before agreeing, clearly thinking, "Yes, grateful for putting me in this situation to begin with."
  • Pod failing at riding a horse, to Brienne's utter irritation.
    • Pod failing at cooking a rabbit, to Brienne's continued utter irritation.
      • Brienne herself failing to remove her own new armor, to more of Brienne's irritation, before delighting the Shippers by asking Pod to remove it for her. Though this may also be Heartwarming, as she may have been faking her inability to remove it after Pod relates how he'd saved Tyrion's life, wanting to give him a confidence boost.
  • Locke telling Grenn "he has no idea what he can do with a knife".
  • It's violent as hell, but there's something darkly funny about a Valyrian Steel sword like Longclaw going straight through Karl's mouth.
  • Margaery saying she'll have to ask her father about arranging a marriage with Tommen, followed by her POV shot of Mace clearly making a complete tit of himself even without our hearing what he's saying.
  • Tywin reminiscing about Robert patting him on the back, which Tywin finds extremely condescending.
  • Tywin impeccably mixing contempt with a pseudo-smirk as he makes sure that the next wedding will have zero nonsense.
    Tywin: No jugglers, no jousting dwarves, no 77-course meals...
    • This part of their conversation is also pretty funny, mostly because of how serious they are.
      Tywin: When will the wedding take place, in your mind?
      Cersei: As soon as decency permits; after we've allowed Tommen the proper time to mourn his brother and Margaery to mourn her husband.
      Tywin: A fortnight?
      Cersei: That seems reasonable.
  • Arya's prayers keeping the Hound awake.
    Sandor: Are you going to say the names of every fucking person in Westeros?
    • The Hound waking up the morning after Arya says his name in her prayers. Arya is nowhere to be seen, and his frantic looking around for her is priceless.
  • The Hound delivering Take Thats to Joffrey and Meryn Trant while making fun of Arya's recollections of Syrio Forel, even if counts as a Tearjerker because we still love Syrio as much as Arya.
    Sandor: I bet his hair was greasier than Joffrey's cunt.
    Arya: It was not!
    • And this.
      Arya: He was killed.
      Sandor: Who by?
      Arya: Meryn Trant. That's why Ser Meryn—
      Sandor: Meryn Trant! The greatest swordsman who ever lived killed by Meryn fucking Trant?
      Arya: He was outnumbered!
      Sandor: Any boy-whore with a sword could beat three Meryn Trants.
      Arya: Syrio didn't have a sword. Or armor. Just a stick.
      Sandor: The greatest swordsman who ever lived didn't have a sword? Hee hee!
  • Bran Stark unwittingly avenges Jaime Lannister, the man who crippled him in the first episode of the series, by killing Locke, the man who crippled Jaime last season.

6 — The Laws of Gods and Men
  • In the opening credits, the model of Braavos is a coin-rolling toy.
  • When Dany asks how many people there are left for her to see, she is told "212".
    • Even funnier, after a long pause and awkward facial expression exchanges, "send the next one in."
      • Very dark humor, but the whole exchange where she learns that she crucified Hizdahr zo Loraq's father. The smile falls right off her face and you can practically hear 'AWKWARD' .
  • Salladhor Saan's disappointment that the two women he's in a hot tub with have already heard the joke he's telling, plus telling Davos they're not friends anymore for pulling him away.
    • Actually, he says that because Davos gave most of the gold to Salladhor's wife. Which is much worse.
    • Plus, as the Bring My Brown Pants joke is so well known, many of the watchers found themselves finishing the joke alongside the whores, cutting Salladhor Saan off.
  • Before the start of the Small Council meeting, Oberyn bitches about being tired, because he was "up all night." Yeah, knowing him, we totally wonder why that is.
  • Tyrion's facial expression throughout much of his trial are funny until they're, you know, not anymore.
  • Oberyn is clearly bored and apathetic throughout the trial to the point that when Shae is called to witness, Oberyn is more interested in the details about Tyrion and Shae's sex life than the trial itself.
  • Close-ups of Margaery and Loras' reactions during the trial are actually quite amusing in a very dark way because they know their grandmother is the murderer, and thus they are well-aware that some of the testimonies are absolute bullshit.
    • When Pycelle says that poison is unquestionably the cause of death, the Tyrell siblings become a little tense.
    • When Pycelle holds up the necklace, Margaery and Loras intensely stare at it. They're clearly thinking, "Oh, so that's how grandma did it."
    • After Mace thanks Cersei for her "courage," the Tyrell siblings have an "Oh please, this is utter crap" expression on their faces. Mace's own children believe he's a doofus for buying into Cersei's nonsense!
    • After Shae claims that Tyrion stole the poison from Pycelle, Margaery exhales and Loras has a look of disbelief at how unfairly everything has been stacked against the accused.
    • When Shae states that Tyrion offered to kill Joffrey for Sansa, the Tyrell siblings are mildly shaken by the Blatant Lies. Both have interacted with Sansa, and they know she's too innocent to contemplate an assassination.
    • After Tyrion announces that he wants a trial by combat, Margaery and Loras' body language is a mixture of nervousness and a bit of guilt.
    • Plus, Loras looks like he's falling asleep during the end of the trial, and only appears to wake up after Tyrion demands a trial by combat.
  • Jaime points out to Tywin that if he executes Tyrion, Jaime is still sworn to the Kingsguard and cannot father children, so who's going to carry on the Lannister name if Tywin's sons can't? Lancel? Other cousins whose names Jaime can't remember?
  • Jaime puts his role as Kingsguard, and life's dream, on the line to try to save Tyrion's life... and is clearly put out a bit when his father replies with a prompt "Yeah, alright then".
    Jaime: I'll leave the Kingsguard, I'll take my place as your son and heir if you let Tyrion live.
    Tywin: [immediately] Done.
    [Jaime's face echoes a sentiment of "Huh, didn't actually think that'd work."]
  • Jaime starts his conspiratorial chat with Tyrion, about his plan to save his life, a little too bluntly:
    Tyrion: Not going well, is it?
    Jaime: You're going to be found guilty-
    Tyrion: [mock aghast] Oh, you think so!?
  • Meryn Trant's monumentally petty statements against Tyrion and his indignant tone when talking about how Tyrion slapped Joffrey around and called him names. As serious the situation is, seeing the brutal git is still seething from Tyrion's insults is rather amusing.
    • What's funny is how Meryn admits with a straight face that Tyrion threatened to kill him. Trant is a big man, wears full plate armour and a large sword and is in the elite Kingsguard. He has no sense of shame in admitting to being threatened by a dwarf.
  • Davos's subtle yet perfect Take That to Melisandre's line about onions and morality in Season 2's "Garden of Bones"
    Saalador Saan: Last I heard you were rotting in a dungeon in Dragonstone.
    Davos: Nah, only half rotten.
  • The Small Council meeting:
    • Mace Tyrell's Butt Monkey status is well confirmed, showing that his mother is very right in considering him an idiot.
      • Oberyn loudly wonders what he will be the "master" of, and Mace Tyrell quickly and defensively says that he's already been appointed the Master of Ships as if it's something he is proud of. note  Oberyn's expression of surprise is also funny because he was being sarcastic, and Mace took it seriously.
      • Then Mace tries to suck up to Tywin when he arrives, with Tywin completely ignoring him.
      • Near the end of the meeting, Mace happily acts as Tywin's errand boy, running off to fetch quill and paper when Tywin asks him to. His body language can safely be summed up as, "Stand back everyone! I have a quill and parchment to fetch!"
      • The reaction on Oberyn's expression is amazing, that look of wonder, "Man, this guy is a real dolt!" Tywin also looked surprised, perhaps thinking that Mace might have taken offense, but no, he took that very, very seriously.
      • The greatest and funniest Irony of this is that, as Tywin noted the episode before, the Lannisters probably need the Tyrells more than the other way around at this point. If anything, Tywin should be the one kissing Mace's ass.
    • When Tywin, the most powerful man in the Seven Kingdoms, enters the room, everyone rises from their seats and stands at attention. Everyone except Oberyn. He continues to sit comfortably, his knee on the table, not a care in the world. The defiance is not lost on Tywin, who enhances the scene when he gives one of his contemptuous looks as he silently passes by.
    • Varys' report of Sandor Clegane being sighted ending with this line.
      Varys: He killed five of our soldiers in a Tavern. I believe the phrase "fuck the king" was uttered.
    • Mace's rather exaggerated body language practically exclaims, "Oh my!" when he hears the vulgar insult.
    • On the subject of Barristan Selmy defecting to Daenerys' side, Tywin loudly points out that the decision to dismiss him was shortsighted and stupid, and glares directly at Cersei.
    • Oberyn pointing out that the [eunuch] Unsullied are impressive on the battlefield, but not so much in the bedroom. He turns a bit and finishes the phrase looking at Cersei, who averts her eyes away in disconfort.
    • Varys gives a breakdown of Dany's forces, ending with three dragons. Cersei replies "Baby" dragons, unaware that they are bigger than a mule at this point.
  • Pycelle spewing out probably the biggest piece of bullshit ever uttered on the show, and maybe even beyond.
    Pycelle: The strangler, a poison that few of us possess and used to strike down the most noble child the gods ever put on this good Earth!
    • Look around at the facial expressions on everyone else in the room. There is not a soul in the Red Keep that buys it.
  • Stannis and Davos meet the Iron Bank
    • Stannis impatiently walks around while being left to cool his heels before the Iron Bank representatives deign to see him.
    • When Davos tries to illustrate Eastern's sense of time with a story about some back in the day smuggling exploit, a righteous look from Stannis stops the tale and Davos altogether. Davos stays paralized like a statue of stone for a moment.
    • Davos once again points out the difference between "smuggler" and "pirate" when the Iron Bank representatives accuse him of stealing from them. Technically, he never stole anything, he just moved around the stuff the pirates stole.
    • Davos explains to Tycho the obvious problems with backing the Lannisters; Tywin is 67 years old and likely doesn't have long left, Tommen is a Puppet King, Cersei has a 0% Approval Rating, and Jaime is famous for betraying his oaths. As Davos spells out that backing the Lannisters is not a good idea if the Bank wants its money back, Tycho's eyes dart down as he realizes "Oh Crap!, he's right."
      • They key line is when Davos gets them to admit, "That's a problem for another time", he managed to make them confess that yes that is a problem and they have been thinking about it. That's expert negotiation there.
    • Tycho Nestoris, as played by Mark Gatiss, gets in a few laughs with his first appearance. He keeps Stannis and Davos waiting for hours and then he and his colleagues materialize through ominous doors, take their seats in massive ominous chairs and Tycho looks at Stannis with a big smile and says, "Welcome to the Iron Bank!" and then humiliates Stannis further by gesturing for him to take a seat on one of the tiny stone stool before them.
  • Tywin's trademark delivery of the line "You are not on trial for being a dwarf." Very deadpan, and as usual, annoyed that he has to state what he considers obvious.
  • Tyrion's spiteful denunciation of all and sundry has a disturbing yet delightful humor.
    "Watching your vicious bastard die gave me more relief than a thousand lying whores!"
    "I wish I had enough poison for the whole lot of you! I would gladly give my life to watch you all swallow it!"
  • Pycelle slowly reading out the lengthy list of poisons. Also, it seems that either he is short sighed, or he has trouble deciphering his own writing. Eventually he gets rudely interrupted with a comment to the effect of: "Yeah yeah, we get it, many poisons have been stolen!"

