In the manga during the chapters involving Greed, Ed has to go to Southern HQ for his annual State Alchemist report. Fuhrer Bradley happens to be there and despite Ed having to do a bunch of paperwork because it's late, he just stamps it straight away and laughs.
When Barry The Chopper tries to stalk Riza, Riza's reaction... is to fire a revolver to him. Several times. When protesting about "why didn't you freak out?!", she responds that she's already used to seeing someone like him (Al). In no time, he falls in love with her.
Ed, after being thoroughly beaten up by Ling's bodyguards and breaking off his automail arm to finally beat Lan Fan, goes back to Garfiel's place to get patched up. When he discovers Ling sitting at the table (eating again), Ed stares at him for a beat, then uses his own broken-off arm as a club to hit Ling.
In episode 29, Ed takes a shower before being escorted to Wrath, and has just gotten out when Envy decides that he's been taking too long. Envy bursts in to yell at him...and gets a full view of Ed's naked body. There's stunned silence for a second - and then both of them scream at the top of their lungs.
Any time Ed transmutes something to make it more "badass."
Ed transforming a car into what looks like a Chinese New Years dragon to hide from the military.
What makes it funnier is that Ed thinks it looks fashionable and inconspicuous!
"I've got your soul, brother!", Al says after Winry hits Ed in the head with her wrench.
Ed: "Well, you see... there's... always a chance my arm could get broken... or even... (small voice) destroyed..."
Winry:(holding a bloody wrench) "Are you planning on destroying it?!"
Then there's the scene where Armstrong fights one of Greed's subordinates, who attacks him with a giant hammer. He counters the hammer with a punch, using alchemy to turn the hammerhead into a small statue of himself in a body building pose.
Mustang's expression in Episode 31 after Edward tells him "Don't you go worrying the lieutenant either!" Yes, Roy — Everyone Can See It!
Al's confrontation with Barry the Chopper:
Barry: "Fine! But even if you don't know who I am, shouldn't you be at least a little scared [at his Animated Armor]? Shouldn't you be going "Aaaaah!" or "What happened to your body?!" or something!"
In the anime, apparently Yoki had a few adventures before stumbling onto the Ishvalan camp. The black and white silent film reel style was funny enough, but the funniest is that he tried to rob the Armstrong mansion. He first runs into Alex's two hulking sisters, running away from them in fright before coming across Katherine, the cutesy moe one — fans who watched Episode 37 of the first anime know what's coming. He goes all 'awww' before she shrieks and hurls a piano at him!
Even funnier is his reaction to the fact that not only does nobody remember the part of his story that involves the Elrics, but nobody is even listening to him as he tells his heart-wrenching story.
And near the end of the anime, after the main characters have been battling Pride to a standstill, Yoki manages runs it over with a car. His reaction is priceless: "I did it! I gave the strongest homunculus a beatdown!"
Father Armstrong: "How about statues? They're big and strong!" * Olivier throws Alex bodily into the fountain they're walking past, half-drowning him, before pulling him out and dragging him behind her back up the stairs into the house* Alex: *Big "NO!"* Catherine:(completely ignoring it) "If they get statues, I want one too~!"
And there's this:
Alex: "Are you really trying to kill me?" Olivier: "What tipped you off, moron?"
One light-novel gives subtle hints to a parental relationship between Roy and Ed. One instance where Ed tries to get Roy's attention by pretending to be his son while said Colonel was flirting with two other women on a train. This later escalates to the point where he falsely hints to some people at an inn that he had a father in the military as to not reveal himself as a military officer. When Ed, of all people, gets kidnapped, the culprits send a message to Roy, saying that his son is being held captive. When the rest of his staff finds out, Hilarity Ensues when they start getting silly ideas about Roy taking one of his dates a bit TOO far.
Another light-novel funny moment happens when Ed tries to withdraw anything from his bank account to pay a restaurant bill, only to find he doesn't have access to it. He then calls Roy, who gives him a mission, and then admits that he was the one who closed Ed off from his bank account, only for the sake of trying to talk to Ed.
In the very same novel the team comes to rescue Ed. Who in the meantime has transmuted a building. Roy's remark on this: This looks like a piece of art. BAD art.
