Funny / Everything Is Illuminated

  • Alex showing a porn magazine to his little brother and explaining that the position 69 is so named "because it was invented in 1969".
  • In an argument over whether Alex's grandfather's "seeing-eye bitch" can come on Jonathan's tour, Alex suggests that they it would be more acceptable if the dog had a uniform. One Gilligan Cut later, the dog is wearing a white shirt with the words "Officious Seeing-Eye Bitch" hand-written with a marker pen. Bonus points for the dog's name being Sammy Davis Jr. Jr. Extra bonus points for the fact that Alex's grandfather isn't actually blind.
  • Frequent ones from Alex's bad English, including the use of "carnal" for "sex" and "premium" for...anything good, really.
  • When asking for directions, Jonathan offers a Ukrainian worker Marlboro cigarettes as a tip. Both the worker and Alex are completely confused by this, and Alex explains by saying to the worker, "He does not eat meat", with the evident meaning of "He's crazy". The earlier scene where Jonathan explains he's a vegetarian - a completely foreign concept to Alex and other Ukrainians - is pretty funny in itself.
  • "He doesn't eat meat." "Not even kielbasa?"