7 — Mockingbird
  • Brienne and Pod happen to stop at the inn where Hot Pie is now working. After an off-hand compliment about the meat pie, he sits down and starts rambling about how much work goes into making them. After the two share a look to the effect of "what is he doing?", they resume their meal and ignore him while he continues on ignorant of it.
    • Not to mention how, as they're leaving, Pod nervously tells Brienne that since the Starks have been declared traitors, it might not be a good idea to openly tell people how they're searching for the Stark girls (Brienne had just told Hot Pie about her quest). Almost immediately after, Hot Pie comes out and tells them in great detail how he'd been travelling with Arya Stark and where she probably went. After he leaves, Brienne turns to Pod and asks, "You were saying?"
  • Selyse's discomfort as Melisandre nonchalantly walks around completely nude. And a bit earlier, Mel tries very hard to keep her composure when Selyse almost grabs a very dangerous potion rather than bath salts.
    • Also Melisandre's efforts to lighten the mood with a joke bouncing off Selyse's fanatical shell.
  • Sansa slapping Robin is a nice Call Back to another Royal Brat being slapped, by her husband nonetheless.
  • Ser Jorah bumping into Daario just as he's walking out of Dany's bedroom, the look on Jorah's face more or less amounts to "Are you fucking kidding me?"
    • Before that, Daario's courtship gets its unexpected culmination when, after Daario has performed several ridiculously life-threatening chivalric feats; Dany reclines on a divan with some refreshment and...
      Daenerys: Take off your clothes.
      Daario: (Lazy smile)
      • Jorah snarking about how he's later than some when arriving at the war room.
        Daario: Jorah the Andal. Are you here to see our Queen?
        Jorah: ...
        Daario: (Slaps him on the back) She's in a good mood.
  • Tyrion and Jaime joking that if Jaime fights for Tyrion and dies, they would at least spite their lord father.
    Tyrion: Imagine the look on father's face if you lose (they chuckle) . Our family name snuffed out with a single swing of a sword
    Jaime: It's tempting.
  • Oberyn tells Tyrion that when Tyrion was born, there were many rumors about his monstrous appearance, including possessing both male and female genitalia. Tyrion responds by commenting how much easier that would have made things for him.
    • Tyrion's request for details about Oberyn's sex life is also great: "They have every kind of filth down here except the kind I like."
  • When Cersei meets Gregor and tells him he'll be killing someone for her, Gregor first asks who it will be and she replies if it even matters. Gregor's expression is really funny as if he's contemplating the philosophical implications and only now realized his purpose in life before shaking his head dumbly.
    • The way Cersei approaches him, ignoring the carnage and bloodshed and speaking to him with her usual poise, not showing the slightest fear. This is the woman who raised the holy terror, Joffrey after all!
  • The swift manner in which Arya dispatches Rorge. The Hound asks why he wasn't on her famous list, she merely tells him that she never knew his name. After a quick introduction, Arya stabs him in a prompt "Right, off you go!" fashion.
    • And the Hound adds a pithy, "You're learning..." before the two continue on their way, just another day in the Riverlands for the dynamic duo.
  • A dark example, Oberyn describing a young Cersei pinching a baby Tyrion's cock.
  • Tyrion and Bronn discussing the latter's newly arranged marriage to Lollys Stokeworth.
    Tyrion: She's dim-witted!
    Bronn: If I wanted wits, I'd marry you.
    • During the conversation, Tyrion tries to get Bronn to fight for him by bribing him with large amounts of Land in The North should he win. Bronn however doesn't want to as The North is Hard and Cold, whilst Lolly is Soft and Warm.
  • Sansa's smirk when Robin boasts that he will throw the people she dislikes out of the Moon Door. There's the slight pause before it, and you know she's thinking, "First Joffrey and now this one, I sure attract the crazies."
    • Alternately, it could be read as, after all the shit she's been put through by so many people, she's considering taking him up on the offer.

8 — The Mountain and the Viper
  • Sandor and Arya learning that they've arrived at the Vale just days late after Lysa's death. Sandor's face slowly falls as his ransom goes swirling down the drain, while Arya just laughs her head off. Notably, this is moments after they've had a conversation about what brings them joy.
    • Of course, this may lose its humour when you compare Arya laughing to a certain other man laughing after receiving some very bad news.
    • Or maybe she's finding it funny that every time she's about to be reunited with family, said family winds up dying.
    • The Hound's misfortune of constantly having his precious ransom money constantly being taken away from him. It's hysterical.
    • The Vale knight's reaction was pretty funny too. As he turns to his fellow guards you can almost hear him whispering, "...The fuck?"
    • Before that, the Hound and Arya are bonding in the most awful ways as they walk along through the Vale, with Arya casually talking about how awesome it is when you look someone in the eye and they know you're going to kill them. The Hound agrees that there's nothing quite like that.
    Waynwood: Who would approach the Bloody Gate?
    Clegane: The bloody Hound!
  • The look Sansa gives Littlefinger after her lies get him out of his trial at the Vale. She is crying on an elderly woman's shoulder and just opens her eyes and gives him a look saying, "Two can play this game."
    • Sansa's Evil Costume Switch, donning a black dress with feathered shoulders and a matching necklace and a plunging neckline, looks so silly and overdone it becomes Narm. It's like a teenager trying to dress up like a cartoon villain.
  • As Oberyn and Gregor's duel is beginning, Grand Maester Pycelle is doing a prayer for the Seven to guide the trial to a just verdict in various ways. After he's been going a few seconds too long, Tywin looks to the hornblower and gestures for him to blow. What really sells it is that Pycelle immediately takes the hint and shuts up and walks off the field.
    • Particularly with how reminiscent it is of an Oscar winner getting played off when their speech is too long.
    • And funnier because this is standard procedure. Tywin cut him off purely because it's Pycelle.
    • And Pycelle using his fake-senility act to be a petty shit to Tyrion again. "We gather to ascertain the guilt or innocence of this"
  • Daenerys referring to cock and balls as "Pillar and Stones".
  • Tyrion and Jaime's conversation before the trial is simultaneously tragic on multiple levels due to what they are talking about, and yet hilarious due to how dismissive and jocular the two are about everything they talk about in it. After Tyrion muses for a few moments about all the different words for different kinds of murder (suicide, homicide, patricide, regicide...) Jaime casually asks for the word for cousin killing in a hilariously dismissive Call Back to the scene in Season 2 when he murdered his own cousin in an effort to escape captivity, which Tyrion confesses he does not know. They then begin a thoroughly dickish discussion about poor brain damaged cousin Orson whom both happily mock including horrible yet hilarious impressions of him crushing beetles with a rock, with Jaime pointing out how Tyrion should have some sympathy for the disabled which Tyrion dismisses as he felt that laughing at the even more unfortunate made him feel like everyone else. When Tyrion reveals he went on an almost philosophical quest to find out why Orson hated beetles so much, he mentions the library of their old Maester (which causes Jaime to casually drop the fact said maester attempted to molest him once) and talks about all the efforts he went to in order to find the truth and how obsessed he became until Orson was killed by a mule. While the conversation becomes tragic towards the end, hearing these two snarkers casually joke about the most godawful things is just hilarious. Furthermore, the line about the mule comes absolutely out of nowhere, making the entire story almost seem like a long wrought-out joke.
    • While trying to decipher Orson's beetle smashing at the library, Tyrion laments that there is countless books about the ways of great men... and not a whole lot devoted to morons.
    • This priceless exchange:
    Tyrion: Do you think Oberyn has a chance?
    Jaime: (Contemplates)
    Tyrion: 'The Red Viper of Dorne', you don't get a name like that unless you're deadly, right?
    Jaime: Never seen him fight.
    Tyrion: Oh, he's going to die! I'm going to die!
    • And this one:
      Tyrion: And I had to know, because it was horrible that all these beetles should be dying for no reason.
      Jaime: Every day around the world, men, women, and children are murdered by the score. Who gives a dusty fuck about a bunch of beetles?
      Tyrion: I know. But still it filled me with dread.
  • This exchange from just before the start of the duel, when The Mountain strolls onto the scene:
    Ellaria: You're going to fight that?
    Oberyn: I'm going to kill that.
    Ellaria: He's the biggest man that I have ever seen!
    Oberyn: Size does not matter when you are flat on your back.
    Tyrion: Thank the gods.
    • What more is, Tyrion is obviously distracted and ready to shit his pants, not even glancing over when he opens his mouth. That quip is completely reflexive.
  • Tyrion telling Oberyn to wear a helmet is hilarious if you've heard George R.R. Martin's commentary on "Blackwater," where he endlessly bitches about Helmets Are Hardly Heroic.
  • Tyrion's stunned expression when Oberyn loses and he is sentenced to death. He doesn't seem afraid of dying so much as amazed that his renowned champion could lose in such humiliating fashion.
  • Ramsay and Roose's meeting is fraught with subtly funny moments in body language. The way Ramsay is trying so hard to play the deferential son and Roose looks at him with wariness and disdain. When he says, "Walk with me", the voice and body language essentially says, "Yup, I'm stuck with this one."
    • The scene where Roose tells Ramsay how the North is now theirs, which feels taken straight from The Lion King, and all the memes that followed.
  • The Mole's Town prostitute burping a tune and scolding the guy who always guesses "The Rains of Castamere".
    • And it's actually "The Bear and the Maiden Fair," leading to plenty more jokes about how those seem to be the only two songs that exist in this world.
  • In the middle of Tyrion rambling on about beetles, Jaime mentions that a maester tried to molest him. Tyrion continues without stopping.

9 — The Watchers on the Wall
  • The three different conversations about sex the characters have before the shit starts hitting the fan.
    • Sam nagging Jon for details as to his tryst with Ygritte.
    • Ygritte furiously interrupting Tormund's tale about fucking a bear, whilst sharpening a huge pile of arrows meant for Jon.
    • Aemon's irritation that Sam didn't think how he could ever be interested in girls due to his age.
      • Aemon and Sam's "no I don't", "yes you do" over the latter's love for Gilly in all its childish glory.
  • And lest we forget this priceless exchange:
    Pyp: Never heard you curse before.
    Sam: Well, you better get used to it!
  • Sam invoking Crows Before Hoes to Gilly before going off to battle and how this may be the moral of the entire episode.
  • Alliser Thorne's Brutal Honesty about the Enemy Mine situation he finds himself in with Jon. "You were right, I hate to admit it but you were right. Now, let's do our duty and defend the wall together so we can live and go back to hating each other."
    • His Surrounded by Idiots face when one of the men drops a barrel off the wall when he tells them to hold. He immediately switches from the Badass leader figure to a nagging teacher. Simultaneously a Crowning Moment of Funny and Awesome. His expression can be summed up as "I'm going to die tonight, and it has to be next to these incompetent idiots. Well, fuck."
      Ser Alliser: "Archers nock! Everyone else, hold!"
      Grenn slips and drops a barrel over the wall.
      Ser Alliser winces.
      Ser Alliser: "I said nock and hold you cunts! Does nock mean draw?"
      Everyone else: "No, Ser."
      Ser Alliser: "Does fucking hold mean fucking drop?"
      Everyone else: "No, Ser."
      Ser Alliser: "You prepared to die here tonight?"
      Everyone else: "No, Ser!"
      Ser Alliser: "That's very good to hear!"
  • It quickly becomes a Tear Jerker, but Sam and Pyp's earlier interactions during the battle are amusing.
    • Especially Pyp's excitement at having hit someone with an arrow.
      Pyp: I hit one!
      Sam: Is it over?
      Pyp: ...
      Sam: Well, then!
  • Janos Slynt running from the fight to hide in the larder, only to be met by Gilly giving him a WTF expression.
    • Plus, Gilly attempting to ward off unexpected visitors with a leg of ham while Slynt cowers pathetically behind the door.
      • Which, according to what Sam said earlier, makes her more of a man than Janos Slynt.
  • When Sam steps out onto the battlefield to fight, the Thenn warg sees him and immediately starts chasing him down. Guess he was really looking forward to some fat Sam crow meat after the battle.
  • One moment delivers a triple-whammy. First, one of the wildling archers attempts to fire up at the defenders at the top of the Wall... and it doesn't even make it halfway up. Then, a giant lines up next to him, draws a massive bow of his own - as if to say "this is how it's done, kid," - and fires a shot that takes out a huge chunk of scaffolding. The giant's next shot hits one of the defenders, and it doesn't just impale him; it blasts him clean through the roof, over the battlements, off the Wall, and down into Castle Black's courtyard 700 feet below! The "where the hell did he come from?" reaction of the defender he lands next to is just icing on the cake.
  • Upon being put in charge, Dolorous Edd's first words are essentially "Come on, you apes! You want to live forever?"
  • Janos Slynt's ridiculous denial of he looks down at two of them storming the wall.

