Funny / Fallout 2

  • You can prank call the Enclave. And if you have the Restoration/Megamod patch, they send a squad to kill you. Then you can kill them, and take their Disc One Nuke equipment, if you can, and if you can't, with high Speech you can bullshit your way out like a champ!
  • The low intelligence dialogue with K-9:
    Chosen One: Uh... doggie talk?
    K-9: One; I am a dog. Two; I am communicating with you vocally using the common English language. Therefore it is safe to assume that the answer to your question is 'yes, doggie talk.' Now, do you intend to answer the question that I posed to you a moment ago?
    Chosen One: Sorry, me forget question.
    K-9: (sighs) Pay attention. Concentrate. Look me in the eyes. Now, are you ready?
    Chosen One: Ready what?
    K-9: I... If it were not for the fact that your IQ is less than my height in feet, I would think that you are trying to irritate me. Now, be silent. Pay attention. Concentrate. Look me in the eyes. I am about to ask you a question.
  • The low intelligence dialogue with Myron.
  • Sulik's reaction to meeting a low-intelligence character:
    Sulik: Most people have evil spirits. You? You have stupid spirits. Go see shaman. Get hole in head. Big hole. Very big. Huge!
  • Sulik then points you to a man named Torr whom the player can have low intelligence conversations with (Complete with subtitles!). The implication being that the two idiots understand one another perfectly. Here's a transcript:
    Torr: Me Torr (I'm Torr. Can I help you with anything?)
    Chosen One: You Torr (Hello, Torr. I do have a few questions for you.)
    Torr: Torr tell? (What would you like to know, my friend?)
    Chosen One: Want! (you point at things) (Where can I barter?)
    Torr: Tragu? Oo Kramat? Ick boo Den. (A trader here in Klamath? Why yes, Vic trades in antiquities for the most part. He's not in town right now. I think he might be trading things at the Den. That's south of here.)
    Chosen One: Bar-ba Eden? (Have you ever heard of a Garden of Eden Creation Kit?)note 
    Torr: Jeannie? Gick Vic (So you want a GECK, huh? Weren't those originally issued to vaults? I don't know where you'd find one, but if anyone does it would be Vic, the trader. He specializes in prewar things. He lives in the northeast part of Klamath.)
    Chosen One: Roger? Gick Vic, Haji! (Thanks; I think I'll go look for him now. Goodbye.)
  • From Navarro:
    Chosen One: Yes sir!
    Sergeant Dornan: I AM NOT A SIR! I work for a living, you MO-ROOON!
    • Also:
    Dornan: (upon being told that you were never issued your Power Armor) What was that? YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT, MAGGOT!? The truth is, you've lost an expensive piece of army issue equipment! That suit is gonna come out of your pay! AND YOU WILL REMAIN IN THIS MAN'S ARMY UNTIL YOU ARE (inhale) FIIIIVE-HUNDRED AND TEN YEARS OLD! WHICH IS THE NUMBER OF YEARS IT WILL TAKE FOR YOU TO PAY FOR THE MARK TWO POWERED COMBAT ARMOR YOU HAVE LOST!
    • Also also:
    Dornan: YOU MO-RON! You are not to question my orders! When I say jump, you jump! When I say fight, you fight! When I tell you to die for your country, THEN YOU WILL CERTAINLY DIE!! Have I made myself clear?!
    • Really, anything Dornan says. It's not really something you can express in text, though a size 72 font helps a little.
    Dornan: A civilian? How in the hell did a civilian get on this base?! I'LL HAVE SOMEONES ASS FOR DINNER!
  • If you get too irradiated, your character sprouts a sixth toe. If you have this toe surgically removed, it's possible to eat it. The game's response? "You just ate your fucking toe!"
  • The conversation with Myron with a female character:
    Myron: So, beautiful... how about we get in bed and do some mattress dancing?
    Chosen One: I would, but I don't have ten seconds to spare right now.
    • Most of the other female responses to Myron's blatant come-ons are worth seeing.
  • The long suffering, and very alcoholic Father Tully has many gems of wisdom to share with the Chosen One.
    Chosen One: What does Mrs. Bishop say in confession?
    Father Tully: Mostly what you'd 'xpect from a neglected wifey-o with a body whoose curves could cure th' blind. Mostly adultery. I mean, have you seen her rack? My word!
  • Right after Frank Horrigan kills Matt in San Fransisco:
    Frank: Well, it's a little past 12. Anyone up for lunch?
    Enclave Soldier 1: Score, I'm there.
    Enclave Soldier 2: Yeah, count me in on that.
  • Try fiddling with the nuke in the Enclave base with a low Science skill.
    Chosen One: Mother of Go-
  • Putting the landmine you get from a grave robber to good use.
  • After learning of Mob Boss Jesus Mordino:
    Chosen One: I always suspected Jesus had ties to organized crime.
  • Setting a timed explosive beneath the outhouse in Modoc. Due to all the methane gas down there, you go flying as you climb out (assuming you even survive), and for the remainder of the game, half the town will be covered in crap. All just to find a lost pocketwatch.
  • Broken Hills. The Spore Plant, which gives you information on chess against a intelligent scorpion made by the local doctor. You can take three tests against the thing: Agility, Eye, and Smarts.
    Chosen One: How the hell did you open a lock with CLAWS?
  • "MOO, I say!!", says a randomly encountered brahmin. Becomes doubly hilarious when Ed in Vault City sometimes comments "I could have sworn I heard that cow shout "Moo, I say" or somesuch...."
  • Getting the Fallout 2 hintbook from Father Tully after beating the game.
    You see: The Fallout 2 Hintbook
    Well, this would've been useful at the beginning of the goddamn game.
  • When talking to Renesco in his shop he might ask the Chosen One what it is that he/she wants:
    Chosen One: What do I want? I don't really know. Most of the time I ignore my quest and walk into the homes of others, riffling through people's shelves... oooh, like those over there!
  • When your character realizes that asking the person you're blackmailing to give you advanced medical treatment is a bad idea.
  • Monstrous though he may be, Horrigan's comeback to the Chosen One's attempts to talk him down is pretty clever.
    Chosen One: Can't we talk this over?
    Frank Horrigan: We just did. Time for talking's over.
  • One of the random encounters is the Bridge of Doom from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.