Same context: Al and Roy sneaking through the building. And Al tries to draw his brother out by WHISPERING: "Hey, shorty!" On the second attempt it works... on the first, when it doesn't, Al merely muses that Edward must be on another floor. This is hilarious itself, but it gets leveled up per 100% when it comes out Al is pretty damn right.
Same novel: The team finds out WHO was the supposed abducted son. Edward. Now, start they to worry about the kid? Nope.
Takes guts to take him. Shall we hold a service?
Even Al worries more about the safety of the abductors than for his own brother. And—as a few things in the novel—it gets even more hilarious when it turns out they were right.
Some of the yonkoma in the volume omakes can be gut-busting hilarious:
Al becomes "Hero for a Day", and quickly discovers how The Hero is very often on the receiving end of Fanservice, which he calls "Non-stop sexy times." Ed has to then remind him that The Hero is also often on the receiving end of grievous injuries.
Another promotes the first Wii game, whereupon Roy witnesses a horde of women swooning over Identical Stranger Prince Cladio of Aerugo before the narrator mentions that "When playing as Mustang, you can also spontaneously combust!".
One that arguably comes across even funnier in the anime: Ed is in a hospital bed trying to tell Winry that despite his seeming affability, she shouldn't trust Kimblee. So, he starts saying that during his conversation with Hawkeye, he learned of the terrible things Kimblee did in Ishval. The funny part comes in because Ed then remembers the other thing that came out during that conversation—Riza commenting on his love for Winry. So, Ed gets distracted and to steady his mind, starts randomly spouting the periodic table of elements like the Black Speech.
Episode 46: After a double-meaning conversation about how "you could hide a whole battalion here", Roy uses some flowers given to Olivier to conceal a note telling her that Selim Bradley is a homunculus. This leads to this exchange:
Olivier: "Hyacinths." Roy: "You know what they represent? Those hyacinths—know what they mean?" Olivier: "I don't." Roy:(giant dorky smile) "They represent ladylike charm~!" Olivier: "GET OFF MY PROPERTY!" Roy: "I thought you'd like them..."
Episode 5: Ed having met Scar for the first time and running for his life "What's this about! Making enemies is something I've never... really avoided... but that's no reason for someone to try and kill me!"
One translation went like this: "I haven't done anything bad! (Beat) Okay maybe I did BUT not enough to get killed over!"
Darius and Heinkel pretending to take Ed "hostage" when their hiding place at a local clinic is unexpectedly found by soldiers, in an attempt to bluff their way past the other group. Ed spends the entire time blankly chewing on a piece of bread until they called him short while the chimeras haul him around like a slab of meat.
In the manga, one of the soldiers starts to cry when he thinks that they've taken an innocent kid hostage.
Then he basically kidnaps Winry into his daughter's birthday party.
Minutes later, poor Winry witnesses Hughes pulling a gun on a few of his daughter Elicia's male friends.
Episode 52: Alphonse has been trapped by Pride, who launches a shadow spear at Marcoh. Who comes to the rescue by ramming Pride with a car? Yoki, who is sobbing in fear.
Yoki: "I did something! I did something!"
Another one: A bunch of guys working at Central Radio pretending to be hostages for the benefit of Central Command so that Mustang and company can broadcast an interview with Mrs. Bradley. Their boss is sitting at his desk, twirling the phone cord around his finger, saying how "They have guns to our heads and said they're going to shoot us if we try to stop the broadcast" while his entire staff stands around and cracks up. And when they ask to speak to Roy, he yells, "No, no! Please, don't hurt me!" before hanging up.
Episode 43: Envy reacting to the "Landmines that only respond to Homunculi" note Actually May's alkahestry made to look like there are landmines. with all the spikes, fists, and giant pointed fingers. It's awesome and hilarious.
Envy: (being flung up into the air)WHAT the HELL?!
Pretty much everything involving Envy in that episode, especially when his true TRUE form comes out. And Zampano shaking the jar with a tiny slug!Envy in it.
Envy being reduced to Sleep Mode Size tries to get away by fusing with Yoki and using him as hostage. Nobody is impressed but Scar's reaction is the best:
Yoki: "Scar! You're my friend, aren't you?!" (Scar looks the other way)
Yoki: "LOOK AT ME YOU TRAITOR!"