10 — The Children
  • Jaime's entrance to Tyrion's prison:
    Tyrion: Oh, get on with it, you son of a whore.
    Jaime: Is that any way to speak about our mother?
  • Tywin Lannister dies on a privy, proving Littlefinger quite right — some people do die squatting over their chamber pots.
    • Better yet, this episode aired on Father's Day.
  • It very quickly becomes not funny, but Shae and Tyrion's first reaction to seeing each other is stunned silence. Then they attack each other.
    • Better yet, this episode aired on the evening before Sibel Kekilli's birthday.
    • After Tyrion strangles her to death, the camera slowly pans over to Shae's face from a rather unflattering angle, then Tyrion says "I'm sorry" in a tone that sounds more like his usual snarky and sarcastic tone than apologetic. This troper saw the finale in a movie theatre, and the entire audience laughed at this point.
  • The extremely long fight between Brienne and the Hound. They're probably the two strongest characters in the show after Ser Gregor, and watching them beat the ever-loving crap out of each other and keep on kicking is like watching the infamous fight scene from They Live! — only with swords.
    • Before that, Arya crossly demanding Sandor stop taking a shit when she notices Brienne and Pod.
  • When Stannis and Davos are walking over to Jon and Mance, one wildling decides to run and attempt to kill Stannis, only to have a Baratheon cavalryman cut him off and cut him down, without Stannis and Davos even breaking stride.
  • Though the context is sad, Tormund lampshades the Slap-Slap-Kiss nature of Jon Snow and Ygritte's relationship.
    Tormund: Did you love her? She loved you.
    Jon: She told you?
    Tormund: No. She never talked about anything but killing you. That's how I knew.
  • Mance tells Jon Snow that the giant who died in their tunnel was Mag the Mighty, the last of the bloodline of a great king. Jon tells him that his friend Grenn killed him. Grenn was a farmer.
  • Varys' "Fuck this, I'm outta here" face once he hears the bells ringing (itself a Call Back to his and Tyrion's conversation about bells heralding terrible things two seasons ago) in response to Tywin's death being discovered.
    • Also, his "cunning plan" to smuggle Tyrion out of Kings Landing. Unceremoniously packing him inside a crate and literally shipping him off to the Free Cities (Which also serves as a Call Back to Season 2, in this case Cersei's repeated angry rants about Tyrion shipping Myrcella to Dorne in a crate).
    • The still of him sitting beside that crate is hilarious, Varys is all "Move along nothing to see here, just an eunuch beside a crate that is just the right size for a small child or a small man, nothing special."
      • Also, his facial expression as he sits there: "I'm so starting to regret this..."
  • Mance Rayder gives Jon Snow a taste of proper Northern booze. Jon has troubles keeping it down.
  • Cersei's scene with Tywin is hilarious. Especially that long pause where she slowly smirks and taunts her father about the worst kept secret in Westeros, which he is the last person to discover is true.
    • Well there is no bigger blind that the one who doesn't want to see. It's pretty clear through the series that he does know, but is too prideful to admit it to himself. It's still hilarious to see Tywin losing his cool, shaking his hands, and answering "I... I don't believe you..." just after the confirmation comes out of Cersei's own lips.
    • Before that, her bluntly cutting him off as he's launching into another one of his self-congratulatory stories about how he made his kids do something they didn't want to do when they were young is just soooo satisfactory.
  • Bran and his companions being saved from the wights by the sudden appearance of one of the "Children" It's the way she says Bran's full name and how Bran's already weird storyline has gotten even more bizarre. As this video of a Chicago bar watching the finale shows, it's such a WTF? moment that you can't help but laugh.
  • It's appropriate that the partnership of our favorite Badass and Child Duo ends with a moment of Black Comedy. Arya Stark crouches down next to Sandor Clegane as if to give him a Mercy Kill...then she pinches the bag of silver he stole and walks off without a word.
  • More of the same with Tywin's death. "You're afraid of a dead whore?"—thwack! Bolt in the chest.
    • And Tywin's reaction to the same. He just sounds so annoyed—like he can't believe Tyrion has managed to disappoint him yet again.

    Season 5 

1 — The Wars to Come
  • After pondering how his own execution will be carried out, Mance remarks that being burned to death is a "bad way to go."
  • Tyrion and Varys don't take very long to get their snark on again:
    Tyrion: I still don't see why I had stay in this fucking crate once we set sail.
    Varys: I saved your life. If they catch you, they catch me. I cannot say I feel overly guilty about leaving you in that 'fucking crate'.
    Tyrion: Do you know what it's like to stuff your shit through one of those air holes?
    Varys: No; I only know what it's like to pick up your shit and throw it overboard.
    • After Varys says Tyrion has compassion, Tyrion cites some recent events proving otherwise.
      Tyrion: I killed my lover with my bare hands. I shot my own father with a crossbow.
      Varys: I never said you were perfect.
    • Varys tells Tyrion that he has a choice between drinking himself to death, or accompanying him to Meereen to meet Dany. Tyrion's response?
  • When Tyrion pukes up all the wine he's been living on, Varys is the only one who is fazed by it and his body language looks offset and nauseous, even making a little jump in reaction. Tyrion is entirely unconcerned and wastes no time in pouring himself another immediately after.
  • Daario fondling his dagger behind Hizdahr, (who is grating on Daenerys' nerves with protests to re-open the fighting pits), non-verbally promising Dany an evening she won't forget after his mission to Yunkai.
    • Their pillow talk has some darkly comic moments as well from Naharis. If but from his refreshingly optimistic outlook on life considering his horrific past, which he seems almost to look back fondly on.
      Daario: My mother was a whore, I told you that. She liked to drink pear brandy. The older she got, the less she made selling her body, the more she wanted to drink. So, one day, when I was twelve, she sold me to the slaver she fucked the night before.
      Daenerys: (aghast) I'm sorry.
      Daario: Why? (cheekily) I was a bad child.
    • This earlier rebuke.
      Hizdahr: Opening them, would show the people of Yunkai and Meereen that you respect their traditions.
      Daenerys: I do not respect the tradition of human cock-fighting.
    • Also, when Dany finally puts her foot down with a "no means no" warning statement, Hizdahr lets out the most adorably outraged quiet little gasp. As if he was just about to say something and thought better of it.
  • Cersei visibly restraining herself from throttling Loras during his bland, rambling platitudes about her father. This also pisses her off enough to shut Pycelle down when he tries to offer his own.
    • Loras' actually attempting to say something nice about Tywin to Cersei, which when translated from polite-speak was that he was flat-out fucking terrified of him. Doubly funny considering that the departed cultivated and relished precisely that image and would find the words highly praising. You can picture Tywin giving one of his scarce hums of approval to the line.
      Just being in his presence was enough to make it so clear just how formidable a person you were dealing with. What aŚ what a force to be reckoned with
    • Also, this exchange.
      Cersei: What can I do for you?
      Lancel: You can forgive me.
      Cersei: What could you possibly have done to warrant my forgiveness?
      Lancel: I led you into the darkness.
      Cersei: I doubt you've ever led anyone anywhere.
    • There's also Kevan Lannister treating his son, Lancel's whole born-again religious conversion as if it were an annoying, childish phase, like being emo or goth.
  • Pycelle also keeps being ignored, which is by now a Running Gag. This time Cersei strolls past him wordlessly when he starts to condemn Varys.
  • Jon feels the need to break the ice with Melisandre while they're ascending up the Wall in the crank lift to speak to Stannis and she asks him out of nowhere if he's a virgin. Give props to Melisandre for producing an Uncomfortable Elevator Moment in a world where lifts are so rare.
  • Cersei is hitting the booze hard, almost every scene she's in features her drinking wine. The beginning of one scene has her finishing off a glass and then by the ending she's grabbed another glass to drink as she leaves.
  • Lord Robin Arryn's training session at Runestone mainly showcases his complete ineptitude with a sword. The little wimpy yelps he does throughout getting his ass schooled doesn't help matters either. Lord Royce doesn't bother to hide his contempt, while Littlefinger provides somewhat disingenuous/backhanded praise.
    Baelish: Lord Arryn will never be a great warrior...
    Royce: Great warrior?! He swings a sword like a girl with palsy!
  • When Gilly wonders why Sam is not training, he gets defensive and nonchalantly points out that he actually killed a White Walker and a Thenn.

2 — The House of Black and White

  • Varys and Tyrion's cart ride to Volantis is full of these:
    • Varys having just about had it with Tyrion's self pity tries to snap him out of it one last time.
      Varys: Are we really going to spend the entire voyage talking about the futility of everything?
      Tyrion: You're right, no point.
    • Tyrion complaining about an insect in his wine.
    • On the subject of bounties:
      Varys: Cersei has offered a lordship to the man who brings her your head.
      Tyrion: She ought to offer her cunt. Best part of her for the best part of me.
  • Tyrion muses, "How many dwarfs are there in the world? Is Cersei going to kill them all?" Gilligan Cut to a severed dwarf head (which resembles Tyrion's) being placed on a table before Cersei. Qyburn then asks for the head for his wacky experiments, which nonpluses the men who brought it even more.
    • Note that the bounty hunters made an effort to replicate Tyrion's scar from the Battle of Blackwater. Problem is, the cut is obviously fresh...and on the wrong side of the face.
  • During the council meeting where Kevan is delivering his "Reason You Suck" Speech to Cersei, he demands to know where Jaime's gone. Cersei informs him that, apparently, the Master of War does not need to know anything about the diplomatic status of his kingdom. Upon hearing this, Kevan's face is basically the expression equivalent of a Flat "What.".
  • Cersei's body language during the Small Council meeting is understatedly funny. The way she wiggles into the Hand of the King's chair is equal parts, "Yeah, that's right, this is my seat now; deal with it", and "How did Father sit comfortably in this thing?"
  • When Shireen is teaching Gilly to read the alphabet, Sam chimes in from reading one of the historical books.
    Sam: Did you know that the youngest Lord Commander in history Osiric Stark, was elected at age ten?
    Gilly: (looks down at book) I know 'S'.
  • To general amusement, Sam relates the cowardice of Janos Slynt during the battle and how Sam found him in a puddle of his own making.
  • Bronn and his betrothed stroll through a beach, but he's completely aloof and uninvolved in her conversation about their wedding, and is instead concentrated in stone skipping.
  • Arya acting more like sheĺs on her first date when she arrives at the House of Black and White.
  • Though it was during a tense moment, Pod throwing a rock at a fully-armed knight was pretty amusing. And missing.
    Vale Knight: I guess that means you're unarmed.
  • When Jaime shows up and Lollys asks who it is, Bronn responds with, "Jaime Fookin' Lannister."
    • Also, Lollys giggly schoolgirl reaction when Jaime kisses her hand- cue Bronn promptly shooing her away so they can talk.

