* "This pot is making you aggressive."
* [[{{Bishonen}} Bill]] repeatedly being MistakenForGay, first heckled by a bunch of guys on the street, then being blatantly hit on by the receptionist at Nick's hotel. His awkwardness is decidedly palpable, and [[HilariousInHindsight made even funnier]] by the [[DoubleMeaning running]] [[MissionImpossibleFilmSeries joke]] about Creator/TomCruise being in the closet.
* Kubrick had a real thing for hyper-literal humour. In the otherwise very serious talk with Victor:
-->Bill: Have you seen this?
-->''(gives Victor the obituary notice; he scans over it for a moment, folds it up, then hands it back)''
-->Victor: Yes I have.
* The scene with Mr. Milich (the foreign costume shop owner) is legitimately funny.
* The final lines. The cinematic testament of Kubrick -- one of the most scrutinized artists of all time -- simply states that [[YouNeedToGetLaid people need to get laid more]].
-->'''Alice:''' I do love you and you know there is something very important we need to do as soon as possible.
-->'''Bill:''' What's that?
-->'''Alice:''' Fuck.

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