History Funny / FiftyShadesofGrey

--->"do I afraid you?" Christian Grey asked, licking his eyebrow.

!!Meta
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvX6LkbiS-U Various]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K1RcKJVbHA celebrities]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WahBH9sANg reading]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvZVpbJ9DzY it]]:
** [[Creator/TeamFourStar TFS]] and Creator/DougWalker reading it is [[http://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLC36F6B027791D382 completely]] hilarious with all of them doing either one of their (famous) roles or impersonating different characters.
** The Creator/GeorgeTakei one is particularly amusing, since he shares a CatchPhrase with the narrator. The one with Creator/MorganFreeman ([[labelnote:sorta]]It's actually a voice imitator named Josh Robert Thompson[[/labelnote]]) also includes some pretty hilarious commentary.
-->'''Ana:''' I like your [[{{Narm}} kinky fuckery]].
-->'''"Morgan Freeman":''' Yeah, more like bullshit douchery.
** Gilbert Gottfried's reading features him ''screaming'' the word "clitoris" (or, as he [[LargeHam says]] it, "CLIT'''''TOOOOR'''''IS").
*** His entire use of AcCENTUponTheWrongSylLABle.
*** And now see [[WesternAnimation/{{Aladdin}} Iago]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGFe26H8lWg read it]].
** Creator/JonStJohn [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oUa-3W0BFI reading a passage]] as VideoGame/DukeNukem is gold.
** Comedian Andrew Orvedahl's thoughts on the [[MemeticMutation infamous]] passage "His voice was warm and husky, like melted dark chocolate fudge caramel, or something," which [[{{Narm}} rightfully]] belongs here, too:
--> …"Or something"? You're the fucking '''AUTHOR'''! You get to decide what that "or something" is; that's part of your ''job'' while writing a book! Like she's just sitting there, writing, and she was like: "His voice w- I'm hungry for dessert, what does a ''voice'' sound like? …Eh, you'll figure it out!" ..."He lived in a house. Or maybe an apartment, I dunno. My imagination's not that ''strong''."
** Creator/RoosterTeeth had reading a passage as one of their goals whenever they hit a certain milestone for Extra Life '15. They did it three times. The first time is read straight. The second time is [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHSoztUW0pk read by Lindsay Jones]] as ''WebAnimation/{{RWBY}}''[='=]s Ruby Rose. The third time? [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TF1npeEBBhI Read by Matt Hullum]] as ''WebAnimation/RedVsBlue''[='=]s Sarge.
*** Lindsay as Ruby is funnier as Lindsay doesn't like having her character cuss, thus she invokes GoshDarnItToHeck, leading to Christian to declare "I don't make love. I truck. Hard."
*** An unintentional example: Polish actress Joanna Koroniewska, who did the recording for the audiobook version of ''Fifty Shades Freed'', said "God, I'm going to puke" after finishing the tenth chapter, probably unaware that the recording was going on. This slip of the tongue was included in all official releases.
* When TheMovie came out, the folks at ''WebVideo/HonestTrailers'' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iopcfR1vI5I poked fun at it.]]
-->'''Ana:''' What are butt plugs?\\
'''Narrator:''' [[AskAStupidQuestion It's a plug.]] [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin For your butt.]]
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3qZLrC7Ot4 This parody]] of the novel, which does an excellent job of recreating its poor writing.
* [[https://archiveofourown.org/works/22480186?view_full_work=true A summary of the trilogy placed through several layers of Google Translate.]]
* In a similarly meta moment of funny, Creator/JohnOliver stated on his show ''Series/LastWeekTonightWithJohnOliver'' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPloDzu_wcI that he would like very much to be considered to play Christian Grey.]] Despite having no idea what the book is about.
* E. L. James attempted a Twitter question-and-answer session. [[http://www.starpulse.com/news/index.php/2015/06/30/el-james-twitter-fifty-shades-of-grey- It]] [[http://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/fifty-shades-grey-author-el-5972718 went]] poorly.
-->''"Did you write intentionally badly so people would suffer pain, but discover they enjoy it?"''\\
''"Which do you hate more, women or the English language?"''\\
''"#[=AskELJames=] I need advice on making a BIG romantic gesture. Should I put a GPS tracker in her phone and make threats if she tries to leave?"''\\
''"#[=AskELJames=] what's it like telling millions of women [[UnfortunateImplications it's okay to be in an abusive relationship as long as he's rich]]. Asking for a friend."''\\
''"#[=AskELJames=] Can you confirm that you will be writing the story of [[Literature/ASongOfIceAndFire Ramsay Bolton]] from his perspective, showing he is just misunderstood?"''
* The movie received either the highest, or near-highest ratings even in countries lenient towards sexual content like the Netherlands, Germany or Scandinavia. In France, the movie only got a ''12'' rating (the next lowest is Sweden and Denmark with a 15 rating, which is still the highest rating in those countries). And then the fact that the MediaWatchdog of France thought the rating was ''too high'' and deserved the equivalent of an all-ages rating. Given what the movie is (in)famous for, it isn't so much a commentary on [[NationalStereotypes French]] [[EuropeansAreKinky cultural values]] as it is a commentary on [[FetishRetardant the movie itself]].
* These thorough, and justifiably angry and sarcastic, [[http://redlemonade.blogspot.com/p/fifty-shades-of-tedious-fuckery.html recaps of the three novels]]. The running commentary makes fun of both the terrible writing and the terrible relationships standards, and is way more researched that the series itself (admittedly, not hard to pull ''that'' off).