3 — High Sparrow
  • Margaery mercilessly trolling Cersei, first with regrets that it's too early for her and her ladies so they don't have wine available, then gushing about how great Tommen is in bed, and then poking fun at Cersei's age.
  • Arya shouting "Cunt!" when the blind girl suddenly smacks her painfully on the arm. Followed by her wide-eyed fury at getting so easily bested by a fellow Little Miss Badass.
  • Tommen declares he wants to spend the rest of his life having sex after he and Margaery consummate their marriage.
  • Tyrion complaining that the only face he's seen since coming to Essos is Varys' face, with Varys' witty and slightly offended reply.
    Varys: It's a perfectly good face.
    (later in Volantis)
    Tyrion: I need to speak to someone with hair.
    • Varys grows tired of denying Tyrion's Madness Mantra:
      Tyrion: I have to get out of this wheelhouse.
      Varys: (sigh) I'm not sure how many new ways I can find of saying this...
    • Tyrion abruptly wandering away from Varys to observe the Red Priestess's sermon, apparently drawn by the sight of a Red Priest more attractive than Thoros of Myr.
    • Also, his commentary to the sermon, during which he compares the prayers to ward off greyscale to dancing away the plague, and - when the priestess declares Daenerys to be the new messiah - providing this beautifully sarcastic aside to Varys.
      "We're going to meet the saviour! You should have told me! Who doesn't want to meet the saviour?"
  • At the start of the High Septon Faith of the Seven-themed orgy, Olyvar is bizarrely dressed as the Father, complete with a cheap pair of scales and a hilariously fake beard - which doesn't even match his own hair colour. He doesn't seem to be happy about his role, openly breaking character to grumble that the guy always worships the same girl and reminding him that he'll have to pay extra for two.
    • And the High Septon irritably cuts him off, as if saying: "Don't ruin the moment with your stupid accounting!"
    • Apparently it's not enough for the High Septon to be a Dirty Old Man who's (presumably) breaking a vow of celibacy; the show felt the need to go all out and give him a straight-up blasphemy kink.
  • After the High Septon is found "ministering" with prostitutes, after being sarcastically questioned by Qyburn over the matter, he actually tries to pass it off as serving the low classes - or as Qyburn puts it, "devout prostitutes." Doubly funny, Pycelle is quick to spurt an indignant line about a man's private affairs, a knee-jerk, defensive reaction about his own whoremongering.
  • Alliser Thorne is the last person standing in the way of the other brothers as they advance on Slynt to take him out to the chopping block. For a minute Thorne looks like he might do something but then he steps aside and gives a Slynt a half-apologetic/half-contemptuous look that says, "Sucks to be you, bro!"
    • Just before that: Jon's drawing out of Thorne's possible punishment by presumably relegating him to being a captain of a team digging a latrine pit. Only to then subvert it and nominate a Brother by the name of Brian for the task as it "seems like a good job for a ginger."
  • Tyrion's wit hasn't waned from his depression:
    Bouncer: (in bastard Valyrian) It is good luck to rub a dwarf's head.
    Tyrion: (common tongue) It is even better luck to suck a dwarf's cock.
    • Followed by an "oh, for fuck's sake" reaction from Varys.
  • When Brienne and Pod discuss her relationship to Renly, Pod tries to bring up the latter's homosexuality while simultaneously struggling not to actually use the word. Brienne bluntly cuts him off.
    "Yes Pod, he liked men, I'm not an idiot!"
  • Lord Tyrell now has the very important task of opening and closing the door of the Small Council room. He goes about it and prances in his slow, dignified way, which makes him all the more ridiculous.
  • In a possible nod to the show's infamous Loads and Loads of Characters, the High Septon struggles to remember Qyburn's name, to which he gives a blithe "It doesn't matter."
  • Cersei quietly seething as the common people only cheer for Margaery during the royal wedding procession.
  • The Daenerys-themed prostitute. Apparently, making the Mother of Dragons into a saviour wasn't enough for Volantis, so they decided to make her into a franchise as well.
    Varys: Someone who inspires priests and whores is worth taking seriously.
  • Varys' "Oh, for the love of..." expression after Tyrion wanders off.
  • Stannis scowls at The Godfather.
    Jon: I heard it was best to keep your enemies close...
    Stannis: Whoever said that didn't have many enemies.
  • Qyburn being a creepy Devil in Plain Sight: Cersei visits him in his chambers (basically a stock Mad Scientist laboratory) just as he's cutting open a rat for some unknown purpose. They have a normal conversation, but right after she leaves, the camera focuses on whoever/whatever is strapped down on a gurney (probably whatever is left of Gregor Clegane). The thing starts struggling and Qyburn reacts calmly as if this was totally normal.

4 — The Sons of the Harpy
  • Bronn's summation of Dorne and his worries about traveling there.
    Bronn: You ever been to Dorne?
    Jaime: No.
    Bronn: I have. The Dornish are crazy. All they know how to do is fight and fuck, fuck and fight.
    Jaime: You should be happy to go back.
    Bronn: There's nothing like a good fight to get you in the mood for fucking. And there's nothing like a fuck-mad Dornish girl to clear your head for the next fight. It's how the two work together. Now I know we're gonna be doing a lot of fighting, I'm sure. Well, I am. But I don't imagine we'll have time to stick around for the rest...
  • In a scene destined to become memetic, Jaime and Bronn are on a little boat rowing toward the shores of Dorne. Well, Bronn is rowing. When he looks at Jaime, tired and expectant, Jaime just raises his golden hand, like "Not happening." Bronn sighs and keeps rowing.
  • Bronn casually killing a snake that was sneaking up on Jaime's head.
    Bronn: Breakfast.
  • Bronn tells Jaime the way he would want to die.
    "In my own keep, drinking my own wine, watching my sons grovel over my fortune."
    • Even more so in that it's a bit of a Call Back to Tyrion's answer to the same question from Shagga.
  • One of the Dornishmen asks our duo who they are. Bronn introducing himself as "Cooper" (and Jaime as "Darnell") almost without missing a beat is so unexpected it's hilarious.
  • Jaime's lying is a bit rusty when he and Bronn are accosted by four Dornish riders.
    Dornishman: Why are you here?
    Bronn: Our ship capsized in the night. We managed to swim ashore. It was a near thing, really.
    Jaime: I thought the sharks would get us.
    Dornishman: There are no sharks in Dorne.
    Jaime: (shrugs) Could've sworn those were shark fins.
    Bronn: ... Dolphins, maybe.
    • Blink and you miss it, but Bronn gives a subtle but brilliant "You just couldn't keep your big mouth shut, could you?" reaction when Jaime blunders in.
  • Of course, Jaime saving himself at the last second by catching a Dornish rider's saber with his golden hand, giving him time to retrieve his own sword and kill the man. The saber's still lodged in the golden hand, though, and he has to kick it loose.
    • When Jaime says they have to bury the soldiers they killed, and by they he means Bronn, the sellsword's face is saying: "I'm this close to killing this SOB myself!".
  • A villainous example, but there is this exchange after Cersei has Mace Tyrell shipped off to deal with The Iron Bank in Braavos:
    Pycelle: The small council grows smaller every day.
    Cersei: Not small enough.
  • When Margaery comes to Tommen to reveal that Cersei has manipulated The High Sparrow into imprisoning her brother, the boy king's obliviousness is as funny as it is sad.
    Tommen: ... Aren't you and mother getting along?
    • As dramatic as it is, Margaery's clear annoyance at being married to such a sweet, good-natured, and weak-willed boy is pretty amusing when considering everything her family did to get rid of his polar opposite brother. Not such a perfect plan after all.
  • Tyrion is trying to tell Jorah to remove the gag from his mouth. When he realizes Jorah isn't going to right away, he starts singing the Rains of Castamere through the gag. After a moment of staring at Tyrion in bemused exasperation, Jorah finally ungags him. Tyrion proceeds to figure out who he is, what he wants and why his mission is so pointless. Then he starts trolling him about it, as Tyrion is prone to do. Jorah stands up, looking as if he's about to untie the imp, then bitch-slaps Tyrion — until now the show's resident bitch-slapper — knocking him out, which is more than Tyrion can say for any of his slaps!
    • As he talks, Tyrion casually admits he was drunk through most of the small council meetings and has trouble remembering what was talked about during them.
    • The snark Tyrion delivers in every line is solid stuff.
    Tyrion: You're going the wrong way. My sister is in Westeros. And Westeros is west.
  • Stannis takes his bloody time to return Shireen's hug, as if he didn't know how.
    • Earlier in the scene when he asks Shireen if she is lonely.
    Stannis: Are you lonely?
    Shireen: Just bored.
    Stannis: My father used to tell me that boredom indicates a lack of inner resources.
    Shireen: Were you bored a lot too?
    • This little bit as well:
    Shireen: I thought I'd be left at home. I know Mother didn't want to bring me.
    Stannis: Why do you say that?
    Shireen: She told me, "I don't want to bring you."
  • Barristan mentions to Daenerys that he and her brother, Rhaegar, once used the money that Rhaegar earned in the streets with his minstrel work to get "horribly drunk." Many joined Dany in laughing at the thought of the old knight and the young prince hanging out and getting wasted.
  • Melisandre's attempt to seduce Jon is so straightforward that it seems taken from a porn movie, just disrobing and telling the guy to feel her heart with some excuse. She's so confident in her assets that she does not find the need for less sleazy moves. Her annoyance showing that she's not at all used to rejection is also amusing.
    • Of particular note: when Jon tries to put her off by mentioning his oath of celibacy, earning a wonderful "Who are you trying to fool?" glance from Melisandre (and probably most of the audience).
  • When Ser Barristan seems tired of having to deal with Hizdar:
    Daario: I think I can protect the queen from Hizdar Zo Loraq.
    Daenerys: I think I can protect me from Hizdar Zo Loraq.