The way Mustang avoids getting hit in the manga after he goes blind. The other characters literally pick him up and throw him out of the way.
After the commander from Drachma realizes he gets a quick Oh Crap face before being hit by artillery. His hat floats to the ground, only to be hit by another shell.
Barry the Chopper telephones Roy with information about Maria Ross, not realizing that Roy's office phone is tapped. Roy avoids suspicion by pretending that "Bunny" is one of his many girlfriends. Barry catches on and starts acting like the most Sickeningly Sweet girlfriend imaginable, with lines like "your widdle Bunnykins just had to talk to you" and "I wuv yuuuu!" Then Roy hangs up so he can continue the conversation from the phone booth outside, and Barry just stares at the phone waiting while Fuery just looks on in horror. What sells the scene is that Barry never changes his expression from a goofy grin, though the following dialogue makes it clear he was annoyed at having to act like that.
And the following bit:
Roy: "We'll say that Falman has been taken hostage by a manic psycho. (SMASH) Hey, what was that?"
Barry: "I didn't want to explain everything to [Falman], so I K-O ed him."
Ed's Wacky Marriage Proposal to Winry in Chapter 108 is adorably hilarious. The total alchemy nerd he is, he tries to use Equivalent Exchangeto propose to her. He used Magi Babble to propose to his girlfriend. Winry's expression when she realizes this is priceless.
Ed: "Its Equivalent Exchange. I'll give you half of my life... So give me half of yours!"
Winry's reaction when she realizes that she has very sappily accepted his proposal is no less hilarious. She babbles for about thirty seconds about all the possible percentages of her life she could give Ed.
Shao May's pyramid of importance after realizing Al isn't bothered by her teeth. At the top: Al. The next level: Shao May and May Chang. Then: Scar. Next: Amoebae and other single cell organisms. At the bottom: Ed and Yoki.
Olivier: "Several years ago, before I came here, there was rumor of a strange woman stealing food from the fortress..."
And we see exactly what went on as an OVA!
The epic orchestral music in Episode 45 during the fight between Alex and Olivier.
That scene counts with or without the music.
The BGM track is called Battle Scherzo, and anytime it plays, a CMOA, which that scene doubles as, is assured.
Pretty much anytime Armstrong isn't fighting. You gotta love his bishonen sparkles. Armstrong's catch phrase "This has been passed down through the Armstrong family!" is funny every time.
A surprisingly funny if not gory moment when Sloth squashes one of the treacherous generals into the floor with his hand, and Olivier thanks him for it.
Episode 55: Alex and Olivier's reactions to Izumi throwing Sloth like it was nothing. EspeciallyOlivier's reaction.
Just after the second Greed has possessed Ling, he and Wrath have a conversation. Wrath makes a derisive comment toward humanity, and Ling suddenly regains control of his body for a second and shouts "DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE HUMANS!" This on its own is not funny. What is funny is Wrath's 0_0 expression right afterward. For someone who's usually pretty serious, that was golden.
A similar thing happened when he and Gluttony are pursuing Ling and Lan Fan. Wrath orders Gluttony to go take care of Scar; Gluttony complains, saying that he "likes the girl more". Wrath is obviously surprised... and then Gluttony explains that he considers girls a delicacy. Wrath's answer is an irritated "Move and go search for Scar".
Gluttony's One-Winged Angel form manages to eat Mustang's fire blast attack, complete with a little belch. His reaction, along with the Elric's, is priceless.
(Gluttony resumes tearing up the surroundings, and everyone runs for their lives)
Ed: Hey, That worked well!!
Roy: Think you can do better!? Be my guest!!
Al: Or we could just leave you behind, Colonel, You're the one he really wants!!
When Ross and Brosh realize Ed and Al escaped their room to go to the 5th Laboratory they frantically chase after them because, if they don't, Major Armstrong will take off his shirt and yell at them.
During one of Armstrong's famous shirtless scenes:
"Did he really have to remove his shirt?"
"Are you surprised? He's clearly insane."
