- Moglin introduces himself to the group, explaining his name and nickname (MOOGLE or MOG) are both acronyms, so the cadets can call him what they like. Cinque names him "Moglin." Moglin protests that he has a real name — "Hatzkhaminei Lowtoyosna Eripulci." Cinque decides that's too long, Moglin is good enough.
- Some things don't need a translation to be hilarious.
- The order for Code Crimson in Chapter 4, 'Mission Under Ceasefire', is exactly that - a mission during the tripartite ceasefire. Upon arriving in a mountain to back up some Imperial troops having trouble with local monsters, we get this exchange.
Cinque: Hey, Imperial troops. (sneaky voice) Should we kill them, too?
Ace: We're in a ceasefire; they won't shoot at us. Leave them alone.
Cinque (sounding disappointed): Yessir...
- And then, when you rescue the Militesi who were being terrorized by the snow giants, they make fun of Ace and Cinque (and presumably the rest of Class Zero, but just the two are in the cutscenes) for being so young despite being the infamous 'red demons'; then they burst out laughing, and Cinque laughs with them.
Cinque: Even the Empire has cheerful people, huh.
Ace: (incredibly uncomfortable expression that screams 'my face is not cute')
- In the middle of Lady Caetuna's summoning of the Verboten Eidolon, we cut to the imperial camp, where there is a frickin' earthquake happening... and a Militesi supersoldier reports that he's picking up enormous magic readings.
General Qator: (in an aggravated tone that says "how the hell did you get assigned to this station") I'm aware of it.
- During the Emina sidequest, the sorcery researcher's Sheer spell doesn't cut it, nor does Sheera. When upgrading it into Sheerga, you get this wonderful gem:
Now get out there and buy her more gifts - the success of our investigation depends on it!
- In Chapter 7 you have the option to talk to the class Tonberry in an optional scene, which as usual are marked as needing two hours of in-game time to do. The Tonberry says absolutely nothing, and after two or three dialogue boxes full of "...............", you get an item. At this point the developers are obviously and purposefully Trolling us.
- This also gives the impression that someone in Class Zero actually sat down and listened(?) to Tonberry for two hours.
- Nine bragging that he could name all four nations of Orience when Quon points out his stupidity. Also...
Queen: I hate to tell you this, but that's not culture. It's common knowledge.
- On the subject of Nine, the Vermilion Bird statue in the Fountain Plaza is one of the 'scenery quote' locations, with two quotes available per cadet. Most of the Classmates Zero say something inspired around here; Nine just looks up and says, "That's a big-ass bird!"
- One of Deuce's abilities is Dissonant Sonata, which involves her playing her flute really badly, creating a field around her that stuns enemies and even causes a static effect on the PSP's screen!
- In one village, you're tasked with tracking down a rare jewel that was stolen from the mayor. You eventually find out what happened to it — a Chocobo swallowed it. After you find this out, there's a fade to black, and you get the jewel back. The onlooking Dominion Legionary outright says, "You Class Zero cadets have guts!"
- During the normal ending, when everyone is thinking about plans for a future that's never going to come, Cinque proposes plans for ten years later. Jack points out that they can't know what's going to happen in the future, so they should just "live in the now, you know?"
Seven: Oh, is that why I heard you whisper you never want to grow up?
Nine: Wait, what the hell?!
- During the secret ending, Sice works herself up to give a love letter to Kurasame. As she sees him coming down the hall, she closes her eyes, whirls around the corner with her head down, and holds out the letter. Cue Seven popping up between her and Kurasame, and Kurasame walking off as Seven takes the letter.
- Final Fantasy Agito, being a prequel/alternate universe with more Slice of Life has several instances of this in the form of interactions with the ex-Classmates Zero (only Ace is still actually a member of Class Zero). One of these is that, if you're playing as a girl and meet Nine for the first or second time, he'll happily confess that Jack has a Porn Stash and he shares it with the rest of the ex-Classmates Zero. But it doesn't end there; apparently, Jack also told Nine that he plans to get rid of them and be "a pure and delicate shounen" so female PC will like him better.
- That tumblr post alone can make you break down laughing.
JACK HAS A PORN STASH
EVERYONE READS THEM
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THIS INFORMATION
uh lemme check if this is a dating sim again
- Almost every scene with Cinque.
- Many of Jack's scenes.
- The first time the class receives their COMM devices, Jack decides to test the line by saying that is exactly what he is doing. Queen is annoyed and tells him to keep the lines clear of his nonsense.
- Even funnier, Queen proceeds to ask Seven on her status. If katana and whipblade showing up to help Ace do the Special Eidolon summon for Odin is any indication, Seven and Jack were in the same place, and Queen decided that, rather than let Jack keep talking, Seven could inform her of their status.