5 — Kill the Boy
  • Jon asks Maester Aemon how he's feeling.
    • Jon claims that his latest decision will divide The Night's Watch and that half the men will hate him. Without even hearing what Jon's plans are, Aemon very pointedly tells him, "Half of the men already hate you. Do it!"
  • A Night's Watchman uses "less" when he should have used "fewer." Stannis can't help but correct him under his breath, much to Davos's confusion.
  • A dark example, but Ramsay abruptly breaking the twelve-second silence he caused by parading Theon in front of Sansa and forcing him to apologize for killing her brothers is actually pretty funny:
    Ramsay: There! Over and done with. Does everyone feel better? I do! That was getting very tense.
  • Sansa's surreptitious enjoyment of Ramsay getting the smug wiped off his face by the announcement that Walda is pregnant. The awkward and mounting silence is just hilarious.
  • In the scene immediately following this, father and son have a private conversation that starts with Ramsay inquiring how Roose managed to get Walda pregnant. Ramsay's childlike pouting met with Roose's deadpan frankness is as close to actual humor as we're getting with these two outside of their individual trolling.
    Ramsay: How can you be sure?
    Roose: Sure of what?
    Ramsay: That she's pregnant. I mean (holds his hands far apart) how can you tell?
    Roose: Maester Wolkan has assured us beyond all doubt.
    Ramsay: ... So how did you - manage it?
    Roose: Manage what?
    Ramsay: Getting her pregnant.
    Roose: I imagine you're familiar with the procedure.
    Ramsay: Of course, but how did you find it?
  • When Davos asks Shireen if she's afraid of the idea of being near a battle, she tells him she is not, prompting Davos to ask for her protection when the battle comes.
    • Then Selyse tells Davos not talk to Shireen about battles, because he'll scare her. This is the same woman who happily watches people she's known all her life burn alive and keeps stillborn babies in jars. The hypocrisy is out of this world.
  • Stannis and Sam talk to each other. First, Stannis winces and is taken aback a bit, as unexpectedly, Sam the-white-walker-killer Tarly doesn't look like a warrior, but is nice and praises Sam's father, not knowing the two Tarlys hate each other. Then gives him the validation that Sam never got from his father, telling him that his knowledge is important in the conflict with the White Walkers.
    • Stannis basically starts the conversation by remarking that Sam's father was the only one who ever defeated his much-resented brother Robert in battle, and that it might not have happened had Robert listened to his advice back in the day.
      • There's also something amusing about the way Gilly scurries out of the room when Stannis shows up- especially as he looks slightly bemused as he watches her leave.
  • Jon wishes Stannis good luck and thanks him. For a moment, Stannis seems to be about to reciprocate in kind with some parting words. True to himself, Stannis doesn't. Not a word, not even a last glance or look back. Off to Winterfell it is then.
  • When Daenerys comes to his cell, Hizdahr seems to think she's going to execute him and begs for his life. She's actually there to tell him she's going to heed his advice and reopen the fighting pits, as well as strengthen her bonds with the Meereenese by more or less forcing him to marry her! Hizdahr's a bigger Butt Monkey than Lancel ever was.
  • Tyrion reacts to getting slapped around by Jorah in the last episode.

6 — Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken
  • When the slavers are going to cut Tyrion's dick off, he manages to confuse them with circular logic; saying that a merchant wouldn't know they were giving him a dwarf penis unless they had the live dwarf. Despite this, they have no reason to spare him, they could just keep the body! Tyrion is also not only trying to defend himself, but his comment in response makes it seem he is offended that they would even think so!
    Slaver: It would be a dwarf-sized cock!
    Tyrion: Guess - again.
    Malko: ... The dwarf lives until we find a cock merchant.
    • Just the fact that there exists such a thing as a "cock merchant" is absolutely hilarious, gruesome details aside. One wonders if Tyrion accidentally invented a new superstition when he, a couple of episodes ago, declared that sucking a dwarf's cock brings luck.
    • After Tyrion extolls Jorah's feats in battle to convince the slavers to take him to Meereen's fighting pits, Malko asks Jorah if it's true that they: "sang songs about him", Jorah only answers with a modest little nod as if saying: "well, I don't want to brag or anything, but... yeah, I am pretty awesome."
  • Littlefinger's reaction to Lancel's proclamation that the Faith Militant have effectively made everything he does in King's Landing punishable or destroyed:
    Littlefinger: Well done.
  • Before they get down to business, Cersei and Littlefinger take time to reacquaint themselves by trading insults.
    Littlefinger: House Tyrell won't tolerate this insult.
    Cersei: House Tyrell won't tolerate it? I am the insulted party, Lord Baelish. Ser Loras was promised to me, instead he chose the company of boys.
    Littlefinger: One's choice of companion is a curious thing.
    Cersei: ... Most curious. Lysa Arryn, for instance. Thoroughly repellant woman. Forgive me, I know you're still in mourning.
    Littlefinger: Lysa was - a good woman. A kind woman -
    Cersei: She was neither of those things, we both know it.
  • Olenna is back and as sassy as ever. Her opening comment while approaching King's Landing: "You can smell the shit from five miles away!"
    Cersei: Ah,yes, the infamous tart-tongued Queen of Thorns.
    Olenna: And the infamous tart, Queen Cersei.
    • The crowning moment is when Olenna tells Cersei to stop pretending that she's too busy writing to greet Olenna and how far Cersei falls from the tree. Tywin could believably pull that one because he was often enough a busy, legitimately hard worker to sell an act, while Cersei's lacklustre imitation only begs ridicule.
    • Her astonishment at the bare-faced insult is hilarious too.
      • There's also Olenna's "for God's sake" face when Cersei claims, "We [The Lannisters] have no rivals."
  • Jaime's awkward handshake with Prince Trystane, choosing to greet the guy with a backhanded move but with his natural hand. The whole scene has the whole "boyfriend meeting dad" aspect even if "uncle" Jaime has to continue to remain Myrcella's uncle. You half expect him to blurt out, "Get off my daughter!"
  • When Jaime and Bronn happen to make their move on Myrcella at the exact same time as the Sand Snakes, Bronn simply gives an aggravated: "oh, for fuck's sake!"
  • After Bronn condescendingly praises Tyene Sand with the words "You fight pretty good for a little girl," he's visibly amused by her enraged reaction as the guards have to keep the two apart.
    • The funny part is that Rosabell Sellers is genuinely quite cute as a Tyke Bomb so it tends to be pretty funny.

7 — The Gift
  • Sam losing his virginity to Gilly is as funny as it is heartwarming.
    Sam: Oh, my.
  • Tyene apparently does the "Don't you think I'm pretty?" routine a lot, judging by Obara and Nym's reactions.
    • Tyene's apparently genuine clapping for Bronn's singing and the way she stops when Obara and Nym glare at her has some great comedic timing, as well.
    • Nymeria's wordless reaction to Bronn's singing is hilarious on its own. She has her head in one hand, as if nursing a bad headache, and a look on her face like, "Please, gods, make this idiot stop."
    • For a slight meta example, this scene was also a great example of Trolling Creator. With them pulling Death by Adaptation on a number of still important book characters, and Bronn having essentially stopped being important in the books by this point (and not being in Dorne), it appeared that Bronn was about to share the fate of Ser Barristan, but nope!
    • There's also the almost Belligerent Sexual Tension way Tyene and Bronn snark at each other- especially the way Bronn trails off mid-sentence when Tyene shows him her breasts, and her satisfied expression when he finally tells her when she wants to hear.
  • Yezzan's shock at finding Dany among the spectators at the fighting pit, followed up by him making an extremely undignified sprint around the ring, hastily turning his gladiators in Dany's direction and providing last-minute stage directions for the unexpected royal performance.
    Your Grace... your future grace.
    • Yezzan muttering to one of his fighters, "stand straight. That's the fucking queen." Which Dany clearly hears and pretends not to have noticed while studying her hands in exasperation.
    • Funnily enough, the really brutal pit-fighter who takes the most guys out until Jorah makes his debut even takes off his helmet for the queen before he salutes. Bless! What a gentleman.
  • When Malko is selling Jorah, he buffs up his accomplishments. According to him, Jorah was first (really second) into the breach at the Siege of "Spyke" (Pyke) and wielded a flaming sword (done by Thoros of Myr, who was incidentally the first into the breach), and slew Khal Drogo in single combat (really Qotho).
    • Upon hearing the tale, Jorah gives Tyrion a sullen look for the embellishment, Tyrion gives him a "let's just roll with it" look.
  • Tyrion beating the shit out of a cruel overseer, much to the amusement of everyone at that slave auction.
    Yezzan: (buying Tyrion from Malko) You're right. He's funny.
    • As soon as he's bought, Tyrion immediately tries to talk Yezzan into unchaining him and Jorah and possibly paying them wages. Yezzan responds by backhanding Tyrion in the face. The way Tyrion screws up his nose in pain and indignation and inhales deeply after the smack, evidently trying not to scream and do something incredibly violent, (like headbutt his "master" in the balls), is absolutely hilarious.
  • Jaime discovers that Myrcella is as lovelorn as her father (both of them) and as headstrong as her mother, making his mission much more difficult.
    • This exchange:
    Myrcella: You look different. The last time I saw you you had... more hair.
    Jaime: And more hands.
  • Stannis starts coming on to Melisandre in his tent. Sexy is not a side of him we typically see, and the fact that he's doing this after he's just been told how slim his chances of winning are now looking makes it even more audacious.
  • The Queen of Thorns vs. The High Sparrow in a Battle of Wits.
    Lady Olenna: You there! Where would I find the High Septon or High Sparrow or whatever fool name he's got?
    The High Sparrow: It's not as good a name as The Queen of Thorns, I'll admit.
    Olenna: You should have the decency to stand when speaking to a lady.
    High Sparrow: You should have the decency to kneel before the gods.
    Olenna: Don't spar with me, little fellow.
  • Olenna Tyrell is clearly annoyed at having to meet with Littlefinger in a brothel. A wrecked and abandoned brothel, but a brothel nonetheless.
  • Cersei being finally Hoist By Her Own Petard is as satisfying as it's ironic. One of those small pleasures that puts a smirk on your face, even as it finally wipes the smirk off hers.
    • Her smile stays on even as she realizes what's going on, but her eyes darting around in fear are hilarious.
  • Alliser Thorne tells Jon Snow that his mission is reckless, foolish, and an insult to all that have died protecting the Wall. Jon politely thanks him for his honesty. They are both completely deadpan during this exchange.
  • When Stannis is informed of the desertion of the Stormcrows, he doesn't bother to express indignation, just tosses their piece away from the big board and recalls how unreliable sellswords are, all with a clear "Boy, I hate being right all the time" demeanor.
  • No one has called Daenerys "khaleesi" all season, and nobody says "khaleesi" quite like Jorah Mormont, inventor of the Khaleesi blast. After Jorah singlehandedly decks all the pit fighters and reveals himself, the very first thing he says to Dany is: "KHALEESI!"
    • Not only that, Jorah is in a close-up and says it just as men come to drag him away with a desperate look on his face. It practically sums up his entire "Ser Friendzone" reputation in the story. While still counting as a Tearjerker, of course.