** The fact that the author [[CriticalResearchFailure obviously]] isn't familiar with the BDSM subculture.

* In a similarly meta moment of funny, Creator/JohnOliver stated on his show ''Series/LastWeekTonightWithJohnOliver'' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPloDzu_wcI that he would like very much to be considered to play Christian Grey.]] Despite [[CriticalResearchFailure having no idea what the book is about.]]

--> …"Or something"? You're the fucking '''AUTHOR'''! You get to decide what that "or something" is; that's part of your ''job'' while writing a book! Like she's just sitting there, writing, and she was like: "His voice w- I'm hungry for dessert, what does a ''voice'' sound like? …Eh, you'll figure it out!"

** Creator/RoosterTeeth had reading a passage as one of their goals whenever they hit a certain milestone for Extra Life '15. They did it three times. The first time is read straight. The second time is [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHSoztUW0pk read by Lindsay Jones]] as ''WebAnimation/{{RWBY}}''[='=]s Ruby Rose. The third time? [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TF1npeEBBhI Read by Matt Hullum]] as ''Machinima/RedVsBlue''[='=]s Sarge.

** In the beginning of the first novel, Ana is [[{{Squick}} using Grey's toothbrush on purpose]]. It's supposed to convey her physical longing for him, but it comes off as disgusting rather than sexy/romantic. When she later tells him about it, for absolutely no reason at all, he's ''[[HorribleJudgeOfCharacter pleased]]'' by it.

* In ''Fifty Shades Darker'', Ana and Christian go to Jose's art show. To their surprise, several people recognize Ana and they soon find out why: [[StalkerShrine an entire wall is dedicated to photos of her]] (that she didn't know existed) (this part is, by the way, blatant plagiarism of ''Film/BlueIsTheWarmestColor''). Christian immediately purchases every picture.

--> …"Or something"? You're the fucking '''author!''' You get to decide what that "or something" is; that's part of your ''job'' while writing a book! Like she's just sitting there, writing, and she was like: "His voice w- I'm hungry for dessert, what does a ''voice'' sound like? …Eh, you'll figure it out!"

*** And now see [[Disney/{{Aladdin}} Iago]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGFe26H8lWg read it]].

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvX6LkbiS-U Various]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K1RcKJVbHA celebrities]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WahBH9sANg reading]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvZVpbJ9DzY it.]] The book has become prime SnarkBait this way:

* The movie received either the highest, or near-highest ratings even in countries lenient towards sexual content like the Netherlands, Germany or Scandinavia. In France, the movie only got a ''12'' rating (the next lowest is Sweden and Denmark with a 15 rating, which is still the highest rating in those countries). And then the fact that the MediaWatchdog of France thought the rating was ''too high'' and deserved the equivalent of an all-ages rating. Given what the movie is (in)famous for, it isn't so much a commentary on [[NationalStereotypes French]] [[EuropeansAreKinky cultural values]] as it is a commentary on [[FetishRetardant the movie itself]].