- His Deliverance attack will cross a battlefield to get you within hitting range of an enemy inflicted with Killsight. Not targeting an enemy inflicted with Killsight? He trips.
- This exchange during Tempus Finis, after Jack tells everyone to cheer up and picture a brighter future:
- Carla's scene with Cinque and Trey:
Carla: Are either of you in need of something?
Cinque: Hmmm... I need Trey to stop saying such unpleasant things all the time.
Carla: Hmmm, I see, I see. Then how would you like to sign up for "Carla's Self-Improvement Seminar"? It'll fix any defective personality in a snap! He'll be your loyal servant in no time!
Defective personality!? Servant!?
- Made funnier because Trey starts by complimenting Carla on her being a great student and a kind soul.
- Carla goes on to ask for an insane amount of gil for the seminar. When Cinque refuses, she calls her a tightwad and then immediately reverts back to being cheerful and pleasant.
- Carla's scene with Jack and Cater, where she asks them to call her a 'Blazing Merchant'. She seems to also have dropped the nice girl charade a little bit here.
Cater: "Blazing Merchant"?
Carla: Yes! Because I'm always trying to blaze a path towards new customers! Defective personalities, even hungry children! (camera turns to Jack) Frivolous people? Certainly! (camera switches to Cater) Even arrogant people! I offer my goods and services to everyone!
Jack: Was I just casually insulted there?
Cater: Yeah, I sensed some spite, too.
- And then she offers an energy drink for an insanely high amount of gil.
- One of "Kazusa's Mutterings" (aka 'let Kazusa drug me for his questionable experiments') mentions that male bodies are more interesting in terms of muscle volume. This can be triggered with Ace, the skinny Glass Cannon among the male Classmates Zero. Which makes you wonder what he's hiding under that Akademeia uniform...
- For that matter, pretty much any of these Kazusa sequences. Basically any time you do one, you're volunteering your current player character to be, as it says above, drugged for questionable experiments. Which then happens with said character seemingly half-conscious, while you're allowed to use the left stick to jerkily move the camera around, getting a very limited view of what's going on.
- Mutsuki's intro.
- The second scene with Quon in the Crystarium has Nine accusing him of not having any friends. Queen tries to damage control by asking on Quon's book of choice; The Lexicon of Arcane Theory Vol. 79.
Nine: Wait, hold up, yo. That's a dictionary.
Queen: And one in a set of a hundred and four. Am I to assume you've already read the first seventy-eight volumes?
Quon: What are you implying? This is my sixth time through.
(Queen and Nine both gasp in disbelief)
Nine: Well, I admit, I was wrong. If you're that well-read, then you don't need friends.
Quon: So you still take as a given that I have no friends?
(Queen nods quietly)
- Everything about the secret ending is pure hilarity - partially because everyone is in their Summerwear.
- Izana is dating Emina, which leads to her rejecting Nine - cut to said spearman throwing javelins in the Arena.
Nine: Damn it all to heeeeeell!
- Ace is a Megane bookworm trying to get into higher education, and Machina is his best friend and trying to get him out of the Crystarium.
Ace: Wait, I have to return my book-!
Machina: You can return it later, come on.
- Sice's aforementioned crush on Kurasame is one of many female students' such attractions. Kurasame still wears his mask, and since Kazusa's experiments with the Ice Reaper's eyeball prove they have a model for him without it, one can assume that they had him keep it just because it's funny.
Random Classmate Fourth: I said hi to Kurasame! He said bye back!
- Eight seems to being tending an attraction to Cater, who's "I'm not Queen, I don't read stuff" attitude has bit her in the ass - and the grades. In an attempt to jump from (what used to be) Central Command to (the old location of) the great portal, she lands on Eight.
- Jack, Trey, and King are in a band, and King refuses to practice on the grounds that "I play from my heart - my performance will be perfect". Trey takes the first opportunity to follow him and starts talking about a hot brunette working at a cafe. Jack eventually goes from "we have to practice" to "don't leave me behind". And Trey is still wearing his mitsugake.
Jack: Hey, guys, wait up!
- Queen, Deuce, and Cinque are lacrosse players, and it would seem that Ace is dating Mutsuki. Deuce's horrified expression is sure to give a few shippers a field day, and Queen's gossiping attitude contrasts brilliantly with her wise studious behaviour in the main game.
- Nine is still throwing javelins amidst all this.
Nine: Here it comes! Pitch number eleven!
- If you recruit Naghi, he straight up tells the Class that he's been sent by the authority to spy on them. But it's ok for you to know that he's spying on you because he's your friend!
- Carla's scene with Sice and Nine.
- Most of the optional Moogle lecture scenes.
- The fact that the Rubrum overworld music is the classic Chocobo theme.
- Queen offer's some thoughts on Nine...
Oh, please. Don't worry about that. Stupidity isn't communicable by air. I wouldn't stay near Nine if it were.