8 — Hardhome
  • The first bit of verbal sparring between Daenerys and Tyrion at the start of the episode.
    Queen Daenerys Targaryen: How do I know you are who you say you are?
    Tyrion Lannister: If only I were otherwise.
    Daenerys: And if you are Tyrion Lannister, why shouldn't I kill you. To pay your family back for what it did to mine.
    Tyrion: You want revenge on the Lannisters? I killed my mother, Joanna Lannister, on the day that I was born. I killed my father, Tywin Lannister, with a bolt to the heart. I am the greatest Lannister killer of our time.
    Daenerys: So I should invite you into my service because you've killed members of your own family?
    • That scene is as funny as it is awesome. It's two of the boldest and most charismatic characters of the whole show basically telling each other to take it down a notch.
  • Seeing Cersei get repeatedly smacked on top of her head with a ladle by Septa Unella is as funny as it is satisfying.
  • Tyrion's bits of Brutal Honesty while selling his services to Daenerys.
    Daenerys: Your brother who killed my father?
    Tyrion: That's the one.
    Daenerys: Perhaps I will have you killed after all.
    Tyrion: Your queenly prerogative.
  • When Dany decides what to do about Tyrion.
    Daenerys: I'm not going to kill you.
    Tyrion: No? Banish me?
    Daenerys: No.
    Tyrion: So if I'm not going to be murdered and I'm not going to be banished -
    Daenerys: You're going to advise me.
    (Tyrion raises his wine chalice)
    Daenerys: (takes his wine away) While you can still speak in complete sentences.
    • Tyrion's aggravated reaction to yet another person depriving him of wine, nervously scratching away at his beard. And even more so because now it is a queen, and he can't defy her if she wants him sober.
  • After all the flack Daenerys got from fans for her "break the wheel" speech (before the season even premiered), it's pretty funny to see Tyrion rolling his eyes and debating her on her huge ambitions when she finally makes it.
  • Jaqen H'gar basically sums up why the House of Black and White is called the House of Black and White in his exchange with The Waif about Arya's training.
    The Waif: She is not ready.
    Jaqen H'gar: Perhaps she is, perhaps she is not.
    The Waif: And if she is not?
    Jaqen: It is all the same to the Many-Faced God.
  • The Lord of Bones was not pleased to hear Tormund has aligned with the Lord Commander of The Night's Watch, and lets him know it right away.
    Lord of Bones: You FUCKING TRAITOR!
  • Tormund beating the everloving hell out of the Lord of Bones with his own staff on their reunion is partly disturbing for its brutality, but mostly hilarious due to how abrupt it is and how little the other characters seem to care about old Rattleshirt's death.
  • During Jon's appeal to the wildlings to join forces:
    "My ancestors would spit on me if I broke bread with a crow."
    "So would mine, but fuck 'em. They're dead."
    • From the same scene, after the Thenn leader claims that Jon intends to murder all the wildlings when they're in his power, the female elder says what everyone else is thinking:
    "I fuckin' hate Thenns."
  • When Tormund is asked if he vouches for Jon, the two exchange a funny look as if saying "Do you?" and "Don't let my words go to your head, boy", and then Tormund starts his praising with a disparagement.
    Tormund: He's prettier than both my daughters.
  • Dolorous Edd is collecting some fallen dragonglass from the Wildlings hall, and finds that Wun Wun the giant is looking at the last piece. He decides to not even bother trying to get it back when the giant speaks to him in his ancient language.
    Wun Wun: The fuck you looking at?
  • Jon Snow, brave Commander of the Night's Watch, and his Sarcastic Devotee / Action Survivor Dolorous Edd's reaction to the horde of wights jumping off a cliff with the express purpose of getting right back up and turning the two of them into mincemeat? RUN. It's hilarious, in a terrifying way.
    Edd: Oh - FUUUUUUUUUCK!!!
  • During the fight between Jon Snow and the White Walker, when Jon manages to get his sword up and block the Other's attack. They both have a look of pure "what the fuck" for a moment before going back to fighting.
    • Also funny is the oh-so Badass Jon Snow's little shout of terror and surprise as he blocks the attack. He was obviously expecting the White Walker's weapon to cut straight through Longclaw, followed by himself.
  • There's something endearing about Arya embracing her oyster salesgirl persona, yelling at the top of her lungs like a seasoned market crier.
  • Qyburn and Cersei complaining about the unfair trial she's facing, especially since the Kangaroo Court tendencies in King's Landing have been around forever. Now she suddenly sees this as a problem.
    Qyburn: I hope you'll excuse me for saying it, but belief is so often the death of reason.
    Cersei: I wish you had said it sooner.

9 — The Dance of Dragons
  • Trystane's idea of mercy is having Bronn slugged in the jaw, the same way Bronn had hit him.
    Bronn: The pie looks good... (is elbow-clocked in the face by Areo Hotah a moment later)
    Doran: Perhaps some soup instead?
  • Daario and Hizdahr's banter during the first pit fight about which fighter would win. Daario's little assessment is cut short, along with the little fighter's head, and then Hizdahr puts on his best: "I told you so" face.
    • The sheer amount of punishment Hizdahr takes from all corners is tragically funny, the best kind of comedy. First, Daario implies that he's still as untrustworthy as ever and how pathetically hypocritical Loraq is when it comes to violence, next, Daenerys questions his manhood and his moral courage and then even Tyrion compares him to a poor man's Tywin and an armchair warrior, along with mocking his intelligence!
    • Just the fact that Daario takes his duties as royal-consort to the next level in clear public, brazenly practicing his Pornomancer techniques on Dany to distract her from the Great Games, her sultry, intrigued look while the sellsword brags about "beast faces" is priceless.
  • In an extremely black sense, when Hizdahr is poked full of holes by the Sons of the Harpy, Daario has a look that can be best summed up as: "Why on earth did you run out of the protective cordon, imbecile?" *winces* "Er... Sorry, for suspecting you all this time... My bad."
  • Jaime barely concealing his fatherly concern when he sees Myrcella wearing a revealing Dornish dress.
    Jaime: What a lovely dress.
    Myrcella: You don't like it?
    Jaime: You must be cold.
    Myrcella: Not at all. The Dornish climate agrees with me.
  • Doran has some darkly funny lines to Ellaria:
    Doran: For their sake, I hope you live a long and happy life. Speak to me that way again, and you won't.
    Doran: I believe in second chances. I don't believe in third chances.
    • There's something quite amusing about the oh-so-deadly Sand Snakes killing time in prison by... playing a game of slaps.
    • Even when she's being nice, Ellaria can't help but insult Jaime.
    Ellaria:(kindly) You write like a seven-year old.
  • When Arya infiltrates a brothel as an oyster girl, spying on a depraved Meryn Trant who keeps asking for younger whores, she's discovered and grabbed by one of his soldiers. She tenses, ready to fight... but it turns out the guy just wanted to buy a clam.
  • A man is debriefed by Arya:
    Arya: The thin man wasn't hungry today.
    No-one: Perhaps that is why a man is thin.
  • Lord Tyrell arrives to Braavos and meets the Iron Bank:
    • Tycho Nestoris extends his hand to Mace, who meets it with a chummy two-handed handshake. The awkwardness is not lost on Tycho.
    • We finally get to see Mace in action as Master of Coin. His attempts to cozy up to Tycho Nestoris are amazing. The banker tries to stoically hide his dislike for the unwelcome situation, but his body language betrays him several times, which Lord Tyrell completely fails to see.
    • When Tycho refuses Mace's offer of Arbor wine by claiming he doesn't partake, good ol' Mace expresses his disappointment with a prolonged and bleat-like "oooooohh."
    • Mace relates that once upon a time King Maegor tried to ban usury and wanted to cut off the hands of the usurers.
      Tycho: Most unfortunate for the glovers.
    • A banker being told to his face that his business boils down to usury. Either the word carries no negative connotations in the setting or it's just Mace being an oblivious twit as usual.
    • The hilarity culminates when Mace suddenly starts singing, apparently encouraging Tycho to join in. The look on the Iron Bankers face is absolutely brilliant, as is the brief glance he shares with an equally-confused Meryn Trant. The scene ends with Mace taking Tycho by the arm, still singing, with Tycho himself smiling with barely-restrained discomfort and attempting futilely to interrupt. It's topped only by Trant's observation that bridges into the next scene;
      Meryn Trant: Thought that old shit would never stop singing!
  • The Meereenese announcer at Deznak's Pit is a shameless master of Large Ham.
    • Better yet, the actor voiced Hawke (the player character) from Dragon Age II, well known for his incredibly Large Ham during fights (which was a very interesting contrast to his more toned voice in scenes). The character also lives in a City State that was known for their slaves and that faces great unrest. What makes this even funnier? His name is Nicholas BOULTON.
  • In an otherwise serious, awesome scene, Drogon goes from roaring into Dany's face to grinning at her like a puppy in less than a second. It looks like the massive, bloodthirsty dragon is begging for a treat.
  • Tyrion's Stealth Insult to Hizdahr. "My father would have liked you."

10 — Mother's Mercy
  • The walk of shame has some funny jabs amid the abuse.
    Onlooker: All hail the royal tits!
  • Jon's disbelief when he understands that Sam is no longer a virgin, with him repeating his name several times, completely incredulous.
    • He also wants to know how Sam managed it, since he'd just been beaten half to death. Sam's response? "Very carefully."
  • The entire sequence when Dany tries to wake up Drogon after their flight in the previous episode, and Drogon's refusal to do so. It comes off as a mother trying to rouse a lazy teenager. The fact that they are surrounded by the bones of Drogon's past consumed meals only further likens the dragon to an adolescent with an untidy room.
  • Tyrion, Daario and Jorah sitting in Dany's throne room in awkward silence. Which Tyrion, of course, breaks with his big mouth.
    Tyrion: (to both men) You love her? How could you not? Of course, it's hopeless for the both of you. A sellsword from the fighting pits, a disgraced knight. Neither one of you is fit consort for a queen. But... we always want the wrong woman.
    Daario: ... Does he always talk so much?
    Jorah: (nods miserably)
  • Tyrion makes the mistake of being a man and trying to align with Daenerys in the presence of Jorah Mormont. The Crazy Jealous Guy tendencies that Ser Barristan and Daario both got hit with come back in full swing. Though, Tyrion is far quicker to point out Jorah's hypocrisies than Barristan or Daario.
    Jorah: "We?" You're a Lannister. The queen intends to remove your family from power.
    Tyrion: And I intend to help her do it.
    Jorah: You've been here for how many days now? I've fought for her for years, since she was little more than a child.
    Tyrion: You betrayed her!
    Jorah: Careful, now-
    Tyrion: And she exiled you! Twice, I believe.
    Jorah: The second time, thanks to you.
    Tyrion: Don't blame me for your crimes, Mormont!
  • Tyrion's and Missandei's short conversation in Valyrian, with her hesitating to call him a dwarf and inter-changing it at the last second with "little man" and him declaring that he doesn't mind being called dwarf in the same language, before saying that his Valyrian is "a bit nostril".
    • Also, when Tyrion begins speaking Valyrian, Jorah looks slightly exasperated, as if he's thinking, "Of course the little bastard can speak Valyrian too!"
      • And then, Grey Worm's Death Glare reaction to being called: "the toughest man with no balls that I have ever met." By Daario.
  • The casual way Daario Naharis illustrates how limited Tyrion's abilities are when out in the wild.
    Daario: Forgive me, but why would we bring you?
    Tyrion: ... Pardon me?
    Daario: Have you ever tracked animals in the wilderness?
    Tyrion: Not precisely, but I have other skills that would be very usef -
    Daario: (nods) Can you fight?
    Tyrion: I have fought. I don't claim to be a great warrior.
    Daario: Are you good on a horse?
    Tyrion: Middling!
    Daario: So... mainly, you talk?
    Tyrion: (defensively) And drink, I've survived, so far!
  • The fact that Tyrion Lannister started out this season as a drunken exile in a shitty box and ends it in standing on a throne, in charge of another Wretched Hive.
  • Per usual, the banter between Tyrion and Varys is highly amusing, with lines like this:
    Varys: Hello, old friend. I thought we were so happy together until you abandoned me.
    • And this:
    Varys: They tell me you've already found favor with the Mother of Dragons.
    Tyrion: Well, she didn't execute me, so that's a promising start.
    • And especially this:
    Tyrion: If only I knew someone with a vast network of spies...
    Varys: If only... A grand old city, choking on violence, corruption, and deceit. Who could possibly have any experience managing such a massive ungainly beast?
    (Long Beat). Both manage to stay straight-faced)
    Tyrion: (cracks a tiny smile) I did miss you.
    Varys: (sagely) Oh, I know.
  • Melisandre tries to cozy up to Stannis when the snow starts melting, to which he turns his back so fast that his armor whacks her on the jaw.
  • Verging into Black Comedy at this point, but Stannis's stubborn persistance when he finds out that sacrificing his daughter only really resulted in half his army leaving with all their horses overnight, the suicide of his wife, and the mistress he's been counting on abandoning him, and he still insists on staying his course.
    Stannis: (realizing his chances are slim to none) Get the men into marching formation. On to Winterfell.
  • Stannis's "fuck it" reaction as he draws his sword to engage Roose Bolton's way bigger army.
  • Stannis's confused reaction upon seeing Brienne of Tarth.
    Stannis: Bolton has women fighting for him?
  • By the time Brienne shows up to take her revenge on Stannis, the man is completely out of fucks to give. He's dismissive throughout their entire encounter, and the fact that she lists Renly as the rightful king of the Seven Kingdoms provokes a very visible "oh, for fuck's sake" reaction from Stannis.
  • Pitch darker humour than the event horizon of a black hole but Ramsay cheerfully stating that it "looks like we're done here!" After the morning's massacre, as if this was his idea of a picnic. It's followed by him dispatching a wounded Baratheon soldier, then letting out a bracing sigh as if a gore-spattered battlefield is the best scent a man could absorb.
  • When Bronn is leaving, Tyene kisses him goodbye with the line "You want the good girl, but you need the bad pussy." It's so narmy that one would be excused for thinking it's a shout-out to a masterpiece by the name of Shark Attack 3: Megalodon.
    • Bronn's "This moment's going in the slideshow" expression helps.
  • The odd squeaky yelp Myranda emanates right before she hits the ground after Theon has pushed her off the battlements.
  • Arya doing her Stringy-Haired Ghost Girl impersonation in the brothel. Followed by The Glomp of Death!

