Matt: Whenever a fight breaks out, I just stand in the back and yell stuff.
Landry(to Tim): Oh my gosh, you can't read can you? You're one of those kids that just slipped through the cracks.
Tami: What's The Scarlet Letter about, Tim?
Tim: Well, it's about a girl named Scarlet, obviously...
The Lions returning from an away game with the players and coaches equally hung over.
Reporter: So they're planning on combining the best players for the Dillon team next year. You mind me asking what you're gonna do?
Tinker: You're a jackass, you know that?
Many, many moments of the interaction between Tami and Eric, when not serious (and even some of those) results in Crowning Moments of Funny.
Eric: I'm gonna have me a Matt chat.
Tami: That sounds like a truly horrible idea.
Eric bursting out laughing when Matt first asks to marry Julie.
As Matt arrives for his first date with Julie:
Eric: You want a beer or anything?
Matt: Oh, no thanks. I'm driving.
Eric: That was a joke, son.
"Why don't you hang up your Member's Only Jacket on the coat rack, son?"
"They had a blanket"
Tami's reply is even funnier; "You're an idiot."
Matt's attempts at flirting with a customer are painfully cringe-inducing. This pretty much solidified Matt as Adorkable.
The players betting if The Smash gets the preachers's daughter or Matt coach Taylor's daughter laid first. Cue the coach walking in. This could have been pretty serious, if their Oh Crap faces weren't that hilarious.
"I was protecing your mom's honor." "With your face?"
Eric figures Matt has a girl on his mind when he's distracted during practice, and tells him to do whatever it takes to get his mind back in the game, up to "get her in the back seat of your car," naturally not realizing that the girl in question is his daughter. Then at the end of the episode he figures it out, and has to tell Tami what he said.