* E. L. James attempted a Twitter question-and-answer session. [[http://www.starpulse.com/news/index.php/2015/06/30/el-james-twitter-fifty-shades-of-grey- It]] [[http://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/fifty-shades-grey-author-el-5972718 went]] [[InternetBackdraft poorly]].

-->'''Ana:''' What's a butt-plug?\\

*** His entire use of AccentUponTheWrongSyllable.

* When TheMovie came out, the folks at ''WebVideo/HonestTrailers'' poked fun at it.
--->'''Ana''': What's a butt-plug?\\
'''Voice''': [[AskAStupidQuestion It's a plug…]] [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin for your butt.]]

* In a similarly meta moment of funny, [[Series/LastWeekTonightWithJohnOliver John Oliver]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPloDzu_wcI would like to be considered to play Christian Grey.]] Despite [[CriticalResearchFailure having no idea what the book is about.]]

* The movie received either the highest, or near-highest ratings even in countries lenient towards sexual content like the Netherlands, Germany or Scandinavia. In France, the movie only got a ''12'' rating (the next lowest is Sweden and Denmark with a 15 rating, which is still the highest rating in those countries). And then the fact that the MediaWatchdog of France thought the rating was ''too high'' and deserved the equivalent of an All-ages rating. [[NationalStereotypes Let that sink in]] [[EuropeansAreKinky for a minute.]]
** Alternatively, the fact that France rated it so low isn't so much a commentary on French cultural values as it is a commentary on [[FetishRetardant the movie itself]].

** There seem to be fake quotes, or maybe they're real, that people enjoy posting. Among the most infamous is "do I afraid you?" Christian Grey asked, licking his eyebrow. There is fanart of it.

* Not in the work itself, but [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvX6LkbiS-U various]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K1RcKJVbHA celebrities]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WahBH9sANg reading]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvZVpbJ9DzY it.]] The book has become prime SnarkBait this way:
** [[Creator/TeamFourStar TFS]] and Creator/DougWalker reading it is [[http://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLC36F6B027791D382 completely]] hilarious with all of them doing either one of their (famous) roles or impersonating different characters.
** The Creator/GeorgeTakei one is particularly amusing, since he shares a CatchPhrase with the narrator. The one with Creator/MorganFreeman ([[labelnote:sorta]]It's actually a voice imitator named Josh Robert Thompson[[/labelnote]]) also includes some pretty hilarious commentary.
-->'''Ana:''' I like your [[{{Narm}} kinky fuckery]].
-->'''"Morgan Freeman":''' Yeah, more like bullshit douchery.
** Gilbert Gottfried's reading features him ''screaming'' the word "clitoris" (or, as he [[LargeHam says]] it, "CLIT'''''TOOOOR'''''IS").
*** His entire use of AccentUponTheWrongSyllable.
*** And now see [[Disney/{{Aladdin}} Iago]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGFe26H8lWg read it]].
** In a similarly meta moment of funny, [[Series/LastWeekTonightWithJohnOliver John Oliver]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPloDzu_wcI would like to be considered to play Christian Grey.]] Despite [[CriticalResearchFailure having no idea what the book is about.]]
** Creator/JonStJohn [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oUa-3W0BFI reading a passage]] as VideoGame/DukeNukem is gold.
** Comedian Andrew Orvedahl's thoughts on the [[MemeticMutation infamous]] passage "His voice was warm and husky, like melted dark chocolate fudge caramel, or something," which [[{{Narm}} rightfully]] belongs here, too:
--> …"Or something"? You're the fucking '''author!''' You get to decide what that "or something" is; that's part of your ''job'' while writing a book! Like she's just sitting there, writing, and she was like: "His voice w- I'm hungry for dessert, what does a ''voice'' sound like? …Eh, you'll figure it out!"
** Creator/RoosterTeeth had reading a passage as one of their goals whenever they hit a certain milestone for Extra Life '15. They did it three times. The first time is read straight. The second time is [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHSoztUW0pk read by Lindsay Jones]] as ''WebAnimation/{{RWBY}}''[='=]s Ruby Rose. The third time? [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TF1npeEBBhI Read by Matt Hullum]] as ''Machinima/RedVsBlue''[='=]s Sarge.
*** Lindsay as Ruby is funnier as Lindsay doesn't like having her character cuss, thus she invokes GoshDarnItToHeck, leading to Christian to declare "I don't make love. I truck. Hard."
** When TheMovie came out, the folks at ''WebVideo/HonestTrailers'' poked fun at it.
--->'''Ana''': What's a… butt-plug?\\
'''Voice''': [[AskAStupidQuestion It's a plug…]] [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin for your butt.]]
** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3qZLrC7Ot4 This parody]] of the novel, which does an excellent job of recreating its poor writing.

