Funny / Erfworld

Book One

2009 Summer Updates

  • From Summer Update('09) 48:
    CharlsNChrg: If an attuned wielder of an Arkentool were to croak, it would seem to be pretty compelling evidence that the Titans were not on their side. Don't you think?
    CharlsNChrg: Perhaps it's an experiment that ought to be carried out.
    LordHamster: Oh, Charlie...
    LordHamster: I know business sucks, but that's no reason to start talking about suicide.
    CharlsNChrg: ...
    CharlsNChrg: Parson, is it actually your goal to make me hate you more every time we chat?
    LordHamster: Me? I'm just talking.
    • From the same update, after bragging about "inventing" toilet paper:
    LordHamster: That is interesting, Charlie. Almost more interesting than toilet paper.
    LordHamster: Though my ass would disagree.
    • From 39:
    LordHamster: Sure.
    LordHamster: Determining the decision not to spend all the calculations. Cost: one calculation.
    CharlsNChrg: :)
    LordHamster: Teaching me that my bracer can make sophisticated predictions about the future? Priceless.
    CharlsNChrg: ...
    CharlsNChrg: :(
  • Parson is trying to talk to the Archons and has a minor freak-out over the realization that, as he puts it, "There wasn't a way they really could volunteer to be with him. He had absolute power, as their warlord. He also had no power to be anything but their warlord." That isn't funny. What is a little funny is Epilogue 17, where it's clear to us that Artemis is volunteering, but Parson seems to completely miss it. This may have to with the authority granted to a warlord.
    • It's really not that clear. There are several possible reasons she might want to stick around while Parson continues his talk with the casters, from plain curiosity to thinking that they might talk about something where strategic imput might be useful. All she does, after all, is questioning (silently) whether he's sure that he wants her to leave.
  • Summer Update 17. Specifically, the part where it is revealed that Transylvito - a city you don't want to mess with - is built on top of "Mount Mofo."

Book Two

  • Page 6 of Book 2. "If we use a flash to cover the casting..."
  • This:
    Tramennis: Brother, it pains me to see you this way.
    Ossomer: Yes, I would imagine-
    Tramennis: Ansom! Now Ansom could, admittedly, pull off the scarlet-and-black. But I'm sorry, that is an atrocious look on you.
  • Jack is consulting with Parson, saying that he's the Only Sane Man in this land of battle-mad Royals. "Perhaps you should defect, and join us all.". Then Parson reveals his latest exploit in order to save Wanda's and Jack's lives:
    Parson: It involves turning this battle into a food fight.
    Jack: I see. Well! Bravo Lord! T'was a splendidly speedy defection.
  • Charlie and Parson have some great moments together when they square off, but it pales in comparison to the chemistry between Parson and Jack Snipe.
  • This exchange:
    Parson: Now can you tunnel under Portal Park, all the way from our portal to the one that goes to Spacerock?
    Sizemore: I... can... why would I?
    Parson: Because you always wanted to see a big fat guy do a fifty-yard dash in a suit of armor, underground? (slips on his cape) Erf- crap. Cape.
    Sizemore: (with a doubtful look) I'm... pretty sure I haven't.
    Parson: (smiling) I have. This place needs YouTube.
  • "O Snap".
  • The UNGODLY awkward conversation between Stanley the Tool and Zhopa the Twoll. Stanley obviously needs to work on his people skills.
  • Jack poking his head through the portal to see what's taking Parson so long.
    Jack: By any chance, have you seen my chief warlord? Little fellow? Bit smaller than a palace?
  • This strip has an irreplaceable gem:
    Parson: You scared the crap out of me!
    Jack: Excellent! Sizemore, there's a new unit to be made in the Chief Warlord's trousers.
  • Stanley has a big introspective thought about the implications of Parson dying and the fact that he'll never be able to give Parson his own side someday... Then he gets distracted by Zhopa's comment about a "peekneek" and losing track of what he was thinking. Then proceeds to save Parson's butt by being carried by his minion like a football.
  • Isaac deadpans that isn't inclined to say where Parson is given that the person who asked just tried to assassinate him.

Book Three

  • Parson responding to some battlefield Rhyme-o-Mancy by Doing the Numa Numa.
  • At a dinner with Don King, Parson tells stories about some of the stupid things uncroaked warlords can do when you're not paying enough attention to the orders you give them. For instance, there was one time an uncroaked warlord was left in the tunnels with a crap golem, and ordered to trigger the golem if they were ever outnumbered. The warlord blew up the golem when it encountered three completely harmless feral animals.

Book Zero

  • Wanda is trapped in a city with the enemy, but the city is under a spell which prevents combat. While she is safe from enemy attacks, she is not safe from enemy... "advances". The hilarious part is how she turns the tables on them, by having her uncroaked units do the same to them.
    Narration: And with no chance to engage and defend themselves, the culprits were now spending the night either running from the lascivious crotch-gropes of the uncroaked, or curling up in a corner somewhere and enduring them.
  • In Book 0, Jillian, through an incredible stroke of luck, manages to tame a dwagon just in time to fight off a bunch of enemy units. One Curbstomp Battle later, she tries to fly off on its back, but it's flying funny, and not responding well to her commands. Jillian realizes the problem; the dwagon had just eaten three high elves.

Backer Stories

  • In the "Duke Forecastle" short story, the titular Duke is assigned as the first mate of the HMS Hubris Unsinkable II, his side's flagship, despite lacking the seafarer special (Ships can have a limited number of units assigned as crew. Each crew unit contributes to the ship's move, firepower, and other stats, but a unit without seafarer can only contribute a fraction of the value of an otherwise identical unit that does have seafarer). He is not told why his side has made such an illogical move, until eventually the Unsinkable II's captain lets him in on the secret: Nobody, including the Admiralty, has the slightest clue what he's doing there. They have assigned him where they did based solely on the fact that their greatest rival did the same thing and has won two impossible victories.
    • Even better: The admiral berates the idea and calls it superstitious. In the next page it's revealed that he's probably the most superstitious person on the boat.
      • Though that ceases to be funny a few pages later when the admiral's superstition causes him to order Duke Forecastle keel hauled.
    • The ship's name is a funny moment all by itself.