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troperville

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tools

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toys

• Not in the work itself, but various celebrities reading it.
  • The George Takei one is particularly amusing, since he shares a Catch Phrase with the narrator. The one with Morgan Freeman (sorta
    It's actually a voice imitator named Josh Robert Thompson
    ) also includes some pretty hilarious commentary.
• Anytime the phrase "inner goddess" is uttered. Among the things it does is a "salsa merengue," and waving pom-poms like a cheerleader, and it is once said to be like someone who has had an ice-cream snatched from it.
• Every time the "subconscious" is mentioned. Interestingly, the "subconscious" isn't really her subconscious, because she's clearly aware what the subconscious is doing (such as wearing half-moon spectacles) which is fully conscious.
• Every time Ana goes "Oh my!" or "Holy crap!" and wants to masturbate at the sight of Christian Grey.
• Every time a foil packet (euphemism for condom) is mentioned during a sex scene.
• Every time a euphemism for vagina is used e.g. "my sex".
• Every time a euphemism for penis is used e.g. "incredible length".
• "I would like to bite that lip."
• "Moving down, I push him into my mouth. He groans again. Ha! My inner goddess is thrilled. I can do this. I can fuck him with my mouth."
  • "My Christian flavored popsicle."
• "I'm a ho with dirty sex hair."
• The fact that the author obviously isn't familiar with the BDSM subculture.
• Let's just say the whole book.