One almost immediately before Mustang vs. Envy: Envy is chasing May through the Homunculus base, and May throws down a bunch of kunai to create an alkahestry circle. Envy tries to stop but can't, and he's blasted through the floor.
Almost all of the second OVA. Ed and Al really don't want to visit Winry with busted automail, but then Ed sees a jewelery shop...
Winry: "How could you ruin it so much in such short amount of time?"
Winry:(Disappointed) "Don't you "hahaha" me. (Charging with wrench) And you never even give us even a single phone call!"
Ed:(Full counter attack face and holding out the earrings) "They're gifts, take them!"
Winry:(Stops in her tracks) "Well, I guess you can't help it."
Ed & Al:(Wide evil grin) "The souvenir plan is a success!"
Fuhrer Mustang vs. Fuhrer Olivier: During one of the manga yonkomas, the men were discussing whether Mustang or Olivier would eventually be elected the next Fuhrer. Despite Olivier's superior connections and status, the men were firmly supportive of Mustang due to his Mini Skirt Uniform policy... that is, until Olivier announces that, if it helps with the work efficiency, she also has no objections against the Mini Skirt Uniform policy. Olivier's popularity ranking immediately goes through the roof.
Barry the Chopper's question "How many people get to cut up their own bodies" (not a direct quote), laughs manically and, when he is refused permission to do so, says something like "Hey, it's my body! I can do what I want with it!"
The English dub of Episode 45 has this little gem, where Ed agrees to work for Greed, to the chagrin of Darius and Heinkel.
Greed: "I don't wanna hear any regrets." Ed: "Gimme a break! I've already got a million regrets! What's one more?" Darius & Heinkel:(deadpan) "A million and one."
In Chapter 76, Ed transmutes a suit of armor identical to Al's to disguise one of the Briggs soldiers in order to keep Kimblee from finding out Al is missing. Said soldier's painfully awkward attempts to move around in the clunky suit make Kimblee more than a little suspicious.
In the manga, after Winry leaves Briggs to go along with Ed and Al, we cut to the soldiers of Briggs, who are less than happy about her being gone:
Soldier 1: "Winry's gone..."
Soldier 2: "Our precious female resource..."
Soldier 3: "I miss her charms..."
Soldier 4: "She was the flower of our fort..."
Briggs Doctor: "Our boss is female too, remember?"
Soldier 5: "She's too scary to be a woman!"
In Episode 14 of the 4-Koma Theater, we get this:
Roy Mustang: "When we're alone, the Lieutenant calls me cutie pretty lovely lighter!" (gets shot twice)
It's also funny in the English dub where he says "cutie pretty lovely sexy hunky manly Roy!"
In Episode 46, Winry returns home and begins changing, and, once she pulls her shirt off up to the underboob, realizes there's a paralyzed from shock Ed in the corner of the room, her reaction was priceless.
It gets better, if you can believe that.
Briggs Men:(burst in with guns) "Hey! What's the matter?"
Briggs Soldier: "When did Edward Elric get here?"
Chimera Soldiers:(appear with guns) "Drop your guns!"
Winry's Dog:(bites Chimera on the ass)
Greed:(pulls dog away) "What the hell's going on here?"
Briggs Soldier: "Wait, you guys are Kimblee's men, aren't you?!"
Chimera Soldiers: "Hey, I know you two. You guys are from Briggs!"
Briggs Soldier: "You guys have been following us all this time?!"
Winry's Dog:(continues to bark at Greed, whose face is screaming FML)
Winry: "Okay, Ed. You want to tell me what's going on here?"
Ed: "Looks like a cautionary tale about guns."
Winry: "Don't be a smartass, tell me why you're in my room!"
Ed: "I just wanted someplace private to eat my sandwich!"
*argument continues in background*
Winry:(twitching) "Get OUT OF MY ROOM!!!" (smashes everybody out the door with a wrench)
And Greed crossing his arms even as he's flying out of the room, with that expression still on his face.
It's a Call Back to an earlier funny moment. Specifically, when Ed comes back to the hotel after Al fought with Lust.
Ed: "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS THING?!? Al! You are all broken up! AAAARRRGGH!!!"
Ed: "In what kind of trouble you put yourself on while I was away?! And WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING HERE?!?"
And Lan Fan is eating too!