    Out of Canon/Commentaries 
Behind The Scenes
  • In the series pilot, co-creators Benioff and Weiss mocking Arya's obviously dubbed-in exposition about Jaime as "our finest writing moment."
    Arya: That's Jaime Lannister, the Queen's brother.
    Benioff: Hours and hours we spent working on that.
  • Episode 2 has Lena Headey (Cersei), Nikolaj Coster-Waldeau (Jaime) and Mark Addy (Robert Baratheon) taking a moment to comment how terribly unattractive actors Kit Harrington (Jon Snow) and Richard Madden (Robb Stark) are:
    Nik: Robb Stark...
    Lena: Two... ugly men...
    Nik: Ugly, unattractive...
    Mark: Th-they're very ordinary, really.
    Lena: They're very ordinary.
    Nik: So ordinary.
    Lena: Yeah. And then putting fur around them just makes it worse.
    [Nikolaj chuckles]
  • Hearing sweet, beautiful Lena Headey cursing like a sailor in the DVD Commentary for Season 1, Episode 2. And also invoking Twincest, while discussing Cersaime.
    • Lena and Nikolaj watching the rough, uncomfortable sex scene between Dany and Drogo:
    Lena: I don't know what you can say about that.
    • And later during the Dany/Doreah Les Yay scene.
    Doreah: Men like what they've never had. And the Dothraki take slaves like a hound taking a bitch.
    Lena: Wwwow...
    • The story of how Kit Harrington and John Bradley got stuck in the Wall's elevator for an hour, with an ever-growing number of people gathering below them.
  • Michelle Fairley (Catelyn) and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (Jaime) bantering in this commentary, and having... uh... difficulties to pronounce "Jaqen".
    • From Nikolaj Coster-Waldeau and Michelle Fairley's commentary, Coster-Waldeau points out how a pause in Robb and Talisa's sex scene could be interpreted as Robb having finished very quickly, forcing Fairley to defend her "son's" sexual prowess.
    • During the build-up to Robb's sex scene, when he offers Talisa wine:
    Michelle Fairley: "He's gonna get her drunk and have his way."
    Nikolaj Coster-Waldau: "King in the North!"
  • Episode 3's commentary starts with... children singing along with the main theme. Only to cut themselves off and introduce themselves as Maisie Williams, Sophie Turner and Isaac Hempstead-Wright. And then go right back to singing along with the main theme.
    • Even better, they start mimicking as soon as the static of the HBO title screen pops up before the opening titles proper.
  • Last season, we had Maisie Williams (Arya), Sophie Turner (Sansa) and Isaac Hempstead-Wright (Bran) singing along to the opening theme of the show; this season they've matured and decided to go one better... and beat-box it. And they actually do a very good job!
    • George R.R. Martin's obsession with the main characters not wearing helmets in the "Blackwater" commentary. He starts on it as soon as the battle begins and refuses to let it go for the rest of the episode.
    • The entirety of Alfie Allen and Gemma Whalen's commentary on "The Night Lands". Two very goofy people who hold nothing about the show sacred, feeling free to let loose.
      • But especially whenever Theon is dealing with his family, and they instantly both start redubbing the scene as stroppy teenagers.
      • And, during the scene where Gendry reveals that he knows Arya is a girl.
        Gemma: Take your cock out... not you, Alf. Put it away.
    • Vitriolic Best Buds Liam Cunningham and Carice Van Houten have quite a few moments, like Carice recounting her numerous animal phobias, and their discussion of inherently funny lines.
      • During the infamous ending 'shadow' scene, they're discussing Liam's eagerness to see Carice's fake pregnancy and his sheer embarrassment after mistaking her real breasts for fake ones, thinking they were using a full-body prosthetic.
        Liam: Then what did you show them to me for?!
    • Lena Headey referring to Liam Cunningham as a "sexy badger" due to the coloring of his beard in the second Blackwater commentary.
    • In the commentary for "A Golden Crown", Harry Lloyd talking about his favourite lines from various character and his embarrassment after sshing everyone for Mark Addy's, only for the scene to then have Robert slap Cersei hard across the face without saying a word;
      Emilia: That is your favourite line?!
      Harry: No, no! This next line here!
    • Discussing the strong women on the show, Alan Taylor asks Emilia Clarke if she's worried about the competition.
      Emilia: Oh, honey, I've got dragons. I'm going to win.
    • From episode 10, during Brienne's execution of the northerners...
      Emilia: For women everywhere!
    • In the Blackwater commentary, Peter Dinklage mentioning his grandmother mishearing him and thinking he'd won the part of "Interior Bannisters".
  • The revelation that Richard Madden won the Most Stylish Man In Scotland award, and that Kit Harrington has never let him forget it.
  • When John Bradley (Samwell Tarly) is asked what his house sigil and motto would be, he replies thusly:
    The motto would probably be 'Oh for god's sake. ' D'you know sometimes when you get an ice lolly?... And you wait too long to eat it and it melts and it falls off the stick? The disappointment that that encapsulates would suit 'Oh for god's sake' quite perfectly. Although, to go into battle with that on a banner, you've lost the battle already, psychologically, I think.
    • In a Season 2 interview, Kit Harington recalls that one of the funniest scenes the Iceland filming crew got was when they literally filmed John Bradley's face freezing up slowly "into a block of ice".
    Kit: He got... icicles on his little eyelashes.
    Emilia and Lena: Aww...
  • When Charles Dance is asked on The Jonathan Ross Show to introduce his character, he says:
    My name is Tywin Lannister and I am a kindly, benevolent father of a dysfunctional family.
    • And then Charles proceed to complain how the show's sex scenes have no foreplay much to his co-stars Rose Leslie and Kit Harrington's laughter.
    • Hearing the mighty Lord Tywin Lannister say things like "Rumpy-pumpy" and "Doggy fashion".
  • Before filming the Season 2 finale, the crew gave Alfie Allen a fake script saying that Theon would be killed. To their disappointment, instead of getting upset, he was willing to go along with it. It wasn't until he read a part about Theon rising as a wight that he realized they were pulling a prank on him.
    • The scene itself was written so that Bran would kill Theon while riding on Hodor, which makes it even more hilarious.
  • When George R. R. Martin was asked to name Westeros' Sexiest Man Alive, his reply was:
    "If you were a gay guy, you might say Loras Tyrell was the sexiest man alive. If you were a straight woman, well again you might say Loras Tyrell! (laughs)
  • The look of utter mortification that Maisie Williams has after realising she's just openly admitted to thinking that Joe Dempsie as Gendry would probably win the title of "Sexiest Man in Westeros".
    • In the same vid, when asked what her house sigil and motto would be, she picked a tortoise as the animal because of their hard shell. And the motto? Go hard, or go home!
  • Bryan Cogman admitting that Selyse keeping her stillborn sons in jars was just a random idea he had in the middle of the night that he put in the "Kissed by Fire" script as a joke, never expecting the other crew members would actually go for it.
  • When HBO released a promo still of Rickon for Series 3, Art Parkinson joked on Twitter about how even he had to run and check that he'd actually been in it?!
  • The bear from "The Bear and the Maiden Fair" was named Bart.
    • And gets a single credit screen all to himself (he's actually the second movie star bear to have the name, born shortly after the death of the first).
    • While filming the bear's scenes, the crew kept shouting "nice bear!" and playing country music to not upset it.
  • This outtake picture from TV Guide has a You Taste Delicious moment where Lena Headley is licking the side of Peter Dinklage's face, with Nikolaj looking on in mock horror.
  • In order to not give anything away, the HBO blurb for "Second Sons" describes the White Walker that attacks Sam and Gilly as "an older gentleman."
  • For the book readers with a dark sense of humor, the reactions of non readers to the red wedding.
  • More from GRRM's appearance on Conan: he talks about growing up in New Jersey, looking out across the river and seeing this glittering city and wondering just what kind of people lived there and what kind of adventures there were to be had. Of course what he was seeing was Staten Island, much to everyone's (including grown-up Martin himself) amusement.
  • Lord Tywin Lannister reads Fifty Shades of Grey.
  • In his interviews, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau seems to have difficulty remembering he isn't Jaime Lannister as he spends most of them either defending or gushing over him.
  • Emilia Clarke recounting her first meeting with Jason Momoa:
    Our first ever meeting in the lobby of a Belfast hotel did start by him rugby tackling me to the floor yelling "WIFEY!!"
  • The ComicCon "In Memoriam" video can be oddly funny at parts. Like when they show "Beric Dondarrion ... for the 6th time" (complete with him resurrecting and saying "Not today"), rapidly raising counts of "Baratheon soldier" in Blackwater, the fact that dull witted and unspeakably violent monster Gregor Clegane named his horse "Chateaubriand", or just flashing random characters so fast you can barely see with completely unfitting music.
    • The "In Memoriam" coffee table book would an utter downer if not for the multiple appearances of Beric Dondarrion with the same text written in his third page as it was in his first.
  • Members of the cast talk about their horrified reactions to the Red Wedding... then comes Charles Dance, almost in-character, completely deadpan, and just points out that Tywin did what he had to do.
  • George RR Martin spoils Season 4.
  • Finn Jones and Oona Chaplin try their darndest to eat a whole, raw onion in less than 42 seconds.
  • When Iwan Rheon was being asked about the best of playing Ramsay, he responded that it was torturing Theon, which caused the reporter to ask how is it to torture Alfie Allen. Rheon says that it is fiction, and that Allen still has a penis.
  • John Bradley, Finn Jones and Kristian Nairn are interviewed (and later act in a silly GoT parody) on ''Sarah Millican''.
  • Watch Gethin Anthony, Finn Jones, Gemma Whelan and Daniel Portman sing the GoT opening theme at the 2013 RingCon.
    • The aforementioned 4 actors also performed a parody of Renly's death scene which included Loras. After the scene is finished, Gethin's facial expression as he's getting up pretty much says, "I totally didn't expect that Finn would kiss me on the mouth!"
  • George Martin discovering that the inevitable XXX-rated parody had shied away from portraying Brother-Sister Incest, so he now has a TV series that's dirtier than its porn version.
  • Throughout several interviews and pieces of promotional material, Jason Momoa simply refuses to accept that his character has been killed off. At one point he crashes a Comic Con, shouts, "I'm not dead, George!" and plants a big one on Emilia Clarke.
  • When asked about whether or not the game would have sex scenes in it, Telltale Games said "There are sex scenes in Game of Thrones?".