* In a meta-example, the movie received either the highest, or near-highest ratings even in countries lenient towards sexual content like the Netherlands, Germany or Scandinavia. In France, the movie only got a ''12'' rating (the next lowest is Sweden and Denmark with a 15 rating, which is still the highest rating in those countries). And then the fact that the MediaWatchdog of France thought the rating was ''too high'' and deserved the equivalent of an All-ages rating. [[NationalStereotypes Let that sink in]] [[EuropeansAreKinky for a minute.]]
** Alternatively, the fact that France rated it so low isn't so much a commentary on French cultural values as it is a commentary on [[FetishRetardant the movie itself.]]

''"#[=AskELJames=] what's it like telling millions of women it's okay to be in an abusive relationship as long as he's rich. Asking for a friend."''\\

** The Creator/GeorgeTakei one is particularly amusing, since he shares a {{Catchphrase}} with the narrator. The one with Creator/MorganFreeman ([[labelnote:sorta]]It's actually a voice imitator named Josh Robert Thompson[[/labelnote]]) also includes some pretty hilarious commentary.

* Not in the work itself, but [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvX6LkbiS-U various]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K1RcKJVbHA celebrities]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WahBH9sANg reading]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvZVpbJ9DzY it.]]
** [[TeamFourStar TFS]] and Creator/DougWalker reading it is [[http://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLC36F6B027791D382 completely]] hilarious with all of them doing either one of their (famous) roles or impersonating different characters
** The Creator/GeorgeTakei one is particularly amusing, since he shares a CatchPhrase with the narrator. The one with Creator/MorganFreeman ([[labelnote:sorta]]It's actually a voice imitator named Josh Robert Thompson[[/labelnote]]) also includes some pretty hilarious commentary.

* A lot of the writing in general is of [[{{Narm}} hilariously]] poor quality:

** [[TeamFourStar TFS]] and [[DougWalker Doug Walker]] reading it is [[http://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLC36F6B027791D382 completely]] hilarious with all of them doing either one of their (famous) roles or impersonating different characters

** [[Creator/JonStJohn Jon St John]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oUa-3W0BFI reading a passage]] as VideoGame/DukeNukem is gold.

--> ..."Or something"? You're the fucking '''author!''' You get to decide what that "or something" is; that's part of your ''job'' while writing a book! Like she's just sitting there, writing, and she was like: "His voice w- I'm hungry for dessert, what does a ''voice'' sound like? ...Eh, you'll figure it out!"

--->'''Ana''': What's a... butt-plug?
--->'''Voice''': [[AskAStupidQuestion It's a plug...]] [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin for your butt.]]

* Any time the phrase [[PurpleProse "inner goddess"]] is uttered. Among the things it does is a "salsa merengue," and waving pom-poms like a cheerleader, and it is once said to be like someone who has had an ice-cream snatched from it.