Episode 53: The Briggs soldiers are invading Central Command. One of the higher-ups inside says it would be impossible for them to break through; "They'd have to have a tank!" Then large weapons fire is heard. He looks through a telescope; cue tank.
In the dub of Episode 56, there's this little exchange between Greed and Fu after the latter's Big Damn Heroes moment:
Greed: "Thanks for the help. Really saved my ass." Fu: "I wasn't trying to "save your ass." I was saving the body of the young lord." Greed: "Well, it's the same ass."
The exchange between Greed and Ling, as the latter is about to become the former.
Greed: "BWHAHAHAHAHAHA~ What the hell is a brat doing here? Oh well. Let me have your body. I'll put it to good use."
Ling: "Fine... it's all yours!"
Ling: "I'm saying that I'll accept you!"
Greed: "Wouldn't people normally be against it?"
When Ed gets pelted in the face by a snowball that Al throws, in a flashback. Also, when Roy gets a face full of water in the very first episode, his expression is priceless.
A subordinate is getting reprimanded by Kimblee for losing track of Winry. He turns towards the camera and sticks his tongue out after apologizing.
In the manga, Ed calls Winry to get his automail repaired after a run-in with the homunculi and Brosh asks him if he's calling his girlfriend. Ed gets so incensed by this proposition that his yelling reopens his wounds."WHAT GIRLFRIEND!!!!" There a reason that scene is the trope image.
Episode 6. Armstrong, the Elrics and Dr. Marcoh's first encounter. (Before it went serious, that is.)
Armstrong: "WOULD YOU PLEASE CALM DOWN?!" (throws a huge box at his head. Not just ANY box, it's the one where Al is stored in.)
In regards to Al, seeing him tucked into that box and in the storage wagon (surrounded by dozens of sheep) was funny as hell.
Also, Al's traumatized shock, as for the first time since he was transmuted, he was treated like a luggage box.
What does it for this is the exchange that immediately follows:
Armstrong: "I thought he might get lonely."
Ed: "MY BROTHER ISN'T SOME KIND OF FARM ANIMAL!"
Earlier, Ed is complaining about being treated like a child by Armstrong, looks to Al support...but Al is gushing about how, for the first time since he became armor, someone is treating him like a child.
And then he gets put into the cargo box.
Al: "This is the first time someone's treated me like luggage since I became armor..."
Especially when Pinako tells Armstrong about the Elric's backstory, and when Ed returns from checking on Trisha's grave he hugs him in Manly Tears.
And then, in the manga, Ed's spectacular Spit Take at Hawkeye's suggestion that he loves Winry nearly drowns poor Hayate.
Just this line from Mustang's coup de etat, said totally seriously: "Colonel Mustang's fleeing in an ice cream truck!"
Falman is "volunteered" to watch over Barry by Mustang and Hawkeye.
Barry:(putting his arm over Falman's shoulder) "You don't look like you'd be much fun to chop up anyway. Wanna be friends instead?"
One omake has the guys in East branch wondering who would win, Ed or Roy? Roy doesn't care, because Ed isn't around to fight anyway...only to learn from Riza that only is Ed around, but is willing to take Roy on. Roy points out that a battle between State alchemists would cause immense collateral damage, but Hughes just rented the parade grounds. Roy insists that the Fuhrer would never allow such a duel to happen!...we cut to Bradley, who thinks it would be jolly good fun, and wishes Roy luck. At the end, Roy wins the duel, but he and the spectators are made to clean up the parade grounds...except for Hughes, who escaped beforehand.
Needless to say, this was adapted into an episode of the first anime which was also pretty funny.
Even better: this is Bradley's first appearance in the manga.
When Martel explains the Chimeras to Al, she tells him that Dolcetto "lifts up one leg to pee". In the manga, Dolcetto yells that he doesn't do that. In Brotherhood...
Truth:(throws its arms up into the air out of joy) "Oh, I'm so glad you asked!"
Alphonse meets Hohenheim for the first time in years:
Hohenheim: "My vintage armor!!"
Hohenheim: Oh... Er, Sorry.
The encounter between Father and the Elric brothers throughout Episode 28. He gets to be a snarker too.
