!! The film ''Film/{{Evolution}}'':
* "There's '''always''' time for lubricant!"
* From the same scene:
--> '''Dr. Paulson:''' We might have to amputate. ''(grabs a surgical saw)''\\
'''Harry''': ''Whoa'', Doc! Don't take the leg! Ira, don't let them take my leg.\\
'''Ira:''' Isn't there anything else you can do? He thinks he's an athlete.\\
'''Nurse Tate:''' Doctor, look!\\
'''Dr. Paulson:''' It's headed for his testicles!\\
'''Harry''': ''Take it! Take it!!'' '''TAKE THE LEG!!'''
--> '''Ira:''' Cut him open, let's get this thing!\\
'''Harry''': ''Cut me open''?! There goes your Christmas gift, Judas!
--> '''Alison''': Can we get you anything? Do you need anything?\\
'''Harry''': Ice cream... I'd like an ice cream, please.\\
'''Alison''': Yeah? What flavour?\\
'''Harry''': It doesn't matter. It's for my ass.
* Harry's reaction to the field of dead alien birds... and Ira's reaction to Harry's reaction...
--> '''Harry:''' GREAT GOOGLE-MOOGLE!\\
'''Ira:''' (Looks at Harry with a bemused look)
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooDpsPKkQFE&feature=related This scene, full stop]]. Somehow, the comic timing between [[Film/AmericanPie Stifler]], [[Film/{{Drumline}} Dr. Lee]] and [[Series/TheXFiles Agent Mulder]] melds into something unearthly yet full of lulz. The fact that Harry is almost completely and utterly deadpan throughout just sells it.
--> '''Wayne''': ''(steps up to microphone)'' Ka-kaw. Ka-kaw? Ka-kaaaw! Ah-ah-ee-ee-tookie-tookie-tookie-tookie-ka-kaw-ka-kaw-kaw-kaw!\\
'''Harry:''' Wayne, I think we've established that "Ka-Kaw Ka-Kaw" and "[[WesternAnimation/GeorgeOfTheJungle Tookie-Tookie]]" don't work.\\
'''Wayne:''' ''(sheepish)'' Right. Sorry.\\
''(After a short while, he starts singing into the mic, to the utter disbelief of Ira and Harry)''\\
'''Wayne:''' ''(singing)'' You are so beautiful, to meeee... ''(Ira and Harry stare at him)'' \\
'''Ira:''' ...Step back, Harry, I'm gonna shoot him.\\
'''Harry:''' Uh-uh, stand down! I'm gonna kill this one myself.\\
'''Wayne:''' You are so beautiful, to meeee...\\
'''Harry:''' Wayne, please stop singing because you are embarassing me.\\
'''Wayne:''' ''(right at him)'' CAN'T YOU SEEEE-EEEEE!
** Best part? ''[[CrazyEnoughToWork It works]].''
--> '''Harry''': ''[upon hearing that his singing is working]'' Yeah, sing, sing! Rub some funk on it!
* Ira's "[[{{Mooning}} fruit basket]]" for General Woodman.[[note]]It gets better when you realize that wasn't scripted. After a long day's shoot, everybody was punchy and irritable, and Duchovny did it as a goof. When Reitman asked if it was for the film or just "for the troops," Duchovny decided to ThrowItIn[[/note]]
* Harry [[spoiler: holding the bottle of Head and Shoulders shampoo backwards during the [[ProductPlacement commercial]] at the end.]]
* {After the dragon alien [[BizarreAlienReproduction barfs up its eggsac]]}
--> '''Harry''': Mazel tov, it's a boy!
* Harry, upon seeing the "dog" alien dead: "That dog is all ass."
* The entire sequence at the end, especially Harry getting [[AssShove sucked into the giant alien's ass]].
'''Harry:''' IT'S ''HOR-R-R-RIBLE'' IN HERE!
** Not to mention when Ira finally pries him out;
-->'''Harry''': Don't you '''EVER''' tell anyone where I've been!
--> '''Ira:''' If I was a giant nasty alien bird in a department store, where would I be?\\
'''Harry:''' Lingerie.\\
'''Ira:''' Not you, the bird.\\
'''Harry:''' ...Lingerie!
* Deke and Danny's [[EpicFail hilariously bad]] science papers:
--> '''Ira:''' Last night as I was grading papers, I came across two gems both entitled "Cells are Bad" and both with just one paragraph which I unfortunately committed to memory: "Cells are bad. My uncle lives in a cell. It's ten foot by twelve and he has to read the same boring old magazine everyday. The end."
* The General explains how to kill the alien.
-->'''General Woodman''': With napalm. Lots and lots of napalm.
* Ira and Allison sneak out of the awards ceremony.
-->'''Allison''': Your big moment, huh? You wouldn't want to miss this for ''anything''.\\
{{beat}}, ''Ira looks at her, the two back away from the line quietly''
** Then the governor notices they're missing.
-->'''Governor''': And finally, Doctors Ira Kane and Allison Reed, whose tireless efforts and research and academic findings led to the- ''[notices they're missing]'' ''[looks to Harry]''\\
'''Harry''': I think he's giving her a bit of the [[UnusualEuphemism Kane]] [[CallBack madness.]]\\\\
'''Governor''': ''[{{beat}}]'' '''Oh'''.

!! The novel ''Literature/{{Evolution}}'':