Jack is consulting with Parson, saying that he's the Only Sane Man in this land of battle-mad Royals. "Perhaps you should defect, and join us all.". Then Parson reveals his latest exploit in order to save Wanda's and Jack's lives:
Parson: It involves turning this battle into a food fight. Jack: I see. Well! Bravo Lord! T'was a splendidly speedy defection.
Jack: Excellent! Sizemore, there's a new unit to be made in the Chief Warlord's trousers.
In "Inner Peace (Through Superior Firepower)", Wanda is trapped in a city with the enemy, but the city is under a spell which prevents combat. While she is safe from enemy attacks, she is not safe from enemy... "advances". The hilarious part is how she turns the tables on them, by having her uncroaked units do the same to them.
Narration: And with no chance to engage and defend themselves, the culprits were now spending the night either running from the lascivious crotch-gropes of the uncroaked, or curling up in a corner somewhere and enduring them.
CharlsNChrg: If an attuned wielder of an Arkentool were to croak, it would seem to be pretty compelling evidence that the Titans were not on their side. Don't you think?
CharlsNChrg: Perhaps it's an experiment that ought to be carried out.
LordHamster: Oh, Charlie...
LordHamster: I know business sucks, but that's no reason to start talking about suicide.
CharlsNChrg: Parson, is it actually your goal to make me hate you more every time we chat?
LordHamster: Me? I'm just talking.
From the same update, after bragging about "inventing" toilet paper:
LordHamster: That is interesting, Charlie. Almost more interesting than toilet paper.
LordHamster: Though my ass would disagree.
LordHamster: Determining the decision not to spend all the calculations. Cost: one calculation.
LordHamster: Teaching me that my bracer can make sophisticated predictions about the future? Priceless.
In Book 0, Jillian, through an incredible stroke of luck, manages to tame a dwagon just in time to fight off a bunch of enemy units. One Curbstomp Battle later, she tries to fly off on its back, but it's flying funny, and not responding well to her commands. Jillian realizes the problem; the dwagon had just eaten three high elves.
Tramennis: Brother, it pains me to see you this way. Ossomer: Yes, I would imagine- Tramennis: Ansom! Now Ansom could, admittedly, pull off the scarlet-and-black. But I'm sorry, that is an atrocious look on you.
Isaac deadpans that isn't inclined to say where Parson is given that the person who asked just tried to assassinate him.
Parson: Now can you tunnel under Portal Park, all the way from our portal to the one that goes to Spacerock? Sizemore: I... can... why would I? Parson: Because you always wanted to see a big fat guy do a fifty-yard dash in a suit of armor, underground? (slips on his cape) Erf- crap. Cape. Sizemore: (with a doubtful look) I'm... pretty sure I haven't. Parson: (smiling) I have. This place needs YouTube.
In the "Duke Forecastle" short story, the titular Duke is assigned as the first mate of the HMS Unsinkable II, his side's flagship, despite lacking the seafarer special (Ships can have a limited number of units assigned as crew. Each crew unit contributes to the ship's move, firepower, and other stats, but a unit without seafarer can only contribute a fraction of the value of an otherwise identical unit that does have seafarer). He is not told why his side has made such an illogical move, until eventually the Unsinkable II's captain lets him in on the secret: Nobody, including the Admiralty, has the slightest clue what he's doing there. They have assigned him where they did based solely on the fact that their greatest rival did the same thing and has won two impossible victories.
During one of the summer updates◊, Parson is trying to talk to the Archons and has a minor freak-out over the realization that, as he puts it, "There wasn't a way they really could volunteer to be with him. He had absolute power, as their warlord. He also had no power to be anything but their warlord." That isn't funny. What is a little funny is Epilogue 17, where it's clear to us that Artemis is volunteering, but Parson seems to completely miss it. This may have to with the authority granted to a warlord.