Father: "This is somewhat surprising. People emerging from his (Envy) stomach."
Also when Father was surprised that Hohenheim had kids.
Father: "This is indeed surprising! I had no idea he had children!"
Perhaps it's only funny because of how tense the situation is, but when Father drags the sacrifices into his lair, he starts complaining about how their attempts to fight him are wrecking up his house in a hilariously passive aggressive fashion.
The Omake where Havoc meets Catherine, Armstrong's little sister. When Armstrong describes her as having "My features" Havoc has a terrifying Imagine Spot of Armstrong in a dress. (We later see that the siblings have the same patterns around their eyes) Later on, Catherine, in response to a question about her hobbies, says, "I...like the piano..."
Havoc:(thinking) "There's no way she can be the major's sister..."
Catherine: "I like to pick up the piano..." (does so with ONE ARM)
Havoc:(thinking)"Scratch that! She is 100% the major's sister!"
In Episode 26, May is searching for Shao May. When she finds out Al has it, she imagines evil versions of Ed and Al laughing evilly.
Izumi attacking a group, and a control group tries to contact them. This happens:
The first glimpse we get of Hohenheim in the manga: he arrives suddenly in Pinako's house after God knows how many years...
Hohenheim (mildly confused): Pinako. My house is gone.
During the attack on Barry the Chopper, Envy is having problems with Lan Fan, so he retreats to a tower and calls out for Gluttony. Too bad Gluttony is busy being blasted out of said tower and falling right on the catwalk Envy is on right now. Envy makes an hilarious Oh Crap face right before being smashed.
Even better in the Italian version, because the phrase "give me a hand" translates into "dammi una mano". So the scene goes:
Envy: GLUTTONY! Dove sei finito? Vieni qui a darmi una ma- (notices Gluttony falling towards him) ...no. NOOOOO- (they smash through three catwalks)
Volume 10's In Memoriam. Starring: Barry the Chopper and Barry the Chopper fighting each other, while Lust politely watches as Maria Ross falls from Heaven.
Barely the tip of the iceberg where the voice actors are concerned...the main cast play off each other quite well, as you can imagine (and that only continued with Ouran High School Host Club).
Forget the series, the commentary for Episode 10 is hilarious.
The commentary for Episode 36 is also pretty hilarious, especially when they discuss Olivier killing General Raven and how Buccaneer just happens to have a spare pair of gloves for her that he apparently carries around the whole time.
There's also an impression of what would happen if Olivier worked at a convenience store instead of joining the military:
The commentary for Episode 14 (which features Chris Patton) is equally funny. For instance, Vic is complimenting Chris, telling the latter how nice of a person he always is. Immediately after he finishes saying this...
The final one is from Episode 2, as sweet young Al gives an enthusiastic "FUCK YEAH!"
"Within him is a Philosopher's Stone powered by many thousands of people. You could say he used its energy to claim the powers of God for himself. Now will you please put on aFUCKINGshirt?!" Even funnier since Armstrong looked genuinely offended.
Another including Armstrong: "We're on a path leading directly to the heart of the enemy! We didn't come all this way just to stop the chance to pass up my balls in the hallway!"
Another one from Armstrong, this time flubbing his line: "The Homunculi refer to those unfortunate enough to...unfortunately unfortunately un...folded the Portal of...Happiness. note Whatever the fuck."
The crowd rioting at Hughes stopping announcer duty to show off a billboard-sized picture of Elysia.
Hughes: "AH! DON'T FALL ON DADDY!"
Never call Ed small/chibi/short/etc... actually, do it; it results in these nearly every time.
Even funnier for me was the one time someone calls him a "diminutive state alchemist." Everyone expects him to react the way he usually does, but instead he calmly tells the guy, "Points for the big word, but you're still going down."
In the PS2 game The Broken Angel, right at the start, one of the train hijackers calls Ed short, and in turn Ed transmutes a hammer from his automail arm and whacks the poor sap out the window sending him flying Team Rocket style.
Almost all of Episode 37. Especially the first half, where Roy Mustang tells his subordinates to get Lt. Havoc a girlfriend. They end up setting him up with Armstrong's sister. The second half has their investigation of the rumored "Warehouse 13", which is supposedly haunted by ghosts.