  • #RoastJoffrey: An entire event dedicated to taking the piss out of Joffrey. Highlights include:
    "Father's Day must put him in a pickle."
  • The Season 4 video Foreshadowing has some good bits, like Kit Harington talking about the difficulty of treating a "big green dummy" like it's your lifelong pet, Gwendoline Christie's Evil Laugh, and, this troper's personal favorite, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau and Peter Dinklage doing a dance number during Tyrion's trial.
  • On the Season 3 commentaries, Gwendoline Christie's shock and grief at learning that, due to a broken ankle, Kit Harrington had to use a butt double in "Kissed By Fire".
    • Followed by an extremely prolonged discussion of Richard Madden's cleavage.
    • Bryan Cogman claims that he'd intended to play Maester Pylos before the character was Adapted Out.
    • Vanessa Taylor repeatedly ribbing Catelyn for constantly crying throughout Season Three.
    • Kit talking about how he "hugged" Rose off the Wall.
    • Emilia Clarke on what it was like watching Season One with her parents. "Dad, you need to go make another cup of coffee. Now, now, now, please."
    • Michelle Fairley relates how she ran into Natalia Tena on their shared last day on the season, and Tena excitedly (and rather tactlessly, given what Fairley had spent the past week filming) proclaimed that she hadn't gotten a farewell basket from the producers, meaning she would be coming back.
    • Iwan Rheon claims he has the map from the credits tattooed on his ass. Plus, cheerfully calling out to his dad whenever Roose is onscreen.
    • George RR Martin explains that the Season Three scripts featured a lot of scenes being swapped around between episodes, which makes him quite happy as he's able to talk about how great the writing in "his" episode is without feeling awkward about praising his own work.
    • When Maester Aemon appears, Iwan says to Emilia "He's related to you, right?" referring to Aemon being Dany's great-uncle. Iain Glen is left utterly confused, thinking he's talking about the actors.
    • Martin insists a little too strongly that the scene where Theon is castrated was taken from another episode's script, and he had nothing to do with the entire storyline, which rings pretty hollow considering he wrote the books in the first place.
  • The Season 3 History and Lore video on Robert's Rebellion, which features some catty bickering between Varys and Littlefinger, all done in the same dead serious tone as the other H&L videos.
    • The Blackfish also gets in some good snark during his videos on the Riverlands and House Tully.
    (About the family sigil) The trout, that most terrifying of fish, especially when it leaps out of the water. I suppose you don't have many options when you live in the Riverlands.
    (About making alliances through marriage) Our trout has swum up so many rivers over the centuries and leapt onto so many plates that it's a wonder that half the realm's sigils don't have fins by now.
    If Westeros isn't careful, pretty soon our people will grow some sense and abandon this place for a safer realm... like the Dothraki Sea.
    "The King eats, and The Hand takes the shit." The same is true of the Riverlands: "The Seven Kingdoms piss, and the Riverlands change clothes."
    • Thoros remarking that his heroic charge on the Greyjoys was due to him desperately needing to piss, and calling the War of the Five Kings "those brats squabbling over the world's pointiest chair."
  • Gethin Anthony revealed at the 2014 EM-Con GoT panel that he wrote Renly/Loras fanfiction to help him understand the characters and their relationship better, but judging by the audience's amused reaction, some dirty-minded fans were evidently hoping that he had composed pure smut. Even Kristian Nairn's face turned beet red when he realized what the crowd were chuckling at. Gethin's expression could be read as, "Damn, I should've expected that the R/L shippers would twist my words in that way."
    Gethin: As preparation for the second series, I wrote myself a little short story about what Loras and Renly did between the seasons, and it's all — (Audience bursts into laughter, including one loud wolf whistle.)
    • At the same convention, Gethin also spoke of how he annoyed Jack Gleeson on set by sending him numerous notes as his Uncle Renly admonishing his nephew's bad behaviour. Jack's response to Gethin's one-time gift of a Jelly Baby is appropriately Joffrey-like.
    Gethin: I gave young Jack Gleeson a present once, and he sent it back, because on set I would write him little notes from Uncle Renly telling him to stop being a naughty boy. And I sent him a Jelly Baby as a gift to his trailer with a little note telling him what he should be doing, and he sent it back with the head bitten off.
    • Gethin recounts the time Sean Bean laughed at him after he got drenched by the latter's car on an especially rainy day.
      Gethin: It wasn't funny necessarily for me, but someone got a kick out of it. I was fully dressed up in my lovely little outfit from Season 1 and it was rainy outside. The costume department very kindly gave me an umbrella, "Be careful." "Of course, I'll just skip from my trailer to the studio, so it's only about a 5-minute walk." So I'm walking over and it's really raining cats and dogs, I'm keeping it all protected, and then this big car — a Jag — just swooshed around the corner and nails me completely with a puddle! It splashes all over me, and I just stood there going, "What the...?" As I stood there soaking, the driver [...] was all, "Gethin, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry!" and Sean Bean gets out of the back and goes "Heh, that was funny that!"
  • Finn Jones was entertainingly wacky and hyperactive during this Season 4 NYC premiere red carpet interview, and many fans even suspected that he was high as a kite and/or drunk at the time (although the actor would later deny that he was inebriated in any way). Some have suggested that Finn should host next year's event, as he's much more fun and dynamic than the reporter from Facebook Live.
    Interviewer: Maybe Loras can be the Father of Unicorns. We have a Mother of Dragons.
    Finn: We can get Renly back from the dead, and we can do that "thing," and make some unicorns.
    • Here's another interview from the same event where Finn discusses unicorns (again) and his "sword."
      Interviewer: If you had a sword, what would you name it?
      Finn: Oh wow, is this a penis question? Um, if I had sword... No, all I can think about is my dick! Sword, sword, sword, sword, if I had a sword... Uh, I don't know, all I can think about is my penis.
  • In a red-carpet interview, Indira Varma was asked who she would "ship" herself with in Game of Thrones universe, her reply? "The Mountain. You know, for the size."
  • Kit Harrington claims that a girl once went up to him in a bar and said that he looked like Jon Snow. His response to this was to say "well, I am". She simply said "he's taller than you are".
  • The entire Long Story Short, a short feature about the making of Game of Thrones with D.B. Weiss and David Benioff being interviewed and Charles Dance as the narrator.
    Charles Dance: I'm Charles Dance. They thought I would make a good narrator.
    D.B. Weiss: Mostly because we're terrified of him. You don't want a call from Charles Dance in the middle of the night.
    Charles Dance: [Close-up to a photo of Dance with thunder striking] Indeed!
  • After The Mountain and the Viper aired, Pedro Pascal had one word to say on Twitter.
    • The day after that, he said this:
      I shit you not, I can't get rid of this headache.
      • By the look of things, he's been waiting for this episode for a long time.
    • His proposal for Oberyn's funeral.
  • Loras gets his revenge on Joffrey for the latter's homophobic depiction of Renly at the royal wedding feast.
  • The roundtable discussion with actors who were killed off in Season 4 has all of them sharing how they learned it would happen.
    • In Charles Dance's case, it was from a fan who didn't realize he hadn't read the books and described the entire scene (at Dance's own request once he found out it would happen).
    • Thomas Brodie-Sangster got to his death scene, knowing full well that Jojen was still alive in the books, and after Jojen getting stabbed he figured Meera would save him. Then Meera gave him a Mercy Kill instead, and he figured he could at least come back next season as a Wight. Then the Child of the Forest blew up his body with a "Molotov Cocktail."
  • In the Season 4 commentaries, Alex Graves reveals that the first attempt to shoot Joffrey's death was ruined by the actors all being a bit punchy after spending so long filming the wedding scene, so that they all cracked up irretrievably after Jack Gleeson's delivery of "The pie is dry."
  • From Sophie Turner and Maisie Williams' commentary on "First of His Name":
    • This season their performance of the credits is with interpretive dance, ie spinning around on their chairs.
    • Maisie notes how doing walking scenes with Rory McCann can get tricky because his strides are so much longer.
    • Sophie reveals that Kate Dickie was actually standing off-camera making the orgasm sounds for her to react to, and the scene we get is the only take where she didn't laugh.
      • She also had to eat fifty lemon cakes during all of those takes, and unlike Sansa, she hates lemon cakes.
    • The crew wasn't able to bring horses to Iceland and had to make do with ponies, causing some issues with their being way too small for Rory.
    • Maisie managed to hit herself in the eye with Needle while trying to stab Sandor.
    • They suspect Kit Harrington would look like one of the Jackson Five if he cut his hair.
  • Bryan Cogman points out in the commentary for "The Laws of Gods and Men" that his sigil in the credits is a vomiting Maester, thanks to an incident Dan and Dave happened to witness.
  • In the "Mockingbird" commentary, Aiden Gillen sings "You're the One That I Want" while Kate Dickie makes orgasm noises.
  • In the months leading up to Season 5, there were persistent rumors that Charles Dance had filmed more for the show, leading to tons of speculation about whether there would be flashbacks, or even if Tywin wasn't actually dead. Turns out it was to play his corpse.
  • Peter Dinklage, Maisie Williams, Kit Harington, and Emilia Clarke try to sum up the first four seasons of Game of Thrones in thirty seconds.
    Kit Harington: Ned gets killed, dragons get hatched. Sex, not necessarily loving. Jon Snow progressively gets more upset.
    Emilia Clarke: Blood, death, boobs. Blood, death, boobs. Dragons! Daenarys Wins!
    Maisie Williams: Death, death, death, revenge, death, death, death, revenge, death, and revenge.
    Peter Dinklage: Tyrion is a science chemistry teacher at a high school, he finds this guy Jesse Pinkman and they get a Winnebago and then they get involved with some fried chicken place.
  • Ian McElhinney, who has read the books, realized by himself that his character ( Ser Barristan) was written out when he noticed that his shooting schedule for Season 5 was too thin considering all the stuff his book counterpart does. He reflects about it with a final piece of sage advide: "It proves you should probably not read the books."
  • Aimee Richardson's reaction to Myrcella being recast.
  • Kerry Ingram congratulates Liam Cunningham on his nameday: "Happy birthday niggit"