* Every time the "subconscious" is mentioned. Interestingly, the "subconscious" isn't really her subconscious, because she's clearly aware what the subconscious is doing (such as wearing half-moon spectacles) which is fully conscious.
* Every time Ana goes "Oh my!" or "Holy crap!" and wants to masturbate at the sight of Christian Grey.
* Every time a foil packet (euphemism for condom) is mentioned during a sex scene.
* Every time a euphemism for vulva is used, e.g. "my sex" or "down ''there''."
* Every time a euphemism for penis is used, e.g. "incredible length".
* "I would like to bite that lip."
* Christian's explanation for why he does BDSM: "Because I'm [[TitleDrop fifty shades of]] fucked up, Ana!" You don't say, Chris. You don't say.
* "Moving down, I push him into my mouth. He groans again. Ha! My inner goddess is thrilled. I can do this. I can fuck him with my mouth."
** "My very own Christian Grey-flavored popsicle."
* "I'm a ho with dirty sex hair."
* Ana's mental response to the news that she just had "vanilla sex" with Grey: "I thought it was chocolate fudge brownie sex that we had, with a cherry on the top."
* "He reaches between my legs and [[FetishRetardant pulls on the blue string]] – [[BigWhat what?!]] – [[FetishRetardant and gently pulls my tampon out and tosses it into the nearby toilet.]] [[SirSwearsalot Holy fuck. Sweet mother of all… Jeez.]] And then [[IKEAErotica he’s inside me.]]"
* The fact that the author obviously isn't familiar with the BDSM subculture.
* In ''Fifty Shades Darker'', Ana and Christian go to Jose's art show. To their surprise, several people recognize Ana and they soon find out why: [[StalkerShrine an entire wall is dedicated to photos of her]] (that she didn't know existed). (This part is, by the way, blatant plagiarism of ''Film/BlueIsTheWarmestColor''). Christian immediately purchases every picture.
* In the beginning of the first novel, Ana is [[{{Squick}} using Grey's toothbrush on purpose]]. It's supposed to convey her physical longing for him, but it comes off as disgusting rather than sexy/romantic. When she later tells him about it, for absolutely no reason at all, he's ''[[HorribleJudgeOfCharacter pleased]]'' by it.
-->'''Ana''': I feel so naughty.
* E. L. James attempts a Twitter question-and-answer session. [[http://www.starpulse.com/news/index.php/2015/06/30/el-james-twitter-fifty-shades-of-grey- It goes poorly.]]
-->''"Did you write intentionally badly so people would suffer pain, but discover they enjoy it?"''
-->''"Which do you hate more, women or the English language?"''
* Everytime there's a writing error. Example: "His eyebrows widened in surprise".

** Gilbert Gottfried's reading features him ''screaming'' the word "clitoris" (or, as he says it, "CLIT'''''TOOOOR'''''IS").

** Comedian Andrew Orvedahl's thoughts on the infamous passage "His voice was warm and husky, like melted dark chocolate fudge caramel, or something," which rightfully belongs here, too:
--> ..."Or something"? You're the fucking '''author!''' You get to decide what that "or something" is; that's part of your ''job'' while writing a book! Like she's just sitting there, writing, and she was like: "His voice w-- I'm hungry for dessert, what does a ''voice'' sound like? ...Eh, you'll figure it out!"

** The GeorgeTakei one is particularly amusing, since he shares a CatchPhrase with the narrator. The one with MorganFreeman ([[labelnote:sorta]]It's actually a voice imitator named Josh Robert Thompson[[/labelnote]]) also includes some pretty hilarious commentary.

* In a meta-example, the movie received either the highest, or near-highest ratings even in countries lenient towards sexual content like the Netherlands, Germany or Scandinavia. In France, the movie only got a ''12'' rating (the next lowest is Sweden and Denmark with a 15 rating, which is still the highest rating in those countries). And then the fact that the MediaWatchdog of France thought the rating was ''too high'' and deserved the equivalent of an All-ages rating. [[NationalStereotypes Let that sink in]] [[EuropeansAreKinky for a minute.]]

** [[Creator/JonStJohn Jon St John]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oUa-3W0BFI reading a passage]] as DukeNukem is gold.

** Comedian Andrew Orvedahl's thoughts on a passage of narration that actually ends with the phrase ", or something."
--> ..."Or something"? You're the fucking '''author!''' You get to decide what that "something" is; that's part of your ''job!''

--> "Or something"? You're the fucking '''author!''' You get to decide what that "something" is; that's your ''whole job!''