Alex has two other sisters, both of whom look almost exactly like he does.
Another good moment is when we get a look at how Hawkeye starts her day. Close in her bed...the giggles she's making are a little suspicious...and she whips the sheets open to reveal Black Hayate's been licking her feet.
They thought they'd discovered the scene of a murder, but it turns out they just found the place where Black Hayate buries bones.
The way Hayate just nonchalantly walks through the scene, places his bone in one of the holes they'd just dug looking for the murder victim, kicks some dirt over it, and walks away, right past Mustang's pure "WTF???" expression...
The line "It's a Were-House!".
Havoc spends the entire part of the "Warehouse 13" saga completely catatonic. When everyone is running for life, they literally have to drag him.
Hughes: "He said "Don't die under my command. You're enough of a pain without the paper work." That was it."
Ed: "Tell him (in a complete deadpan tone) Fine. There's no way I'm dying before you, you morally bankrupt colonel with a god complex."
However, before that...
Hughes: "Roy, you need to make as many powerful friends around here as possible, which is why I make the suggestion (whispers)you find yourself a wife."
Mustang:(slamming phone) "GIVE IT A REST!"
The coverup for Al's voice deepening in the dub of "Chibi Wrap Party", as if the entire OVA wasn't funny enough:
Al: "Hey, brother."
Ed: "Hey, Al...what happened to your voice?"
Al: "It's called puberty, Ed. Maybe it'll happen to you someday."
In the penultimate episode, Envy morphs into Mustang while fighting with Ed, thinking that Mustang's appearance would make him hesitate to attack. Ed's response? "I don't think you could've picked an easier target!"
During the episode where Alphonse is damaged and left at the wrong train stop, a boy finds him and makes off with him so the boy can use Al's armor for a fight. The boy is highly weirded out that Al is speaking to him and then scared out of his gourd when Al proclaims (in a hammy fashion) that he's a "cursed demon armor and will steal your body and soul when you wear him". He ends up left on the side of the road, where Ed finds him some time later covered in Shinto Spell Tags to ward off evil.
Earlier in the episode, both sad and hilarious, it begins raining on Al's box:
Al: "No fair, sky. I'm the one who feels like crying."
When Gracia goes into labor in Episode 6, she retorts with this after Maes protests that it's a bit off her due date...
Gracia: "Well, the baby says NOW, and I'm pretty sure SHE gets to choose!"
90% of scenes involving Alex Louis Armstrong are this. He is Large Ham at its finest.
The Large Ham status has passed down the Armstrong line for generations!
This part of the movie, when the two brothers are reunited for the first time and have to run away:
Alphonse: "Now what?"
Edward: "Just go!"
Alphonse: "Which way?!"
Edward: "ANY WAY!"
Alphonse: "I don't know where I'm going!"
Edward: "It's better than getting shot!"
Falman is trying to get a date for Havoc. He asks Sheska if she knows any smart, funny girls with great personalities. Sheska gets immediately offended that he didn't consider her. Falman clarifies that he's looking for a date for Havoc. Sheska immediately gets unoffended.
During one episode, we see some flashbacks of the brothers' time spent alone on an island as part of their training. At one point, they capture a rabbit. They spend a few minutes arguing about who is going to have to kill it, and just as the argument is reaching a climax... a fox runs past and steals the rabbit.
In the train hijacking episode, when one of the hijackers runs across Al, he panics and begins wildly shooting at him, only for the bullets to ricochet off Al's armored body and hit him instead. Then another hijacker comes up and does the exact same thing! And the best part? Al's actually trying to warn them that they're only going to hurt themselves doing it, but they freakout too quickly to listen.
Sheska recounts to Winry how she investigated the background of Captain Juliet Douglas, and discovered both that she was supposedly dead and was far too young-looking for her recorded age, and finally explains her conclusion:
Sheska: Captain Douglas is... an alien.
Sheska working for Hughes, absolutely terrified that if she shows any signs of fatigue he will talk about his daughter.
The begining of The Movie has Ed recounting a story about how he and Al defeated a Mad Scientist. At the end of the whole sequence:
Ed: Let's go. This whole castle is about to explode.